The Deadman's dance is not a terrible book. However it also wasn't a very interesting book, at least to me. It probably mainly has to do with my lack...moreThe Deadman's dance is not a terrible book. However it also wasn't a very interesting book, at least to me. It probably mainly has to do with my lack of interest in Australian history but even a fictional retelling of the first settlement didn't keep my interest. Sadly, neither did the characters/ They were so unbelievable that it was hard to believe they were actually people. They didn't have much depth or personality. They seemed more like situations rather than actual people.
There is however one good thing about the book, and that is the writing. Scott has a gift for writing. His prose is almost perfect and the way he creates scenery, imagery, feeling and settings is ridiculously amazing. Though the prose was flowery, there was never a moment when the writing made me roll my eyes, unlike with other books that tend to use flowery prose. (less)
Just when you thought it couldn't get much worse when desperately single women who tired of the bondage slave they imprisoned for 20 years began publi...moreJust when you thought it couldn't get much worse when desperately single women who tired of the bondage slave they imprisoned for 20 years began publishing their Fifty shades of Grey fanfiction, this shit is published. It seems as time passes that the quality and integrity of literature, like aging scrotums and breasts, is going doooooooown towards the grouuuund.
-Review after having read part one-
Well first of all the synopsis is ridiculous. It just jumps from one ridiculous plot point to another. Boo-hoo, ugly girl, here comes the Hunger Games referen-FATHERDOINGSOMEKINDOFSCIENYTHINGYTHATFUCKSEVERYTHINGUPPPP-beast mannnnn, he's a hot guy tooooo-ADOPTED AUNT SOMEWHERE IN THERE, BECAUSE REASONS.
Something I find interesting about this book and the author, though mind you not in a kind fashion of the word 'interesting', is that she tries ever so hard to pass this book off as 'combating racism', even though the tactics she uses are about as useful to combating racism as Playboy magazines are for dead people. Not very.
One does not simply combat racism by using ridiculous premises which basically end up being racist themselves. I mean seriously, blackface? Coals? Black people being seen as monsters? White being the minority? Give me a break.
Since when is being a white supremacist apologist combating racism? The author, on her blog, pretty much stands up on her white shining pedestal and weeps 'Oh woe is me, I am white, and soon the world will be overrun by darker skinned people. Woe is me, I am white and in the minority'. Right. So all those many, many, MANY years of whites being assholes to people of other skin colours were just mumblings of your history teacher whose lessons you slept through. Racism has a history of progress (at least in some societies thus far). Turning the tables by switching the situations can't be done with coherent sense.
If you want to combat racism correctly, watch the movie AMERICAN HISTORY X. You might have heard of it. It stars Edward Norton, whom I'm sure more than one of you have masturbated to at some point. Yeah, he's awesome, isn't he? He sure is. A brilliant and dedicated actor. One of a fucking kind. Go and watch that movie he was in called American History X, and that's how you combat racism. The movie basically did it in a way that no class is shown as better than the other, but basically points out the flaws of the hatred both sides have for each other and ends up binding them together through this hatred, but not as people of different classes, rather as human beings. This book is just a silly attempt to be bold and anti-racist. But it's... so silly.
I kinda wish the book ends where the first part ends. Eden gets killed. The end. All is well.
Mrs. Foyt, I think you should take a nice long nap. Just... consider that before you write the second book of the series... and consider it again each time. Thanks. (less)
I wish I read this book when I was 16. That was back when I was still in regular contact with a then-close friend of mine who also suffered anorexia a...moreI wish I read this book when I was 16. That was back when I was still in regular contact with a then-close friend of mine who also suffered anorexia and eventually became bulimic. I say I wish I read this book at 16 because I'm pretty sure that if I had, I would have been a bit more understanding of what she was going through. I'm not saying I understand anorexia perfectly now, because quite obviously I don't, and probably can't. But there's one thing I do know and understand, and that is that anorexia is one fucking cruel creature.
I still wish I could have read this book when I was 16, when I was a naive little shit and thought anorexia was just a silly choice made by a girl under pressure. It's not. I thought that making her promise me that she would eat would work out fine and that it was an easy thing to do. And quite honestly, I feel ashamed of myself, because not only was that stupid, it led to a pretty bad fight during which I hurt her pretty badly. I wish, oh how I wish, I could have read this when I was still close to her. Because if I had read this book back then, I might have been able to be there for her better. And now I don't know if I can still do that.
I mention this because this book strongly reminded me of my friend. I saw a lot of her in Lia. But other than how it affected me personally, this book was actually an interesting read. Lia was one of the best voices I've read in a while. She actually had some individuality to her point of view, and she didn't sound like any other teenage girl voice pattern that too many YA authors tend to use. One thing that did annoy me was the constant use of striked through texts. I know it's supposed to represent something in this book, but after about 30 uses it kind of gets old.
I think the most powerful scene in this book, and which in my opinion was the perfect description of what anorexia will create, is when Lia comes to realise that she will never be skinny enough, that she will never be satisfied at 65 pounds, or 60, or 55, until that scale reaches 0. It was almost scary to read. I wonder if my friend felt the same way. She would always tell me she was never skinny enough.
I obviously recommend this book. It doesn't exactly have an action packed plot, it's more like a journey through a girl's struggle with anorexia (obviously, but it's what drives all the events). Even the ending was great and made perfect sense to me. I can't really explain how without spoiling anything, so just read the damn book.
Dear 16 year old self, you should have read this book. Damn you. (less)
Hannah Moskowitz is a gift to the YA community that just keeps on fucking giving. Her writing is impressive, her stories are interesting and original,...moreHannah Moskowitz is a gift to the YA community that just keeps on fucking giving. Her writing is impressive, her stories are interesting and original, and her characters are actual people with flesh and bones that suffer the stress of being human in a world of humans.
Gone, Gone, Gone is her best work so far. I have not yet read Invincible Summer, but I damn well will soon. Until then, this remains at the top. I don't usually read several books by one author, but I've basically been buying anything Hannah Moskowitz that has been published or pre-ordered what is yet to be published. Honey, that means I like you, and I thin you are a damn good writer. And if you're a damn good writer... you're in trouble, because I fucking worship you.
Anyway, onto the book and no more of my insane rambling:
The book was really interesting, but my favourite part about it was the romance, which I want to highlight in this review because I think it's important. Not because I have some sort of gay-guys-doing-stuff fetish, or at least not entirely because of that, but because this particular love story is one of the best I've ever seen in the Young Adult shelf of all places.
YA romance usually consist of a hot girl and a hot guy where the only difficulty in their perfect relationship is that they're too attractive for each other. In Gone, Gone, Gone the difficulty is that both of them are PEOPLE. People with problems, worries, the anxiety of growing up and the world crumbling around their feet, who find each other and feel things for each other that confuse them all the more which makes it harder for them to be with each other. And unlike the YA romance for scumbags like Twilight and all its spawns, the two main characters actually benefit one another and grow together as two people in love do. And even when their lives become more complicated, they still offer each other refuge from their world. And it's such a wonderful romance. It's not the typical romance where two people just end up together either, due to their personal issues it takes some time to grow together and the relationship is sort of ambiguous, but it makes perfect sense as to why and to expect anything more would cause the relationship to be unrealistic.
Now stop reading my review and go read the fucking book. (less)
Garbage. Absolutely horrifying, utter trash. A waste of trees, bookshelf space and precious, oh so very fucking precious braincells. Honestly, why is...moreGarbage. Absolutely horrifying, utter trash. A waste of trees, bookshelf space and precious, oh so very fucking precious braincells. Honestly, why is this even published? Every single book store in Sydney is promoting this tripe, claiming it to be some kind of awesome romance novel. Are you absolutely shitting me? There is nothing romantic at all about this 'book'. And I don't mean the BDSM erotica themes, I mean the fifty levels of abuse in this friggin' thing.
In fact, that's what this book should be called. 'Fifty shades of absolute-fucking-insanity-and-abuse'. I know at least every one star reviewer has taken the title and created their own pun with it, but fuck it, I'm jumping on the bandwagon too.
Before I decided to read this (God help me), I kept seeing it everywhere I went, and the book store where I work was involved in the promotion among other book store chains. Typical. All me and my co-workers knew that it was smut, and a hell of a lot of it too. We even turned the book into a drinking game, and it goes as thus: Flip to a random page of the book. If it's something dirty, take a drink. I do not recommend this game, for one could die from alcohol poisoning within the first round. But if you're feeling adventurous... by all means. Glad I could be of service to your crazy party ideas.
But anyway, let's cut to my opinion of this abomination of literature. I decided to read it because it sounded like garbage, and I haven't written a review about garbage in too long. I owed something to the people who actually found me worthwhile to follow on Goodreads. So I decided hell, I'll review this.
Brain cells I will never, ever, EVER, get back.
This is literally the worst book I have ever read, and I say that about many books. But this is the worst book for a damn good reason. Let's talk about what I hated about this book. The bottom line is I hated absolutely everything. And I'm not saying that to be funny, I'm saying that out of all seriousness. I didn't find a single redeeming quality in this book. With the Hush, hush series we at least had the unintentional hilarity and the awesomeness of Marcie. In Twilight we had that chick who wanted to kill Bella and Tyler's van. Fifty shades of Grey has no such redeeming qualities. The characters are bland and merely props to set the stage for fucking weird BDSM-ing, and the plot was lost somewhere in the vagina of the author's wet dream. (Believe me, I feel weird for even typing these words.)
Not to mention, even though everyone already knows this, this was originally a Twilight fan fiction called 'Master of the universe' or some shitty, stupid title like that. How did such a thing get published? What, Twilight wasn't horrible and abuse-glorifying enough, so we had to kick it up a notch with publishing 'Master of the universe'? Are you people serious? Why is it that dumber and dumber things are getting published? Quality is almost non-existent. Fucking hell.
But before I rant on for hours about that, let's talk about the characters. Oh, I mean props. Yeah, props is more appropriate. Why? Because the characters, for all the personality they had may as well have been props.
Our first main prop is Ana, aka Bella Swan. The plain, virginal wallflower who thinks lowly of herself whilst everyone around her just seems to freaking worship her. She is also clumsy, reads books, has divorced parents, doesn't get along with her step-father, and is a brain dead moronic twat. Remind you of anyone? I wonder who you're thinking of. That is a humdinger, isn't it? I'm amazed how many women are not pissed off with her complete lack of sense and self-respect. She lets a man abuse her physically and emotionally, and allows him to satiate his ever-growing need to control her completely, passing it off as some cute obsessive habit. And even if she has doubts and runs away, she comes running back to him only seconds after. How are people not pissed off about this? Seriously? Not to mention she has zero personality, zero brain-cells, and zero common sense. Her character serves no purpose other than becoming some abusive asshole's sex toy.
And let's not forget our second main prop, Christian Grey, aka Edward Cullen, aka creepy-stalker-sociopathic-megalomaniacal-abusive-horrifying-asshole. The fact that he has fangirls in the real world has pretty much ruined my faith in mankind, and the new generation. Christian Gray pretty much pushes the limits that Edward Cullen, Patch, Daniel and others have yet to push due to their PG ratings, but fuck does Christian Grey push those fucking limits. He physically abuses Ana, and it somehow gets excused on the account that she was briefly aroused by it. SERIOUSLY PEOPLE?? SERIOUSLY?? Fuck my life. He also decides what she should eat, what she should wear, how she should act, speak, communicate with him, where she can and can't go or what she can and can't do, threatens her constantly even with physical violence, and the list goes on. I kid you not. He even has this set out as a contract (which by the way is repeated at least 5 times in the fucking book). Here's another example of how romantic this mother fucker is:
"I like the control it gives me, Anastasia. I want you to behave in a particular way, and if you don't, I shall punish you, and you will learn to behave the way I desire."
See? Romantic as freaking Mel Gibson. And by the way, the women who find this guy romantic need some serious therapy. Seriously. Harsh I know, but finding this guy romantic is like like excusing the actions of a child-molester because he has nice hair. This is not romantic. This is ABUSIVE and WRONG on sooooo many levels.
I don't know why they decided to plant this book in the general romance section. This is not romantic. And don't give me the 'IT'S MEANT TO BE BDSM, SO IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE ALL DOM VS SUB'. This goes way beyond the good ol' BDSM theme and just ends up treading into abusive territory. Christian takes these aspects into the relationship where he ends up not only controlling a woman sexually, but also emotionally, and deliberately moulding her into not just a sex partner, but an ideal of what he wants her to be and leaves her no room for her individuality and instead brands it as 'punishable'. That's not part of the BDSM jig. I'm sorry, but it's not. Why people even call this romantic is beyond me. I already mentioned the abusive aspects of this so called relationship, but other than that it was a relationship built on air. Since neither of the characters had any personality outside their sex drives, they had nothing that they saw in each other. They couldn't relate to each other, they didn't share any common interests, they didn't do any good for each other, outside the sexy stuff. And at the end they want to pass it off as though the two are actually in love? Give me a break. Watching people get swooped at by magpies is more romantic that this garbage.
The plot? There was no plot. Seriously, I could not find it. ANYWHERE. I searched and searched but alas, my search has left me unrewarded. Let me explain in a quick paragraph how this book goes:
'Girl meets some guy. Some guy is hot. Girl thinks some guy is hot. Hot some-guy shows up where girl who thinks some-guy is hot works. Hot some-guy asks out girl, takes her virginity. Stuff happens. Hot some-guy introduces girl (who thinks he's hot, by the way) to his BDSM sex dungeon, and the next half of the book is spent pondering whether or not girl (who thinks some-guy is hot, in case it wasn't mentioned enough in the book) wants to indulge in hot some-guy's fantasies. Also the hot some-guy takes complete control over girl (did I mention she thinks he's hot?) who seems to be totally okay with it. More stuff happens. Girl gets spanked too hard, breaks up with hot some-guy. The end.'
That's it. That's the whole book. And the whole 'Ohhh Christian has secrets' bullcrap in the blurb? Bullcrap. His secrets are mentioned in only 5% of the book and drive the plot nowhere. The book is only about how some asshole wants to control some stupid girl. The other characters are barely relevant. They were just more props whose only role was to be interested in the 'relationship' between Ana and Christian. They didn't seem to be interested in anything else. They could be buttering toast and thinking 'I wonder how hard Christian is fucking Ana right now.'
An absolute waste. The media might be promoting this tripe as the new hero of literature, but this is and always will be just another wart on the ass of literature, along with Twilight and all its' descendants. You know what they say, you can polish a turd, but it will still be a turd. (less)
So I see the cover is out. Let's take a look at it.
... oh Go-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAHA WHAT THE FUUUUUUUCKKKK it looks so fucki...moreSo I see the cover is out. Let's take a look at it.
... oh Go-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAHA WHAT THE FUUUUUUUCKKKK it looks so fucking STUPID!!! It's so plastic and fake and what the fuck!! LOL! Oh God, oh shit, okay, okay I'm alright. I'm alright... -looks back at cover, bursts out laughing again- OH GOD MAKE IT STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP
-after about ten minutes of laughing fits-
So... wait, does this mean Patch kills Nora by throwing her in the ocean? BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO SEE.
I am actually going to read this by the way. This series is too freaking hilarious, and I want to see how this train wreck is extinguished. AND I want to see this particular scene on the cover, where Patch is about to throw Nora's corpse into the ocean to cover up the evidence.
Meanwhile Marcie and her father have organized a gang rape for Patch once he returns. They are also planning to steal his underwear. (less)