The Deadman's dance is not a terrible book. However it also wasn't a very interesting book, at least to me. It probably mainly has to do with my lackThe Deadman's dance is not a terrible book. However it also wasn't a very interesting book, at least to me. It probably mainly has to do with my lack of interest in Australian history but even a fictional retelling of the first settlement didn't keep my interest. Sadly, neither did the characters/ They were so unbelievable that it was hard to believe they were actually people. They didn't have much depth or personality. They seemed more like situations rather than actual people.
There is however one good thing about the book, and that is the writing. Scott has a gift for writing. His prose is almost perfect and the way he creates scenery, imagery, feeling and settings is ridiculously amazing. Though the prose was flowery, there was never a moment when the writing made me roll my eyes, unlike with other books that tend to use flowery prose. ...more
Just when you thought it couldn't get much worse when desperately single women who tired of the bondage slave they imprisoned for 20 years began publiJust when you thought it couldn't get much worse when desperately single women who tired of the bondage slave they imprisoned for 20 years began publishing their Fifty shades of Grey fanfiction, this shit is published. It seems as time passes that the quality and integrity of literature, like aging scrotums and breasts, is going doooooooown towards the grouuuund.
-Review after having read part one-
Well first of all the synopsis is ridiculous. It just jumps from one ridiculous plot point to another. Boo-hoo, ugly girl, here comes the Hunger Games referen-FATHERDOINGSOMEKINDOFSCIENYTHINGYTHATFUCKSEVERYTHINGUPPPP-beast mannnnn, he's a hot guy tooooo-ADOPTED AUNT SOMEWHERE IN THERE, BECAUSE REASONS.
Something I find interesting about this book and the author, though mind you not in a kind fashion of the word 'interesting', is that she tries ever so hard to pass this book off as 'combating racism', even though the tactics she uses are about as useful to combating racism as Playboy magazines are for dead people. Not very.
One does not simply combat racism by using ridiculous premises which basically end up being racist themselves. I mean seriously, blackface? Coals? Black people being seen as monsters? White being the minority? Give me a break.
Since when is being a white supremacist apologist combating racism? The author, on her blog, pretty much stands up on her white shining pedestal and weeps 'Oh woe is me, I am white, and soon the world will be overrun by darker skinned people. Woe is me, I am white and in the minority'. Right. So all those many, many, MANY years of whites being assholes to people of other skin colours were just mumblings of your history teacher whose lessons you slept through. Racism has a history of progress (at least in some societies thus far). Turning the tables by switching the situations can't be done with coherent sense.
If you want to combat racism correctly, watch the movie AMERICAN HISTORY X. You might have heard of it. It stars Edward Norton, whom I'm sure more than one of you have masturbated to at some point. Yeah, he's awesome, isn't he? He sure is. A brilliant and dedicated actor. One of a fucking kind. Go and watch that movie he was in called American History X, and that's how you combat racism. The movie basically did it in a way that no class is shown as better than the other, but basically points out the flaws of the hatred both sides have for each other and ends up binding them together through this hatred, but not as people of different classes, rather as human beings. This book is just a silly attempt to be bold and anti-racist. But it's... so silly.
I kinda wish the book ends where the first part ends. Eden gets killed. The end. All is well.
Mrs. Foyt, I think you should take a nice long nap. Just... consider that before you write the second book of the series... and consider it again each time. Thanks. ...more
Hey girls! Are you shallow, desperate, immature, have no concept of reality or love, slightly sociopathic, and brain dead? Is it just too damn hard toHey girls! Are you shallow, desperate, immature, have no concept of reality or love, slightly sociopathic, and brain dead? Is it just too damn hard to keep your man at your heel? Are you tired of yanking that chain all day long? Then 'The Rules' is just the book to feed your fantasies.
Honestly, what the shit kind of horrible person would write something like this? This book is sexist towards men AND women, absolutely shallow, ignores the real aspects of what a relationship is supposed to be built upon, and instead tells you that if you are a woman, you are supposed to have men at your feet. Because apparently only then will you have them loyal to you forever. Come on girls, grow up. Men are not as evil as your man-hating senses may perceive them to be.
What does this book teach you? It teaches women how to manipulate men in order to keep 'em following them around like dogs. And obviously this is a piece of cake in bizzaro-world where men have no brain in their head to think with. And if you do that, like play hard to get (cuz that's totes romantic) they will be crazy about you forever and ever and will never cheat on you, because you're making sure that you're the center of their universe. You're making sure that they fucking worship the ground you walk upon, that they wait by the phone all day waiting anxiously for the sound of your sweet, beautiful breath, basically all that master/slave horse-shit.
Dear men, on behalf of all the women with brains, I apologise. I'm sorry that these women who wrote this shit are giving your girlfriends these horrible ideas about you and what they should do with you. I'm sorry that this book pretty much describes men as disgusting monkeys who have not a speck of human emotion, and I'm sorry this shit is published. I know you're not like this, and even if some of you are, it's not because you're a man.
Why do we have dating books like this? Dating books with these ridiculous, shallow ideas with no understanding of the true foundations of a relationship? This is not even dating. This is like a last resort for women who are too damn stupid and paranoid to keep a relationship. And if you're a woman and you have trouble with a relationship, but you are not stupid, and not paranoid and have a pretty good idea of what a relationship requires, THEN YOU DON'T NEED THIS BOOK. You're already too good for this book! Move along, go read something else, don't waste your time feeling bad about yourself by reading this garbage. I might just be 19, but I think I have a pretty good idea of what a relationship is supposed to be. And it's not about making them want you, or being paranoid about how faithful they are, or anything else being glorified in these stupid books. It's about being equal, and loving each other, and growing together. It's like being best friends with romantic connotations. Would you ever manipulate a friend? Would you play this master/slave relationship or this paranoia game with a friend? I didn't think so. So why would you treat someone you claim to love like that?
And finally, isn't it funny how all these dating books are about men for women? Hey girls, here's how to control men! Love, some desperate single dumb ass. And everyone is totally fine with that. But I bet you my right arm and both my ass cheeks that if a man had written such a book about women (eg: Men, here's how to control your woman and make her want you: Play hard to get, chicks totally dig that shit) he would be deemed a sexist monster. I guarantee you.
I didn't finish this book. It made me angry. And it made my male co-workers angry. And I don't blame them a single bit. ...more
A nice little addition to my Neubauten collection, however more lyrics, interview snippets and notations on the song writing process of certain songsA nice little addition to my Neubauten collection, however more lyrics, interview snippets and notations on the song writing process of certain songs could have been included. Otherwise, it was enjoyable, even if it was teeny. ...more
Garbage. Absolutely horrifying, utter trash. A waste of trees, bookshelf space and precious, oh so very fucking precious braincells. Honestly, why isGarbage. Absolutely horrifying, utter trash. A waste of trees, bookshelf space and precious, oh so very fucking precious braincells. Honestly, why is this even published? Every single book store in Sydney is promoting this tripe, claiming it to be some kind of awesome romance novel. Are you absolutely shitting me? There is nothing romantic at all about this 'book'. And I don't mean the BDSM erotica themes, I mean the fifty levels of abuse in this friggin' thing.
In fact, that's what this book should be called. 'Fifty shades of absolute-fucking-insanity-and-abuse'. I know at least every one star reviewer has taken the title and created their own pun with it, but fuck it, I'm jumping on the bandwagon too.
Before I decided to read this (God help me), I kept seeing it everywhere I went, and the book store where I work was involved in the promotion among other book store chains. Typical. All me and my co-workers knew that it was smut, and a hell of a lot of it too. We even turned the book into a drinking game, and it goes as thus: Flip to a random page of the book. If it's something dirty, take a drink. I do not recommend this game, for one could die from alcohol poisoning within the first round. But if you're feeling adventurous... by all means. Glad I could be of service to your crazy party ideas.
But anyway, let's cut to my opinion of this abomination of literature. I decided to read it because it sounded like garbage, and I haven't written a review about garbage in too long. I owed something to the people who actually found me worthwhile to follow on Goodreads. So I decided hell, I'll review this.
Brain cells I will never, ever, EVER, get back.
This is literally the worst book I have ever read, and I say that about many books. But this is the worst book for a damn good reason. Let's talk about what I hated about this book. The bottom line is I hated absolutely everything. And I'm not saying that to be funny, I'm saying that out of all seriousness. I didn't find a single redeeming quality in this book. With the Hush, hush series we at least had the unintentional hilarity and the awesomeness of Marcie. In Twilight we had that chick who wanted to kill Bella and Tyler's van. Fifty shades of Grey has no such redeeming qualities. The characters are bland and merely props to set the stage for fucking weird BDSM-ing, and the plot was lost somewhere in the vagina of the author's wet dream. (Believe me, I feel weird for even typing these words.)
Not to mention, even though everyone already knows this, this was originally a Twilight fan fiction called 'Master of the universe' or some shitty, stupid title like that. How did such a thing get published? What, Twilight wasn't horrible and abuse-glorifying enough, so we had to kick it up a notch with publishing 'Master of the universe'? Are you people serious? Why is it that dumber and dumber things are getting published? Quality is almost non-existent. Fucking hell.
But before I rant on for hours about that, let's talk about the characters. Oh, I mean props. Yeah, props is more appropriate. Why? Because the characters, for all the personality they had may as well have been props.
Our first main prop is Ana, aka Bella Swan. The plain, virginal wallflower who thinks lowly of herself whilst everyone around her just seems to freaking worship her. She is also clumsy, reads books, has divorced parents, doesn't get along with her step-father, and is a brain dead moronic twat. Remind you of anyone? I wonder who you're thinking of. That is a humdinger, isn't it? I'm amazed how many women are not pissed off with her complete lack of sense and self-respect. She lets a man abuse her physically and emotionally, and allows him to satiate his ever-growing need to control her completely, passing it off as some cute obsessive habit. And even if she has doubts and runs away, she comes running back to him only seconds after. How are people not pissed off about this? Seriously? Not to mention she has zero personality, zero brain-cells, and zero common sense. Her character serves no purpose other than becoming some abusive asshole's sex toy.
And let's not forget our second main prop, Christian Grey, aka Edward Cullen, aka creepy-stalker-sociopathic-megalomaniacal-abusive-horrifying-asshole. The fact that he has fangirls in the real world has pretty much ruined my faith in mankind, and the new generation. Christian Gray pretty much pushes the limits that Edward Cullen, Patch, Daniel and others have yet to push due to their PG ratings, but fuck does Christian Grey push those fucking limits. He physically abuses Ana, and it somehow gets excused on the account that she was briefly aroused by it. SERIOUSLY PEOPLE?? SERIOUSLY?? Fuck my life. He also decides what she should eat, what she should wear, how she should act, speak, communicate with him, where she can and can't go or what she can and can't do, threatens her constantly even with physical violence, and the list goes on. I kid you not. He even has this set out as a contract (which by the way is repeated at least 5 times in the fucking book). Here's another example of how romantic this mother fucker is:
"I like the control it gives me, Anastasia. I want you to behave in a particular way, and if you don't, I shall punish you, and you will learn to behave the way I desire."
See? Romantic as freaking Mel Gibson. And by the way, the women who find this guy romantic need some serious therapy. Seriously. Harsh I know, but finding this guy romantic is like like excusing the actions of a child-molester because he has nice hair. This is not romantic. This is ABUSIVE and WRONG on sooooo many levels.
I don't know why they decided to plant this book in the general romance section. This is not romantic. And don't give me the 'IT'S MEANT TO BE BDSM, SO IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE ALL DOM VS SUB'. This goes way beyond the good ol' BDSM theme and just ends up treading into abusive territory. Christian takes these aspects into the relationship where he ends up not only controlling a woman sexually, but also emotionally, and deliberately moulding her into not just a sex partner, but an ideal of what he wants her to be and leaves her no room for her individuality and instead brands it as 'punishable'. That's not part of the BDSM jig. I'm sorry, but it's not. Why people even call this romantic is beyond me. I already mentioned the abusive aspects of this so called relationship, but other than that it was a relationship built on air. Since neither of the characters had any personality outside their sex drives, they had nothing that they saw in each other. They couldn't relate to each other, they didn't share any common interests, they didn't do any good for each other, outside the sexy stuff. And at the end they want to pass it off as though the two are actually in love? Give me a break. Watching people get swooped at by magpies is more romantic that this garbage.
The plot? There was no plot. Seriously, I could not find it. ANYWHERE. I searched and searched but alas, my search has left me unrewarded. Let me explain in a quick paragraph how this book goes:
'Girl meets some guy. Some guy is hot. Girl thinks some guy is hot. Hot some-guy shows up where girl who thinks some-guy is hot works. Hot some-guy asks out girl, takes her virginity. Stuff happens. Hot some-guy introduces girl (who thinks he's hot, by the way) to his BDSM sex dungeon, and the next half of the book is spent pondering whether or not girl (who thinks some-guy is hot, in case it wasn't mentioned enough in the book) wants to indulge in hot some-guy's fantasies. Also the hot some-guy takes complete control over girl (did I mention she thinks he's hot?) who seems to be totally okay with it. More stuff happens. Girl gets spanked too hard, breaks up with hot some-guy. The end.'
That's it. That's the whole book. And the whole 'Ohhh Christian has secrets' bullcrap in the blurb? Bullcrap. His secrets are mentioned in only 5% of the book and drive the plot nowhere. The book is only about how some asshole wants to control some stupid girl. The other characters are barely relevant. They were just more props whose only role was to be interested in the 'relationship' between Ana and Christian. They didn't seem to be interested in anything else. They could be buttering toast and thinking 'I wonder how hard Christian is fucking Ana right now.'
An absolute waste. The media might be promoting this tripe as the new hero of literature, but this is and always will be just another wart on the ass of literature, along with Twilight and all its' descendants. You know what they say, you can polish a turd, but it will still be a turd. ...more