The Deadman's dance is not a terrible book. However it also wasn't a very interesting book, at least to me. It probably mainly has to do with my lack...moreThe Deadman's dance is not a terrible book. However it also wasn't a very interesting book, at least to me. It probably mainly has to do with my lack of interest in Australian history but even a fictional retelling of the first settlement didn't keep my interest. Sadly, neither did the characters/ They were so unbelievable that it was hard to believe they were actually people. They didn't have much depth or personality. They seemed more like situations rather than actual people.
There is however one good thing about the book, and that is the writing. Scott has a gift for writing. His prose is almost perfect and the way he creates scenery, imagery, feeling and settings is ridiculously amazing. Though the prose was flowery, there was never a moment when the writing made me roll my eyes, unlike with other books that tend to use flowery prose. (less)
Just when you thought it couldn't get much worse when desperately single women who tired of the bondage slave they imprisoned for 20 years began publi...moreJust when you thought it couldn't get much worse when desperately single women who tired of the bondage slave they imprisoned for 20 years began publishing their Fifty shades of Grey fanfiction, this shit is published. It seems as time passes that the quality and integrity of literature, like aging scrotums and breasts, is going doooooooown towards the grouuuund.
-Review after having read part one-
Well first of all the synopsis is ridiculous. It just jumps from one ridiculous plot point to another. Boo-hoo, ugly girl, here comes the Hunger Games referen-FATHERDOINGSOMEKINDOFSCIENYTHINGYTHATFUCKSEVERYTHINGUPPPP-beast mannnnn, he's a hot guy tooooo-ADOPTED AUNT SOMEWHERE IN THERE, BECAUSE REASONS.
Something I find interesting about this book and the author, though mind you not in a kind fashion of the word 'interesting', is that she tries ever so hard to pass this book off as 'combating racism', even though the tactics she uses are about as useful to combating racism as Playboy magazines are for dead people. Not very.
One does not simply combat racism by using ridiculous premises which basically end up being racist themselves. I mean seriously, blackface? Coals? Black people being seen as monsters? White being the minority? Give me a break.
Since when is being a white supremacist apologist combating racism? The author, on her blog, pretty much stands up on her white shining pedestal and weeps 'Oh woe is me, I am white, and soon the world will be overrun by darker skinned people. Woe is me, I am white and in the minority'. Right. So all those many, many, MANY years of whites being assholes to people of other skin colours were just mumblings of your history teacher whose lessons you slept through. Racism has a history of progress (at least in some societies thus far). Turning the tables by switching the situations can't be done with coherent sense.
If you want to combat racism correctly, watch the movie AMERICAN HISTORY X. You might have heard of it. It stars Edward Norton, whom I'm sure more than one of you have masturbated to at some point. Yeah, he's awesome, isn't he? He sure is. A brilliant and dedicated actor. One of a fucking kind. Go and watch that movie he was in called American History X, and that's how you combat racism. The movie basically did it in a way that no class is shown as better than the other, but basically points out the flaws of the hatred both sides have for each other and ends up binding them together through this hatred, but not as people of different classes, rather as human beings. This book is just a silly attempt to be bold and anti-racist. But it's... so silly.
I kinda wish the book ends where the first part ends. Eden gets killed. The end. All is well.
Mrs. Foyt, I think you should take a nice long nap. Just... consider that before you write the second book of the series... and consider it again each time. Thanks. (less)
Hey girls! Are you shallow, desperate, immature, have no concept of reality or love, slightly sociopathic, and brain dead? Is it just too damn hard to...moreHey girls! Are you shallow, desperate, immature, have no concept of reality or love, slightly sociopathic, and brain dead? Is it just too damn hard to keep your man at your heel? Are you tired of yanking that chain all day long? Then 'The Rules' is just the book to feed your fantasies.
Honestly, what the shit kind of horrible person would write something like this? This book is sexist towards men AND women, absolutely shallow, ignores the real aspects of what a relationship is supposed to be built upon, and instead tells you that if you are a woman, you are supposed to have men at your feet. Because apparently only then will you have them loyal to you forever. Come on girls, grow up. Men are not as evil as your man-hating senses may perceive them to be.
What does this book teach you? It teaches women how to manipulate men in order to keep 'em following them around like dogs. And obviously this is a piece of cake in bizzaro-world where men have no brain in their head to think with. And if you do that, like play hard to get (cuz that's totes romantic) they will be crazy about you forever and ever and will never cheat on you, because you're making sure that you're the center of their universe. You're making sure that they fucking worship the ground you walk upon, that they wait by the phone all day waiting anxiously for the sound of your sweet, beautiful breath, basically all that master/slave horse-shit.
Dear men, on behalf of all the women with brains, I apologise. I'm sorry that these women who wrote this shit are giving your girlfriends these horrible ideas about you and what they should do with you. I'm sorry that this book pretty much describes men as disgusting monkeys who have not a speck of human emotion, and I'm sorry this shit is published. I know you're not like this, and even if some of you are, it's not because you're a man.
Why do we have dating books like this? Dating books with these ridiculous, shallow ideas with no understanding of the true foundations of a relationship? This is not even dating. This is like a last resort for women who are too damn stupid and paranoid to keep a relationship. And if you're a woman and you have trouble with a relationship, but you are not stupid, and not paranoid and have a pretty good idea of what a relationship requires, THEN YOU DON'T NEED THIS BOOK. You're already too good for this book! Move along, go read something else, don't waste your time feeling bad about yourself by reading this garbage. I might just be 19, but I think I have a pretty good idea of what a relationship is supposed to be. And it's not about making them want you, or being paranoid about how faithful they are, or anything else being glorified in these stupid books. It's about being equal, and loving each other, and growing together. It's like being best friends with romantic connotations. Would you ever manipulate a friend? Would you play this master/slave relationship or this paranoia game with a friend? I didn't think so. So why would you treat someone you claim to love like that?
And finally, isn't it funny how all these dating books are about men for women? Hey girls, here's how to control men! Love, some desperate single dumb ass. And everyone is totally fine with that. But I bet you my right arm and both my ass cheeks that if a man had written such a book about women (eg: Men, here's how to control your woman and make her want you: Play hard to get, chicks totally dig that shit) he would be deemed a sexist monster. I guarantee you.
I didn't finish this book. It made me angry. And it made my male co-workers angry. And I don't blame them a single bit. (less)
A nice little addition to my Neubauten collection, however more lyrics, interview snippets and notations on the song writing process of certain songs...moreA nice little addition to my Neubauten collection, however more lyrics, interview snippets and notations on the song writing process of certain songs could have been included. Otherwise, it was enjoyable, even if it was teeny. (less)
Garbage. Absolutely horrifying, utter trash. A waste of trees, bookshelf space and precious, oh so very fucking precious braincells. Honestly, why is...moreGarbage. Absolutely horrifying, utter trash. A waste of trees, bookshelf space and precious, oh so very fucking precious braincells. Honestly, why is this even published? Every single book store in Sydney is promoting this tripe, claiming it to be some kind of awesome romance novel. Are you absolutely shitting me? There is nothing romantic at all about this 'book'. And I don't mean the BDSM erotica themes, I mean the fifty levels of abuse in this friggin' thing.
In fact, that's what this book should be called. 'Fifty shades of absolute-fucking-insanity-and-abuse'. I know at least every one star reviewer has taken the title and created their own pun with it, but fuck it, I'm jumping on the bandwagon too.
Before I decided to read this (God help me), I kept seeing it everywhere I went, and the book store where I work was involved in the promotion among other book store chains. Typical. All me and my co-workers knew that it was smut, and a hell of a lot of it too. We even turned the book into a drinking game, and it goes as thus: Flip to a random page of the book. If it's something dirty, take a drink. I do not recommend this game, for one could die from alcohol poisoning within the first round. But if you're feeling adventurous... by all means. Glad I could be of service to your crazy party ideas.
But anyway, let's cut to my opinion of this abomination of literature. I decided to read it because it sounded like garbage, and I haven't written a review about garbage in too long. I owed something to the people who actually found me worthwhile to follow on Goodreads. So I decided hell, I'll review this.
Brain cells I will never, ever, EVER, get back.
This is literally the worst book I have ever read, and I say that about many books. But this is the worst book for a damn good reason. Let's talk about what I hated about this book. The bottom line is I hated absolutely everything. And I'm not saying that to be funny, I'm saying that out of all seriousness. I didn't find a single redeeming quality in this book. With the Hush, hush series we at least had the unintentional hilarity and the awesomeness of Marcie. In Twilight we had that chick who wanted to kill Bella and Tyler's van. Fifty shades of Grey has no such redeeming qualities. The characters are bland and merely props to set the stage for fucking weird BDSM-ing, and the plot was lost somewhere in the vagina of the author's wet dream. (Believe me, I feel weird for even typing these words.)
Not to mention, even though everyone already knows this, this was originally a Twilight fan fiction called 'Master of the universe' or some shitty, stupid title like that. How did such a thing get published? What, Twilight wasn't horrible and abuse-glorifying enough, so we had to kick it up a notch with publishing 'Master of the universe'? Are you people serious? Why is it that dumber and dumber things are getting published? Quality is almost non-existent. Fucking hell.
But before I rant on for hours about that, let's talk about the characters. Oh, I mean props. Yeah, props is more appropriate. Why? Because the characters, for all the personality they had may as well have been props.
Our first main prop is Ana, aka Bella Swan. The plain, virginal wallflower who thinks lowly of herself whilst everyone around her just seems to freaking worship her. She is also clumsy, reads books, has divorced parents, doesn't get along with her step-father, and is a brain dead moronic twat. Remind you of anyone? I wonder who you're thinking of. That is a humdinger, isn't it? I'm amazed how many women are not pissed off with her complete lack of sense and self-respect. She lets a man abuse her physically and emotionally, and allows him to satiate his ever-growing need to control her completely, passing it off as some cute obsessive habit. And even if she has doubts and runs away, she comes running back to him only seconds after. How are people not pissed off about this? Seriously? Not to mention she has zero personality, zero brain-cells, and zero common sense. Her character serves no purpose other than becoming some abusive asshole's sex toy.
And let's not forget our second main prop, Christian Grey, aka Edward Cullen, aka creepy-stalker-sociopathic-megalomaniacal-abusive-horrifying-asshole. The fact that he has fangirls in the real world has pretty much ruined my faith in mankind, and the new generation. Christian Gray pretty much pushes the limits that Edward Cullen, Patch, Daniel and others have yet to push due to their PG ratings, but fuck does Christian Grey push those fucking limits. He physically abuses Ana, and it somehow gets excused on the account that she was briefly aroused by it. SERIOUSLY PEOPLE?? SERIOUSLY?? Fuck my life. He also decides what she should eat, what she should wear, how she should act, speak, communicate with him, where she can and can't go or what she can and can't do, threatens her constantly even with physical violence, and the list goes on. I kid you not. He even has this set out as a contract (which by the way is repeated at least 5 times in the fucking book). Here's another example of how romantic this mother fucker is:
"I like the control it gives me, Anastasia. I want you to behave in a particular way, and if you don't, I shall punish you, and you will learn to behave the way I desire."
See? Romantic as freaking Mel Gibson. And by the way, the women who find this guy romantic need some serious therapy. Seriously. Harsh I know, but finding this guy romantic is like like excusing the actions of a child-molester because he has nice hair. This is not romantic. This is ABUSIVE and WRONG on sooooo many levels.
I don't know why they decided to plant this book in the general romance section. This is not romantic. And don't give me the 'IT'S MEANT TO BE BDSM, SO IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE ALL DOM VS SUB'. This goes way beyond the good ol' BDSM theme and just ends up treading into abusive territory. Christian takes these aspects into the relationship where he ends up not only controlling a woman sexually, but also emotionally, and deliberately moulding her into not just a sex partner, but an ideal of what he wants her to be and leaves her no room for her individuality and instead brands it as 'punishable'. That's not part of the BDSM jig. I'm sorry, but it's not. Why people even call this romantic is beyond me. I already mentioned the abusive aspects of this so called relationship, but other than that it was a relationship built on air. Since neither of the characters had any personality outside their sex drives, they had nothing that they saw in each other. They couldn't relate to each other, they didn't share any common interests, they didn't do any good for each other, outside the sexy stuff. And at the end they want to pass it off as though the two are actually in love? Give me a break. Watching people get swooped at by magpies is more romantic that this garbage.
The plot? There was no plot. Seriously, I could not find it. ANYWHERE. I searched and searched but alas, my search has left me unrewarded. Let me explain in a quick paragraph how this book goes:
'Girl meets some guy. Some guy is hot. Girl thinks some guy is hot. Hot some-guy shows up where girl who thinks some-guy is hot works. Hot some-guy asks out girl, takes her virginity. Stuff happens. Hot some-guy introduces girl (who thinks he's hot, by the way) to his BDSM sex dungeon, and the next half of the book is spent pondering whether or not girl (who thinks some-guy is hot, in case it wasn't mentioned enough in the book) wants to indulge in hot some-guy's fantasies. Also the hot some-guy takes complete control over girl (did I mention she thinks he's hot?) who seems to be totally okay with it. More stuff happens. Girl gets spanked too hard, breaks up with hot some-guy. The end.'
That's it. That's the whole book. And the whole 'Ohhh Christian has secrets' bullcrap in the blurb? Bullcrap. His secrets are mentioned in only 5% of the book and drive the plot nowhere. The book is only about how some asshole wants to control some stupid girl. The other characters are barely relevant. They were just more props whose only role was to be interested in the 'relationship' between Ana and Christian. They didn't seem to be interested in anything else. They could be buttering toast and thinking 'I wonder how hard Christian is fucking Ana right now.'
An absolute waste. The media might be promoting this tripe as the new hero of literature, but this is and always will be just another wart on the ass of literature, along with Twilight and all its' descendants. You know what they say, you can polish a turd, but it will still be a turd. (less)
I wish I read this book when I was 16. That was back when I was still in regular contact with a then-close friend of mine who also suffered anorexia a...moreI wish I read this book when I was 16. That was back when I was still in regular contact with a then-close friend of mine who also suffered anorexia and eventually became bulimic. I say I wish I read this book at 16 because I'm pretty sure that if I had, I would have been a bit more understanding of what she was going through. I'm not saying I understand anorexia perfectly now, because quite obviously I don't, and probably can't. But there's one thing I do know and understand, and that is that anorexia is one fucking cruel creature.
I still wish I could have read this book when I was 16, when I was a naive little shit and thought anorexia was just a silly choice made by a girl under pressure. It's not. I thought that making her promise me that she would eat would work out fine and that it was an easy thing to do. And quite honestly, I feel ashamed of myself, because not only was that stupid, it led to a pretty bad fight during which I hurt her pretty badly. I wish, oh how I wish, I could have read this when I was still close to her. Because if I had read this book back then, I might have been able to be there for her better. And now I don't know if I can still do that.
I mention this because this book strongly reminded me of my friend. I saw a lot of her in Lia. But other than how it affected me personally, this book was actually an interesting read. Lia was one of the best voices I've read in a while. She actually had some individuality to her point of view, and she didn't sound like any other teenage girl voice pattern that too many YA authors tend to use. One thing that did annoy me was the constant use of striked through texts. I know it's supposed to represent something in this book, but after about 30 uses it kind of gets old.
I think the most powerful scene in this book, and which in my opinion was the perfect description of what anorexia will create, is when Lia comes to realise that she will never be skinny enough, that she will never be satisfied at 65 pounds, or 60, or 55, until that scale reaches 0. It was almost scary to read. I wonder if my friend felt the same way. She would always tell me she was never skinny enough.
I obviously recommend this book. It doesn't exactly have an action packed plot, it's more like a journey through a girl's struggle with anorexia (obviously, but it's what drives all the events). Even the ending was great and made perfect sense to me. I can't really explain how without spoiling anything, so just read the damn book.
Dear 16 year old self, you should have read this book. Damn you. (less)
One of the major problems among many others with this book is that it feels as though the premise of this book died within the first chapter, and the...moreOne of the major problems among many others with this book is that it feels as though the premise of this book died within the first chapter, and the rest of the book was spent dragging around said corpse of premise. Why did the premise end up dead so soon? Because it really wasn't taken care of very well. It takes good plot structure to pull off a premise, and that was unfortunately not being done.
The book didn't seem so sure what to do with itself. It was as though it tried to be in more than one place at the same time. The fact that there was such a big mix of events that took up too much space and stalled far too long for the plot was what made the book such a confusing mess. It might have promised some action and fantasy, but before that, let's have some romance here, some brooding here, some whining there, and OH! LOVE TRIANGLE! and random evil here, now they're dating, now her best friend is jealous, etc. The blurb promised a lot of fantasy, a kidnapping of a close friend and the race to save said close friend, but that plot wasn't even met halfway through the book. Before that we have Donna whining about having magic powers and beautiful markings on her arms and meeting Xan who broods a little and has scars on his back and Donna's best friend is jealous of Xan, and then stuff happens. I can understand wanting to have some events leading up to the promised plot points, however taking up more than half a book and still not meeting the promised plot is wasted space and a waste of time.
Besides wasting space with it's random sequences of unimportant events, the plot structure felt more like a pressed-for-time ramble rather than a story. I mean, in the first 14 pages Donna bitches, randomly shoves rants on magic in there, then bitches some more, goes to a party with her friend, then meets a hit guy whom she feels intrigued by. 14 FUCKING PAGES! “Oh woe is me. I have magic powers by the way. Oh, and I have magic scars on my arms. Woe is me. And everyone hates me. My friend is nice. Woe is me. He dragged me to a party full of people that hate me, by the way. I’m sad. Oh, there’s a guy. He’s hot.”
Also, what was up with the random switches to Donna's diary in first person? The book is told from THIRD person. And it already delves deep enough into Donna's (lack of) mind. Why do we need the diary? You can include diary entries from, let’s say a secondary character with a mystery for example, but when you’re showing us excerpts from the diary of the main character, who the story is centered on and whose diary doesn’t delve into anything deeper than what third person has presented us with in this book, it doesn’t work well.
The writing in this book was messy and borderline ridiculous. The descriptions were silly, unoriginal and repetitive as hell. How many times have I have to read about eyes sliding or looks flashing? I think I counted at least more than ten times for each. Just say 'he looked' or 'she looked' once in a while. You don't need to make a simple look sound fancy-ass. And there was too much description that we didn't need. Why should I care if Navin’s usual position is a slouch? Besides, everyone slouches on a bean bag chair. And why should I care if Navin watches Charmed for the hot chicks? Get ON WITH IT. Also some of the descriptions were down-right hilarious. This particular description made me laugh out loud:
“I’ll call you,” he threw over his shoulder.
HOW CAN YOU THROW A SENTENCE OVER YOUR SHOULDER?? I mean I know the guy has magic powers but HUH??
“Sorry I’m late” His voice was breathless, as though he had been hurrying. Oh I’m sorry, I couldn’t register that he was in a hurry from the fact that he apologized for being late and being breathless at the same time.
Now onto the... characters...
Donna is someone I'd very much like to punch. She has something that every girl who grew up watching Sailor Moon and Charmed wishes they had: magic powers. And what does she do? Bitches. So what if you're different? YOU HAVE MAGIC POWERS. You can do so much! You have so much freedom to do really awesome stuff! And she never really explains why her magic powers are so terrible. Oh right, apparently because it makes her 'different'. So? You have magic powers!!!
And also, why is Donna so desperate to fit in? Everyone treats her like shit except for Navin, and yet she still wants to fit in. Why? Why does she want to fit in with a bunch of people that are shallow enough to pick on someone because they have pretty scars? And also, these people are the lamest bullies on the planet with the worst insults. How can she be sad instead of laughing her ass off at them?
Speaking of scars, her whole issue with her scars is downright offensive. Her scars are beautiful, 'intricate' patters with occasional silver. That's nothing you hide, that's something you show off proudly. In real life you'd have people flocking around you going 'Holy shit, where did you get that done?' and not 'Oh my gawd you freak, you have like, pretty markings. We don't like you anymore.' Let me tell you something Donna: Thanks to my fucked up hormones, I have a skin condition on my back that is only common in teenage males. In other words one patch on my upper back is a much darker shade of skin covered in thick black hair. In further other words, I have partially a man's back. Now THAT'S something I can't show in public. THAT'S something I have the right to be embarrassed about. If instead of my patch of male back I had pretty intricate patterns I'd show it off when I can get the chance. Because it's something that isn't looked upon as disgusting. Your scars are PRETTY TATTOOS, not freaking self inflicted cuts or burns or A MALE'S BACK.
And what in the heck was up with Navin? "Oh hai Donna. I'm your best friend and I know that everyone hates you and I feel your pain girl. Oh by the way, the people who hate you are throwing a party and I'm invited and you're coming with me even though it would be an incredibly awkward and depressing situation but anyway, I'd get my image boosted so it's all good. OH! I see you have a potential boyfriend. OH! I see you have secrets. I'm going to start stalking you now. Kaythanksbye." Let's just say I'm glad he gets kidnapped. I hope the creep stays kidnapped.
I don't have much to say for Xan other than the fact that I'm impressed with his apparent ability to throw sentences at people. Other than that he was very boring and tepid.
I didn't finish this book because I no longer gave a damn about it. The structure was a mess, and the writing made the whole experience even more unbearable. It's also extremely unoriginal, just like it's fellow YA paranormal romance cousins. Nothing we haven't seen before, and nothing that ever seems to be done well anymore. (less)
DO NOT READ THIS BOOK IF YOU LOVE ANIMALS. I DON'T CARE HOW HORNY YOU ARE, DO NOT READ THIS BOOK IF YOU LOVE ANIMALS.
This book was freaking weird. An...moreDO NOT READ THIS BOOK IF YOU LOVE ANIMALS. I DON'T CARE HOW HORNY YOU ARE, DO NOT READ THIS BOOK IF YOU LOVE ANIMALS.
This book was freaking weird. And not weird in a good way. Anne Rice, though I have a sort of love/hate relationship with her, has a sick and twisted mind. It's a very uncomfortable place to be in. I didn't read this because it was porn. I get bored of porn easily. I read this because I heard about how freakingly strange this was, and this was Anne Rice as well. I didn't expect greatness, I just expected weirdness. And it had weirdness, trust me. But after a certain scene I couldn't stand anymore sick weirdness. Unfortunately a cat gets involved. That's all I'm going to say.
Yeah, don't read this book if you love animals, especially cats. Trust me. (less)
Evernight is set in a very Vampire Knight setting, and is about a girl who is secretly a vampire (yeah right) who falls in love with a boring, uninter...moreEvernight is set in a very Vampire Knight setting, and is about a girl who is secretly a vampire (yeah right) who falls in love with a boring, uninteresting, controlling Romeo-wannabe and that's it.
Yes, that's it. There is no plot other than that.
This book managed to meet all of my expectations: It blew.
Now some of you may ask me why I bothered reading a book that I knew I wouldn’t like, right? Well the answer is simple: I’m a masochist. I’m somebody who faps over how terrible books are, and who enjoys bitching about them later on and warning people about how terrible this book really is.
The so called romance was of course once again bland, not to mention disgusting. Bianca has ONE conversation with Lucas about running away and changing her mind and soon after begins to gush over him because he’s so handsome and pretty and bla bla fucking bla. Bianca and Lucas have nothing in common, neither of them have personalities (Oh wait, they are both clichéd and love old movies and books because the author tried to make her teens unique just like any other YA author these days. You’re not fooling anybody, kids!), and both have no reason to love each other than the fact that Bianca is pretty and Lucas is hot.
Lucas is a lame asshole who apparently thinks he has the right to decide what’s good and what isn’t for Bianca. You do not stalk a girl because you think she can’t realize when she is in danger and when she isn’t, and you don’t treat her like she’s your property. You do not think you know better than her and the people who raised her, and you don't insult her family when you don't know squat about them. You do not 'protect' her from her own friends, and when she tells you she's okay, she's not too stupid to realize she isn't. Because believe it or not, she's actually right for once.
And the funny thing is, Bianca actually manages to realize that he is doing said things. She actually tells him ‘Look, don’t be so protective, just be there.’ which was a surprise. I didn’t expect that much brains from Bianca. But her whole lust for Lucas made no sense.
And of course like all good YA romances we have the third love interest hunk guy who is just there to be the other love interest, and his name is BALTHAZAR. And guess what? He's another surfer dude. But, like Jacob from Twilight and Tony from Infinite days, he was a nice guy. Annoying sometimes and devoid of unique characteristics, but nice. He was someone who deserved to be the main love interest. He was kind, treated Bianca with nothing but respect, and was never cruel to her. But Bianca for some reason doesn’t deem him worthy enough to make out with. But Bianca just uses him as a rebound for Lucas when she and Lucas have a sort of falling out, which was disgusting of her. Also he kinda disappeared for a long time. I don't remember why. I guess Claudia Gray lost interest in him.
Now Bianca wasn't the worst YA heroine I have ever had to be in the mind of. Yes, she is stupid and needy and whiny and judgmental. But she doesn't find the controlling things that Lucas does romantic at all. She also doesn't view sex as sinful or terrible, which was also a surprise. But even those pros about her character aren't enough to make her likable or even a good character. She's still just a one dimensional silly little girl. In fact, a box of tissues has more complexity than any of these characters.
A lot of the book felt as though the author didn't bother thinking through any of her characters, or even the story itself. It was as though she just went 'Okay, uh... shit, uhm... Bianca is like... oh Lucas! She's gonna be in love with Lucas. He's gonna be nice and... uh oh, they fight later on! Yes they do! Okay, uhm... more drama. Oh, random surfer guy! I just loved Evermore's surfer guy character! Alright, in he goes! Uhm... so like, Bianca is in love with Lucas... uh... conflict! Bianca is, like a vampire... and... uh... Lucas.... doesn't like that... but everything is okay later!' and it just tends to continue like that. The plot is only focused on the drama of the so called 'love' story. Everything else is sort of thrown in randomly to the point that I just couldn't care anymore.
As for the plot twists, they blew harder. They were so ridiculous. Maybe it would have helped if the vampires were ACTUALLY VAMPIRES. But like every other YA vampire book, this author didn't bother doing anything with vampires or even doing the slightest bit of research. Bianca is a vampire. Ooooh dramatic.
And don't bitch at me for not censoring spoilers. You know why I didn't? Well, let me tell you something about the series. The publishers of Evernight and the sequels are not the brightest bulbs when it comes to marketing strategies. What am I talking about, you say? I'll tell you:
EVERY BLURB OF EVERY EVERNIGHT BOOK REVEALS WHAT HAS HAPPENED IN THE PREVIOUS BOOK. ALL THE PLOT TWISTS ARE ALREADY REVEALED ON THE BLURB OF THE NEXT BOOK.
I already knew Bianca was a vampire and that Lucas was a vampire hunter before I read this because I heard of the blurb of the second book. Yeah, not very clever of the author or the publishers. But even without that the plot twists would have been ineffective. They were just so silly and not at all developed. Drama because of the revelation doesn't count as development.
Evernight, despite the fact that it didn't suffer from as many flaws as so many other YA books out there, is still just a tacky, overly-dramatic teen angst story thrown into a school of vampire pussies that glorifies stupid teen lust as being true wuv. There is nothing original about the concept. It's pretty much a Twilighted version of Vampire Knight, which is basically about the same thing, except done by an author who knew how to research and actually develop her characters and vampires.
And yes, I do unfortunately own a copy of the book. But it was only 2 dollars down at a local Vinnies store, and I hate reading books online. But Evernight wont get a spot in my bookshelf. Ever. It doesn't even deserve a spot in my bookshelf. But it does make a good coaster for my drink. (less)
EDIT: 16/9/2012 I edited this review just a bit. It's an old review but I think I could have worded some things a little better.
There were many Parano...moreEDIT: 16/9/2012 I edited this review just a bit. It's an old review but I think I could have worded some things a little better.
There were many Paranormal YA series where I couldn't possibly continue reading after the first book, but the Hush, Hush series is special. Despite the fact that yes, it is merely another abuse-glorifying panty-wetter, the unintentional hilarity just makes the books so much fun to read (in a twisted masochistic kinda way).
Crescendo is like a bright shining star of heaven compared to Hush, hush, because Crescendo gave me a favourite character, who is none other than Marcie Miller, the bitch who's out to get Nora. And anyone who's out to get Nora is a pal of mine. I also give Crescendo props for giving me an ending that assured some much needed ass kicking of Nora and Patch. I mean come on, apparently Patch doesn't screw Nora up enough, we may as well give them a run for their money big time, right? After dragging myself through that bullshit of a book, that ending actually made me very, very happy.
But other than that, this book was still pretty freaking bad. Though not as unbearable to read as the first 'book', it was still a flaming piece of shit.
I will give everyone a big piece of advice, and I must insist that you take it: DO NOT GET LOVE ADVICE FROM THIS BOOK.
Crescendo teaches girls that if their boyfriend doesn't have a 24/7 arousal in his meat-sword as soon as he catches sight of her, it OBVIOUSLY must mean that he doesn't love her. Nora dumps Patch for this reason. I kid you not. Nora breaks up with Patch because she claims 'he doesn't feel it when she kisses him' even though Patch says it affects him emotionally (also he kinda can't 'feel it' because lust is a sin according to God, so it would get him in big doggy doo). But that apparently isn't enough for her so in a matter of ten seconds she conveniently compiles a list of all the things that she can't do with Patch around and dumps him (a list of differences which are never brought up again later in the story).
Not too bad so far, right? I mean yeah, she's a twat who's missing at least three quarters of her brain, but at least she's rid of that douche bag, right? RIGHT?
Not really. He's still there. We still have to read about him.
After she dumps him she spends 80% having a tantrum about the break-up and oh how she misses him and oh how she hates him, but misses him, but hates him, and so on. And of course, like any moron missing most of their brain, she claims she should NEVUR have broken up with Patch because he's just so... darn... special. Well my darling dearest, if you don't want to dump him, then STOP dumping him! Just save us the pain from being dragged around your angst for 100 fucking pages and run on back to your potential rapist. See if we care if you end up dead in the forest with a cactus in your anus.
I also couldn't help but notice that Becca Fitzpatrick seems to have had a change of heart about how she was going to write Patch in this book. Because for most of it she made Patch out to look like the top bastard of the bastard-Mafia and we should all feel sorry for Nora because she's being 'used and cheated on'. Well, where in the name of buggery was all of this in the first fucking book, when Patch really was the bastard of Scumville who sexually harassed her, intimidated her, emotionally and mentally AND sexually abused her? But in Becca-Fitzpatrickland, the worst thing Patch ever did to Nora was kissing Marcie. This is why no one takes you seriously, Fitzpatrick. Absolutely no one.
You thought Edward Cullen was a creep, watching Bella sleep? Patch invades Nora's dreams when they've broken up for the fifteenth time to make-out with her. What a swell guy, amirite? Even Nora found it wrong. That's gotta say something. If Nora, and I do stress that I am talking about NORA, finds Patch's behaviour alarming, THAT'S ONE FUCK OF AN INDICATOR THAT THERE IS SOMETHING NOT RIGHT. He also purposely walks in on a make-out session between her and Scott -cough- or Jacob -cough cough- and punches the poor bastard square in the face despite Nora screaming at the top of her lungs. Also, keeping her 'father's' ring when she asked for it back after the breakup? Not cool. She may have broken up with you for stupid reasons, but you don't keep her dead father's ring when you're not the person she is closest to anymore.
As mentioned before, I liked Marcie. Marcie was the only thing keeping me sane throughout the whole book. As I said in my review of Hush, hush, I support anyone tormenting Nora. I thought she was quite a badass, though it did piss me off that she was called a 'ho'. Just because she isn't afraid to express her sexuality, it doesn't make her a 'ho'. But that's another story.
I didn't care much for Scott. He was obviously the typical third-wheel Jacob of this New moon copy, the guy who the girl uses to get back at the guy she is actually in love with. Though he had some interesting aspects to him, the fact that he was just the typical third wheel love interest prevented him from achieving both uniqueness and greatness. Also he just seemed like a recycled Elliot from the first book.
Nora just wont stop being whiny and stupid. Plus, she stalks another guy. And she breaks into other people's homes and steals other people's stuff. How she is not already in a straight-jacket is beyond me. And as usual, she is also a hypocrite and one hell of a parasite. She uses Scott to get back at Patch and dares to preach how she is committed to a relationship when she is the one running from a relationship at the first signs of trouble. She manages to avoid serious jail time, and also somehow gets guys left, right and centre. Oh what a strange universe this is.
But whatever, I honestly didn't care about her and Patch breaking up. The two are terrible for each other anyway. Nora can't live with him or without him, and Patch is psycho when she's around and when she isn't. Just move one to a different planet from the other and let them find someone else. If Nora had to end up with someone, it should have been Vee. Though Vee isn't that much smarter than Nora, the two mirror each other perfectly. They share the same insanity, interests, and stupidity. Together, they could make history. Plus that would have been hilarious to see.
I would also like to point out that the archangels are stupid. Okay, like I said before, love and lust are totally mixed up in this book. It makes no sense that angels get sent to hell for falling in love with humans. 'Consorting with mortals' does not mean falling in love with mortals, it means wanting to have sex with mortals. I don't believe in God or Jesus or even angels, but I don't expect either of them to think of love as being a sin (if you're straight). I know lust is, apparently, and okay. Let's consider that. I mean, technically the archangels in this book consider lust a sin and something you get sent to hell for. Yet there are so many moments that they don't seem to notice. Patch gets away with making out with Nora, sexually harassing her in the first book, and even getting hit on by Marcie. But the archangels still continue to sit up there, twiddling their thumbs, act all threatening and 'wait for Patch to slip up'. Please. If Patch can get away with shit like that, he wouldn't have a problem with getting it on with Nora, therefore he wouldn't even have a problem and they can both live happily ever after, bla bla bla.
The plot was mostly about Nora bitching about not being with Patch while some random drama occurs. The plot twists felt very soap opera-ish to me. Therefore they didn't affect me at all. They were more funny than shocking. But the again Becca fails at shock value and plot twists. In fact she fails at drawing any emotion out of the reader. Her writing is very noobish, with weird descriptions to over dramatic expressions of sorrow and love. They made me want to gag. Like Hush, hush, this book tried but failed to make me feel anything for it other than disgust and the occasional laughs (and not the good kind). I didn't care for anything that happened in this book. (less)