Holy whatthefuckery, you guys! Hold on to your bizarro butts, because Andrew Hilbert is about to bicycle-kick the sense out of you.
Forced off the forHoly whatthefuckery, you guys! Hold on to your bizarro butts, because Andrew Hilbert is about to bicycle-kick the sense out of you.
Forced off the force when he took a gunshot to the face, Bangface opened his own business as a private dick. In the midst of attempting to track down his attacker, a client walks in to his office spouting nonsense about a strange glory hole that leaves psychedelic scarring on his wiener, and you better buckle the fuck up cause shit's gonna get crazy, fast! ...more
3/22/16 - 3/23/16 4 Stars - Strongly Recommended, mostly because I have a pretty hard core author crush on Bud and fall in love with everything he ever3/22/16 - 3/23/16 4 Stars - Strongly Recommended, mostly because I have a pretty hard core author crush on Bud and fall in love with everything he ever writes ever Pages: 133 Publisher: Artistically Declined Press Released: April 2016 (?)
When you fall in love, you're bound to do some stupid, fucked up shit. That's a fact, Jack. The love drug is a strong one and it messes with our minds something fierce. We start saying and doing things we don't mean. shit we never thought we'd do or say, all for the love of someone we suddenly cannot imagine being without. Though, before we met them two months ago, two weeks ago, fuck it, two DAYS ago, we were getting by just fine without them. It's amazing what love does to us.
None of us are immune. Hell, even I think about some of the weird crap I've done when I'd fallen in love and yeah, sure, I have a laugh at it now, but at the time, I was like a woman possessed. I've put myself out there and made myself available in ways I'd never thought I would. I've put up with shit I had sworn I would always walk away from. But when love hops into the driver's seat, it takes control of your emotions. It overrides your sense of reason. It lights fire to your guts and squeezes on your heart muscles so fucking hard and makes your entire being hum with crazy electricity.
And for a few of us, that love-drug-crazy-electrical-high fucks with our minds so goddamn much that we're actually seriously willing to kill anyone who might try to get in the way of it.
In his latest novella, Bud Smith does a frighteningly awesome job portraying the numbing desperation one suffers when in the grips of such a devastatingly naive love through his protagonist Kody - a teenage kid who breaks out of a home for troubled-youth and into his girlfriend's house - when he hears Tella's parents are about to ship her off to Italy in what he believes is an attempt to keep them apart.
The book's a gore fest from the start, with Kody climbing down from a water tower and interrupting spaghetti time by shooting Tella's parents, leaving them for dead at the dinner table as he grabs her and takes off for an impromptu tour of the country. Bud ushers us along at break neck speeds as the two of them lie, steal, and struggle to keep their love afloat under the shadow of what Kody's just done.
You gotta love Kody's chops. This kid shows no remorse. He's certain that he's done what's necessary and you get the feeling he's not the type to dwell too much on the past. Nor one to care much about consequences. But he's not stupid, either. Though he's all about living in the present, he's extremely sensitive to the situation they are in and keeps a close eye on Tella.
The only way for us to experience Tella is through Kody's eyes, which are sometimes clouded and unreliable. We know she keeps mentioning to him that she wishes he hadn't killed her mom but doesn't otherwise seem too worked up over the whole my-boyfriend-just-murdered-my-parents thing. It could be that Kody is just playing it down, or it could be that Tella's similarly numb. The two are in love and they're together, and well, they can do just about anything. Except, the longer they're on the road, the more they test each other within the claustrophobic limits of the car, and the more Kody begins to put them at risk with his crazy antics. As they continue their streak across the country in an attempt to stay ahead of the police, the trail of blood and gristle they leave behind them grows.
It's a toxic, twisted novel of impossible redemption. The writing is fierce, the dialogue is quirky, and Bud's foot never lets up off the gas.
(Side note: I jotted down some notes as I read the book, assuming that when I was ready to write the review I would remember what I meant by them, but for the life of me I cannot remember what I meant by this one:
bird, fish, zoo animals = free, caged, suicidal
any insight into my own weird insight would be greatly appreciated!)...more
This might be one of those books where you look at the cover, read the jacket copy, and think "eehhhhh.." But don't pass it up so quickly. Within itsThis might be one of those books where you look at the cover, read the jacket copy, and think "eehhhhh.." But don't pass it up so quickly. Within its pages, Michael Landweber gives us an inside peek at what one teenager will do when time, and the world around him, suddenly stops dead in its tracks.
Duck's mother just died after battling brain cancer. Trying to outrun his emotions, he's hightailing it up the street with REM blasting through his earbuds and doesn't hear the car trying to beat the light as he steps off the curb. But the driver never hits the breaks, and the impact never comes. Duck looks up - at a world that is suddenly, impossibly, frozen in place.
As the only moving, living, human being, who would you go visit first? What wrongs might you attempt to right (or visa versa)? How would you pass the time in a world where time is no longer passing for anyone....? And how would you go about trying to get the world, and everyone in it, started back up again?
As Duck attempts to interact with this world of human manikins in an attempt to understand what's happening - eating other peoples' food right off their plates, walking through raindrops that are suspended midfall, visiting his friends and father in the hopes that one of them might be moving too, and yes, ok, detouring through a girl's dormitory bathroom or two - he also takes some time to break the fourth wall and gives us, the reader, some tips on how to survive a frozen world should we ever find ourselves in his situation.
Michael Landweber strikes the perfect balance between the humorous and the bittersweet, hooking me quickly and keeping me turning page after page until I ran out of pages to turn. ...more
MARIGOLD is a series of sad, heart-clutching, suicidal vignettes. I wanted so badly to reach inside the pages and give the narrator a hug. Or maybe aMARIGOLD is a series of sad, heart-clutching, suicidal vignettes. I wanted so badly to reach inside the pages and give the narrator a hug. Or maybe a smack across the face. And then a hug.
I was extremely hesitant to request this book from the publisher, yet I couldn't ignore the book-club appeal because holy-cow-would-you-look-at-all-thI was extremely hesitant to request this book from the publisher, yet I couldn't ignore the book-club appeal because holy-cow-would-you-look-at-all-the-stars-people-are-throwing-at-it. Though it sounded likes something I could absolutely sink my teeth into it, it was setting off every one of my warning bells before I even cracked it open, and for good reason. Hindsight. What a bitch, eh?
Sadly disappointing, Paper Tigers was neither haunting nor hypnotizing. I was expecting a chilling and spine tingling "haunted house" story, but instead all I got was a big ole steaming pile of whatthefuckery. Damien Angelica Walters kept me at an arms length, her writing both cold and disengaging. I couldn't get into, no matter how hard I tried. ...more