This is a wonderful book to give clinicians (or anyone else) an easy to understand overview of sex therapy. I'll be rereading this and referring to itThis is a wonderful book to give clinicians (or anyone else) an easy to understand overview of sex therapy. I'll be rereading this and referring to it regularly....more
This book raised some important ideas- namely what is social work? Is social work missing out on it's mission when so many social workers are becomingThis book raised some important ideas- namely what is social work? Is social work missing out on it's mission when so many social workers are becoming therapists?
However, I think the book was far too binary for me. It took a fairly skeptical view on therapy- as if individual problems will be solved if we address social problems. Will it help? Absolutely. Will it mean people won't still benefit from private therapy? NO.
I think many therapists who are social workers still do macro work- often on their own time because of the flexibility that private practice provides them....more
Really great book for learning to understand and be comfortable with your own sexuality. Our culture has so many misconceptions about sexuality that iReally great book for learning to understand and be comfortable with your own sexuality. Our culture has so many misconceptions about sexuality that it is difficult to not internalize them. This book is a nice balance of science and practicality that makes it interesting and educational....more
I think Planted is useful in a couple of ways. First, it is useful for those LDS members who find themselves teeUp front- I really enjoyed this book.
I think Planted is useful in a couple of ways. First, it is useful for those LDS members who find themselves teetering on the edge of a faith crisis, particularly for a crisis involving church history. If you are looking for a way to make things work at church, you will likely find this book very useful.
Second, this book could be helpful for leaders and devout church members to read to gain a better understanding of some of the reasons people doubt and how to best connect with and support them, whether they be family, friends, or ward members. This concept of space-making is one that has always felt important to me, so I appreciated that Patrick included it in his book. I’ll come back to this topic later.
The fact that the book was co-published by Deseret Book may be one of it’s greatest strengths. Deseret Book makes it a “safe” book to read about why people might have doubts, and how to best support them, and Patrick is fairly straight forward and accepting of the facts of doubt- that the pain people experience is real and valid. Because the book says “Deseret Book” on the cover, it’s easy to recommend it to ward members or leaders and not have them resist reading for fear of it containing “anti” material.
I found quite a few quotes that stood out to me. First, is actually a quote from Eugene England, talking about why the Church is as true as the gospel.
"The Church is true because it is concrete, not theoretical…In the life of the true Church, there are constant opportunities for all to serve…especially to learn to serve people we would not normally choose to serve- or possibly even associate with- and thus opportunities to learn to love unconditionally.”
I have found value in my own church interactions in working with and learning to see the value and strengths in people who I might not otherwise seek out because of our different life views.
"Along the way many of us will have our doubts, our conflicts, our moments of exasperation, and genuine crises of integrity when we seem to be at our limit with this imperfect organization and its less-than-celestial leadership, membership and history. Believing that the church is true and that it transforms me in ways that I sincerely doubt would happen in any other way doesn’t make it much easier- and in fact may make it harder when I expect more and better from an institution I know has done so much to bring me to Christ."
I think this is an important statement, because many of us feel so hurt *precisely because* we feel that a church, led by prophets of God should be ahead of the times when it comes to certain issues, and we are hurt or disillusioned when it is not.
In the next chapter (When Church is Hard), Patrick describes an experience of moving into a new ward and not being given a calling for some time. When he did finally receive a calling, he was told that the bishop had been concerned with giving him a calling because of fears that he might bring his political views to church.
"What troubled me was that the very men who had signed my temple recommend also apparently doubted my fitness for service in the kingdom. I was hurt and left with a feeling I never had before- the impression that this was not really my church…"
I think many of us can identify with this experience, where we want to serve and be part of our ward family, but because others have judged us as dangerous in some way, we are not given the opportunity. Patrick took this experience and used it for his own growth:
"How many times in my own leadership callings had I overlooked someone’s capacity to serve because of some arbitrary set of criteria that said more about me than about them?"
This leads us back to the concept of space-making that I brought up earlier.
"We are marvelous at mobilizing when someone faces challenges to their physical health… Those exact same resources can be brought to bear, though more quietly, for those with doubts… This is the baptismal covenant of every member of the Church of Jesus Christ- “to bear one another burdens, that they may be light;…to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort”.
Patrick encourages those who have solid footing at church, to reach out to those who may be struggling with issues, to make sure there is a space for everyone at church, regardless of doubt or questions. At the round table discussion we talked about how this space-making can go both ways. Just like I want space made for me to question at times, those of us who question need to make room for those who do not question, or who do not question in the same way that we do. Labeling someone a TBM in a derisive way, or scoffing at the way they bear their testimony, though maybe temporarily satisfying, does nothing to strengthen the body of Christ. Perhaps it is time for those of us who can, regardless of our belief, to reach across the aisle and make space for those with whom we disagree, those whom we don’t understand, or feel misunderstood by. Perhaps it’s time for all of us to be okay with loving and serving people who express their belief differently than we do....more
This book doesn't have all the answers, and doesn't begin to address any possible doctrinal concerns that some women have with the LDS church, but itThis book doesn't have all the answers, and doesn't begin to address any possible doctrinal concerns that some women have with the LDS church, but it is a great start to helping more traditional members understand where pain might be coming from, and offers a few suggestions for how to be more welcoming.
I think this book is a wonderful bridge, and hope that bishops and stake presidents particularly, read it and consider implementing some of the suggestions. We can do so much better when it comes to putting people and their needs ahead of tradition. Just because we've always done things a certain way, doesn't mean they have to be that way. ...more