Ditto on the other reviews. Great premise -- royalty, mermen, curses, forbidden love. What's not to like? But it's just too short and incomplete feeliDitto on the other reviews. Great premise -- royalty, mermen, curses, forbidden love. What's not to like? But it's just too short and incomplete feeling....more
Strange book. I couldn't follow who was who half the time and didn't understand the family's interactions or conversations the rest of the time. OveraStrange book. I couldn't follow who was who half the time and didn't understand the family's interactions or conversations the rest of the time. Overall, I guess I would describe it as "ok" which is why 2 stars....more
Wow, this was absolutely not my cup of tea at all. Clearly this book has received otherwise very good reviews, so I forced myself to struggle throughWow, this was absolutely not my cup of tea at all. Clearly this book has received otherwise very good reviews, so I forced myself to struggle through the first 1/3 of it before I just couldn't take any more. The story seems to consist completely of non-stop "witty banter" (I suppose you would call it) between the various main characters. For me, however, it was just plain ridiculous. Non-stop ridiculous characters and non-stop ludicrous dialogue.
This is just one such example from chapter one (and keep in mind this dialogue is between two characters -- Gary, a unicorn without a horn, and Sam, a wizard apprentice -- who are currently tied up being held captive by the "evil" wizard, Lartin):
“Horse?” Gary snarled. The pretty unicorn act dropped immediately. Red sparks shot from his nose. “Did you just call me a horse? Listen here, you two-legged bag of shit. I’m not a motherfucking horse. I am a unicorn, and I am magic and a beautiful creature made of fucking sunshine and rainbows and good feelings.” “I knew it,” I whispered. “Get your ass over here so I can stomp on your face,” Gary said to Lartin. “Untie me, lie down on the ground, and let me stomp your face.” “You don’t have a horn,” Lartin pointed out. “That’s just rude,” I said. “I didn’t point out that your nose is really big. Why would you say something like that?” “Sam,” Gary said tearfully. “He called me a horse.” “Hey,” I said. “Hey. Look at me.” He did. His eyes were wet, and I wanted to punch Lartin in the spleen. “Who is the most beautiful unicorn in all of Verania?” “Me,” Gary sniffed. “And who has the prettiest mane?” “Me.” “And who is a badass motherfucker who’ll gut a bitch?” “Me!” “Damn right.”
Ugh. More dialogue between Sam and Gary the unicorn from the same scene where they are captured by Lartin the bad wizard:
“He’s a villain,” I said. “It’s what they do. They have to broadcast their entire plan when they think they’ve won because no one else will ever listen to them.” “Lame,” Gary said, glancing at Lartin. “Girl, I really don’t care. Unbind my legs before I scratch your eyes out.” “You don’t have fingers,” I reminded him. “You can’t scratch anything.” “He’s lucky I don’t have my horn back yet,” Gary muttered. “There’d be so much goring, it’d be unreal. It’d be like Gore City up in here. These roots are chafing. He should undo them.” “Are you going to undo them?” I asked Lartin. “Uh, no?” he said. “You know I captured you and you’re my prisoners, right? “Did he?” I asked Gary. “Well, we are tied up,” Gary said. “And not in the fun way.”
This is the tone through the whole book. To be fair, some people clearly derive enjoyment from this and have rated the book quite highly. I, however, am absolutely not one of them and had no idea what I was getting myself into based on the book blurb. Big disappointment. ...more