This is a serious collection of all my favorite fairy tales gone naughty and bad.
What have I learned? 1....moreWarning: This review is PG-13 or rather R-18.
This is a serious collection of all my favorite fairy tales gone naughty and bad.
What have I learned? 1. Size matters over performance. (Beauty and the Beast) 2. When your husband asks you to not enter a room, do not enter it. It is just a room full of kinky sex stuff. If you still decide to enter, face the consequences of being punished in the same room. (Bluebeard) 3. Never challenge a cat you are attracted to. You are most definitely to lose and end up his wife. Though you are a mouse. (Cat and Mouse) 4. If faced with numerous men in the dark, the best way to reveal your loved one is by coitus. (East of the Sun and West of the Moon) 5. If something is soft, it will become hard eventually. (Goldilocks and the Three Barons 6. Do not be deceived by looks, dwarfs may be real princes cursed by a witch. (Snow White)
Okay. I am going to stop now.
But I have to tell you, if ever I have children, and I would read them bedtime stories, I don't think that the wholesome version of these fairy tales would be stuck on my mind, but these. I just hope I wouldn't experience the slip of the tongue. (less)
A princess is inflicted with a curse. One where she would sleep for eternity, unless the spell is broken by a kiss of a prince.
A prince comes and bes...moreA princess is inflicted with a curse. One where she would sleep for eternity, unless the spell is broken by a kiss of a prince.
A prince comes and bestows his lovingly affections to the lovely princess. When I say lovingly affections, I mean, him ruining Beauty's dress with a sword, raping her(she was asleep, and she doesn't give permission, which I call rape) and then giving her a kiss.
The thought (aside from the rape part), is absolutely romantic for me. I could already imagine all that the prince had to endure to save the princess, which is absolutely amazing for my standards.
Anyway, despite the rape and all the nakedness Beauty had to endure, I had continued hoping that Anne Rice could offer me something sweeter.
But alas, my expectations were not met.
There is nothing sweet in this story. And I have no idea how I was able to finish this.
Thus I could say no more, because up to now, I am still having shivers just thinking of the cruelty every slave had to endure, and the taste of anus, which unfortunately, Anne Rice described in graphic detail.(less)
Being a big Twilight fan, I jumped the bandwagon of reading this hyped up book, thinking this was some sort of fan fiction or something. I also saw it...moreBeing a big Twilight fan, I jumped the bandwagon of reading this hyped up book, thinking this was some sort of fan fiction or something. I also saw it everywhere, including Costco, among other groceries.
Well, it's a far cry from twilight.
It's not even twilight for a mature audience.
And I didn't like it. I should have known what I was getting myself into when I saw "EROTIC ROMANCE" at the back. I felt uncomfortable most of the time reading it, and I just finished it, because of the fact that I bought a NEW book which I seldom do. (less)
As of 12/11/13, Bared to You by Sylvia Day has gotten 4.21 stars averaged from almost 180,000 readers. WOW. How dare me for giving this book two stars...moreAs of 12/11/13, Bared to You by Sylvia Day has gotten 4.21 stars averaged from almost 180,000 readers. WOW. How dare me for giving this book two stars. Throw rotten tomatoes at me, but in my defense, I feel like I am being generous.
Why did this book not work for me?
1.) Poor narration. Listening to this audiobook was awful. Whenever the narrator was shifting to Gideon Cross's voice, it was hilarious. She does make good moaning sounds, which she does awfully alot in this book.
2.) Gideon and Eva has a lover's quarrel every chapter. But don't quote me, I might be exaggerating. But seriously, either these two are banging the walls out or chasing each other because one is mad at the other.
I am seriously stuck at two reasons. Which means I have no idea what I just listened to. Did I seriously listen to this for almost 11 hours and not remember a thing? Yes, I just did. (less)
So, Gabe Hamilton and Mia Crestwell have been attracted to each other since Mia was still a baby (not literally). I usually like storylines where guy falls in love with little sister of his best friend. Mia is Jace's little sister, who is also Gabe's best friend. So she's sort of off limits. Years after, Mia shows up at the opening of Gabe's hotel in a very sexy dress and Gabe just loses it! He hands Mia a contract and asks her to be his assistant and sex buddy.
The plot, is slightly different, but both involves a millionaire who is into contracts, spanking and BDSM and who also loves feeding the heroine full, and a naive heroine who never imagined herself enjoying bondage and anal sex. It's been such a while since I last read Fifty Shades of Grey and if it was fresh in my mind, I would have made a point by point comparison of the characters and the plot, however, I do not want to submit myself to that torture of reading whichever book all over again.
This is my first Maya Banks read and I have no idea if I would want to read another of her works. I was thinking it's the erotic genre that doesn't work for me, but I've looked at my erotic shelf, and I saw some four star reads for me.
I'm thinking it's just the type of plot that does not work with me. I didn't think the plot was believable, thus, I did not connect with any of the characters. I just thought them to be kinky rich kids.
If you hated Fifty Shades, I suggest you stay away from this book. However, if you loved it, then be my guest, and indulge with the book.
I'm not crossing off Maya Banks from authors to avoid just yet. I'll give it one more book. (less)
*insert musical notes here* I fell in love with a stripper. (forgive me, I cannot seem to copy paste the notes, nor enter them the alt+13 mode since I...more*insert musical notes here* I fell in love with a stripper. (forgive me, I cannot seem to copy paste the notes, nor enter them the alt+13 mode since I am just using an ipad).
Seriously, Hollywood star, Dawson Kellor fell in love with a stripper at first glance. WOW.
This book started so strong, but ended weak.
The beginning, it was all about Grey Amundsen. She is a sheltered daughter of a pastor in Macon, Georgia. She is little miss goody two shoes. But her only relief is dance. She does ballet, jazz and contemporary. However, her dad, being a pastor, thinks dancing is sinful and provocative. But good thing is, Grey's mom is supportive of this, and convinces Eric (the dad) for her to have formal lessons. But, Grey's mom is sick with cancer, and dies. Grey discovers another passion, which is film. She wants to pursue this career and gets scholarship in USC. But her dad is not supportive of this since movies are dirty and sinful. And USC is in Los Angeles which is "home of sin". He disowns Grey, and Grey is on her own. She survives for a little while, but before the end of her second year, she is told that her scholarship runs out, therefore she is forced to get a job as a stripper, just to support her school.
I don't think any amount of stripping could support oneself in going to USC (1 unit is $1,500). Unless she's stripping 24/7? But she only does this on Friday. But hey, I can't be sure.
I liked the first part of the story. However, when Dawson Kellor entered the strip club, it started going downhill for me. Don't get me wrong, Dawson is hot. But I found their instant connection cr**. Sure, it looks like Grey doesn't belong in the strip club cause she looks all innocent and everything, but she's still a stripper and Dawson is still a Hollywood bigshot who could have any woman he could like. I thought it was too instantaneous, and it felt ridiculous to me that Dawson would go out of his way to make Grey really comfortable (like loan a $150,000 Land Rover to her). Also they've known each other for a couple of days and they already love each other? This book had plenty of eye rolling moments for me.
Also, I felt like I've read all of these pages, looking for the plot of this book. I have found it. And it's b*tt s*x.(less)