I have kidnapped your review. Your review is not harmed and shall be released as soon as you meet my demands.
In exchange for giving you back your review, which I am prepared to do, you will first need to provide for me:
1 copy of The 5th Wave #2 – undamaged, complete, unmarked (except for your signature or a stylized message to me).
This copy of The 5th Wave #2 must also contain certain characters unharmed and ready for me to snuggle them in my imagination.
Cassie – Because she’s badass
Zombie – Because he’s adorable.
Nugget – Don’t ever even think about hurting him.
Ringer – She is my hero.
The Silencer (I won’t mention its real name here so as not to spoil) – This character is essential. Failure to provide this character will result in immediate disposal of your review. I’m not even kidding.
Please leave my requested item in my PO Box. Do not call the police – they can’t help you for I am no longer human at this point but a starved, ghost-like creature dependent on my next hit of The 5th Wave lest I waste away. If I see that you have called either of them then you will leave me with no choice but to kill the review.
I’m sorry it had to come to this, Mister Yancey. I had hoped that we could come to some kind of reasonable arrangement. But you had to go and write a wonderful book and the next one is not due for publication until August 2014. August 2014? Now do you see how you have pushed me into a corner here? I’m an every day hero, doing what I must to survive.
Once my demands are met, I will upload the review as promised. Think about this, Yancey. Nobody needs to get hurt here. We can all win.
An ARC was supplied to me by the publisher for the purpose of greater understanding American line dancing. Alas, all I used it for were review purposes that I was in no way paid for. Bummer.
If you can’t love Dante Walker then you’re probably not going to love this book. He is cocky, flamboyant, arrogant, hilarious, and sassy. Luckily for...moreIf you can’t love Dante Walker then you’re probably not going to love this book. He is cocky, flamboyant, arrogant, hilarious, and sassy. Luckily for me, I absolutely loved him. Victoria Scott has perfectly encapsulated the jerky, arrogant seventeen year old who thinks he’s a straight up badass – and nothing is more satisfying than watching Dante Walker realize that not only does he have a sweet, kind side, but he’s also a good person and a good friend.
The book basically went like this:
Dante would be all like:
And outwardly I would be like:
But then when I thought the book wasn’t looking, I’d be like:
There’s another character, Charlie Cooper, who I just loved. Mostly because, though Dante is so mean about her at the beginning, Scott wrote her with such empathy and compassion. Even while Dante was waxing poetical about how unattractive and what a loser she was, and even while she was acting like a loser, I still loved her. I think everyone who’s been an awkward teenage girl could see part of themselves in Charlie.
Whilst the writing of The Collector was pretty good, it was the slang and dialogue that really got me. Basically, she nailed it. Nailed teenage guy with a great finesse. The plot itself is pretty cool if a little simplistic. Bad Collector dude spies innocent virgin girl. Shenanigans ensue. It was hard for me to grasp the greater moral aspects of the book, the struggle between good and evil etc when I spent the whole book going, “God, girl! Just ride that guy to O-Town already!” As the book progressed, I found myself rocking backwards and forwards begging her to not change. NEVER CHANGE, CHARLIE!
I guess this was the only aspect that I found a little less satisfactory than I would have liked. For me, where it really made up for it was the characters. The dynamics between Blue and Dante and Charlie. Between the Liberator and Max and Dante. Between them all. I just couldn’t get enough of those awwwwww moments. And then it ended, and I wanted more. Especially more of teh sexy. Which meant I finished the book shaking my fist at Victoria Scott, saying:
Which is really just my way of saying, “I love you.”(less)
Some people are really going to like Prophecy Girl. People who like a very distinctive protagonist voice littered with pop culture references. Fans of...moreSome people are really going to like Prophecy Girl. People who like a very distinctive protagonist voice littered with pop culture references. Fans of Vampire Academy, who are looking for something similar, will also probably at least be interested – if not enjoy it. I don’t think it’s unfair to state that Prophecy Girl is highly derivative of Vampire Academy. Non Academic, rough and tumble protagonist with an intelligent best friend, falls in love with hot young tutor, crazy shenanigans, magical world – it was all very highly reminiscent. Derivative doesn’t necessarily mean it’s bad, but in this case the comparison doesn’t favor Prophecy Girl. In a Who Wrote It Better? competition, Mead comes out a clear victor.
I would give that outfit a 9/10. Gorgeous, gorgeous job!
I would say… less.
The story is heavily focused on the romance between Amelie and Jack, which I felt was a misstep as it rarely managed to run anything but hot (fan yourself, dim the lights, spark some candles hot) and cold (wet, dead, stinky-fish cold). The chemistry was there in a physical sense and I give White props for that – but any real camaraderie, relationship or love were painfully absent or ineffectually handled for me. Mostly because there simply wasn’t time to develop it.
But the plot itself was the biggest let down. I feel like by the time the author gets through all her surprise twists, the original motivations and actions of the characters don’t make much sense. I read the ending actions with critical detachment as characters did things that seemed inexplicable to me. The ending was pretty broadly forecasted in a way that sucked enjoyment from the narrative. Early on two characters step onto the page and my initial reaction was, “Well, they’re clearly evil. I don’t know how or why but… EVIL!” And I was kind of sad to see that I was right. That things were so clearly telegraphed.
Even a major plot event happened that was so obvious, my brain kind of hurt reading it. I thought, surely, it can’t be this easy. Then it happened, to everyone’s shock but mine. For me? I was just like:
Writing was okay, no real issues there, which is a positive. And if you are looking for something just a bit steamy, then you’re surely going to at least enjoy it.
Ultimately, I think this is a good book if you’re looking for something quick, easy and that will give you a couple of laughs. But one of the greats, it is not.
Usually V and I go on random adventures together. Like that time she was a Steampunk airship captain and I was helping her storm a flying fortress to...moreUsually V and I go on random adventures together. Like that time she was a Steampunk airship captain and I was helping her storm a flying fortress to steal back some booty. Or like when we went trekking through an alien jungle to rescue a space whale from some poachers. Ya know, we hang out. Have fun. Repress our strong feelings for each other in lieu of maintaining a platonic friendship. The usual.
So I’m pretty used to her taking me on wild adventures. I just don’t think I’m ever going to get used to reading her wild imagination! Through the Ever Night was, if possible, even better than Under the Never Sky. Rossi’s skill as a story teller has only grown and improved, so too has her characters. I don’t usually like to reference character hotness as a selling point in a book – but these two don’t even need to touch to be steaming up the pages which (now that I think about it, is probably a fire hazard). As always, some of the best parts about Rossi’s writing is the litany of secondary characters – Roar being one serious MVP.
Once again his wit and personality bring a much needed buoyancy and humour to an otherwise action-packed, edge of your seat, angst fest that left me clutching the book yelling, “What?! WHAT!?!” and “NOOOOOO!!!! NOOOO!! Oh my god howwillieversurvive!?!” You know it’s been a good book when you’re left thinking, “Oh yeah! It is ON, baby!”
I read a lot of good books these days, having become exceptionally good at weeding out stuff I’m pretty sure I’ll like – so it takes a special kind of series/book to make my top five of all time. Under The Never Sky certainly does and not just because V would falcon punch me if I didn’t say that.
It’s hard not to respect a book that kicks ass from start to finish. Especially the writing which has become smoother. Particularly in regards to the well-conceptualized action scenes which seems to be something that Rossi does particularly well, and everything is really easy to visualize. The Aether, an aspect of this book that exceedingly confused people the last time round, will probably still confuse you. She explains it more in this book but still, what is an Aether? Buggered if I know. And you know what? Two books in and I still don’t CARE. It’s there, it’s awesome. It’s rocking the Casbah. What’s a Casbah? I don’t know either, but it rocks. (Okay, lies. I totally know what the Casbah is. So sue me.)
Seriously, I have a very small list of books that I love more than life itself but THIS ONE IS ON IT. Go read now!
Because you can’t come with V and I to save the Prince from the Alturi Prison on the third moon of the Kayman system until you do!(less)
Okay, at page 156 this crossed over from boring to painful to read.
And it's not that I don't understand what the author is trying to do here. Low sel...moreOkay, at page 156 this crossed over from boring to painful to read.
And it's not that I don't understand what the author is trying to do here. Low self-esteem country girl, bully misogynistic husband, starting a new life and all that. It's probably mostly realistic. I've met enough couples like this - particularly country lads who couldn't wipe their asses without a woman around to help them with it. It's just that nothing happens. It's such a long, drawn out boring tale of lunch meeting after lunch meeting after coffee meet up and then a dinner meeting thrown in to round it off.
And whilst I understood why the main character was so painfully, ridiculously, annoyingly dumb, and even felt that her actions were in line with the character - this simply made that novel horrible to read.
But I'm nothing, if not, all about the edumacation, folks. So I'm going to provide a list of things to do, that this character definitely should have done, in case you ever find yourself in a similar situation.
Things you should do if you're leaving your partner:
1. Make copies of all financial papers. Bank statements, recent sales, deeds, debts, assets, superannuation details, payslips etc. (If you quit work to stay at home for your partner/family - remember to consider the superannuation that you've lost out on when calculating your financial worth.)
2. Seek legal advice. Make sure this lawyer or firm is not representing your partner. If you can't afford a lawyer and don't qualify for legal aid, investigate a mediator.
3. Make note of the date of separation.
4. Close any joint accounts.
5. Get your name off utilities as soon as you leave.
6. Don't sign anything without having it viewed by your lawyer.
7. Fuck everyone else. Seriously, just fuck them. Do what you need to do for yourself.(less)
I’m not sure how to proceed with this review WITHOUT resorting to a shit ton of gifs. I just really feel like some kind of crazy wild action would bet...moreI’m not sure how to proceed with this review WITHOUT resorting to a shit ton of gifs. I just really feel like some kind of crazy wild action would better represent how I feel than words ever could.
I mean, I could say that The Eternity Cure is one badass tale that left me desperate for more because this story was fucking awesome. Or I could just do this:
Which is, no joke, my exact facial expression upon finishing this book. I think it actually stayed like that for a full two minutes.
I could tell you that Allison Sekemoto was such an unmitigated badass that I am prepared to lay my sword down at her badass feet and swear my fealty to her as the god of badass forever. Or I could just do this:
See how much easier that is? I can’t write this bloody review because I’m too busy stalking Julie Kagawa and thinking of ways to beg her to hurry up and give me the next book. I need it. Seriously. And I can’t even talk about this book much, because I don’t want to spoil anyone. But I will let you know some vague things that you can expect:
1) Allison Sekemoto continues to be a stone-cold, kick-ass, awesomely awesome protagonist.
2) There are smoochies.
3) Things need to be killed and Allison is exactly the person to do it.
4) This is a creepy fucking book and I still shiver occasionally when thinking about it.
5) Some people in the book are horrifically horrible and terrifying.
6) Some people in this book are kind of sweet and make me smile.
7) Kanin <3
8) There is a return of a character I didn’t expect and he was fuckin’ ACE, man.
9) Be prepared to want to have everyone’s babies. Just everyone’s.
10) Read it. That is all.
I have to admit, like The Immortal Rules, it started out a little slow. Allison’s naivete and willingness to trust scumbags annoyed me. However, it didn’t take long before I fully endorsed pretty much each and every decision she made. She’s just so… cool. Kagawa throws the readers right back into this creepy, desolate, and somewhat hopeless world. But somehow, when the characters in this book teamed up ready to go kick ass, I just felt this rightness. Like, “Hell yeah! It’s ASS kicking time!” For those who don’t know, ass kicking time comes right after Balls-to-the-wall crazy time, and briefly before Cleaning-blood-out-of-your-clothes time.