A good gag gift, if you can find it. This includes some tidbits about gross stuff you can find in your nose, mouth, ears. But for the most part this bA good gag gift, if you can find it. This includes some tidbits about gross stuff you can find in your nose, mouth, ears. But for the most part this book is designed to be a conversation piece sitting on your coffee table. Large portions of it are totally invented or off topic or both.
It includes a word search puzzle that is something like this (not copied exactly):
Something like this:
Circle all the words you hear in a dentist's office:
O O O A A A O A O A O A O O O A O A A A H A O H A A O O A O ...more
James Thurber’s memoir of his early years, written before he was even middle-aged, is a look at what it was like to live in the early 1900s with a senJames Thurber’s memoir of his early years, written before he was even middle-aged, is a look at what it was like to live in the early 1900s with a senile grandfather, a family that didn’t understand the technology of the day, a father who thought everyone else was crazy, and a whole bunch of other people who just don’t communicate. All this is the basis for a series of funny and satirical anecdotes.
Thurber’s grandfather couldn’t tell the difference between a police officer in the early 1900s and a civil war soldier, so when the police came to visit investigate Thurber’s house he shot at them.
Thurber’s mother didn’t know the difference between gasoline, oil, and water. “Now don’t you dare drive all over town without gasoline!” she would say.
Perhaps my favorite of the stores was “Draft Board Nights” where Thurber talked about how he had to report to the Draft Board every week because of some clerical error. Each week he was disqualified from the army because of his bad eyesight. After going through the entire physical examination each week the eye doctor would finally tell him, “Why you couldn’t get into the service with eyesight like that,” to which Thurber would understate with a simple “I know”.
Many of these anecdotes have been published as short stories in anthologies or children’s literature book. I specifically recognized “The Day the Dam Broke”, but I don’t remember exactly when I read it.
It’s such a short read, and has many clever and funny points, that it was well worth it, and I should probably rate it higher. But I won’t. The reviews were too one sided, and that left my expectations too high, so I was actually a little disappointed. ...more
If you ever end up trapped living in a science fictional universe, there are several things you will NEED TO KNOW, and who better than a TIME MACHINEIf you ever end up trapped living in a science fictional universe, there are several things you will NEED TO KNOW, and who better than a TIME MACHINE REPAIR MAN to teach them to you?
Case in point:
If you ever see yourself coming out of a time machine, run. Run away as fast as you can. Don't stop. Don't try to talk. Nothing good can come of it. It's rule number one, and it is drilled into you on the first day of training. It should be second nature, they tell you... Don't try anything fancy. If you see yourself coming at you, don't think, don't talk, don't do anything. Just run.
The style of the book is clever with quite a bit of dry humor, but it is primarily a book about a man who wishes he had a better relationship with his dad – a surprisingly down to earth topic for such an arcane premise.
The main character (who shares the same name as the author, Charles Yu) is a Time Machine Repair man in a dead end job, who spends most of his time in the alternate universe where he is least likely to run into another version of himself as he travels through time to repairs people's time machine. Of this job, he says,
The reason I have job security is that people have no idea how to make themselves happy. Even with a time machine. I have job security because what the customer wants, when you get right down to it, is to relive his very worst moment, over and over and over again. Willing to pay a lot of money to do it, too.
References to Star Wars were inevitable, but rather amusing. Luke Skywalker's son, Linus, can't handle the pressure of being the son of the universe's most well known hero. It was also interesting to learn that there are job openings at the Death Star. Apparently, they have a good cafeteria, but their retirement plan is to get you choked to death by an invisible hand.
Clever, witty, serious, and insightful. 4+ stars. ...more
The Bennett sisters wield swords and muskets more than wit and wisdom in this mash-up of classical literature with zombie kitsch. If Jane Austen is tuThe Bennett sisters wield swords and muskets more than wit and wisdom in this mash-up of classical literature with zombie kitsch. If Jane Austen is turning over in her grave then she is also hungering for human flesh.
If you are about to embark on this adventure, you may want to review the following Tips for living in Zombie-Infested England:
1. Go to the orient to train in the deadly arts. This training will be essential for survival, defending your honor, and attracting a mate. There apparently is some dispute whether it is better to train in China or Japan.
2. Retain a cadre of ninjas for your personal protection. You never know when you will need them. Besides, it’s a nice status symbol.
3. If your spouse contracts the deadly disease you must cut off her head to prevent her joining the ranks of Satan.
4. At social functions, be ready to form a defensive formation such as the pentogram of death at any time.
5. When meeting an arrogant high-born noblewoman at her home for the first time, strangle one of her ninjas in his own entrails in a duel. It is bound to make an impression that won’t soon be forgotten.
The three stars I’m giving this one indicate that I enjoyed it despite the fact that at times it seemed to be beating an undead horse. On the plus side, the mash-up version of the story might translate better onto film than the original.