Well, I had all kinds of things to say about this book but I was too lazy to take many notes and a week has passed and now there’s nothing much left t...moreWell, I had all kinds of things to say about this book but I was too lazy to take many notes and a week has passed and now there’s nothing much left that stuck with me.
If I had to choose a book that defines a three star read for me this one would be right up there. It’s not awful, it flows nice and stuff, but it’s not earth-shatteringly fantastic either and that’s a shame. I wish all books were earth-shatteringly fantastic. I didn’t laugh and I didn’t cry and I was only vaguely entertained but that’s nothing new. If you’re stuck in a car, stuck picking up doggie doo in the yard or forced to cook dinner every night of the week, I’d say this audiobook is a good way to help keep your mind off of those mind-numbing tasks but if you’re anything like me you probably won’t remember any of it once you start the next book. Or maybe you’ll love it and I’m an idiot. Who knows.
Here’s the gist. The heroine is a writer of YA and also housesits and spends her time peeping into the homes of the neighbors with her binoculars. She says this is to get insight into personalities or some such but I’m not buying it. She’s just nosey and I’m just jealous because she gets paid for this. Hey, how do I get this gig? Anyway, her peeping backfires when she witnesses a murder and it puts her smack in the middle of some nefarious goings-on having to do with a Faberge egg and a psychotic killer. Don’t worry though she also meets the love of her life because of this so it’s all good.
They have some spark but I never see it. They have some sex but it’s boring to me. They declare themselves falling in love but I’m not feeling it and now I can’t even remember any of it. True story.
There are a lot of amazing books out there and there are a lot of crappy ones. This one falls right in the middle. (less)
2 1/2 but rounding up to a 3 because of the cutie tentacle monster.
This is what the blurb promised me:
Yaoi Hentai is back with a whole new volume of r...more2 1/2 but rounding up to a 3 because of the cutie tentacle monster.
This is what the blurb promised me:
Yaoi Hentai is back with a whole new volume of romantic yaoi smut. All new artists bring you four hot stories of hardcore guy on guy loving. First, an Elizabethan dandy is cursed to be the love slave of anyone who plays his violin. Next enjoy a science fiction story of a prince who endures trials of sexual pain and pleasure at the hands of his idol, the emperor of a sexually depraved planet. Fans of Yaoi Press' PINNED! graphic novel get to see a hardcore love scene between Renegade and Synn. And of course, Trach the tentacle monster rounds out the book in his second sex-filled adventure. YAOI - MATURE & EXPLICIT CONTENT Readers 18+.
This is what I got:
Mostly plots that are silly and make little sense but I expected that and I am completely ok with that. What I didn't expect was the mostly awful artwork. Lots of terribly drawn men and their terribly drawn genitalia doing mostly terrible things to mostly unwilling victims (who often end up loving it or growing to love it) . Most of it so badly drawn (with misshapen boy parts) that what they were doing was often unclear to me even after putting on my glasses and squinting really hard. There were some words too. But the most popular one was "thrust". Thank goodness for that "thrust" insertion. Without it I wouldn't have had a clue as to what those boys were up to. But it's not all that bad. There's this sexy tentacle monster who appeared in not one but two of these stories and he was a laugh riot. His not-so-little tentacles had little mouths with tongues and they seemed so happy,cheery and built for fun. I haven't read yaoi hentai before, got this one quite by accident actually (thank you PBS) but if this is what it's about it may be my last.
You know, this serves me right. I'm supposed to be reading three books and another for my book group next week but instead here I am doing this. (less)
This novel contains two novellas that are not connected in any way except for the fact that they both take place many years after a world changing eve...moreThis novel contains two novellas that are not connected in any way except for the fact that they both take place many years after a world changing event occurs.
First up is Harry Shannon’s Biters. Now I’m not going to lie, I had some problems with Biters. If you loved Biters you might not want to read my words. Many people are forgiving sorts but I’m afraid I’m not. So when the protagonist utters the following I find it hard to go on and/or to care about anything he does pretty much thereafter.
She was working him good now, sitting there on the seat all cute and begging. She knew how to charm a man out of his shirt, just like every other bitch he’d ever known.”
Excuse me? What’d he just say? I realize he’s living in the aftermath of the zombie apocalypse and he’s all hardened up and manly man and has scars on his soul but I don’t think that’s an excuse for having such a horrible attitude towards all female kind. Guys can be bitches too but I don’t despise them all for a horrible few. Sorry, it had to be said. I was hoping he’d have some sort of turnaround and I could get over my distaste but it really didn’t happen.
Can’t he more like this guy? (This one's for you Char. Okay and for me too!)
I mean, would it kill a guy to show a little kindness in his thoughts?
Perhaps it would. What do I know? I haven’t exactly suffered through a zombie apocalypse and been betrayed by bitches of any gender. What I do know is that I did not like Buck Ryan and that’s a problem seeing as he’s the lead character here. Honestly, I did not like any of the human characters. Not a one. They’re all jerks. They all deserve to have their brains eaten by zombies or to be extruded through a meat grinder to feed the poor homeless doggies wandering the landscape. Had that happened I might be a little happier.
I admit that I skimmed a little on the way to the end because I just didn’t want to spend any more time with these people. It isn’t really a zombie story and it definitely wasn’t a story meant for the likes of me. It’s more a story of betrayal that reminded me a bit of the old Tales from the Crypt comics and that’s all I have to say about it. You may love it. I see lots of people did. So don’t listen to me.
I give it 2.5 stars only because of Dog . Dog was awesome.
The other story is The Reborn by Brett J. Talley. Now this one here hooked me immediately. It opens with a shocking and brutal scene that stunned me. I didn’t think it would go there but it did. I had to keep reading and didn’t stop until I finished.
It is the late summer of 2050, seventeen years after the end of the Great War, and twenty-five years after A-Day.
The world is now very different than the one we all live in. Crime has become nearly extinct, so much so that police officers have little to do and are getting laid off. But underneath the false sense of utopia there is a dark undercurrent of betrayal, corruption and brutality that may be pure evil.
Marcus just lost his job with the police force and is approached by a man who offers him a sweet new position with a top secret organization. He’s kind of desperate and accepts without asking too many questions. What “The Shepherds” do and why they do it are revealed in bits and pieces throughout the story. I’m not going to give it away but trust me it’s harsh and horrifying and it’s awful and by the time Marcus figures it all out he’s in too deep to bow out easily.
This story is action packed. Now I’m not an action fangirl by any means but unlike the previous story I was interested to see what would happen to Marcus. Marcus had compassion and questioned the system and that’s why I kept on reading. The concept was chilling and creative and I enjoyed it immensely despite all of the action and war talk. 4.5 stars
*The FTC makes me declare that I received this copy from the author. I hope he doesn't regret it. (less)
2.5 and yes I do realize this title was named for me.
Seriously though I was really looking forward to Holly Black’s take on vampires. She has a lush b...more2.5 and yes I do realize this title was named for me.
Seriously though I was really looking forward to Holly Black’s take on vampires. She has a lush beauty about her writing that I love and never shies away from the ugliness that inhabits the lives of her characters. Her characters can be jerks, this is sometimes why I like them, and they always manage to keep my attention. I can’t say this was the case here and I sleepwalked through most of the story.
It started out great. Tana wakes up from one hell of a party to find a bloodbath has occurred while she was passed out. All of her party-going friends are dead and she sits down in a pool of blood to ponder things. The descriptions are bloody and my hopes were high. But then she finds her ex-boyfriend Aiden and a handsome young vampire fellow who she doesn’t know (his name is Gavriel and you know that no normal boy has such a lovely name, right?). They are all tied up but very much alive. The ex-boyfriend bites her. He’s been infected by vampire venom and can’t resist. She sets them free and fearing she’s infected the trio head to a place called “Coldtown” where infected humans and vampires co-exist in stew of decadence. And by the way, you can check into Coldtown but there’s no way you’re ever checking out. Were it me I’d have run screaming “So long suckers!” and left them there to have a bit fun with each other but Tana is kind of a danger whore (not that there’s anything wrong with that) and off they go.
Here the action and an endlessly meandering plot take over the story and turn what’s left of my brain right the heck off. There are some gorgeous descriptions of blood and the orgasmic rush of drinking it that bring me back to the days of Poppy Z. Brite’s earlier works (Black thanks her, along with Anne Rice and a slew of other gothicy writers In the end notes) and the violence was front and center but this wasn’t enough to keep my attention. The biggest disappointment for me was the lack of fleshed out characters. I could picture in my head exactly what everyone was wearing right down to their perfect application of glittery blue eyeliner but I never felt as if I knew any of them and could care less if they lived or lost their heads. After a while they all became a blur and secondary to the action.
And then there’s Gavriel and Tana’s romance. I’ve read too many of these books and knew from the moment the author stated his name that they were going to look deep into each other’s kohl lined eyes and lose their shit even though I was hoping for something (lord please anything) else to occur. Ok, so what if I was secretly hoping that Gavriel and Aiden would have a thing and surprise me in a good way. But no. It played out exactly as I feared it might. The romance could’ve been salvaged had it been fleshed out even a smidge. As written? Well, I wish it hadn’t happened.
The narration by Christine Lakin was amazing. I’d give her performance 5 blood stuffed stars and advise you listen to this story on audio if you have a desire to read it. Her voice was smoky and sensual and perfect for the content. If it weren’t for the great narration I might’ve deleted this from the Ipod after the first half.
So, to wrap this up there’s action (my downfall so perhaps that’s the biggest issue), rapturous bloodsucking, a big bad that wasn’t, a lot of death and a little lusty-lust but none of it was all that riveting. (less)
Why does every other book I pick up have to be part of some ongoing (sometimes never ending) series? Why can’t a book stand alone? Why do I ask stupid...moreWhy does every other book I pick up have to be part of some ongoing (sometimes never ending) series? Why can’t a book stand alone? Why do I ask stupid questions when I already know the answer? I am crabby and all I want is a fantastic standalone romance novel and I can’t seem to find one this month. Is this too much to ask?!
So, here’s my story of woe. I reserved this from the library via the internet without knowing it was book #2 in a series. When I picked it up and realized my error (which is clearly stated on the front for any idiot to see), I was too lazy to go back to return it and figured I’d give it a go anyway. Nora Roberts is usually an author I can count on. My mistake. I should’ve wasted the gas and the time and turned back. Instead I wasted 10+ hours of my time insisting to myself this book would get better. It didn’t. I think this idiot has finally learned her lesson.
The entire first hour of this unabridged audiobook is spent introducing three siblings in Ireland with magical powers who are battling some evil do-er who murdered their parents. I thought the book was going to be about one of them since Roberts spent so much time with the intro’s and all and just as I was feeling bad for them and getting comfy with the storyline she zips us to the future. Here we meet another group of three with magical powers who are related to the previous three. What. The. Hey?
Somewhere around hour three (yes, hour three people, you can't call me a quitter!) I am finally clued in to the fact that this may be a romance and the hero is this nice, friendly Connor fellow and I’m good with that. He has magical powers, trains falcons and is content with his happy life. He loves his siblings/cousins and has a friendly outlook on life. The heroine is Meara, his childhood friend who he enjoys teasing and touching whenever he can. She leads horse tours. She doesn’t have the magical powers but she does have an affinity for the horses. She’s nice enough. Together they’re fine but I didn’t feel much of anything but perhaps it’s because I’m dead inside.
So, there is a romance happening but it didn’t thrill me all that much and felt more like a secondary plot element. I'd be sad if I weren't so bored.And cold-hearted.
What is going on is kind of crazy, convoluted and not very original. There is a Big Bad who escaped from a Charmed episode or the past or some such who keeps popping up to steal “the three’s” (or "The Trees" as the narrator says) magical powers. Or something. The six main characters spend a lot of moaning and groaning about how to vanquish the evil do-er. They perform some Wiccan ceremonies which never seem to pan out in their favor. It all felt really campy to me and not in the fun kind of campy way.
I will admit that I may easily have missed some heartwarming, touching and/or genuinely terrifying moments because the narrator read the book Fecking Terribly. He had a nice enough Irish accent but his American accent was atrocious and he seemed to fade in and out of it. He read the book instead of performing it and paused at inappropriate places. But the worst thing was that he made all of the characters sound almost exactly the same. I never quite knew who was speaking and the book felt as if it were 100 hours long and I feared it would never end and that this was my own private hell.
If you are following this series, do yourself a favor and skip this audio version. Find it at your library or buy the paperback or suffer like I did.(less)