Whew-eee! It takes a lot to make me shudder, but this book did just that! I guarantee The Darkling will give you goosebumps on the warmest of summer d...moreWhew-eee! It takes a lot to make me shudder, but this book did just that! I guarantee The Darkling will give you goosebumps on the warmest of summer days. Probably not the best bedtime read, unless you want some seriously creepy dreams. The southern setting coupled with a mystery and predatory evil makes it beautifully macabre. The story preys on universal fears and makes use of horror culture, such as the woods, monster under the bed and the timely arrival of an innocent stranger. It might sound cliche, but what makes this novel special is how the events are delivered, through the girth of character. Writing a good horror is harder than one might think (hence, why some end up almost humorous). The author must be aware of what scares people and why. Tension and timing is fundamental and withholding just enough to let the imagination provide the special effects is essential. Lack in these areas and the horror fizzles. Chesterton proves to be an expert and delivers a chilling tale that makes the reader think twice about going for a nice walk in the woods after dinner.
The woods? Really? Everyone knows that something is going to happen, right? You may think you know what is coming, but a few twists might prove any skeptic wrong. Suddenly, every place and every person night or day, is fair game. How does Chesterton manage this? By understanding what ultimately frightens people. In this case, fear of being loved, control, helplessness, powerlessness and insecurity. Here, the thematic horror runs deeper than any ghastly gore splattered on the wall. It's the threat of undoing that is terrifying and I believe most readers will relate. If you were gleefully disturbed by or got the 'willies' from the horror movies The Omen or Orphan (Eeesssttteeerrr), then The Darklingis right up your dark alley.(less)
My Ex From Hell is more like the fan fiction-esque book from hell. This won't push the YA boundaries, but leans towards the tween/teen category. Hones...moreMy Ex From Hell is more like the fan fiction-esque book from hell. This won't push the YA boundaries, but leans towards the tween/teen category. Honestly, all you have to do is read the synopsis and you'll get a good understanding of what's to come. The sarcasm, geek teen talk and over-the-top humorist approach is splattered all over the back cover. If you think, "Hey, this totally relates to my inner high-schooler," and can't wait to read more of the same for the next 272 pages, then snag this one and do the Harlem Shuffle all the way to the checkout.
It's no little secret that I'm a big fan of sarcasm. I think it has a place, time and most importantly, a delivery. It can't be used on every page and in every situation, unless you're a cynical bore. I believe when using clever comic relief it needs to be carefully timed for optimal punch. In this story, there is comic vomit, so much so, that nothing can be taken seriously, which greatly reduces character credibility and the potential for an actual meaningful story.
Then...sigh...here comes the easy, cookie cutter plot. Take the basic Harry Potter set up, change the gender of the characters and insert a different magical, mythological world and PRESTO! you've got another boarding school magical adventure, year one. Instead of teachers, it's guidance counselors turning into bad guy creatures. Missing students need to be saved and conveniently, the teen heroes live at an isolated boarding school that is protected from harm (sort of).
Due to the writing style, absurd amount of comic saturation and teen ridiculousness, I felt this book was more fan fiction than novel. In the current form, it'd work better as a running blog story. If you like fan fiction, you might enjoy this book. However, I was less than impressed.(less)
It's true! This book does turn formulaic teen fiction on its head. Can I get an AMEN! Perhaps, this explains the wide variety of star-ratings. Either...moreIt's true! This book does turn formulaic teen fiction on its head. Can I get an AMEN! Perhaps, this explains the wide variety of star-ratings. Either you're going to like the change or not. For me, it was a winner! If you're looking for gore or slasher scary, you won't get it here. This is a psychological haunt that seeps into the brain and does the dirty work. What makes it frightening? The seemingly everyday ability to function with a demented voice in the head. The realism is what brings on the shiver factor. Although the tag line reads, Dexter meets Judy Blume, I'd write it as, Norman Bates say hello to Mary-Magdalene. Norman and Mary are more likely to be soul-mates than Dexter, the blood specialist working homicide. Norman Bates, I'd like to introduce you to Mary-Magdalene. The psychological construction of Mary is complex, consistent and deeply intriguing. We're never told what her mental illness is because just like the other characters (and herself), this is all new and happening in real-time. Like Dr. Scott and Adams, the reader is provided information and left to determine a diagnosis. However, the advantage goes to the reader because we're given access to Mary's intimate thoughts. Her ability to lie is astounding, suggesting she is highly intelligent and understands right from wrong, as well as self-preservation. On the other hand, Mary also can't seem to lie when it comes to social interaction, which makes her come across as brutally honest, awkward and a bit strange. Her justified empathy is fascinating, yet she still seems to have a conscience or at the very least, a distorted moral compass. Plus, she loves animals. I can not help but draw a comparison to the young Norman Bates and we all know how that turned out! So who is the voice in her head? Well, that is the million dollar question and would make for a great class or reading group discussion. What exactly is 'wrong' with Mary-Magadlene?
And what about that voice? All I can say is WOW! The voice in this text gets a standing ovation! I don't mean the voice in Mary's head, but rather I'm referring to the literary voice. It is seamless, flawless and convincing. The deadpan delivery takes skill and even when it would be 'normal' to heighten emotion, Shimko manages to maintain control to keep with the character. Some readers might find this too steady of an approach in certain scenes, but from a psychological standpoint this is so necessary and important. It provides more insight into the mind of the main character than any other description. So much depends on Mary's response or lack thereof, and I was pleased to see any temptation to veer from what the character demanded was avoided. It takes great discipline and Shimko flexes her writer muscles with this one!
The only thing I might poke at is the ending. It provides just enough to scrape by and qualify as a complete story, but it's hard not to want a bit more. I've gone over this a few times and I can make an argument for both adding another scene or leaving it as is. The imagination will get the better of you. Clearly there is a resolution and ending, but it might frustrate some readers. Whereas others, like myself, will enjoy pondering the possibilities of what happens next. It's beautifully annoying and again fits with the entire flow, voice and path of the story. I find that I've been arguing with the voice in my head about the ending. Isn't that ironic! Oh, and how clever!(less)
4.5 stars Most books don't live up to the cover claims or blurbs, but I must agree, if you're a fan of the Coen brothers' films, specifically, Fargo, y...more4.5 stars Most books don't live up to the cover claims or blurbs, but I must agree, if you're a fan of the Coen brothers' films, specifically, Fargo, you'll likely enjoy Jamie Mason's Three Graves Full. Murder, bullying, detectives and a strange tangle of ironic twists, will only enhance a person's belief in the sixth degrees of separation theory. Shrouded in dark humor, this mash up, smash up, bumbling slippery, slimy mess keeps rolling all the way to the very end. Each character is designed, revealed and made believable by the slight imperfections that are easily relatable. No one believes they could find themselves wrapped in such a cluster of bad luck, but Mason presents it in such a way that even the deadly mishaps coated with morbid humor are believable. Betting on human sympathy, Mason makes it hard to blame anyone specifically, and even though there are some clear-lined bad individuals, it's difficult to determine who is the master and the puppet. All actions have consequences and even the worst imaginable might just be justifiable. In the end, you'll be wondering if Jason Getty is just another poor sap that got what he deserved. (less)
Strap on the life vest because we're going fishing! Morey puts the spin in detective mystery with colorful characters, fast-paced action, strange bant...moreStrap on the life vest because we're going fishing! Morey puts the spin in detective mystery with colorful characters, fast-paced action, strange banter and a dollop of humor. This treasure hunting comedy/mystery flies across the page taking you through a cast of characters so entangled that it's bound to end with only a few left standing. Morey's story hinges on the bizarro, but with enough mainstream crime mystery dashed with real events, in this case the mystery of the Jesuit treasure, to ground them, which will broaden the appeal to a wider readership. Even though the convenient store cast of characters are far from cookie cutter, Morey does it without unnecessary raunchy language, explicit crudeness or ridiculous sexism. This is why Morey's stories appeal to me when compared to other authors who write in a similar genre. It just proves writing can be bizarre, humorous and down-right weird without crossing lines that will alienate an audience. Atticus Fish stories are a cross-over between Christopher Moore and Austin Powers without too much nasty. If you're ready for mule-riding expatriates, a germophobe strip club owner and a fumbling hit man that gets his ears chewed off, then this is the read for you! Park yourself in a lounger, slap on some sunscreen and soak up the crazy. (less)
It's difficult to argue with the resume of this author--impressive would be an understatement. ABC review compares David Vann to Melville, Faulkner, a...moreIt's difficult to argue with the resume of this author--impressive would be an understatement. ABC review compares David Vann to Melville, Faulkner, and McCathy. Admittedly, I can see the rationale behind the claim. If you like past works by those authors, it'd be plausible to assume you'll equally enjoy Dirt. The prose are more grounded than Melville and meander like Hemingway (without the purple), but have a similar grit and the southern Gothic edge of McCathy. If you're looking for a punchy fast-paced horror, this is not it. However, if you want to sink into a deeper philosophical examination - choose this read. And, when I mention philosophical, I mean get ready to contemplate dirt (lots of dirt), physical entrapment, as well as mental - the mind and flesh. This is a 'thinking' story. Thematically, Dirt seems to contain endless possibilities. I've been mulling over the concept of the body as a prison verses the shed and also drawing in the setting of the walnut orchard. Then, there is the style and text. Why no quotes used for dialogue? This could make for an entire conversation on its own. Interesting, stylistic, and will get editors arguing for months. I love it! It really is a critical analysis gem and a novel that should be explored in depth, dissected, discussed and placed on the college American Literature must read list. Exciting? That's debatable. Relevant? Absolutely! If you need to stretch your brain and don't want to lug a chunky 700+ book around, this is the perfect modern compromise. I'd recommend it for reading groups and book clubs that like to examine contemporary styles based on classic structures with philosophical examination, layered themes, setting and complex prose.(less)
This is not your Nana’s Christmas story. If you’re looking for a heart-warming, fuzzy, good-feeling read, Tim Dorsey’s style will shock your stockings...moreThis is not your Nana’s Christmas story. If you’re looking for a heart-warming, fuzzy, good-feeling read, Tim Dorsey’s style will shock your stockings off. This satirical tale might even strip the stripe off a candy cane or two. However, twisted folks that giggle at Christopher Moore and are amused by Beavis and Butthead-like antics, will fa-la-la-la-la through the pages of this short gem. Spike the eggnog and dress the white elephant gift with the Sunday funny paper, because When Elves Attack is packed with classic Dorsey shenanigans wrapped in a shiny bright bow. Yeah, it’s nothing knew, but it’s funny as hell. This isn’t highbrow stuff, but who wants to strain their brain after hours at the mall? This is the perfect book to take along to the in-laws over the holidays or will make an excellent gift for that hard-to-buy-for nutbar relative. Let’s face it you’re probably going to need a laugh by the end of the evening anyways! Sometimes it’s good to remember that it could be worse. You could live in Florida across the street from Serge Storms on Triggerfish Lane.(less)
4.5 stars If you’ve just read the book synopsis you might've paused, shook your head, and decided to re-read it again because undoubtedly this is not a...more4.5 stars If you’ve just read the book synopsis you might've paused, shook your head, and decided to re-read it again because undoubtedly this is not a book about mafia fruit wars and a donut dealer killer who is dating a kiwi? Since this is bizarro, it kind of is, but in the metaphorical sense, right? Charles is the reality that holds this surreal eco-fruitation together and he is accompanied by an entourage of characters that easily might be discovered in the lost and found bin of Quentin Tarantino’s mind. Possessing all the good qualities of pulp-fiction, this spoof on pop culture captures the best and worst of sensationalism, hero envy and the normalcy of the not so normal we’ve come to love and expect. So much is going on in this petite package of chaos that it demands the expertise of a psychologist to figure it out, or at least a judge to determine if Hendrixson is insane. Readers may question whether this ex-English teacher has gone completely postal and contemplate if it is wise to let the man roam around our country’s capital. Given the other influences in society, your children are probably safe, but you might want to censor their music selection because clearly Michael Jackson inspires unhealthy life choices.(less)
3.5 stars Starfish Girl is a sub-genre stew, a slathering of ingredients from urban fantasy, surrealism, sci-fi, steampunk, dystopia and bizarro. Bene...more3.5 stars Starfish Girl is a sub-genre stew, a slathering of ingredients from urban fantasy, surrealism, sci-fi, steampunk, dystopia and bizarro. Beneath the sea and under a dome a band of mutants set out on a journey to the surface. Turning cogs, evil doctors, Victorian-like whore houses and a remote population of clowns are discovered along the way by a naive girl and her urban fantasy tough street-wise protector. This is the cast of the future and only 20 are allowed to make it out alive. The story is narrated in the present tense. Usually this narrative decision is made to accelerate immediacy, emotion and action. However, in this case observations take on a mechanical, detached tone, which creates distance, making the introduction of characters involved in the beginning scenes confusing (starfish girl, shark man, man with such and such ect). This may have been the aim of the author, but I was not a fan of the approach. The present tense shifts to the main characters, and when it does, I begin to get into the story. The perspective of Timbre (tough girl) and Ohime (starfish girl) provides a more intimate voice and to my relief, leans away from the 'reporting' of details that I felt in the beginning. However, when writing in the present tense a problem can arise, how to communicate past or provide background. Bits of this come into play mid-way through and although I wish it was given earlier (Timbre's), it was executed in a way that reminded me of comic book flashbacks. Some readers will dig this, while others may not. It will come down to personal taste. Lastly, I really wasn't sure what to think about Ohime. I had a hard time grasping if this girl was slow, mentally-challenged or what, but I think she was just supposed to be gullible. Given that Ohime was fifteen and menstruating, I had a tough time reconciling her childlike dialogue and behaviors as being merely a consequence of a sheltered life. Maybe I'm too jaded and narrowed by my own life experiences.(less)
If Salvador Dali were to comment on the meaningless of a college degree he might be inspired to paint a flying toaster getting whacked by a horse dild...moreIf Salvador Dali were to comment on the meaningless of a college degree he might be inspired to paint a flying toaster getting whacked by a horse dildo. Steele makes excellent use of the literary device, non sequitur, in his comedic quest to save humanity in Felix and the Sacred Thor. This is not just a story about sex toys, but a commentary on modernism, social culture, education and the pursuit of greater things. And yes, the dirty underbelly of the retail world where receipts are optional and no customer should be allowed to borrow scissors. In between laughs, I was thinking about what humanity is really doing. Are they going through the motions of the mundane, or is anyone really using their strengths for a greater good. Deep, I know. Another aspect that I enjoyed was the use of objects and twisting the meaning that has already been assigned to said object. A dildo is a sex toy until you make (use) it for something else. In this case, a weapon to save the world. It's amazing how quickly when new meaning is applied, the taboo of the object dissolves. In the end, words are just letters put together in a certain order. The power comes from what we impose on it, the meaning we give it, and realizing each person possesses the power to change it can be mind blowing. (less)
The names have been changed to protect the not so innocent in Craig Machen's coming-of-age memoir Still Life With Brass Pole. If this were set in the...moreThe names have been changed to protect the not so innocent in Craig Machen's coming-of-age memoir Still Life With Brass Pole. If this were set in the 19th century the main character (Craig) would be an ideal rake, and his familiar behavior equal to a royal norm. However, this is contemporary, and with it comes the dys in functional. The narrative from the get-go is delivered in a direct, no-nonsense beating. Oh, it's heartfelt -- but for those who require their memoirs be delivered with kid gloves in purple prose and with kind, clearly marked reminiscing flashbacks -- get off the train now because it's about to derail. Machen offers little or no excuse in his re-telling and by doing so, elevates the authority of the story while spreading blame evenly. It's this insightful manner and self-reflection that drives the disastrous journey toward a white-light of hope ending. Many will be able to relate to the stumble and bumble through early life account and embarrassing anecdotes of underwear. It'll make you scratch your head while conjuring wise, old phrases like, 'everything happens for a reason,' and 'I had to go through the things I did to arrive where I am.' It might even inspire you to break out into a soulful rendition of 'My Way,' the Sid Vicious version. I must say I walked away from the book more of a genius than when I arrived. I like to thank Machen, for now I truly understand the complex and self-destructive muck bubble of Eminem and Kim Mathers relationship (and all those suffering a similar fate). We all want to rescue and be rescued -- who doesn't fantasize about becoming a hero to someone? If you've ever asked, "Why do girls date (insert expletive)? Why do they go for the bad guy? Or reversa if you willa -- this book is for you. It should answer the question and if you're still confused by the end, go to the beginning and start all over because obviously you weren't paying attention!(less)
Crude, rude, and basically screwed is how I'd describe the all-star cast of Nether. This lovable bunch is as entertaining as a Walmart during Christma...moreCrude, rude, and basically screwed is how I'd describe the all-star cast of Nether. This lovable bunch is as entertaining as a Walmart during Christmas. If you're like me, you can't stop watching or in this case, reading. Fans of bizarro and dark comedy will likely dig this roller coaster from Hell. This strange, comedic adventure is a surreal journey that tests the absurdity of humanity while also questioning the after-life. What is beyond? What if we don't like it and want to come back? And best of all, how do I win the after-life sweepstakes?! Burklin isn't sure he even wants to anymore, especially after a string of ordeals, his crappy boss and the shitty job he has to do. All of this has him questioning whether any of it is really worth it. Also, he has one other small problem-- his soul is trapped inside his pet dachshund, Pearl. If he wants to live he better be a good owner at take care of her. Pearl is my favorite character in the book and had me laughing. I am a sucker for animal humor. Besides, I have my own Pearl who goes by the name, Ruby. Ironically, even though my dog doesn't talk, (well, not to anyone but me) I've often imagined her acting and saying similar stuff. Nether does contain sexual content but it is more humorous than sensual. It's like picturing the patrons of a Waffle House getting it on. Yeah, you might laugh until you gag---it's grossly funny. Like many satirical writers, Beymer makes use of stereotypes and at times, takes them to extremes. The use of this technique is for social criticism purposes. It's meant to illuminate shortcomings through ridicule and hopefully by doing so, demand reflection for improvement, whether it is societal or individual. (less)
I recommend this philosophically humorous absurdist story that questions all that is organized religion and pokes much fun at bureaucracy. Okay, most...moreI recommend this philosophically humorous absurdist story that questions all that is organized religion and pokes much fun at bureaucracy. Okay, most of my friends will like it!(less)
In this misery loves company tale, Gary is a living philosophical conundrum. Picture a mutant Dicken's orphan traveling with the strangest carnival on...moreIn this misery loves company tale, Gary is a living philosophical conundrum. Picture a mutant Dicken's orphan traveling with the strangest carnival on earth whom is just trying to make sense of the world and get lucky. Abandonment, work conditions, objectification and sexualization of just about anything with legs (tables, chairs, couches ect.) are all thematic endeavors worth exploring, or at least, thought-provoking concepts that appear in the text. In traditional fashion, these arrive on the page through humor and absurdism, which makes them fantastically palatable, easy to chew and slippery to swallow.(less)
This is not your average sweet American tale about a young man's journey for redemption. No seriously, it's not even close to that...it's better and m...moreThis is not your average sweet American tale about a young man's journey for redemption. No seriously, it's not even close to that...it's better and much more hilarious. My advice is to strap on a pair of Depends undergarments or just read while on the pot because you're going to laugh so hard you'll pee. I'm not sure how Katzman's does it, but his tongue-in-cheek humor is effortless and plays on so many expressions that we've grown up with, listened to, and as children wondered what the hell does that even mean, and when no one can explain, we resign. My favorite parts include the action-interrupting phone calls from Mom, with Dad on the other line. Oh Jesus, if this doesn't make milk come out your nose until you blow milky snot bubbles, I don't know what will! Check your pulse, because obviously a mime has turned you into a humorless zombie during a commercial break. If you don't 'get it' you're probably not old enough and it's past your bedtime anyways. So what do I really think? It's Christmas in July. Go out, or order this book online and stuff it in the stockings of every relative and co-worker. Better yet, display it on your coffee table so your in- laws have something to browse when they visit. Everyone knows a sense of humor is the most attractive attribute and owning this book will prove yours to all!(less)
Imagine a mash-up of MTV's iconic Beavis and Butthead meets gumshoe noir on a crazy trip through the set of Miami Vice (the Everglade years). This is...moreImagine a mash-up of MTV's iconic Beavis and Butthead meets gumshoe noir on a crazy trip through the set of Miami Vice (the Everglade years). This is one badass, non-stop thrill ride that will have you zigzagging all over the state of Florida. Who else can master dark comedy, crime thriller and state history better than Tim Dorsey? Electric Barracuda is a shining example of classic absurdist fiction. It focuses on the experiences of characters and their seemingly meaningless actions and events. By making use of dark humor, abasement of reason and bizarre philosophy, Dorsey opens a peep hole into American culture. The characters are amusing, fully-developed, inventive and most of all, the events are a fast-paced blast that will have the reader laughing until they weep (and then questioning whether the author was sober at any stage of the writing process). Of course, in this case, it's a good thing. An untamed ride ensues mingling past and present, which are in continual conflict. This instigates an appeal to the nature vs. nurture theory (I'll let readers chew on that for a while). To say this is just a satire is too simplistic and would be a crime against literature and possibly a felony against humanity. Did I go too far? True of most absurdist fiction, Electric Barracuda is deeply thematic and creatively communicative. The moral is not explicit and allows the reader to reflect and come to their own conclusion. The world is a dirty, gritty place and doing something wrong for the right reasons is so very forgivable and enduring. Tim Dorsey has earned his way onto my fan shelf. I'll be reading more twisted tales by this author soon.(less)
Simon is like most of us, he wants to be someone someday. And like most of us, he can’t help but constantly judge, assume, hypothesize, condemn, envy...moreSimon is like most of us, he wants to be someone someday. And like most of us, he can’t help but constantly judge, assume, hypothesize, condemn, envy and pity (just to name a few) people of the world. You’re probably judging me right now thinking who does she think she is accusing me of such things? I think I am the all seeing, all knowing writer of this review! Forgive me I digress! Simon Burchwood is a reflective character that forces a reader to look at the shameful, dirty parts of our humanity. Can he help who he is? No more than any of us can. His perception is comical and ironic as well as sadly maddening because of its truth. Perhaps, not our truth, but nevertheless the truth according to Simon Burchwood’s world and just in case you doubt what he says, he’ll kindly punctuate the wisdom he shares with a ‘it’s true.’ This is key because near the beginning the reader is told this is a dream and that we’re not to forget – but you can’t help but forget. It’s debatable and when the ‘dream’ plot is used well (which it is) it can be thematically complicated in a mind-melt sort of way. In addition, there is plenty of evidence peppered throughout the story to support one way of thinking or another. I particularly zoned in on the possibility of dream symbolism and how it could be analyzed and applied to what was happening in Simon’s life. Is any of it real or is Simon’s journey to the Barnes & Noble flagship store in New York just a really messed up fantasy?
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