It’s that time of year again, folks. Time to roll out this year’s new bizarro author’s via the NBAS (New Bizarro Authors Series) and if this book is a...moreIt’s that time of year again, folks. Time to roll out this year’s new bizarro author’s via the NBAS (New Bizarro Authors Series) and if this book is any indication, then I’d say this bunch is the grittiest and most bizarre yet.
You see, I just finished reading Jamie Grefe’s THE MONDO VIXEN MASSACRE and never before have I read something so gruesome. In the first fifteen pages or so, our hero – Schoolteacher Tom, is being tortured to death…well, almost to death. Despite being beaten, battered, fed (yes, fed), scrubbed, sliced, whipped, [insert the most bizarre form of torture you can think of, it’s here…believe me – Grefe has covered every track], etc, etc, etc, Tom is still kicking and mad as all hell.
And if that’s not enough, his son is ripped apart in front of him and his wife is taken away from him…oh, then his house caves in on him. BUT IT’S OKAY, cause our hero Tom doesn’t let it get him down. He’s one tough mutha. And besides…Schoolteacher Tom doesn’t get sad, he gets EVEN.
Without giving too much away, Tom goes on a quest to save his wife (whether or not she is even alive at this point is unknown to him, but he won’t settle for not knowing) and to seek revenge on the brutal, monster-hearted vixens that threw his life in shambles.
THE MONDO VIXEN MASSACRE is an ultraviolent, over-the-top B-movie turned book turned B-movie, featuring the grittiest, most resilient hero ever written (more resilient than even John McClane, if you can believe it). Grefe is a shoe-in for a career writing bizarro fiction. He’s got chops, for sure. Do your part in helping him sell some books so we can all see what else this madman has up his sleeve. Do we dare ask?(less)
It’s Sunday night and I just cracked open my first beer of the evening. I need it – not because of the two baskets of dirty laundry staring at me from...moreIt’s Sunday night and I just cracked open my first beer of the evening. I need it – not because of the two baskets of dirty laundry staring at me from across the room, and no, not because I just finished a massive assignment for one of the four classes I am taking this semester (although both of those things are true and very real) – but because I feel I have just trudged through the soupiest swamp of a fleshy, living land I’ve ever experienced and somehow lived to tell the world about it. This land I speak of is the remarkable creation of an author named Gabino Iglesias and can be found in his first novel, GUTMOUTH.
GUTMOUTH is the tale of a man who, yeah you guessed it, has a mouth smack dab in the center of his gut. This sounds amusing, and is at first, but the character (yes, it is a totally separate character, regardless of the fact that the two share the same body) is revealed to be a pretty terrifying individual. Without giving away too much, the basic plot has the protagonist seeking revenge on his gutmouth after the wretch does something completely unforgiveable.
What I love most about this story is the clever way the author weaves the classic (unrefined) elements of a bizarre tale (strange setting, odd characters, twisted plot, body horrors, etc) with intelligence (the author is clearly a man who is well read in psychology, philosophy, and literature).
GUTMOUTH is more than just an entertaining bizarro novel; it’s an adventure that lasts long after it’s 100 pages. Highly recommended for those who like a little brains with their bizarro.(less)
It took me a year to read this. It's an interesting read that most will dismiss as pure trash, but underneath the text, buried beneath many subtle lay...moreIt took me a year to read this. It's an interesting read that most will dismiss as pure trash, but underneath the text, buried beneath many subtle layers of social commentary, is a story that defines a generation - the Applebee's generation. The story begins with a man eating five cheeseburgers from McDonald's. He is standing in an elevator with the only African American that appears in the entire 1,500 pages. They barely say anything to each other and the African American goes away. Neither character is affected by the other. This exchange is pure filler that only exists as a way of showing how the man in pleated khakis interacts with individuals who are not within his smallish comfort zone. The man eats all five cheeseburgers, leaving no room for fries or for Applebee's, forcing him to only enjoy the consumption of alcohol during this first (of many) visits to the famous hometown restaurant. He meets up with a friend of his, a man who shares an odd talent - they can remove their penises and swap them out with one other. This is why the book is called DICK SWAP, I'm guessing.
I don't want to ruin the book for those who haven't read it, but they exchange penises and one of the penises becomes lost (or stolen - it wasn't clear exactly what happened). They get mad at each other and look all over the place for the drag queen they think stole it. They go to her house a couple of times and never find her there. They drive from New York to California to find it. They don't find it. They decide to become famous. They don't get famous. They move to Texas. They don't really like living in Texas, but they do it anyway. The drag queen is there. She loves the guy that lost his friend's dick. They get married. The dickless friend moves out, still dickless. His friend now has two dicks in his relationship and he has none and is alone and homeless.
It took me a year to read this because I read one word every day for an entire year. Andy Boring is okay. I may or may not read his next book. Depends if I have time for it or not. I might not. But then again, I might. Do I think you should read this? Not sure. Do you think you'll like it? If so, then yes, I think you should read it. If not, then no, avoid this book because it is exactly as I just described. I painted a pretty good picture of it, I think. Not literally though.(less)
This journal (with interviews) gives us some insight into how the man views the world, or more importantly his mission in this world. It's admirable t...moreThis journal (with interviews) gives us some insight into how the man views the world, or more importantly his mission in this world. It's admirable to see a person with his passion, but there are not any significant moments that really stand out here. I'm looking forward to more from HR, though. There's enough here to show he has a story or more in him. (less)