Perpetuates every wrong thing that society does to oppress mi**spoiler alert** TRIGGER WARNINGS: homophobia, transphobia, incestuous voyeurism, voyeur
Perpetuates every wrong thing that society does to oppress minorities. And don't say "oh but they meant to do that to show just how bad it is"—NO. If you wanted to show how bad it is, you don't do it like this. You lay down the problem, you confront the problem, you fix the problem with yourself. Not help your buddy watch your lesbian sister have sex with another woman and then watch with your friend. NO. That's deplorable and absolutely disrespectful. And then pretending to be trans to get into a girl's pants?
He gets the girl in the end despite her specifically saying she's a lesbian and doesn't like penises. This just reinforces the idea that the cis white guy gets the girl and can change a lesbian's mind. That doesn't happen in real life and it's really disrespectful towards lesbians. Now guys are gonna read this or hear about it and think "dude, I'm gonna just go for it and keep sexually harassing this girl because my dick will change her mind."
Bottom line: if you don't know how to write about being part of the LGBTQQIAP community in a respectable way, then you can fuck the fuck off....more
This is the favorite cookbook in my family's house. We love how flavorful and diverse the recipes are without being overwhelming. Each dish has its owThis is the favorite cookbook in my family's house. We love how flavorful and diverse the recipes are without being overwhelming. Each dish has its own double-page spread, one displaying the beautiful food and the other displaying the recipe as well as visual instructions right under the directions. You'll find food from pastas to mackerels to pizzas to cheesecakes. I plan on making every dish in this book. It's great.
Many of the recipes in this book are very concise, taking up no more than a quarter of a page and the images of the dishes look very appetizing. The bMany of the recipes in this book are very concise, taking up no more than a quarter of a page and the images of the dishes look very appetizing. The book introduced the many diverse types of pastas the chef would be cooking with. It gave me a lesson on Italian pastas—had no idea there were so many different kinds, let alone the names. I also enjoy how light the dishes are; the creamier dishes are some of my favorites. Definitely comes highly recommended for a romantic night in or a casual hangout. Very easy to follow and good recipes to try out in the kitchen.
This was published in 1980 so some of the recipes may be outdated but they can still be very relevant for a nice meaty dinner and/or appetizers. It doThis was published in 1980 so some of the recipes may be outdated but they can still be very relevant for a nice meaty dinner and/or appetizers. It doesn't always contain pictures but each recipe is concise and reasonably simple if you want a hearty meal. Obviously, it's not vegetarian-friendly; there's also some dairy-heavy stuff in here as well.
(excuse blurriness; it's from my potato phone)...more
As dated as this is (1984), I really like the instructional process at the beginning of the book like boiling and threading candy mixtures that you seAs dated as this is (1984), I really like the instructional process at the beginning of the book like boiling and threading candy mixtures that you see in many candy stores, dipping, molding, pulling taffy, and wrapping and storing western candies. There are a lot of See's-grade candy recipes in this that are still relevant. I've learned how to make mint chocolates, peanut brittle, caramels, toffees, etc. It's delicious and there's visuals for most of the recipes. Definitely recommended as a book for beginning-intermediate candy-making.
I would follow these recipes for the western meals and the desserts. There's even a directional section on how to make your own tofu at home which I eI would follow these recipes for the western meals and the desserts. There's even a directional section on how to make your own tofu at home which I enjoyed. However, the chef packed a lot of tofu meals—almost an overwhelming amount—that included recipes from many cultures. I've lived my life making, eating, and living around Asian cuisine. There are a few East Asian dishes featured in here and I'd like to say that there are many other ways to make your Korean Barbeque Tofu, Foo Young, and wantan significantly tastier other than just adding tofu and soy sauce. Like I said, I'd make western foods and some of the Mediterranean cuisines that this book offers from salads to soups, from souffles to ice cream. But I'd look elsewhere for East Asian dishes.
Loads of images and quick-fix recipes as well as fancy entrees. There are also recipes for light appetizers and dessert but I wouldn't go looking hereLoads of images and quick-fix recipes as well as fancy entrees. There are also recipes for light appetizers and dessert but I wouldn't go looking here specifically for any, especially with the internet around. There was also some background and imagery on Italy's history which I found unnecessary because I just want food but to others, it may be interesting. Though she also goes into detail about Italy's modern culture which is very vibrant and beautiful. Everything is complete with photographs; some of the recipe photos don't show up as well as others. This was published in 1988 so there are better cookbooks but this isn't bad.
*some vegetarian-friendly and fewer vegan-friendly recipes
(excuse blurriness; it's from my poopy phone)...more
TRIGGER WARNING: ableism (mistreatment/misinformation of mental disability), anti-choice (anti-vagina's reproductive health agenda), frivolous misuseTRIGGER WARNING: ableism (mistreatment/misinformation of mental disability), anti-choice (anti-vagina's reproductive health agenda), frivolous misuse of cutting/depression, whitesplaining (white privilege; ex: protagonist wastes her parent's money+time by going to a different school because it'll piss them off—something little to no poc could ever afford to do), misogyny (purity myth), classism (working class are like beggars).
Nenia's review explained every detail better than I could. Go check it out if you're really interested....more
The synopsis sounds an awful lot like a Mass Effect fanfic (Mass Effect is a video game for those who don't know)...
When her father died, Commander SThe synopsis sounds an awful lot like a Mass Effect fanfic (Mass Effect is a video game for those who don't know)...
When her father died, Commander Shepard Lucy Mae Estmond became an elite combat specialist inherited the family business.
The soul eating Reapers have been a plague upon the Earth,
(hey there! meet the Reapers, the main antagonist, wreaking havoc on Earth. just a hobby ya know)
and leaving the Keepers as the only thing that stands between Heaven and Hell.
(these cute little things are called Keepers; they protect people by running the systems)
The factions despise each other and have warred for generations.
(been fighting Reapers since the earliest indication of life—Protheans. here you see one being hugged by flames created by their friendly neighborhood Reapers)
Then Commander Shepard Lucy discovers an ancient Prothean beacon legend predicting the arrival of the Chosen One, destined to bring forth an end to the Reapers.
The surprises continue when she realizes she is that person.
When she meets [whoever the player chooses to romance; I chose Garrus Vakarian] Jack Walker, they both realize they have an insane, mutual attraction.
Whatcha think, Garrus? Sound similar to an amazingly complex story you're a part of?
We'll see! I wanna read it in hopes that it's not a Mass Effect fanfic. The evidence is pretty damning but I hope the story is more relative to Death Reapers and not the destructive, menacing, heartless Reapers that you see in Mass Effect under the guise of Grim Reapers like so many other fanfic authors have done (*cough*Cassandra Clare and EL James*cough*)....more
It's fair to say that you're a mean person, Cassandra Clare. You are unoriginal, unimaginative, and undeserving of your claim to fame after the misogynistic way in which you treat women, whether they're "your" works of fiction or in real life or on the internet.
Torture porn (glorification and romanticizing of blood, gore, and violence) is disgusting, regressive, and aides in the desensitization of humanity. ITorture porn (glorification and romanticizing of blood, gore, and violence) is disgusting, regressive, and aides in the desensitization of humanity. I am so sick of people worshiping and making a celebrity out of white murderers for killing children (re: the killing of Trayvon Martin and school shootings) and friendzoned assfaces. It's books like this that I believe we need stronger regulation on the shit people read. The manga industry has better trigger warnings and labels than American publishing companies. We've got NONE! Get with the program, people!...more
As soon as I get on a computer, a review will come with one of my most favorite scenes ever in a badTRIGGER WARNING: self-harm, misogyny, rape culture
As soon as I get on a computer, a review will come with one of my most favorite scenes ever in a bad fiction. Honestly cannot believe this got its own page on Goodreads but kinda awesome that it did....more
PROS: - I freakin' love Penny, the nerdy best friend. She's adorable, self-possessed, and is as sexual as she wants to be. - Natalia (protagonist) likPROS: - I freakin' love Penny, the nerdy best friend. She's adorable, self-possessed, and is as sexual as she wants to be. - Natalia (protagonist) likes purple. My best friend and my boyfriend loves purple.
CONS: - BAD WRITING It's bad X-Men/Heroes/Matrix fanfiction. There was an enormous radioactive spill that affected people worldwide yet there were no fatalities, no environmental impact, and no setbacks. People got superpowers or developed an extra eyeball and technology is supposedly super duper advanced. Natalia's parents are brutally murdered in front of her (from which she never exhibits PTSD from or anything) and she is adopted and admitted into Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters the Talented Organization for Extremely Interesting Citizens (aka TOXIC)...
Might as well come out and call the organization EVIL. Her mentor, Mac, is less like Xavier and more like Magneto. It could have been a cool twist had she not dropped a bajillion hints that were as subtle as a firecracker.
She spends all of her time whining, crying, worrying about boys, and all the other characters are two-dimensional. Natalia is also an exact combination of Charles Xavier (telepathy), Jean Grey (telekinetic), and Eden McCain (mental persuasion). Making characters overpowered creates no conflict, no suspense, and it creates a detachment between them and the reader. That's one reason why this book was so boring, in addition to the excessive amount of exposition. There's no world building and no character development. Not to mention, she'd shift from first person to second person and break the fourth wall. NEVER DO THAT!!!
The writing is just plain bad. In the ways of "I cannot English" and "this is actually a fanfic" but "I can string words together to make you fall asleep." And I've used this book to fall asleep a few times. It works!
There is a shitload of repetition. Here's the word count for phrases/words she can't go without: blue: repeated 10 times in TWO CONSECUTIVE SENTENCES!! communicate: 58 mental ("mental connection, I mentally said"): 178 mind ("I opened my mind"): 247 [feelings] washed over me: 28 willed ("I willed the door open"): 105
Quotes of the awkward writing:
The practice was intense, charged with unspoken anger (Erik), anxiety (Henri), and nerves (me). --- "Because every girl talks about him! He's like the closest thing to famous that we have here!?!" --- "WHAT?!?" my mental voice screamed at him. Was he joking?? This was an initiation ritual?? --- She returned his smile with a high-wattage one of her own. --- I may have transferred the pain to [the bad guy] but I was still the one not-so-slowly bleeding to death.
That last quote there. Natalia transferred the pain she felt from a fresh bullet wound to someone else. If you want real conflict that the audience can relate to, don't make your main character so fucking overpowered. Save it for an epic final battle. Not when they're fighting cardboard dummies and simulations. This was not good writing. She's always able to do something new when it's convenient for her.
[after finding her boyfriend sleeping with another woman] Feelings of betrayal and pain swirled inside of me, fighting to get out. Thunder boomed, rods of electricity streaked across the night sky. A huge explosion reverberated through the cabin, blowing the windows inward and spraying the entire room with shards of glass. ----------- The lead man raised his gun. "NO!" [the bad guy] screamed, but it was too late—the man fired. I deflected the bullets with my mind. He fired again. And again. And again. He emptied the entire clip into the room, but all of his bullets hung uselessly in midair until I let them drop harmlessly to the floor.
Not to nitpick but the even the author's Acknowledgements section wasn't written well. Every single sentence began with "I would like to thank." a;sdflkjas'asd'faksdj.
- SEXISM (femininity) There have been a grand total of FIVE women other than the protagonist out of about ~50 or so characters.
- Penny, the fashionable and nerdy best friend. - The blond woman Natalia's boyfriend cheated on her with. - Natalia's mother—who is murdered in front of her. - Natalia's adoptive mother—who she's uncomfortable around because she showers her with feminine gifts. - The group of fashionista city women that Natalia is uncomfortable being around. Their description sounded a lot like the Capitol citizens in The Hunger Games.
Soooooooo what I got from that was "I hate femininity and if you are a woman, you have to die or I have to hate you. Only got room for one bubbly bestie and that position is filled. Sorry." These authors seriously need to stop demonizing fashion and feminine-coded objects/things and start criticizing the culture for making it a bad thing. Criticize the culture for choosing masculinity over femininity. And yes, The Hunger Games—of my favorite series of all time—is guilty of this as well. MovieBob did an amazing video on our culture of femmephobia in his video, "Pink Is Not The Problem." You all should really check it out. He does a great critique of 300 and The Hunger Games.
This book gets negative points for shaming women for not being "natural." The character prided herself in having "natural purple-blue eyes" and it was mentioned every fucking opportunity she had. Please, Dita von Teese, lay it down for us:
If people are going to market harmless products for women to use, women should not be shamed and made to feel shitty for using and enjoying it. So you can fuck the fuck off with your "natural is better" bullshit.
There was also a rape culture-perpetuating scene where Natalia was drunk and Erik (love interest) almost has sex with her but stops himself because she's drunk. I was really, really proud of the message...until she whined, cried, and then threw a tantrum because she was literally begging for sex. Just...no. Then it took the potentially good message of "hey, don't take advantage of irrational drunk people" further away by making him sad about being rebound so that the audience feels bad for him instead of the fact that he almost took advantage of her drunk ass. I don't understand life anymore *facedesk.
Natalia was creepy as fuck too—and not because she has PTSD from witnessing her parents' brutal murders as a child—she doesn't have PTSD or exhibit any signs of being disturbed by it. She would purposefully "invade" (literally her words, not mine) people's privacy by reading their thoughts—even against their will. It nearly killed her ex-boyfriend at one point. To justify it, people can read Natalia's thoughts as well when she "opens her mind" to read theirs but nobody does. She spends most of her time invading other people's thoughts when her "mind is open."
Writing your character as constantly whiny, angry, sociopathic, boy-obsessed, and overpowered is not interesting. It's regressive, boring, and creepy.
- RACISM (whitewashing) The protagonist is described as having "olive-toned skin" and "wild dark curls." Lots o' y'all white authors seem to not know what that is so lemme show you:
What "olive skin and wild dark curls" actually looks like:
Versus what most white authors (including this one) think it looks like:
I think you get the picture. You can't just make like Jackson Rathbone and say you'll put on a tan either. By doing that, you just waste another opportunity for a person of color to be visible and represented. Other than the protagonist, there wasn't another person of color in this thing. Shame on you.
It's safe to say I won't be reading the sequel.
"...he pulled away from the kiss just long enough to pull his shirt over his head, and I stared in amazement as his muscles rippled with even the smallest movement" ...more
First chapter: Stalking, voyeurism, and male entitlement.
I'm not gonna go into detail because gigantic trigger warning. This might float some women'sFirst chapter: Stalking, voyeurism, and male entitlement.
I'm not gonna go into detail because gigantic trigger warning. This might float some women's boats but, reading from a man's point of view about controlling a woman for the rest of her life without her knowledge, doesn't float mine. The sex is awesome but everything else about this book creeps me the hell out. Not worth it....more
I thought Ana's inner goddess would be some glorious deity who'd emerge to smite all evil grey things. Sadly, that didn't happen.
Wishes aside, there
I thought Ana's inner goddess would be some glorious deity who'd emerge to smite all evil grey things. Sadly, that didn't happen.
Wishes aside, there are plenty of superb 1-star reviews here so I will limit this down to what the book essentially is. In a sentence: a "Beauty and the Beast" story (now with more misogyny!) written through the eyes of both Ana (not very friendly to other ladies and is very self-deprecating) and Christian (abusive because he's emotionally stunted; I shouldn't even have to elaborate) with even more irresponsibly written sex scenes under the guise of it being BDSM.
Despite what people think, the submissive person has all the power in the relationship. The sub decides what the couple can and cannot do and they decide when it's gone too far. Not the dominant person. James's portrayal of the reverse is inaccurate and disrespectful towards the BDSM community—it just further perpetuates that aggressive people don't have to listen to their victims. This isn't PunishTube jfc.
James clearly didn't do her research before writing this shitty Twilight fanfic monstrosity because if she did, she would know that BDSM emphasizes the safety and comfort of all parties involved before engaging in any activity. Oh, let's not forget that EL James blocks every single victim of abuse who approaches her about her triggering fanfic, even going as far as calling these victims of abuse trolls and witches. If that doesn't tell you how much she doesn't know or care about domestic abuse, then I don't know what the fuck will honestly.
Like its inspiration, it raises nearly every single red flag on every domestic violence checklist ever. To conclude, James gets 0/5 stars for the worst written mainstream fanfic to date.
ETA: I'm running a blog called Fifty Shades of Abuse which works to better educate people about safe sex and undo James's frivolous use of domestic violence in her work. There's also some Fifty Shades shenanigans so you can pop by for that!...more
If I were to describe this novel in a gif, it'd be this:
First, the good stuff. It's a fun, silly, entertaining, fast-paced, somewhat action-packed eaIf I were to describe this novel in a gif, it'd be this:
First, the good stuff. It's a fun, silly, entertaining, fast-paced, somewhat action-packed easy read. There's an interesting concept where a city is divided into five factions that represent a virtue of the society that created the new standard of living to dispel evil. AND THERE'S NO LOVE TRIANGLE!!!!
That's it. Now the bad...
First, this book needs trigger warnings so...BOOK TRIGGER WARNINGS: flippant use of suicide, racism, misogyny (body shaming, male entitlement, girls hating girls, damsel in distress).
How is there still modern religion in a utopian society that has no necessity for it? Roth never went into detail about religion or spirituality in her world of factions so it was weird that her characters continuously alluded to a Christian/Catholic deity and even mentioned a baptizing. I don't know how long her society dates back but it must be more than 50-70 years considering how easy it was for each member to accept and adapt to their utopian society. It seems that they have been adjusted to it for a long time so a religion like Christianity doesn't fit in this kind of framework. Anomalies like this breaks immersion.
The body shaming is absolutely unreal in this book, especially to the women. Actually, now that I think about it, it was only women's bodies Roth demonized. Besides making a villain of people who enjoy piercings and tattoos, female antagonists were written with perfectly fine physical human traits that were exaggerated to make the women seem uglier. Because a woman having stretch marks or a muscular body or teeth that isn't as straight or white as a Disney star's is extremely unrealistic, unattractive, and unheard of /sarcasm. Let's not forget how Roth kept reminding us that Tris (the female protag) is just a small and weak little girl over and over and over again. Totally doesn't perpetuate any sexist standards like the "damsel in distress" trope or that women aren't allowed to take up as much space as a guy. Hence, her weakness and smallness to create multiple environments for a strong man to swoop in and save her. I hate damsel in distress stories. If she's so weak, how is she 1st rank overall after failing to be top-rank during the first round? It doesn't make sense, especially because she only got top rank during the second round. It also doesn't make sense to constantly use her smallness as a weakness, especially after her smallness was established as a strength. It's fine to be weak and accept help but deliberately writing a female character as weak for the convenience of your male characters, whether they're saving her or abusing her, is not okay.
Speaking of perpetuating ridiculous standards, this next piece of conversation is a doozy:
"Can you be a girl for a few seconds?" "I'm always a girl." I frown. "You know what I mean. Like a silly, annoying girl." I twirl my hair around my finger. "'Kay." [commence chat about kissing boys]
Was this really necessary? Stuff like this is out of place and doesn't belong in a society that's supposed to improve upon a flawed one. If I wanted to see girls hating other girls, I'd watch Fox News. I hope to all that is mighty that Roth doesn't do the whole "virgin-whore" complex in any of the sequels 'cause that is one of the reasons why people think this stuff is okay to write. Earlier I called the book "silly" because the "butterflies in the stomach" moments were cute for all the teeny-bopper charm that it was worth but it quickly became "boy obsessed annoyances" that stunted Beatrice's potential to be a stronger character. Let's not try so hard to fail the Bechdel test, please and thank you.
As if internalized misogyny weren't enough for Roth, we've got racial ambiguity and a whole lot of colorblindness going on. She makes it perfectly clear who is blond, blue-eyed, and white but racial ambiguity is all up in that brief "dark-skinned" description. Come ooooon, people of color aren't difficult to write. Look at a picture of a person of color, copy & pasta features, and you're finished—straight blond hair to curly black hair, blue-eyed to brown-eyed, alabaster skin tone to deep mahogany skin tone. And no, "flesh tone" doesn't cut it 'cause that's worse than anything else. Things like "dark skin" tend to fly by readers who are more prone to colorblindness aka averse racism (re: Hunger Game's Rue character). I'd imagine post-apocalyptic societies understand not to be racist and sexist buttfaces better than our current society does so all this white privilege junk goin' on makes no sense unless a white supremacist power took over. Then it needs to be made clearer.
Oh yeah and let's not use suicide so flippantly and call people cowards for it through your main character, Roth. The main characters were just as bad as the antagonists. If anyone here plans on writing in the future, please please please do not fall prey to sexist tropes because 1 woman surrounded by 5 guys isn't progressive (nor is 3 women and 2 guys when 2 ladies end up dead). Don't find reasons to exclude or minimize PoC/WoC representation either 'cause constantly writing a character as half-white and half-non-white isn't progressive either. And don't include depression or suicide if you don't know how to write it without doing your research and being a offensive about it. Thanks.
I have the sequel so I'm gonna give it a go. please please please sequel be better. otherwise ...more
PROS: - Outcasts and minorities have more visibility/representation. - Easy read. - Fairly good depiction of difficult home life. - Couple of nice, puppyPROS: - Outcasts and minorities have more visibility/representation. - Easy read. - Fairly good depiction of difficult home life. - Couple of nice, puppy love feels.
CONS: - Boring, contrived, and typical. - Offensive and exploitative. - Orientalism and fetishism of Asians. - Romanticization in all the wrong places.
COMMENTS: I have a lot of ambivalent feels about this book. Like many, it was recommended to me because I enjoyed The Fault in Our Stars. If you asked someone to describe me, one of the first things they'd say is that I wear my heart on my sleeve. Fabricate a wonderful story about a box named Chandra and I would travel with that character through pain and pleasure. You could make me fall for a charming and compassionate pencil. So if stories don't move me the way they were intended to, it's subpar. E&P is just that: subpar.
I can personally empathize with Eleanor's home situation and I'm glad Rowell brought it up. BUT I'm upset that that's all she did. The author focused on what a vile monster Richie (the abusive stepfather) was and I wished she would've expanded on the family and their struggle with Richie more and less on Eleanor and Park's relationship. It's okay to illustrate teen insecurities—it's difficult growing up, seeing teen love usually doesn't last, and finding who you are, especially in complicated situations. However, that's all this book was about. Too much teen angst topped with social commentary to excuse racist/sexist remarks and token characters. Yes, it's the 80's. Yes, there was a lot more explicit racism. No, that doesn't excuse anything. If you wanna call a character out on racism/sexism, your work should be consistent and there should have been a lot more social commentary than there was. The commentary was so brief in this book, that it felt like the issues were swept under the rug to never be addressed again. Not only that, there were two young black women who never seemed fazed by their white peers. Honestly, the book would've probably been more engaging from their perspective. I guess in Rowell's world, she solved racism #RACISM-OVER.
On top of that, the author romanticized Eleanor's difficult home life by making it a situation for Eleanor to be saved from. Rowell never expanded on their home life with their father, her relationship with her mother, her relationship with her siblings—just focused on her resentment with them. No character growth in that. I also hated the romance between Park and Eleanor. It was so silly and Romeo & Juliet-like in nature. I struggled to believe it. The teenager in me fought to accept it like "AAARGH THEY'RE JUST KIDS!!! THEY CAN BELIEVE IN LOVE!!" But I just couldn't. It was unbearable and too juvenile.
I wonder how many impressionable young women wished to be in Eleanor's position—to pursue a dangerous "love" as a victim of abuse only to have a privileged kpop star-looking guy save them. Proooooobably a lot. Why is it that when white writers plug in a person of color into their stories, the characters have to be half-white and/or a sidekick person of color? Even if it isn't true, I felt like the author plugged a little bit of herself into the story so that she can live out a Korean idol star fantasy.
She also wouldn't let us forget that it was the mid-80's and that Park's mother has a Korean accent. Now, don't get me wrong. I want more books to emphasize on people's characteristics, including speech. If writers wrote as if everyone's English were all American-like, that just perpetuates xenophobic standards. That's exactly how Park felt to me—like he was embarrassed by his mother for not being able to speak better English or for not sounding like his white father. And that would have been fine because the xenophobia runs deep when a child is raised in American culture. But that wasn't a clear issue in the book; nobody's gonna be like "omg her accent is fine and why are you so mean to your mom park she speaks more languages than you jeez." In fact, knowing the demographic, they'd probably chime in and agree with Park or just overlook the detail. BAD WRITING!
I gave it a 2/5 stars because she deserves credit for not romanticizing domestic abusers, teen insecurities, and for hitting so close to home about Eleanor's home life with Richie and her submissive mother. However, she got docked for romanticizing and exploiting that same abuse (halfway through the book) and fetishizing minorities with orientalism. It would have been better to write from Eleanor's mother's point of view or her black sidekick friends. It could have made for a much more powerful and true story of survival and bravery without bringing in Asians to exploit. Next time, I'm going to read the synopsis, listen to my intuition, and ignore pop culture bs written by white people who like to exploit "outcasts" and minorities to make a buck.
Keep your K-pop fantasies in your journal please because this is not okay. ...more