Ilona Andrews has to be my between my most favorite authors because I’ve yet to read one of her books and rate it under four stars. I absolutely love...moreIlona Andrews has to be my between my most favorite authors because I’ve yet to read one of her books and rate it under four stars. I absolutely love this woman. No wait, let me rephrase. I absolutely love this team (since Mr. Gordon is helping with the books as well).
As you probably know, I am not a Romance chick. I actually can say that I kind of hate the Romance genre. I can count on one hand the total number of Romance books I actually liked. But The Edge, my friends… this is the way I like my Romance.
Now yes, I am aware that The Edge novels are not really Romance novels, but a mix of Romance and Urban Fantasy, the latter being a dominant force. And yes, this is why I love them in the first place. Romance books bore the crap out of me because they have no plot. Most of the time. They are cheesy, most of them are porn. They are shallow. They are idiotic. Meh. But when the Romance element is a small part of the novel I am happy because I don’t have to focus on how much each character wants to get in the other one’s pants. They have more important problems to think about. And then when a romantic moment comes I savor it because it’s like a breath of fresh air on a hot summer day. Yes, I am cheesy. I know. Shut up.
So yeah, that’s why I love The Edge so much. I wish I could find more novels like this one. If you guys have any recommendations please feel free to write them in the comments section. Fat Kitty will be very happy.
Oh, just look at that cover! I love it so much!! It was the main reason I got the book, but I’m sure you could already guess that. Too bad it’s too mi...moreOh, just look at that cover! I love it so much!! It was the main reason I got the book, but I’m sure you could already guess that. Too bad it’s too misleading.
When I look at the image I think of a badass Urban Fantasy heroine killing everything that stands in her way of achieving something great and saving the world. As it turns out, The Blood That Bonds is just a typical, and I put it in bold because you can’t get more typical than this, vampire romance story.
It starts in a very interesting manner. We have Two (yes, that is her real name) who ran away from home and ended up a homeless drug addict. Lucky (or not) for her she was taken in by her drug supplier and brutally forced to prostitute herself.
This part was very deep and interesting. But then a mysterious client chooses her as his next.. victim. He is rich, drives a Ferrari and treats her like the lady she never was.
You can probably guess what happens next, right?
The dude turning her into a vamp so that she can be with him forever. Why did he choose her from all the other potential victims out there? I guess we’ll never know.
I’m falling in love with him, she thought, and in love with what he is.
Oh, give me a break! This happens 19% along the way. 19%!!!
This ruins a book for me. The typical I just turned you into a freak because I love you even though I’ve just met you hours ago gig is old and sucks ass. Give me a damn story! Entertain me!!!
Ugh! I don’t think I need to read the book in order to know what happens next.
I’m sorry my dearest people but this is where I bail out. I simply can’t stand these horribly boring stories. (less)
I walked right into this one. I admit it and I know it’s my fault, and I probably deserve what I got. However, that doesn’t mean it makes it less pain...moreI walked right into this one. I admit it and I know it’s my fault, and I probably deserve what I got. However, that doesn’t mean it makes it less painful.
Sweet Evil is the most idiotic book I’ve read this year. And I mean it. I totally mean it. I could tell I was going to regret getting it since page one.
Running had become my new pastime five weeks ago, after I’d read how my body is the “temple of my soul.” Healthy temple: check.
Ok, it’s not THAT bad but I still had a feeling deep down my heart. It was telling me ”Put the book down and walk away.” As you can tell I chose to ignore it.
Aaanyways, lemme tell you what Sweet Evil is all about. So we have this girl Anna. She is goodness personified. An angel. The perfect girl, pure, sweet hearted, kind, shy, invisible, smart, always does her homework, reminds the teacher that she forgot to check the class’ homework, fucking retarded twit. Yes, she is retarded because I sure can’t figure out how a person can behave the way she does. Higgins wanted to create the perfect sweet little heroine. She failed miserably. Why? Because she made her too perfect to the point that she is not perfect AT ALL. Am I making sense?
And yes she does see herself ugly but in reality she is so hot that all the boys from their school want to bang her.
So we have Saint Anna who is a misunderstood little hipster. She has her Bella Swan mood going on, she’s anti-partying, anti-drinking, anti-drugs (even though she practically drools over alcohol and drugs – but that’s her little secret, shhhh), whatever evil thing you may imagine – she’s against it. Did I mention she’s a virgin?
But oh no, she’s far from perfect. I mean she has a freckle!!! At the end of her upper lip!!! And people STARE at it when she talks!!! Ugh eeewww that’s so disgusting!!!!
Oh yes, this makes her a more believable character. SHE HAS FLAWS!!!
“They only think they like me because they don’t know me,” I said.
They don’t know me, no one knows me cuz I’m all deep and stuff.
Yeah, so Saint Anna is a special kind of bird. She has this mood-ring thing going on. You remember those little things? The mood rings? You put it on and it changes color. And you look at a little chart that tells you what that color says about your current mood. It’s actually a fun thing even though it doesn’t really work. I wish it did though. Anyhow, Anna is a big flat chested mood ring. She sees people’s emotions through the colors they are emitting. And she has a superhero olfactory sense.
Being able to hear and see and smell everything within a one-mile radius was major sensory overload.
Then can you sense how overly stinky this book is? Can you Saint Anna???
All is normal and boring in Saint Anna’s life until she goes at a concert and lays her innocent eyes on a devilish drummer. This vile creature breaks the poor girl’s circuits and turns her into a vixen. Oh my!
“That guy, the drummer? Get this. He’s a killer musician, he gets tons of chicks, his dad’s loaded, and as if that wasn’t enough, he’s got a friggin’ English accent!”
Yep, another mysterious handsome rich British-accented teenager. Very original if I do say so myself.
Why do they all have British accents again? Because they’re smexy? And the funny thing is that mostly American authors feel the need to specify that the hottie has a British accent. That adds to their sexiness. I agree that the accent is special but I’m not falling for it anymore because the idea is being overused. Not fun anymore people so move on!
So this dude Kaidan, as you can already tell, is another perfect being. Everyone seems to be perfect in this book. Except for her mum, but I’ll get back to that later. So he seems perfect from every way. Wrong. He is actually a stuck up asshole. A big fat loser. And har-di-har-har he’s a demon that feeds on sex.
I’ve read many books where demons were actually behaving like the mischievous creatures that they are. They don’t even compare to this guy. Teenage visions of hotties. You suck. Except for Daughter of Smoke and Bone’s Akiva. He’s a piece of art.
[about his name] Kai, like Thai, only yummier. Gah! Who was this girl invading my brain?
No, I’m pretty sure that’s the real you. A fucking idiot.
Good gracious, he was sexy—a word that had not existed in my personal vocabulary until that moment.
Right? It makes you wonder how Higgins sees teenagers, does it not.
The purity!! It BUUUUUUUUURNS!!!
I tried to focus on his words and not his luxuriously accented voice, which made everything sound lovely.
Gosh, his eyes were gorgeous—the color of tropical honeymoon waters ringed in dark sapphire and enclosed by thick lashes.
Tropical honeymoon waters you say. Honeymoon. Sex. She’s such a vixen right now.
Oh and by the way he is special too. I forgot to mention this earlier. He has the same mood-ring color bullshit going on as our sweet little Saint Anna. Or at least something similar to that. Useless details that I don’t give a shit about.
Back to the story. So Kaidan is probably there (I’m not 100% sure about this since I dropped the book around 40% of the way) to guide her towards their people, since they have the same traits and all.
Predictability dangerously close to 80%.
“Then what am I?” I asked with apprehension. “Your parents were angels.”
Oh, you’re not joking about that? You’re actually serious?
Why am I not surprised? Why oh why dear heavens?
DANGER! Predictability has reached 100%. Prepare to abort mission.
And the thing is Patti (her mum) knows about Kaidan being a sexual deviant. She’s not her real mum though, our dearest virgin is adopted. But first thing first, a short introduction for Saint Anna’s mum.
/end of introduction
So Saint Anna wants to go meet her real dad who is a bad angel of sorts in order to bla bla bla nothing important. And her mum’s too busy to take a day off (???) so she sends her virgin daughter with Kaidan. On a road trip. The two teenagers alone. For a couple of days. And she comes up with the idea herself.
You’re sending your daughter with a demon and you think she’ll be safe. You go crazy over a party that Saint Anna wanted to attend. You called the parents to make sure the kids will be supervised and all. We wouldn’t want some random jock choke on a glass of beer now, would we? And now the Virgin Anna wants to go out of town with the hottest dude on the planet that happens to be a demon. And you’re ok with it.
That’s great parenting Patti, you should write a book about it.
Eventually they go on the trip and poor Saint Anna is trying her best to avoid being seduced by the sexy Kaidan. She rents one room for both of them, stalks him, kisses him, sees him buck naked the morning after. Next thing you know she’ll be wiggling her ass in front of him and will wonder ”Am I giving the wrong signal?”. Well pumpkin it depends on what kind of signal you’re referring to. You’re currently stuck on the bang me one.
Oh dear lord the cheesiness! It feeds on your brain cells like a drunken leprechaun feeds on four leaf clovers.
A short conclusion? Saint Anna is a fucking idiot, she tries her best to act smart but she fails miserably. Kaidan is the hottest guy on the planet and we keep on getting reminders of that on every page of the book. Patti is the most retarded parent you could ever meet. Predictable. Bullshit. Idiotic. Cheesy. Unoriginal. Boring. Dropped.(less)
Kissing Corpses started as a horrifyingly boring book. It kept being uneventful for almost 40% of the story, and I have to admit that I was close to D...moreKissing Corpses started as a horrifyingly boring book. It kept being uneventful for almost 40% of the story, and I have to admit that I was close to DNF-ing it. But then something unexpected happened. Amy Leigh Strickland barred her teeth and showed us her hatred towards vamps.
Yes, this is totally a vamp hating book. If you love these naughty night creatures, if you have fantasies about banging them and joining them in death, then beware! This book will tear your dreams apart.
Be very afraid!!
However, if you get over the stiff, unnatural characters the story isn’t THAT bad. I mean, yes the main character is a total selfish bitch, yes she gets on your nerves A LOT, but in the end she gets what she deserves.
From a total cruel I hate Bella Swan point of view.
The vamp dude (can’t remember his name worth shit) turns out to be the total opposite of Edward Cullen. He’ll become a blood thirsty psycho. He will kill everything that stands in his way. He will stalk, rape and kill you in order to be with you forever.
Scary Rawdon is scary
But seriously now. I wasn’t seeing the Twilight connections until I’ve read the ”Afterwards” or whatever you call the author’s note at the end of the book.
Well... Saying that Amy Leigh Strickland hates Twilight is an understatement. She actually wrote this book in order to fuck it up. As much as I hate the sparkly vamp story and admire Amy Leigh Strickland enthusiasm, I don’t think I’d go as far as writing a book only to mock a certain phenomenon that’s going on at the moment. No matter how idiotic this phenomenon might be.
But that’s just me.
The ending was cruel but there was a part of me being happy for (view spoiler)[Kendall dying (hide spoiler)]. Even though I had to read the paragraph three times to make sure my mind wasn’t playing tricks one me. Harsh much? Is this the way vamp lovers should end?
Yep, that may be a viable solution for most of them.["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>(less)
Before I start my review I gotta ask, is this the last book in the series? I mean the ending kind of hinted towards that but I’m still not convinced....moreBefore I start my review I gotta ask, is this the last book in the series? I mean the ending kind of hinted towards that but I’m still not convinced. Is book 4 coming out or this is it for Eden and Noah?
Personally I’d prefer for it to end. Why? Because I don’t want Warriors of Ankh to end up like Night Huntress. Kat and Bones are one of my most favorite book couples. But their story going on and on with useless details and events makes me like them less with each page that I read. I don’t want Noah and Eden to suffer the same fate, that’s all.
My problem with Shades of Blood is mostly its predictability. I had some moments with the previous books when I’d feel like Sherlock Holmes for cracking some mysteries in the story but in this one it felt boring. Because everything was too transparent.
Or maybe I’m that good.
Anzu: Hey Evilbot!
Evilbot: What now, human?
A: Did you finish reading Shades of Blood?
E: No I didn't. I said nothing of the sort.
A: But you promised that you'll buddy read it with me!
A: Yes you did! Now tell me why you didn't read it.
E: I bought food while I was there. They don't let you travel internationally with food.
A: What the hell are you talking about?
E: I'm talking about what we both said yesterday.
A: Whatever. What do you think? Will Noah and Eden get another book?
E: Will will will will will will.
A: Don’t you think it will be boring? I mean they’ve already started to lose their spark.
E: The button and the chair have the true church of Christ?
E: Get rich or die trying.
A: Are you serious?
E: Yes. I'm ready to take the next step in this relationship.
A: Do I need to hit you in the head again to make you work properly?
E: Whether you make sense or not, I'll never love you.
Uhm… well now, this wasn’t bad. Not great but also not bad. Callihan is as good as ever, her descriptions being amazing. Fascinating. Totally fascinat...moreUhm… well now, this wasn’t bad. Not great but also not bad. Callihan is as good as ever, her descriptions being amazing. Fascinating. Totally fascinating.
I mean, we get Archer wearing a "gallibaya". Which is spelled "galabeya" b-t-dub (just saying). Just imagine it. Nah, really imagine it. Let me help you.
Not bad, eh?
Sure hope he doesn’t get a rash in that thing. There be ugly rashes out there…
Plus a kufiya! Wilson! Image please!!
Archer the Arabian Prince. Yum!
No? Am I exaggerating again? Nah, we're good girls, we deserve some eye candy from time to time.
The rest of the story is pretty boring if you ask me. Not really interested in anything that goes around. Is it because Archer and Miranda are separated? Maybe. Is it because this is actually a boring story? Maybe. One can never know.
Even though this is book 0 you should probably read Firelight in order to get wtf is going on. If you don't you'd probably be confused throughout the book.
I deeply admire Kristen Callihan for her Firelight book. It was everything I wanted in a paranormal-slash-historical romance. Archer and Miranda were...moreI deeply admire Kristen Callihan for her Firelight book. It was everything I wanted in a paranormal-slash-historical romance. Archer and Miranda were excellent protagonists. The story was decent, and the paranormal element was very interesting. I was having the same expectations about Moonglow. Well, maybe a bit less since I was never a fan of Ian or Daisy.
I’m sad to say that Moonglow is a huge disappointment, and it was obvious since page one that it won’t top Firelight. The story is very weak, unoriginal and too passive most of the time. The only things that I liked- No, wait, it’s actually a single thing that I liked, and this is the Poison Ivy gig going on with Daisy. The rest was mostly about werewolf clan problems, Ian and Daisy always lusting over each other, Winston and Poppy’s "marital problems” and a bit of story thrown here and there. It all left me unsatisfied.
At the end of the book I found a little excerpt from Winterblaze, the next installment in the series. I was not impressed because it was all about how Winston fell in love, no, not love but lust, with Poppy. It had lots of ogling, flirting and an instant erection. Yes, that would totally make me want to buy Winterblaze.
ARC courtesy of Grand Central Publishing via Netgalley(less)
Forbidden Magic is another book that will end up in the trash. Or cut into little tiny pieces. Or a pillow for a homeless person.
Why? Good question my...moreForbidden Magic is another book that will end up in the trash. Or cut into little tiny pieces. Or a pillow for a homeless person.
Why? Good question my friend. Forbidden Magic is similar to playing a RPG game on beginner mode. Everything is just too easy.
Kid: Hey look mom! *wiggles fingers* I just opened a black hole that’s going to eat the planet and kill us all! Mom: Great work dear. Now come on in, dinner’s getting cold.
In the next moment she ran her hand down in the air before her face, drawing a glamour around herself and disappearing from human sight.
Biting her lower lip in concentration, Silver flicked one finger in the air, sending her magic to do her bidding. In the next second she heard the rusty scrape of metal against wood as the latch unfastened.
Just like watching The Disney Channel. Add the typical lust at first sight and we have a cheesy book!
He was one of the most gorgeous men she'd ever seen. A man who made her heart pound, and fire burn in her blood.
I swear I’ll stop continuing any book that has this lust at first sight crap in it. I’m just sick of it!
Another thing that bothered me is the unoriginality of the story and environment. Everything is typical! It’s a sad boring book. And the author is actually trying her best to add depth to the story. Ooooooh yes, she tries so hard. Information Overflow Achievement unlocked!
I actually couldn’t even skim the book till the end. That’s how sad it is. And disgustingly pornographic.
Before I forget. If any chick (witch or whatever) mentions the word “Goddess” during fear, worry, surprise or awe I will punch the b*tch in the face.(less)
So check this out. One day I was just browsing through netGalley. As you know, most of the books there are cheesy, weird or sucky. Usually I go throug...moreSo check this out. One day I was just browsing through netGalley. As you know, most of the books there are cheesy, weird or sucky. Usually I go through the Sci-Fi/Fantasy category because from time to time it gets some cool stuff. Anyway, so I’m going through this, and I see a wonderful fiery cover. And I say what the hell, request the b*tch! So yeah, my main reason for reading this is the damn cover. Congrats cover artist! You managed to trick me!
It could have been worse. At least I enjoyed the book. Yes, my kids, it’s a good book. Follow me if you want to live get more rambling about it.
What can I say about Firelight? My notes are a mess so I’m trying to make the best of it. The first thing I noticed when starting the book is Kristen Callihan’s amazing-omg-drop-dead writing style. I mean whoaaaaah. Really really impressive! Just check this out:
His green house. A little glass jewel hidden away on the roof of the house. The rain rattled hard upon the glass, streaking and pebbling, hiding the world from view. It was kinder here, warm and humid. Filled with potted fruit trees and velvet roses, their fresh scent as thick as the air.
Emptiness pressed upon him as he made his way home. He wanted to collapse, crumple into a helpless ball against the pain of it. Murder tainted his skin and pounded through his veins like a drug, whispering for more; he was losing the battle.
If you’re not impressed then gtfo because these here are some mouth-watering quotes!
And speaking of mouth-watering let me introduce you to Lord Archer. Or Lord Benjamin Aldo Fitzwilliam Wallace Archer, Fifth Baron Archer of Umberslade to be precise.
She lifted her eyes to his face, or where it ought to be. Carved with a Mona Lisa smile upon its lips, a black hard mask like one might wear at Carnival stared back. Beneath the mask, his entire head was covered in tight black silk, offering not a bit of skin to view.
He is a mix between V
And the Phantom
He goes more towards the Phantom is you ask me. There are actually many similarities between these two characters. Plus I liked to imagine Archer as Gerald’s version of the Phantom. *sighs*
The man in the black mask seemed to stand alone, apart from everything.
His voice was a phantom, haunted and alone.
“I don’t want pity.” He glared at the stern visage of the Greek centaur before them. “I’d rather have fear.”
I have a thing for ugly scarred guys. I think beauty is overrated. Sue me.
I have only one problem with Archer. He makes me go like this
Everybody lies. And many freaky things are going on. I wanted answers and I wasn’t getting them.
What is he? Hulk? Is he a god who got banished on earth for seducing a virgin? A mighty hero reborn a century too late? Is he an alien from a distant planet? Or the soul of the planet itself set free to kill as many people as possible in order to avoid the creation of the vile killer plastic? Save the seagulls! Destroy all the plastic!
Wtf are you Archer?? Tell me now!
Uhm what else?
Miranda. Miss Miranda Ellis, firestarter extraordinaire. You have to admit that it has a nice ring to it. Too bad this element wasn’t put to proper use. It had a few good scenes, but I think it could have worked better than this. However, at least I admit that Miranda is not boring like the usual heroines you find in Historical Romances. I know I picked on this before, and I will never stop. I can’t stand chicks that run around hunting for a husband and waste all their day shopping or knitting or god knows what other stupid activities. Why would I want to read a story about that? So thank you Paranormal Romance for existing in this book. You made completing it without skimming, skipping or dnf-ing possible.
Why am I not giving this a higher score? Because something seems to be missing in the story. I didn’t feel happy with the ending, many things felt unfinished, and the epilogue was weird. But I’ll surely read the next book in the series. Kristen Callihan really impressed me, so I’ll be stalking reading her stuff asap.(less)