This rant is for the series so far. Spoilers clearly marked.
Book one took me by surprise. I always thought Black London was a Pranormal Roman...moreThis rant is for the series so far. Spoilers clearly marked.
Book one took me by surprise. I always thought Black London was a Pranormal Romance/Urban Fantasy because of the cover. Sure, the chick isn’t slutty enough and the dude is wearing a shirt but it still looks like a Paranormal Romance cover to me.
Well, I was wrong. This is a pretty neat Urban Fantasy, and let me tell you Caitlin Kittredge can sure write her some badass characters. I mean this woman has a green thumb for demons. Get it? Green thumb for demons?
No, I also don’t get it. Moving on.
The main reason why I love this series is the main characters, Pete and Jack. They are flawed. Their relationship is fucked up, and let me tell you, they get some serious shit throughout these books. This may be a minus for some people. If you want your characters to be Mary Sues then sure, avoid this. You’d probably hate and judge them most of the time. If not then congrats, you have passed the test.
Another interesting thing about this series is the alternating pov. One book is from Pete’s pov, the next is from Jack’s and so on. This took me completely by surprise. I also appreciate the fact that Kittredge can make these two characters feel different so you don’t end up having the same thing in both cases. You know, these times when the only difference between the povs being the constant reminder of a huge erection whenever the guy sees the girl. No, none of that.
And last but not least, the setting. London. Yes, I do have me a love for London. A dark demon infested London is even better. Add some fast paced action, some good villains and decent plots and you get a pretty great series.
I rated the first two books five stars. They truly deserved it. However, book three brought a pretty bad change.
Spoilers start here
(view spoiler)[I don’t know why so many authors have a thing for killing their main character(s). We all know they’ll be brought back one way or another. Well, most of them. George R. R. Martin doesn’t. Lol. Good dude that one. But most of them do and you know they’ll be back. It’s either this or the author gets harassed by raging fangirls and faboys. In Black London’s case the decline started with this because one, I knew Jack will be back and two, he took way more time than needed to be back. Not the first time this happens in a book I’ve read.
Anyways, this thing is not such a big deal. Making Jack a complete different person over a stupid reason is. Minus one star from my rating.
Oh, but I do appreciate the totally “realistic” sex scene that took place in book three. I can hear all those hopeless romantics rolling in their graves already.
Oh, and Pete gets pregnant.
Book four. Jack’s pov. Pete is still pregnant and pretty much useless. My wish for the baby to get horribly murdered is unanswered. Lots of useless pain thrown over Jack for no reason. Pretty decent plot. Kinda. Three stars.
I hate kids. I do. I hate babies even more. And pregnant women. And reading about these two characters keeping the baby and fighting for the future of it and all this shit is not what I wanted from this series. I wanted Pete to be independent and, most importantly, to be herself. I wanted her to kick ass. I wanted Jack to be himself as well. I wanted maybe a better romance between these two or maybe no romance at all. This is completely awkward and boring for me. (hide spoiler)]
The only positive thing is that I have two more books and I’m done with Black London. I do hope I’ll be able to read these two books. I have a feeling that things will get even worse. I do hope I’m wrong. I’d hate to see this series go to waste after all this fun I’ve had with it. ["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>(less)
This was supposed to be a funny review. I was going to read the book, collect my funny quotes, and go wild with it. I couldn’t collect any quotes. I d...moreThis was supposed to be a funny review. I was going to read the book, collect my funny quotes, and go wild with it. I couldn’t collect any quotes. I don’t have the necessary gifs. I am completely unprepared. Why? Because this book is pretty fucked up.
Let me give you a little warning. If you are looking for a silly erotica to make fun of, then walk away. If you want to experiment the new “monster porn” thing, then walk away. This is not for the faint-hearted. Things are pretty messed up.
Ok, no. Things are very messed up. Pun intended.
Virginia Wade is a special butterfly. She obviously doesn’t want to be one of the “typical” erotica authors, so she doesn’t allow herself any boundaries. The point is to shock and disgust. Or arouse, if you’re into that kinda thing.
Cum For Bigfoot, or Moan For Bigfoot, as they call it nowadays, is full of disgusting crap. The main characters are teenage girls, there’s dirty sex with an older guy (who happens to be the father of one of her guy friends – and a married man), kidnapping, forced sex, sex with an animal of sorts (that’s Bigfoot – not just an overly hairy dude, but an animal-like creature), huge penises with tips shaped like tennis balls (tmi, I know, but I went through it and so should you),
(Stfu! I know this is a baseball (ball?) but that's all I got!)
watergun-like sprays of cum,
group sex with the said animal and – dun dun duuuuun – a cliffhanger!
I don’t know if I should be happy or not about this, but I wasn’t as disgusted as you would think. I felt like Wade is trying too hard to shock and I ended up not feeling anything. I wanted it to be funny, I really did, but nope. Big nope. It was boring. Boring and kind of sad. I’m actually thinking of giving #2 a try. I want to see where all this is heading. I hear things about Bigfoot tribes and impregnation. I hope I won’t regret it.
Holla to my girls for reading this masterpiece with me! I hope your stomachs are feeling better.(less)
It’s one thing to bring the woman you love back into your life. It’s another to try and keep her there.
I have one hell of a bad habit. I almost ne...more
It’s one thing to bring the woman you love back into your life. It’s another to try and keep her there.
I have one hell of a bad habit. I almost never read the blurb before starting a book. Yes, I do read it before adding the book to my tbr shelf. I do trust myself completely to know that when a book ends up on my tbr shelf, it’s worth reading. So, again, I do not bother with the blurb because I like to be surprised.
I should have read the blurb for Come Alive.
Come Alive is told from Dex’s POV.
I SHOULD HAVE READ THE BLURB FOR COME ALIVE.
Bah. Too late now.
Ok, so I had no idea this was told from Dex’s POV. No idea whatsoever. I guess this is the most important thing I’ve missed from the blurb. Don’t get me wrong, I loved the other two books that were told from Dex’s perspective, but having too much of it gave me a headache. A whole fucking book from the Dex 2.0’s perspective was a bad idea. Let me tell you why.
First of all, this Dex 2.0 is full of shit. He’s acting like a horny teenager most of the time. Most of the book is filled with his perverted thoughts towards Perry. Perry’s humongous tits (boner), Perry’s round squishy ass (double boner), Perry showing extra skin (so sexy!), Perry wearing a dress (omg I wanna fuck her!), Perry’s fucking blue eyes (my cock is getting hard just by staring at them!), Perry’s fuckable mouth (say hello to my little friend!) and so on and so forth.
We get it. You love her and lust after her 24/7. Good. But man, get a fucking grip. What the hell happened to you?
I think it’s needless to say that I do not like the new Dex. I so much miss his old mysterious cynical emo self. I so much miss the sexual tension between Perry and him. I miss their joking, I miss their fights. I miss how much they understood each other and how well they worked together as a team. This “relationship” of theirs isn’t anything like I would have imagined it to be. It’s like I’m reading about two completely different people. A horny teenager and a heartless bitch.
No, your eyes are not deceiving you. Perry is acting like a heartless bitch. The way she reacts to Dex’s feelings, the way she feels insecure about him and her own self. The way she isolates herself from everything around her. I feel like she’s not a nice person anymore. I get that she went through a lot of shit with her miscarriage, the demon possessing her, sex with a ginger (that must’ve hurt her pride) and her parents almost throwing her into a mental hospital and all that, but I feel like this is a bit too much. Dex did help her get through it, he saved her countless times, he sacrificed himself for her, shit he even carved out his heart and threw it at her feet (dramatic, I know) and yet she’s acting like an ungrateful bitch. Is it for the sake of keeping their relationship “fresh” for four more books? That’s what I think, especially seeing the forced “obstacles” that keep on happening to them. A constant one stop forward, two steps back. It’s getting old.
Did I mention that 60% of the book was solely about Dex and Perry fucking? No, really, it was. Did I mention how old and boring it got, even after two sex scenes? No?
I can’t believe I’m saying this, especially since it’s Dex we’re talking about here, but there was too much sex. I felt like I’m reading a cheap erotica book and not an awesome EIT. More than half of the fucking book is just sex. Sex. Sex. And oh, guess what? More fucking sex.
And the story? Meh. It felt like I’m reading Darkhouse all over again. I did not like Darkhouse. I had to force myself to get through it just for the promise of what’s to come in the future books.
Another thing that I didn’t like about the story is the amount of people that were around. Me no like that. I like to have Dex and Perry all alone in some weird secluded place, hunting for god knows what creature. Or, better said, being hunted by the creature, as it usually happens. Come Alive had a good location (New Orleans for fuck’s sake!), zombies (uhm.. cool, I guess.), voodoo people (not so bad), haunted houses and swampy lands. Do you see the potential?
DO YOU SEE?!
But nope. We get sex, sex, sex, forced relationship drama, near death due to stupidity, make-out sex, sex and a mysterious (but not too mysterious) heavy box in Dex’s pocket as an OMG DAT ENDING! punch in the face.
Also, two more MAJOR things that bothered the shit out of me. Spoilers, beware.
(view spoiler)[One. Max. I hate the douche. I hate him so much. And now we find out he’s a guardian angel/superior being of some sort. He sacrificed his immortality over a girl he loved (and yet he left her because he’s a douche like that). And he’s not very good at his job, that’s why he screwed Dex over. And he still wants what Dex and Perry have. Because he’s such a nice person. And, in the end, he ended up doing the right thing by staying in New Orleans and taking care of the woman he loves.
NOW YOU DO THIS, YOU RED-PUBED DOUCHE?! NOW??!
Really. No. I can’t like him just because of all this crap. It’s all bullshit. He is not a nice person. Period.
Two. Dex’s lies that ended up brushed under the carpet so no one would know what a fucker her is. He did a very bad and selfish thing to hide the truth from Perry just because he thinks all of this will “protect her”. He thinks he’s so kind and selfless to push her away without explaining what the fuck is going on. This is a decision that should belong to her as well. And also, in the end he ended up blaming Ambrosia for his sudden douchenesness, when, obviously, that was not true. It was a dick move.
And I just got another idea. Is this going to be another “obstacle” in their relationship in EIT#8? Perry finds out that he lied and again we’ll have the “I can’t be with you because you’re a lying sonovabitch” crap? I’ll be expecting that. (hide spoiler)]
Come Alive had the potential of being great, but it took it out of its shiny wrapper, rubbed its shitty ass with it and threw it in the fire. I cannot even call it Experiment in Terror anymore, but go for a more suitable name like Experiment in Fucking thanks to all the unnecessary sex going on. Add a huge stinky drama llama and there you go. Experiment in Drama Llamas Brainlessly Fucking.
I am looking forward to the next (and last) two books though. Karina Halle does know her way around a good creep story, so I’m going to try and be optimistic about it. The fact that the next one will be from Perry’s POV does help ease up my nerves a little bit.["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>(less)