This was supposed to be a funny review. I was going to read the book, collect my funny quotes, and go wild with it. I couldn’t collect any quotes. I d...moreThis was supposed to be a funny review. I was going to read the book, collect my funny quotes, and go wild with it. I couldn’t collect any quotes. I don’t have the necessary gifs. I am completely unprepared. Why? Because this book is pretty fucked up.
Let me give you a little warning. If you are looking for a silly erotica to make fun of, then walk away. If you want to experiment the new “monster porn” thing, then walk away. This is not for the faint-hearted. Things are pretty messed up.
Ok, no. Things are very messed up. Pun intended.
Virginia Wade is a special butterfly. She obviously doesn’t want to be one of the “typical” erotica authors, so she doesn’t allow herself any boundaries. The point is to shock and disgust. Or arouse, if you’re into that kinda thing.
Cum For Bigfoot, or Moan For Bigfoot, as they call it nowadays, is full of disgusting crap. The main characters are teenage girls, there’s dirty sex with an older guy (who happens to be the father of one of her guy friends – and a married man), kidnapping, forced sex, sex with an animal of sorts (that’s Bigfoot – not just an overly hairy dude, but an animal-like creature), huge penises with tips shaped like tennis balls (tmi, I know, but I went through it and so should you),
(Stfu! I know this is a baseball (ball?) but that's all I got!)
watergun-like sprays of cum,
group sex with the said animal and – dun dun duuuuun – a cliffhanger!
I don’t know if I should be happy or not about this, but I wasn’t as disgusted as you would think. I felt like Wade is trying too hard to shock and I ended up not feeling anything. I wanted it to be funny, I really did, but nope. Big nope. It was boring. Boring and kind of sad. I’m actually thinking of giving #2 a try. I want to see where all this is heading. I hear things about Bigfoot tribes and impregnation. I hope I won’t regret it.
Holla to my girls for reading this masterpiece with me! I hope your stomachs are feeling better.(less)
The creature that stood upright on the road in front of her was huge, nearly eight feet tall, and was covered from head to toe in mottled dark fur. He wore a sort of loincloth and carried a large sack in his left hand.
His face was humanoid and distinctly handsome. Although his features were heavy, with a dark, slashing brow line and thick, finely etched lips, it was his eyes that mesmerized Mel’s dazzled senses. They were huge, intelligent, humorous and knowing.
Although Mel’s conscious mind screamed in disbelief and denial, her emotional core understood that she had just been touched, probed…deeply, by something she had only ever read about in shock rags and books on mythology.
He looked like an especially large and hairy hippie.
They kissed and the drums, pipes and cacophony of the dancing sasquatches faded to a whisper. As far as Mel was concerned, she and Onio were the only people on the planet, and her inexperienced kiss held all of her heart’s passion in its innocence.
What happens when Mina doesn't know what her heart wants and a crazy Stalker is after Jaiden's life, and the only person who can save him is Mina?
Welcome to the world of Premenstrual syndrome!
Prepare to be eaten by the giant marshmallow girl!
Seriously. I’m not mean. The dude, Jaiden, actually says that she looks like a marshmallow.
Jaiden could not believe a girl who looked like a marshmallow could take him down with such little effort. He struggled to break free.
Now look at the cover. The girl on the cover looks actually pretty, anime or not. And she is not fat at all. On the contrary, she looks rather skinny. Now why would you make girls who have a body similar to this feel like they are flabby and marshmallow-like? Yes, I’m aware that I’m harsh but never underestimate the power of a low-self-esteemed teenage girl. They’ll starve themselves over any stupid shit.
Conclusion time! Don’t. Just don’t. I only read this because it was for free. I’m full of regrets. Let me take the hit for you. Please.
Warning. Review might contain minor spoilers. Read at your own risk.
I was really excited about Down London Road because I really love how Samantha You...moreWarning. Review might contain minor spoilers. Read at your own risk.
I was really excited about Down London Road because I really love how Samantha Young writes her stuff, her Warriors of Ankh series was pretty great, I really enjoyed reading it, and I also liked the previous book in this series, On Dublin Street. Why did I like On Dublin Street? No idea. It’s not my usual thing but it worked for me perfectly at the time. Down London Road proved that me liking On Dublin Street was purely a mood thing. Oh well.
I went blindly into this book so I had no idea what to expect. I had no idea that this was going to happen:
My eyes flickered across the room and then my breath hitched as my gaze paused on a guy who was staring at me. Our eyes met, and for some absolutely bizarre reason the connection felt physical, like acknowledging each other’s presence had actually locked me in place.
Yeah, that made me know that I won’t like this book. I was hoping to be wrong, but no, I wasn’t wrong.
I really don’t like this sort of romance or this sort of characters. I also think that tattooed guys are being extremely overused and this aspect made Cam less attractive. He is also a douche. Me no like douche.
Johanna, the wonderful MC, is an idiot. I hated her. I didn’t even remember who the hell she was. I knew she was in On Dublin Street and I was trying so hard to remember who the hell she was. And then it came back to me. The money-digging chick who wanted to bang Braden. Oh yeah. No Miss Jo, I do not like you. I do not like you at all.
‘How can you take Malcolm and all those other guys’ help but not a friend’s?’ Because it’s a totally different thing!
Hah. Yes, she is like that. Now you know why I don’t like her. Oh, and check this quote from the book’s description:
Johanna Walker knows what she wants.
Really? She knows what she wants?? No, she doesn’t. That’s a huge pile of bullcrap right there. Why? Because the whole book is based on how Jo is unable to make up her mind about what she wants from her life. She is a stubborn woman who makes a shitload of bad decisions. And she gets to be a main character in a book I was really looking forward to reading. Yay me.
Thankfully, I was pretty. Tall with legs that went on forever […]
Cam on the other hand was not such a bad character, when compared to Joe, of course, but I didn’t like him much either. This is because of what a huge dick he was to Jo just because “he felt too attracted to her”. This gave him the right to be a total judgmental jerk, it seems. He made it up to her later on but I lost track of things when everything got too boring to handle. And I mean boring. They got together halfway through. As in together together, meet my family and all that shit together. That’s when things got too bad for me to even bother reading the rest of the book. It was just filled with useless drama. Did Young do this only to increase the page numbers of the book? It sure felt like it.
So, is Down London Road worth your money? It sure as hell was not worth mine, to tell you the truth. I would recommend you buying it only if you enjoy reading mostly romance books. Romance noobs might like it as well. As for the rest of us anti-romance, or partially anti-romance people, that’s a no. Ignore your hormones when it comes to this one.
This started out as a pretty good book. I liked the setting, I love Japanese culture and yes I watch J and K dramas so I was hoping this one will shap...more
This started out as a pretty good book. I liked the setting, I love Japanese culture and yes I watch J and K dramas so I was hoping this one will shape out as one of them. But cooler. Don’t judge me. The author did a very good job with the feel of the culture and people. At least at the beginning of the book. I wanted to have a better description of the city, though. I didn’t manage to form an image for it in my mind and it kind of frustrated me, among other things that I will mention as we go on.
As I mentioned before, the book was pretty good for about 2-3 chapters. Then Katie, our lovely MC, meets Tomohiro, the hot Japanese dude, and she becomes obsessed with him. Literally obsessed.
I can’t believe the amount of stupid shit this girl did. Climbing a tall wall and screaming after a stranger like a lunatic only to remember that you’re wearing a skirt and half the school can see your underwear. Buying a bike just to stalk your current obsession BECAUSE you’re sure he’s up to something! What the hell?!
What he was hiding, why he was pushing me away.
He’s just a stranger who wants nothing to do with you. And you are a stalker who keeps on bothering him. It’s that simple.
Maybe he was onto me. Maybe he was messing with me again.
Another thing that pissed me off about this book is the love triangle. Of course we had to have a love triangle. And it’s forced as fuck. What would a Young Adult book be without a love triangle? Our lovely Katie Greene gets not one, but two guys with overly sweet smelling hair gels. It’s Japan after all; they all have hair gels and ear rings. It’s a thing there. So yeah, you get the too sweet, too kind, always there to help third wheel. You need to teach young girls to friendzone the good guys and go for the dicks. That’s how life goes.
Another thing that bothered me, small as it is, is how easy the Mc managed to have complex conversations in Japanese only after a few months of studying the language. As far as I know Japanese is a difficult language and requires a lot of time to master. Is she a genius for managing to achieve this so fast? She didn’t act like a genius throughout the part that I barely managed to read. Just sayin’.
What else didn’t I pick on? The story is silly and boring, the characters are cheesy and boring. There were some drawings in the book – they looked cool. Not really impressed for some reason. And Katie and Tomohiro’s relationship “evolved” way too fast.
“Warui,” he whispered in apology, and I knew then that I couldn’t live without him, even when he was infuriating. Which was pretty much all the time.
And the drop that filled the cup
“Suki,” he breathed, I love you, and then the softness of his lips pressed against mine and the world caught fire, everything light and f lame and burning.
Ok, so first of all, from what I know, Japanese people take their time with dropping the “I love you” bomb more than Westerners. They go more for something like “I like you” first and “I love you” when it’s really serious. I’m 50% in and he’s already declaring his love. This is complete bull.
After this point I couldn’t make myself go on with the book and I had to drop it. I have no idea if things get better later on, and to tell you the truth I don’t give a monkey’s ass if they do, and I really don’t care about any of the characters. If it were to me they should all die and save ourselves the trouble of reading these silly books. Cancel a series, save a tree. You know, important stuff.
Sins & Needles is a pretty unique book, I guess, when compared to all the other New Adults I’ve read - which are pretty few, to be honest. I feel...moreSins & Needles is a pretty unique book, I guess, when compared to all the other New Adults I’ve read - which are pretty few, to be honest. I feel disappointed though, because I was expecting something else.
What disappointed me the most are the characters. Even though, in theory, I was supposed to like them both, after reading a good chunk of the book I’ve realized that I pretty much dislike both Ellie and Camden.
Ellie is a strong independent woman and I like this about her. Her overall personality pisses me off because she’s mostly a douche. Something ain’t right with that girl.
Camden was supposed to be one of my fictional crushes. He ended being… weird. Theoretically he’s hot. A sea of tattoos on a hot ripped body, piercings, artist, plays the frigging guitar in a band. But he is a – excuse my lack of a better word - weirdo. He is also too calm and too freaking nice for my taste. Meh. I like me some bad boys in this situation.
I also didn’t like the romance between the two MCs. I felt like things went too fast. There were not enough - ugh I can’t believe I’m saying this - romantic moments between them. Thirty four percent in and they already were doing it doggy style. Not cool.
I’m very disappointed because I am really in the mood to read a New Adult romance and I can’t seem to find anything good enough. This was my last try, at least for a while. Later on I might try to scavenge some more books from this genre, maybe I’ll get lucky.
I dropped Sins & Needles around 40% so I have no idea if things get better or not later on. Remember this while considering my review.
For those of you who are thinking what the hell is wrong with her for even trying this book, let me tell you something. A group read is a group read....moreFor those of you who are thinking what the hell is wrong with her for even trying this book, let me tell you something. A group read is a group read. You have to show some solidarity. You have to stick to your friends no matter one. I managed to stick to my fellow buddy-readers for about 15% of the book. I could not take more.
The main reason why I hated Kiss of Steel is the cheese. I don’t like cheesy books, and I hate cheesy romances. And this, my friends, is a cheesy romance. (no surprise there given the cover)
Anyways, Kiss of Steel is your typical vampire (yes indeed) romance with a touch (as minor as it gets) of steampunk, which is mostly aesthetic if you ask me. There was close to none worldbuilding, the character development was weak, the plot was romance (yes...), which is no plot at all, and again, I repeat, there was absolutely no steampunk feel to it.
I like some steampunk romances, you know. I loved Wicked as They Come by Delilah S. Dawson and Heart of Steel by Meljean Brook because the steampunk feel was there! And the authors actually created a steampunk world, good characters and then inserted the romance elements. This I like. This I like a lot!
I would recommend this book to hardcore romance readers. Keep in mind that my review is only for the chapters I managed to finish so some things might have changed later on in the book. (not that I care)