This was supposed to be a funny review. I was going to read the book, collect my funny quotes, and go wild with it. I couldn’t collect any quotes. I d...moreThis was supposed to be a funny review. I was going to read the book, collect my funny quotes, and go wild with it. I couldn’t collect any quotes. I don’t have the necessary gifs. I am completely unprepared. Why? Because this book is pretty fucked up.
Let me give you a little warning. If you are looking for a silly erotica to make fun of, then walk away. If you want to experiment the new “monster porn” thing, then walk away. This is not for the faint-hearted. Things are pretty messed up.
Ok, no. Things are very messed up. Pun intended.
Virginia Wade is a special butterfly. She obviously doesn’t want to be one of the “typical” erotica authors, so she doesn’t allow herself any boundaries. The point is to shock and disgust. Or arouse, if you’re into that kinda thing.
Cum For Bigfoot, or Moan For Bigfoot, as they call it nowadays, is full of disgusting crap. The main characters are teenage girls, there’s dirty sex with an older guy (who happens to be the father of one of her guy friends – and a married man), kidnapping, forced sex, sex with an animal of sorts (that’s Bigfoot – not just an overly hairy dude, but an animal-like creature), huge penises with tips shaped like tennis balls (tmi, I know, but I went through it and so should you),
(Stfu! I know this is a baseball (ball?) but that's all I got!)
watergun-like sprays of cum,
group sex with the said animal and – dun dun duuuuun – a cliffhanger!
I don’t know if I should be happy or not about this, but I wasn’t as disgusted as you would think. I felt like Wade is trying too hard to shock and I ended up not feeling anything. I wanted it to be funny, I really did, but nope. Big nope. It was boring. Boring and kind of sad. I’m actually thinking of giving #2 a try. I want to see where all this is heading. I hear things about Bigfoot tribes and impregnation. I hope I won’t regret it.
Holla to my girls for reading this masterpiece with me! I hope your stomachs are feeling better.(less)
The creature that stood upright on the road in front of her was huge, nearly eight feet tall, and was covered from head to toe in mottled dark fur. He wore a sort of loincloth and carried a large sack in his left hand.
His face was humanoid and distinctly handsome. Although his features were heavy, with a dark, slashing brow line and thick, finely etched lips, it was his eyes that mesmerized Mel’s dazzled senses. They were huge, intelligent, humorous and knowing.
Although Mel’s conscious mind screamed in disbelief and denial, her emotional core understood that she had just been touched, probed…deeply, by something she had only ever read about in shock rags and books on mythology.
He looked like an especially large and hairy hippie.
They kissed and the drums, pipes and cacophony of the dancing sasquatches faded to a whisper. As far as Mel was concerned, she and Onio were the only people on the planet, and her inexperienced kiss held all of her heart’s passion in its innocence.
What happens when Mina doesn't know what her heart wants and a crazy Stalker is after Jaiden's life, and the only person who can save him is Mina?
Welcome to the world of Premenstrual syndrome!
Prepare to be eaten by the giant marshmallow girl!
Seriously. I’m not mean. The dude, Jaiden, actually says that she looks like a marshmallow.
Jaiden could not believe a girl who looked like a marshmallow could take him down with such little effort. He struggled to break free.
Now look at the cover. The girl on the cover looks actually pretty, anime or not. And she is not fat at all. On the contrary, she looks rather skinny. Now why would you make girls who have a body similar to this feel like they are flabby and marshmallow-like? Yes, I’m aware that I’m harsh but never underestimate the power of a low-self-esteemed teenage girl. They’ll starve themselves over any stupid shit.
Conclusion time! Don’t. Just don’t. I only read this because it was for free. I’m full of regrets. Let me take the hit for you. Please.
This started out as a pretty good book. I liked the setting, I love Japanese culture and yes I watch J and K dramas so I was hoping this one will shap...more
This started out as a pretty good book. I liked the setting, I love Japanese culture and yes I watch J and K dramas so I was hoping this one will shape out as one of them. But cooler. Don’t judge me. The author did a very good job with the feel of the culture and people. At least at the beginning of the book. I wanted to have a better description of the city, though. I didn’t manage to form an image for it in my mind and it kind of frustrated me, among other things that I will mention as we go on.
As I mentioned before, the book was pretty good for about 2-3 chapters. Then Katie, our lovely MC, meets Tomohiro, the hot Japanese dude, and she becomes obsessed with him. Literally obsessed.
I can’t believe the amount of stupid shit this girl did. Climbing a tall wall and screaming after a stranger like a lunatic only to remember that you’re wearing a skirt and half the school can see your underwear. Buying a bike just to stalk your current obsession BECAUSE you’re sure he’s up to something! What the hell?!
What he was hiding, why he was pushing me away.
He’s just a stranger who wants nothing to do with you. And you are a stalker who keeps on bothering him. It’s that simple.
Maybe he was onto me. Maybe he was messing with me again.
Another thing that pissed me off about this book is the love triangle. Of course we had to have a love triangle. And it’s forced as fuck. What would a Young Adult book be without a love triangle? Our lovely Katie Greene gets not one, but two guys with overly sweet smelling hair gels. It’s Japan after all; they all have hair gels and ear rings. It’s a thing there. So yeah, you get the too sweet, too kind, always there to help third wheel. You need to teach young girls to friendzone the good guys and go for the dicks. That’s how life goes.
Another thing that bothered me, small as it is, is how easy the Mc managed to have complex conversations in Japanese only after a few months of studying the language. As far as I know Japanese is a difficult language and requires a lot of time to master. Is she a genius for managing to achieve this so fast? She didn’t act like a genius throughout the part that I barely managed to read. Just sayin’.
What else didn’t I pick on? The story is silly and boring, the characters are cheesy and boring. There were some drawings in the book – they looked cool. Not really impressed for some reason. And Katie and Tomohiro’s relationship “evolved” way too fast.
“Warui,” he whispered in apology, and I knew then that I couldn’t live without him, even when he was infuriating. Which was pretty much all the time.
And the drop that filled the cup
“Suki,” he breathed, I love you, and then the softness of his lips pressed against mine and the world caught fire, everything light and f lame and burning.
Ok, so first of all, from what I know, Japanese people take their time with dropping the “I love you” bomb more than Westerners. They go more for something like “I like you” first and “I love you” when it’s really serious. I’m 50% in and he’s already declaring his love. This is complete bull.
After this point I couldn’t make myself go on with the book and I had to drop it. I have no idea if things get better later on, and to tell you the truth I don’t give a monkey’s ass if they do, and I really don’t care about any of the characters. If it were to me they should all die and save ourselves the trouble of reading these silly books. Cancel a series, save a tree. You know, important stuff.
At first I felt lost. Loads of weird names. Freaking weird names. Really. For everything. Couldn’t remember anything. And the thing is, Blood’s Pride...moreAt first I felt lost. Loads of weird names. Freaking weird names. Really. For everything. Couldn’t remember anything. And the thing is, Blood’s Pride has a shitload of main characters. The point of view changed throughout the book more times than I could remember. It was overwhelming, especially since Evie Manieri has a thing for overly-complex idiotic names.
I need my books to be special in order to feel sucked in and enjoy what I’m reading. Blood’s Pride caught my attention with its first few chapters, but after a while the story got boring and confusing. The dialogues, in particular, bored me to tears. I felt like the characters on which the story focused were not that important, nor entertaining for that matter. I would have loved the story to focus more on the Mongrel, since she is the coolest character between them.
And what is that monster on the cover? (and what an amazing cover it is, I might add – totally misleading, but I will get to that later)
A dragon? A bat? A bat-dragon? A dragon-bat? Doesn’t matter. I want more of whatever that is. I was halfway through, and there was no bat-monster in sight. What a bunch of nonsense!
And speaking of the cover, it’s incredibly misleading. The cover made me think that Blood’s Pride is an epic adventure starring the Mongrel chick, with a bit of romance between her and the fire-wielding Ginger dude (see misleading cover). I did not get any of that. Sadness.
No, fuck that. No sadness. Anger. Injustice. Frustration. Not cool.
Am I going to give the next book in the series a try? Nope.
I don’t know why I’m doing this to myself. The average score for Yamada Monogatari: Demon Hunter is 3.14 stars. Not so bad, right? And yet I have a ba...moreI don’t know why I’m doing this to myself. The average score for Yamada Monogatari: Demon Hunter is 3.14 stars. Not so bad, right? And yet I have a bad feeling about it. I really do. Is it all just in my head?
Why am I doing this again? Oh yeah, it’s a free ebook. And the cover is nice. Oh well..
As you can see I wasn’t even able to finish it. Worldbuilding, where is the worldbuilding? And the characters are idiotic. And the story is boring and clichéd. Richard Parks didn’t even do his homework on Japanese culture properly.
Look at this grey box. Look at it carefully. What do you see? A grey box. This is exactly what Yamada Monogatari: Demon Hunter means to me.
Please tell me this is the last book in the series. Please!!
Yes! Yes it is!!
It’s over! IT’S FINALLY OVER!! All the pain, the suffering. THE ANGST....morePlease tell me this is the last book in the series. Please!!
Yes! Yes it is!!
It’s over! IT’S FINALLY OVER!! All the pain, the suffering. THE ANGST. THE FUCKING ANGST!! Just thinking about it makes me want to smash my laptop to bits!!
Breathe in. Breathe out. In. Out. Calm. I’m calm. Ok.
To Hell and Back, the, I quote, pulse-pounding finale to Lilith Saintcrow's urban fantasy series featuring Dante Valentine. My pain and suffering. My pissed on expectations. My waste of time. Hours upon hours of hoping that it will get better soon. That it will end with a bang and make me forget how utterly stupid books 2 to 4 were. That will make me forgive Saintcrow for turning the characters I loved into douchebags…
Nothing. I got nothing.
I read, I yawned, I skimmed, I lol’d, I skimmed some more. And then some more. And then it was over. It felt like a chore. It really did.
Blah. All I can say now is good riddance Dante Valentine. Burn in hell.