I've made it through 30 pages or so and realized that this is not my cup of tea. I'll leave the rating empty because I don't think it's fair giving itI've made it through 30 pages or so and realized that this is not my cup of tea. I'll leave the rating empty because I don't think it's fair giving it one star. Maybe you guys should give it a try if you're into this kind of thing, I've heard only good things from the people who tried it....more
My childhood just came back and punched me in the head. I hate kids, and I hate being little and powerless. If only I could go back in time, change thMy childhood just came back and punched me in the head. I hate kids, and I hate being little and powerless. If only I could go back in time, change the candy to rotten goat organs. Who's laughing now bitches?...more
Yeah, I know what you’re thinking. What the hell is wrong with me for reading a book such as this? Well you know what? It’s awesome and I don’t care iYeah, I know what you’re thinking. What the hell is wrong with me for reading a book such as this? Well you know what? It’s awesome and I don’t care if it’s a children’s book and that I’m too old for it or that I pretend to own a T-Rex ever since I finished reading it. It’s AWESOME and it made me happy. End of story!
Oh, did I mention that I own the cutest T-Rex ever?
I’d like to thank my wonderful fiancé for giving me this book as a gift. It is AMAZING. The stories are not** Favourite zombie-related book of 2011 **
I’d like to thank my wonderful fiancé for giving me this book as a gift. It is AMAZING. The stories are not the most interesting things on the surface of the planet but the artwork is badass. I’m a big fan of David Hartman and I have to say that I wasn’t disappointed. Plus a foreword by Rob Zombie. Rob-freakin’-Zombie! Big fan of him also. See how easy I am to buy? Goddammit!
I’m doing the next thing for the people who don’t know how the book goes.
So you have a page divided (and I mean divided as in cut into pieces) into three parts
Which can be combined endlessly!
So much fun! It makes me feel like I’m a kid again. But better because I’m playing with zombies! I’m a mad scientist!
I guess you know why I chose to read this book. Perverted Proverbs is a hypnotizing title and I couldn’t get my hands off it. Now theA total delight!
I guess you know why I chose to read this book. Perverted Proverbs is a hypnotizing title and I couldn’t get my hands off it. Now the good surprise is that they’re not really perverted. Probably the best word to use here is stained. Or maybe I’m just being an assh*le and wanting to trick you into reading something totally perverted and disgusting. *grins* Are you gonna risk it mate? Eeeh? Have a bit of bones in you to do it? It’s just about 25 pages so no big deal right? I dare you to read it!
This book is full of subtext. Every proverb has its own meaning. It may be humorous but deep inside it’s actually a harsh truth related to our day to day life. I must admit that I didn’t get the hidden meaning of all the proverbs but maybe after a second read things will become clear. Since the book is full of nice rhymes I won’t do a “Top 5 quotes” list. I’ll just post a few things (amongst many) that I liked.
But having had your boom in oil, And made your millions out of it, Would you propose to cease from toil? Great Vanderfeller! Not a bit! You've got to labour, day and night, Until you die--and serve you right!
Then, when you stop this frenzied race, And others in your office sit, You'll leave the world a better place, --The better for your leaving it! For there's a chance perhaps your heir May spend what you've collected there.
"Learn to Take Things Easily." To these few words, it seems to me, A wealth of sound instruction clings; O Learn to Take things easily-- Espeshly Other People's Things; And Time will make your fingers deft At what is known as Petty Theft.
Yep! Another awesome book brought to us by Barney Stinson and Matt Kuhn. Loved it!
Since bros have some problems hooking upLEGEN – wait for it – DARY!
Yep! Another awesome book brought to us by Barney Stinson and Matt Kuhn. Loved it!
Since bros have some problems hooking up with chicks, our greatest hero, Barney Stinson, made a prodigious gift to all bros around and gave them the grand and magical Playbook. Now each us will be able to go out, hit some pubs and trick mindless females into engaging in an insignificant (at least for one side of the party) act of coitus. Hip-hip-hurrah!
Barney is one of the funniest characters out there. I kept on imagining him doing all these plays while reading the book and I have to tell you that it increased the fun. I also got to the point where I asked myself: did any guy actually try to pick up a chick using one of these plays? More importantly, did it work?
If you have a good sense of humor (I’m not talking about guys, they surely will love this book, I’m referring to the “chicks” – heh!) then try this. I mean I love all of Barney’s books and I don’t get offended by them. Be cool! Be awesome! Try it and become the perfect wingwoman! Help a bro in need! Make the world a better place!
I saw there’s another book out by Barney, “Bro On The Go” but I’m not sure if I’ll buy it or not. Seems a little too short for its price. Anyways, we will see.
Yeah I know I know I’m not a Bro so I shouldn’t be reading this… but guess what? I don’t actually care and I already read it so tough luck!
I’ve been aYeah I know I know I’m not a Bro so I shouldn’t be reading this… but guess what? I don’t actually care and I already read it so tough luck!
I’ve been a fan of How I met You Mother for years. Lately the show kinda sucks but Barney is still my favorite and he just kicks ass! When I saw that they actually published the Bro Code I thought I must have it! For all of you fans out there: get it! For all of you chicks out there: if you have a sense of humor, you think like a guy and you’re not offended by jokes related to boobs, blondes, hos etc. then I say get it! It’s one of the funniest books I’ve read in a very long time and I enjoyed every minute of it. Even though it was a short read…
Now there were many epic moments throughout the book. If I could post them all I would actually copy paste all the book and done. Soooo I said I’ll just post the funny stuff I loved the most. Get ready to fall off your chair in…. three… two… one….
And of course, being the math geek that I am, I loved the formulas! Why do I like formulas?!?! Tell me God!!!
And in the end some articles that I found hilarious:
ARTICLE 9 Should a Bro lose a body part due to an accident or illness, his fellow Bros will not make lame jokes such as “Gimme three!” or “Wow, quitting your job like that really took a lot of ball.” It’s still a high five and that Bro still has a lot of balls…metaphorically speaking, of course.
ARTICLE 41 A Bro never cries. EXCEPTIONS: Watching Field of Dreams, E.T., or a sports legend retire.
ARTICLE 62 In the event that two Bros lock on to the same target, the Bro who calls dibs first has dibs. If both call dibs at the same time, the Bro who counts aloud to ten the fastest has dibs. If both arrive at the number ten at the same time, the Bro who bought the last round of drinks has dibs. If they haven’t purchased drinks yet, the taller of the two Bros has dibs. If they’re the same height, the Bro with the longer dry spell dry spell has dibs. Should the dry spells be of equal length, a game of discreet Broshambo* shall determine dibs, provided the chick is still there. * Rock, paper, scissors for Bros.
ARTICLE 114 If a Bro must crash on his Bro’s couch for an extended period of time, he shall offer to split the cost of toilet paper and the cable bill if said period exceeds two weeks. If he stays longer than a month, he shall offer to contribute some rent. If he stays longer than two months, he shall steam clean the couch or have it incinerated, whichever is more applicable.
B-t-dub this may be a self-help book for some dudes. I know many that actually need it. We should set up points throughout the world where we offer the Bro Code for free. Just like condoms for kids… uhm… Teens…. Ugh I dunno! People who wanna have sex! There!
And that’s it for the moment. Get the book for more. I’m so damn proud of myself for reading this. I’m all bro-ed up now. Gotta get myself a wingman and go hunting.
. . . . . .
I’m sorry…. Didn’t mean to be rude…. You’re not b*tches…. You’re good people…. God bless you all.
Yes! I’m mastering the zombie language! If you don’t know what that means you’re in deep sh*t. You might want to get some books and start learning a few things..
Every person on the planet should own this book; you can never know when the next attack is going to be.
To do list: • buy a machete • buy an M1 Carbine • buy leather suit • cut hair short • buy supplies • buy a dirtbike or horse, whichever is available • create a voodoo zombie • become a professional zombie hunter
Here are some personal results from my research.
Stay safe! And in case you turn into a zombie stay out of my way or eat lead!...more
Oh yes, after reading that description you surely are drooling over this book. Well hold yer spit 'n lend me yer eyes 'cause thar are a some problemsOh yes, after reading that description you surely are drooling over this book. Well hold yer spit 'n lend me yer eyes 'cause thar are a some problems here (God, I love pirate talk!). One - a simple question. Did you play the game? If you didn’t know: yes this is a game, but not just any game. This game is a masterpiece, probably my favorite so far. Ok, so if you didn’t know this then shame on you. If you didn’t play the game then I say drop the idea of buying and reading this book. If you want to buy it just to have something pretty to look at then go ahead. The cover is amazing, as all the artwork for this game is. Two. If you are a gamer and you played it… well, no difference there, is it? The book follows the game pattern maybe too closely for my taste. It was great that at some points I was comparing the way the assassinations were done in the book to the strategies I used in the game. This went on for what? A quarter or half of the book but eventually I got bored. I thought I’d love it because, let’s face it, so many great characters appear in the story. We have Ezio, Leonardo, Machiavelli, La Volpe, Mario and many more. Eventually even these characters couldn’t keep me from falling asleep while reading it. Some details were cool, stuff that I didn’t notice in the game but I still find the story chaotic. I feel that the events don’t stick together too well. Towards the end of the story we have a scene (no spoilers, don’t worry) where *blank* looks at *someone*. Those who played the game know it’s Desmond. So we have a hint that he should have been in the book too. But I don’t know where because I couldn’t trace him. I think it would have been cooler if the author integrated the Animus in the story somehow. Maybe it would have given the book a bit of spice. I am really disappointed because I was expecting something more of this. I feel bad that I won’t be giving it such a high score…
Aaanyways, I’ll add a part that I really enjoyed. This is one of the reasons why I love this game so much. ‘People of Florence! Come! Gather round. Listen well to what I say! The end approaches! Now is the time to repent! To beg God’s forgiveness. Listen to me, if you cannot see what is happening for yourselves. The signs are all around us: Unrest! Famine! Disease! Corruption! These are the harbingers of darkness! We must stand firm in our devotion lest they consume us all !’ He scanned them with his fiery eyes. ‘I see you doubt, that you think me mad. Ahhhh… but did the Romans not say the same of Jesus? Know that I, too, once shared your uncertainty, your fear. But that was before Savonarola came to me. He showed me the truth! At last, my eyes were opened. And so I stand before you today in the hope that I might open yours as well!’ The preacher paused for breath. ‘Understand that we stand upon a precipice. On one side, the shining, glorious Kingdom of God. On the other – a bottomless pit of despair! Already you teeter precariously on the edge. Men like the Medici and the other families you once called masters sought earthly goods and gain. The abandoned their beliefs in favor of material pleasures, and they would have seen you all do the same.’ He paused again, this time for effect, and continued: ‘Our wise prophet once said, “The only good thing that we owe Plato and Aristotle is that they brought forward many arguments which we can use against the heretics. Yet they and other philosophers are now in hell.” If you value your immortal souls you’ll turn back from this unholy course and embrace the teachings of our prophet, Savonarola. Then you will sanctify your bodies and spirits – you will discover the Glory of God! You will, at last, become what our Creator intended: loyal and obedient servants!’ But the crowd, already thinning out, was losing interest, and the last few people were now moving away. Ezio stepped forward and addressed the beguiled preacher. ‘Your mind,’ he said. ‘I sense it is your own.’ The preacher laughed. ‘Not all of us required persuasion or coercion to be convinced. I already believed. All I have said is true!’ ‘Nothing is true,’ replied Ezio. ‘And what I do now is no easy thing.’ He unsprung his wrist-blade and ran the preacher through. ‘Requiescat in pace,’ he said. Turning away from the kill, he pulled his cowl close over his head.