Let me start by saying this authors vs. reviewers crap doesn't benefit anyone. There are no 'sides.' Or at least, there shouldn't be. Most writers staLet me start by saying this authors vs. reviewers crap doesn't benefit anyone. There are no 'sides.' Or at least, there shouldn't be. Most writers start out as readers -- at least, I did -- and I know that some books that work for me don't work for others (and vice versa). We're all in the same boat...except some of us happen to write books.
(Honestly, if you're a writer and hate reading or don't want to make the time to read, you probably shouldn't be writing in the first place.)
And yeah, maybe the whole writing-books thing makes the relationship unequal from the start, because authors have a lot of influence that most reviewers don't have. (Although there are reviewers and authors of all levels of fame and popularity, so this really depends.)
I started blogging on this site seven years ago, way before Goodreads achieved its present day claim to fame. I remember when it was just a handful of users and I'd see the same faces on every book page. I'm ollllllld school.
And then a few years after that I started publishing and kept on reviewing, because that was how I'd made my friends on this site and it seemed disingenuous to no longer review and share books with my friends just because I'd happened to write some.
But because people do take this whole 'sides' business to heart, even if they say they don't or wish they didn't, a small but vocal population started getting pretty angry with me once I started becoming popular enough to matter.
They would say things like, "It's kind of strange seeing one author bash another author's books. Don't you have any empathy?" Or, "It's kind of tacky to attack other authors, don't you think?" Or, "I bet you don't even read half those books you're reviewing. No way you have time to read and write."
Because as an author, I'm only supposed to say nice things about other people's books and if I don't like something, I'm not supposed to say anything at all. That's how it is apparently supposed to work, apparently, and if you break the rules, a lot of people won't have anything to do with you. Because there are authors and there are reviewers, and we are supposed to stick this out together, don'tcha know?
I've had people I considered friends remove and block me because they didn't like my conduct as an author (for various reasons). And while this is fine, I'm not going to pretend that this doesn't make me sad, or that it didn't take me a while to be as okay with it as I am now. I mean, there's my reviewer persona and there's my author persona and there's my everyday persona and they are not all the same or equal. I may be vitriolic in my reviews at times, but that doesn't mean I do the same with people.
Authors aren't their books, and it's important to recognize that because I think that is where so much of this drama comes from: authors (and sometimes fans) taking reviews as personal attacks when they are just basically a list of reasons about why that book did not work for that particular reader.
Reading is something I feel very passionate about. Books take more time to get through than movies, and I think because of that, the relationship between a book and reader is so much more personal, so much more fraught with emotion. It's like a relationship (gah, I sound so corny, but it's true)- both sides have to put in effort to make it work. And like relationship, not every pairing is guaranteed for success...and sometimes one party is more at fault than the other (baby, it's not you, it's me).
So yeah, this 'sides' thing really doesn't help anything. It alienates readers from authors -- it makes it more difficult for readers to approach authors about their books or to feel safe offering criticism that (let's be honest) really would benefit all parties if it came to light. It makes it difficult for authors to GET people to read their books because readers can never really be sure whether you're going to be one of those author crazies that will throw a rage tantrum when they get anything less than three stars. And it makes it difficult for author reviewers like myself, because we straddle the fence and end up getting people from BOTH camps mad at us, because who the hell do we think we are, thinking we're too good/speshul to choose a side?
I used to blog about this pretty often, but I stopped because I was starting to feel like a broken record, and because reviewing and writing take so much out of me that I don't really have as much time as I'd like to bitch (I'm really, really good at bitching). I think most people get it, anyway. But for the small and obdurate portion of the 'net that don't, here's a clue:
Life is too short to get hung up over things like, "Waaah this meanie gave my book two stars!" or "Waaah this person said mean things about me on the internet! I'M GOING TO GET THE DIRT ON THEM NOW." Rather than focusing on 'sides', you should be focusing on your passions and finding good books to read and meeting people you actually like, who make you think about the world in new and exciting ways.
I don't always agree with what my friends say -- whether it's about a book I wrote or a book that I just really, really like -- but that doesn't in anyway detract from their right to say it, or its overall subjective truthfulness.
I know there's a number of people here who think of me as a big fat hypocrite and in some ways, yeah, you're probably right. We're all hypocrites. But I also put up with a lot of stuff. I get negative reviews. I get people who stalk me from website to website under various sock accounts & talk shit. I've had authors more famous and popular than me write nasty things about me. I get blocked all the time. And I deal with it. I don't whine (much) about it, or send my readers and fans to attack them (not that they would, anyway -- they're good people, and if I tried that crap, I'm sure they'd give me a good talking to: it's why I love them), or write long, butthurt treatises about why being an author is so hard. (Actually, this review probably comes pretty close to that -- but hey, I already admitted I was a hypocrite, so Mulligan.) But I try my best to be professional, and I really respect and admire and love the people on here who do the same: who feel that same passion about the written word and want to share it with others.
That's why I became a writer in the first place, yo.
You can read more reviews at my blog, The Armchair Librarian.
******Edit: WARNING -- MAJOR SPOILERS******
Never have I ever... had such a discrepancy beYou can read more reviews at my blog, The Armchair Librarian.
******Edit: WARNING -- MAJOR SPOILERS******
Never have I ever... had such a discrepancy between my opinion and that of the masses. Not since The Sea of Tranquility. In fact, I think The Edge of Never bothered memore than Sea did for reasons I will soon go into.
Goodreads, how could you lead me astray?
Let's start with our protagonists. Camryn is 20. She acts about 16. She's a wannabe hipster who fancies herself the femaleChris McCandless, and her biggest dream is to just drive off to nowhere in particular and have grand adventures.
Oh, and she's really, really deep, you guys.
"I wonder if the ocean smells different on the other side of the world (162)."
"Instead of sitting around dreaming up new sex positions....I dream about things that really matter...What the air in other countries feels like on my skin, how the ocean smells, why the sound of rain makes me gasp (12)."
"I started seeing a lot of people as mundane by the time I was twelve (166)"
"I loved Ian in the now, the way he looked at me, how he made my stomach swim, how he held my hair when I was puking my guts up after eating a bad enchilada. That's love (37)."
When she's not comparing love to post-hangover nausea, or orgasming to the sound of rain, Camryn is all about hanging out with her only friend. She's one of those beautiful girls who is inexplicably a loner, except when it comes to the menfolk of course, and this is because she's just too deep for people to comprehend.
Apparently she has "depression" but claims that she was able to work herself out of the funk. As anyone with clinical depression knows, this is not how it works. When people do not do their research about real clinical disorders and throw them into their stories for "coolness", what they are actually doing is trivializing the disorder and marginalizing those afflicted. Stoppit.
But no, she doesn't stop it. She has to claim Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, too.
"I'm not 'clinically' OCD; I'm just one of those people who claim the acronym because of a few methodical habits (138)."
Despite Camryn's loose morals, she refers to every able-bodied woman in this book as a slut. Her friend is a slut. Her mom is a slut. The couple enjoying making out too much? Sluts.
Fuck you, Camryn.
After her best-friend's boyfriend tries to rape her, and the best-friend reacts to this news by calling Camryn a slut and telling her that she's going to beat the fuck out of her if she doesn't shut up, Camryn decides to go on her road trip. She is very responsible about the whole thing, even going so far as to lie to her mother about what state she'll be in.
Because you wouldn't want anyone to be able to ID your dumbass corpse, right? Right.
Now for the love interest, Andrew.
Andrew is 25. He acts about 18. Maybe 17. 19, if he's lucky. 25? Fuck no.
The most important thing about Andrew is that he's good-looking, has abs, and tattoos. He was offered a $50,000 modelling contract and turned it down because that would be selling out, you guys.
He's also one of those boys who is supposed to be all manly and romantic because he goes around beating the crap out of people vigilante-style like he thinks he's the fucking Dark Knight. Apparently, he's been in jail--but only for putting a guy into a hospital for hitting his girl.
"The man three seats up just looked at her again. I'm about ready to bash his fucking brains in right now, just for looking (63)."
The reason Camryn and Andrew meet is because he saves her from Creepy Bus Pedorapist. Which raises an important question: if Andrew saw Pedorapist giving her the lustful eye, why didn't he say something? Why did he just kick back and let the psychodrama unfold, and then leave her alone, putting her in a position where she almost did get raped?
But don't worry guys, it's okay. He's got a soft side. He cried during The Notebook. No way he can be a bad man, right?
"If you were to let me fuck you, you would have to let me own you (170)."
"I've always been Daddy's Girl, but you have to grow up sometime and now... now I'm Andrew's Girl (296)."
Nope. Sorry. He's a douche.
At first I wanted to like him, but it is impossible. He's manipulative, and refuses to have sex with Camryn (penetrative sex) unless she lets him "own" her. He lies, hides information from her, takes her to a bar for underage drinking where she almost gets raped again by two assholes, both of whom he beats senselessly. He uses sex as leverage, tries to leave with a passive-aggressive break-up note, says he'll stay only if she lets him own her and fuck her. He doesn't tell her about a very serious medical condition until he ends up having a seizure and scaring the fuck out of her.
But no, it's okay because he's nice to his mom...um, he can sing and play guitar, he has a tattoo of Eurydice on his ribs and thinks Orpheus is his muse, he has a Texas drawl, and oh, yes, abs. Personality? Well...he listens to classic rock and calls women "baby," if that's what you mean.
Oh, and he's really good at sex, apparently. So good that they have sex without using a condom. That's right. And Camryn forgives her friend for ignoring her near-rape and threatening to beat her up for daring to confess to it, and giggles/cries with her over Andrew for the duration of the story.
The ending? Made me want to throw up. Talk about a book that doesn't show ANY consequences. What, so you get to act like as big of a douchebag moron as you want, but it's okay because it's okay?
These are adults.
Being an adult means consequences.
Having unprotected sex leads to babies and STDs. Joking about rape and axe-murderers gets you branded as a psychopath. Letting a brain tumor grow for eight months unchecked leads to death. Beating people up because you're jacked up on testosterone and manly-manness leads to jail time.
ACTIONS. HAVE. CONSEQUENCES.
"I never really had any enemies, except sometimes a few of the cheerleaders showed jealousy towards me because Ian loved me and wouldn't give them the time of day (135)."
"Any other time, with some other random girl, I would've already gotten out of bed to toss the condom in the toilet... (140)"
"I would never think you were a slut unless you went around screwing a bunch of guys, for which then I would be in jail because I would have to beat the fuck out of all of them (197)."
"I don't give a shit what [those girls] are saying, or how rejected they feel. In an hour they'll be riding some other guy's cock and will forget they ever spoke to me (249)."
Because Camryn finds herself enjoying sex, she assumes this means she is a nymphomaniac.
"You're the best sex I've ever had because I got something out of you I've never gotten out of a girl before....I de-virginized your innocence, made you more comfortable with yourself sexually. And that is so hot to me (332)."
Murder and Rape Jokes
"If I had been someone else, you might've been the rape victim of your very own Lifetime movie(24)."
"No guy is going to lead a girl that looks like you out alone on the top of a goddamned warehouse building just to talk. Ten more minutes and he would've thrown your little ass on top of that table and had his way with you. No one can hear you scream out here, Cam (30)."
"It's actually kind of funny...no matter how hard she pushes, the weight of my body is too heavy to move me completely (82)."
"You're just going to hop in the car with a guy you barely know and trust him not to rape you on a deserted highway somewhere...? (115)"
These next two are extra special, because Andrew says these to Camryn while she's half-passed out over the toilet bowl:
"I can take complete advantage of you now (222)."
"Don't worry, I won't molest you (223)."
Isn't that what EVERY girl wants to hear when she's only half-conscious? Rape jokes?
"I'm afraid of Andrew and what kind of pain he could inflict if he ever hurt me, because I get the feeling it wouldn't be any kind that I could bear. Already it's unbearable and he hasn't even hurt me yet (228)."
In keeping with the rape motif of this book, on page 234, while watching Andrew sing for her on stage, Camryn feels like she's in a dream. What she actually says is that she feels like she'll wake up any moment back in North Carolina with Natalie and Damon standing over at her roofied body.
"Well, it definitely wasn't so I could find you later and cut you up into little pieces or anything (275)."
Other Random Offensive Things
Camryn's frenemy, Natalie, is bisexual. When she jokes about how hot Camryn in, Camryn is quick to inform us that being a lesbian is "so sick" (15). Not the good kind of sick. The hurl kind.
"You don't hold another man's hand, boy. What the hell is wrong with you? (102)"
"Fast food doesn't make people fat (67)."
"Oh my God, I'm hideous! My make-up has completely worn off (133)."
"Oh my God, my nipples are like beacons shining through my shirt! (135)"
"I literally melt under the blush of my face(265)."
Other Nuggets of McWisdom
According to Camryn, Aerosmith is a 90s band, like Alice in Chains. LOL, no.
Andrew likes the taste of Camryn's crotch so much that, after giving her oral sex, he laments having to brush his teeth. He also thinks Vagisil and lube, and body wash and hand soap, are the same things.
Women are supposed to offer sex to men as a test to see whether or not they will refuse as good gentlemen are wont to do.
You should definitely avoid going to the doctor if you think you have a tumor. Ignorance is bliss!
Fuck this book. Fuck it with something hard and sandpapery.
Cole Cozen: Hi, my name is Cole and I'm . . . an abusive boyfriend.
Everyone: Hi, Cole.
Therapist: Hello, Cole. Thank you for coming today. Admitting yoCole Cozen: Hi, my name is Cole and I'm . . . an abusive boyfriend.
Everyone: Hi, Cole.
Therapist: Hello, Cole. Thank you for coming today. Admitting you have a problem is the first step―
CC: I don't have a fucking problem.
Therapist: Okay. Well, your ex-girlfriend seems to feel otherwise―
CC: She's a slut. A cheating, goddamn slut who wants to fuck her best friend. Both her best friends. She's a bi-cheater. Not my problem.
Travis Maddox: Preach.
Therapist: Now that is not appropriate language, Mr. Maddox and Mr. Cozen. Do you think those young ladies enjoy being called names?
TM: Hey, I call it how I see it. If they act like skanks, they aren't fit to touch the sheets I sleep in.
CC: I just love her so much, I can't control myself around her. I can't help it. I just have too many feelings. I can't keep them all inside. And when I see her with other guys . . . I want to kill them. If she ever fucked me over, I think I'd kill her.
Edward Cullen: Or myself.
Christian Grey: Or whip her with a belt.
TM: Or have sex with a bunch of girls where she can see what she's missing.
Therapist: Enough! Enough! Let's talk about that. What are some other ways you could show your girlfriend that you care?
CG: Anal beads.
Therapist: NO, Mr. Grey.
Therapist: No, no aggression!
Therapist: (relieved sigh) Yes, very good, Mr. Cozen.
CG: How about a first edition of an obscure nineteenth century novel?
Therapist: Expensive gifts are inappropriate so early in relationships, Mr. Grey. You can't BUY a woman's affections.
CG: (smirk) Clearly, you don't know how wealthy I am.
Therapist: Why don't we discuss why you think you're here?
CG: The hospital contacted the authorities when they retrieved a foreign object from my wife's―
Therapist: That's enough. Mr. Cozen?
CC: She fell. Onto my fist.
TM: Her best friend fell. On my fist.
EC: I really shouldn't be here. I'm perfect just the way I am.
CG: No, YOU are here because you are a hundred-year-old virgin.
Seriously, though, Bitter End was a pretty good portrait of an abusive relationship. As a precautionary tale, I think it works wonders. As a regular story, meh. Everything felt very contrived, and some of the situations didn't make sense. (Like, how on Earth did Cole know where to follow her all the time? And what was he really doing when he talked about family issues?)
My problem was that everything comes across as rushed: the relationship, the sex, the abuse. I didn't really have time to get to know Alex as a character, she was too busy being a plot device. Also, Alex was really frustrating. I didn't like her as a character at all, and the way she treated her friends and family while dating Cole made me feel sick. I really, really, really liked Bethany and Zack, though. Way more than I did Alex, actually. Oh my God, Zach. What a sweetheart. I'd totally date him. If I were a high school student, that is. Or if he were a grown-up twenty-something-year-old. Oh, and Alex's little sister, Celia, reminded me of my own little sister.
Good message, well researched, okay writing, meh characterization. Lots of feels. I think more description and emotion needed to be woven into this storyline, along with more personal details of Alex's life to make her a sympathetic and relatable character. Bitter End is more of an "experience" novel, than anything else, and that makes it feel clinical and cold. I hear her other book Hate List is far better. Since it's been checked out every time I've gone to the library, that seems to be true.
I've been thinking a lot lately. And I've decided that I'm finally at a point where negative reviews aren't really a big deal anymore. It's not that II've been thinking a lot lately. And I've decided that I'm finally at a point where negative reviews aren't really a big deal anymore. It's not that I don't care, or that I don't want to improve; it's more like I've reached a point where I've been able to dissociate from my work.
It took years and years to develop a thicker skin. I've gone through a lot, both on this site and off of it, to get to this point.
And if I've learned anything as an author who also happens to review books, it's that reviews are highly subjective. Different reviews are written for different types of people. Some will be helpful to the author. Some won't. A negative review might actually entice a reader, whereas an overly gushing positive review might deter one.
I know there will always be some people who give me the side-eye for continuing to review while writing books, and while I don't really like the assumptions behind some of their reasons for doing so, I can understand where they are coming from.
However, I do want you to know that I don't think of my books as perfect, or as my babies, or anything silly and overly precious like that. My books are subject to the same scrutiny with which I view all other books. And just because I down-rate a book, it doesn't mean I think I'm better than that author. There is always, ALWAYS room for improvement....more
I requested this on Netgalley because the premise sounded intriguing--I mean, arranged marriages, Irish vs. Italian mafia, debauched characters, shoot-em-ups... what could possibly go wrong?*
At the time that I applied for this book, I was not aware that it was P2P fanfiction. Which it is. Apparently RUTHLESS PEOPLE started out its life as TWILIGHT fanfiction. But that has no bearing on my review. There are plenty of other things that allow this book to fail on its own merit. The similarities are there if you know where to look for them, including an "oops!" moment where Bella--sorry, I mean Melody--calls Liam "Carrot Top", even though he's described as having "dark brown sex hair" (17). (I guess that means he's wearing a merkin toupee?)
The book opens up with Liam's POV. He's having sex with a woman he doesn't care about. It is important to set the stage with lots of slut-shaming, because this is an easy way to make Melody look good later by comparison. This is on the day that he's meeting his bride-to-be, by the way. And do his family members arrive just in time to see the unfortunate girl depart and throw in a bit of slut-shaming of their own? Can I get a Sarah Palin "You Betcha"?
She pouted, and it was ugly. Most of her facial expressions were ugly, but I didn't keep her around for her face, or her brain for that matter (7).
^Even this, as disgusting as it is, is mild compared to some of the woman-hate in this book.
"Maybe if the women knew how hard it was to make a few million, they wouldn't spend it so quickly" (31).
Because all women are good for is having sex and buying shoes! LOL!
The timid girl glanced at us, but did not answer. Instead, she kept her eyes glued to the floor. If she didn't speak up soon, I would twist her ugly little head off (33).
Because if women are ugly, it doesn't matter if they're killed! LOL!
"What I wouldn't give to fuck the shit out of her tight pussy. I would ride the fuck out of her until she broke down like a good little cunt whore" (249).
Because it's okay if men joke about raping you if you have a husband to shoot them in the head! LOL! That's so empowering! (Wait...)
"Where is that big bad bitch who set fire to the bossess' wedding? Or are you just an Irish bitch now? Did Callahan fuck all the fight out of you?" (284)
Because even if you're married, you can still be a whore! LOL! Fuck you, you pregnant cow!
"You're going to let them rape me?" She tried not to look scared. The men all cringed at the thought.
"No one wants you, whore" (340).
Because nobody ever rapes women who aren't pretty and asking for it! LOL!
But wait--that's just the slut-shaming done by the menfolk. Melody slut-shames, too! Because nothing says girl power like taking a dig at other women!
"What's wrong with getting pregnant?" Olivia asked, glaring as she drank her wine while the servants brought our food.
"Nothing," Mel said, glaring back." Nothing at all, especially when you do nothing else other than make yourself look pretty and shop" (150).
Silly whore, you can't be empowered unless you're emasculating! LOL!
"Barbie, I know I'm better than you," Melody said, sipping her red wine. It was basically a food group for her. "All of my parts are original and not made in China" (151).
Silly whore, don't you know that having big boobs automatically makes you a slut? Even when you're born with them, but especially if you're not? LOL! (I guess that makes me a slut, then. Who knew?)
""Shut the fuck up, you five cent bitch," I said before she dared to lie and tell me how sorry she was. "My husband is off the market. You should be ashamed of yourself. We're in God's house...the very church we were married in, and you are thinking of trying to have an affair. You are a disgusting little whore. How many daddy issues could you possibly have?" (171)
Silly whore, HOW DARE YOU STEAL MY HUSBAND. LOL! BUT SERIOUSLY. I'M ABOUT TO GIVE YOU A MAFIA-STYLE SWIRLIE! LKJSDLFSLDJ KFSDJFLSD >:A
"I believe she said I a [sic] classless, emotionless, cunt-faced daughter of a whore" (185).
"There are very few people I consider to be 'women'" (247).
Silly whore, the opposite is true! Most women are, indeed, worthy of being called women.
...Except you, Melody. You're a separate class entirely. And that's not a compliment. LOL!
All that would have been enough to make me hate this book a million times over.
But that's not the least of it.
The editing is shite.
Now, I get that this is an indie effort, and that the author might not have the money for a publisher, but God, even a final read-through before publishing or just sending it to a friend to have a second pair of eyes give it a quick look-over would have caught some of these problems.
(And yes, I got this from Netgalley, so I have the galley edition, but a lot of the problems in question are technical errors, like odd or convoluted syntax, so the problem is deeper than just bad editing. The author's writing style is riddled with extremely poor grammar.)
Evelyn, looked too sweet to be packing with her sandy brown hair curled gracefully under a large sun hat, but then again, it was my grandmother who had taught me how to fire my first gun (22).
^I have no idea what is going on with this sentence. I think two got smushed together by accident.
...I was laying on a bed alone (187).
^Not how you use the verb "to lay"...unless Melody is an anthropomorphic chicken, that is.
Part of me wanted to lay with him. A big part of me wanted to lay with him to him [sic] (200).
^Again, not how you use "to lay." It should have been "lie."
Also, there's a typo.
"Ninety percent of those wounds could have been self-inflicted. After all she is a very unstable woman with a history of stalking and violent acts in a fit of jealously [sic]..." (225)
"Please send the officers in," my Mel replied as she walked, more like glided, toward me (235).
^Awkward sentence structure.
The author also seems to have trouble understanding how to use quotation marks when the same person is speaking but their dialogue is broken up over the span of multiple paragraph. This is how she does it.
Liam said, "blah blah blah blah."
"Blah blah blah blah."
But since Liam is the one talking in both those instances, it should be written like this:
Liam said, "blah blah blah blah.
"Blah blah blah blah."
You don't put quotation marks around the end of the last sentence. I think of it as a gracious pause, like the beat of silence you allow in conversation to see if the person really has finished speaking.
Just a thought.
But no, that STILL doesn't even begin to describe what's wrong with the book.
For example, the moments of sheer, face-palm-worthy WTFuckery:
[The Irish] could drink every day, from dusk until dawn, and still walk in a straight line (18).
"The Irish and their fucking drama" (21).
"Rule two. We never use a fucking condom" (128).
"Patrick Darragh, is like my malware. He can make sure nothing that we don't want in the press gets in the press, and he can also get anything on air in seconds" (131).
"You fucking Irish breed like rabbits" (132).
I was the girl who murdered a cartel member at seventeen because he stole a pound of weed from us (200).
"However, I know why I was created. God needs me" (235).
The laughable sex scenes:
I stared up at her in amusement, holding on to her thighs as she ripped my pants to get at my dick. She didn't have to wait because the moment she pulled my pants from me it sprung up before us. This was why I chose to go without boxers (121).
He pulled on the drawstring on his pants. His dick was pointed right at me... (207).
Sometimes they were quite titillating. I will concede this point: the author is capable of writing sexy scenes. But then the dialogue would devolve into something that sounded like a preteen girl writing, well, fanfiction. It was just juvenile. I wanted to giggle, like I was in elementary school again. So not sexy. But this is more of a matter of personal taste. I'm bringing it up only because it impacts the rating I gave the book and I am trying to write a well-rounded review.
Then there's the sheer repetition.
Then there's the sheer repetition.
Then there's the sheer repetition.
He was amazing and had stamina that was unheard of (99).
He had stamina like I had never seen (208).
The writing was very lazy in this regard. There were several other instances like that, and while I didn't bother to keep track of them all, it was frequent enough that I went through the whole book with a feeling that was very much like deja vu. You know most word processors have thesauruses, right?
Since I was reading an e-copy of this book, I was able to perform a search function on the words I noticed being used the most.
The first was fuck. The word fuck is bandied around in this book a lot. Which sounds prudish, because hey, we all say fuck, it's an awesome word. (If you haven't seen the video of "The Usage of the Word Fuck", you should, as it is both hilarious and edifying. I thought about it a lot while reading this book. Mainly how much I would rather be watching it than reading this PoS.)
Now, I did have to do the counting myself, so I could be off by a bit, but by my count, the word "fuck" (and variations of it, such as motherfucker and fucking) were used 213 times by page 100. By page 200, it was used 402 times, and by the end of the last fucking page, the word fuck had been used a stunning 619 fucking times in total. I was a little disappointed, to be honest. I was hoping it would break 1k.
That's an average of 1.7 fucks per page.
(That's 1.7 more than the number I gave this book.)
The second word that was overused to the point of me rolling my eyes every time it made an appearance was "glare" or "glaring." The two main characters, Liam and Melody, spend a lot of time glaring at each other, or their enemies, or even just glaring because. They're bad guys. It's what bad guys do.
I performed my handy dandy CTRL-F search and counted up the times the word appeared. Again, I could be off by a bit, but by my count, the word was used 115 times. That's a lot of glaring--it causes wrinkles, you know. And then you might have to get one of those face-lifts that automatically turns you into a whore. :(
You're probably wondering why I read this book to the end if I disliked it so much. That's because I am very tired of trolls telling me that I didn't like a book because I didn't read to the glorious ending that would have blown my mind, and completely changed my thoughts and feelings about the book. Gentle reader, I read all the way up to the back cover (well, the virtual version of it, anyway), and I still hated the book.
First, I would just like to say that I am incredibly disturbed that this book was published by an imprint of Scholastic, which markets to preteens and children. BREAKING BUTTERFLIES contains some ideas that are, frankly, harmful and dangerous.
***MAJOR SPOILERS TO COME***
The book opens with a story about the two protags' parents. There were two girls named Sarah and Leigh. Sarah is a shy loser who is completely blindsided by the amazing and beautiful Leigh. They become best friends, and decide that when they grow up, Leigh will have a boy named Cadence and Sarah will have a girl named Sphinx, and their children will be married, and then the two of them will be grandmothers together. Pinkie swear?
They end up doing just that, and Sphinx (Sphinxie) and Cadence become friends. Except there's something not quite right about Cadence. When he's just five years old, he smashes a butterfly in his hands, making Sphynxie cry. Sphynxie's father doesn't trust Cadence after that, but the two mommies are like, "No, he's just a little boy, he doesn't know what he did was wrong." But then, a few years later, Sphinxie and Cadence are left unsupervised, and Cadence informs Sphinxie that she is "his" and slashes her in the face with a knife, almost gouging out her eye. Sphinxie's father goes, "I told you so." Sphinxie gets stitches, and Leigh's mother whisks Cadence off to England, because apparently England is a cure for sociopathy.
Now Sphinxie is a teenager and one day she finds her mother in the kitchen talking on the phone. It turns out that Cadence has terminal leukemia. Terminal, because his mother, Leigh, has decided that she doesn't want him to have to go through chemotherapy because there's a chance that it might not work, and she doesn't want him to barf. Because mothers totally think, "Oh, gee! There's a pretty big chance this cure won't help my baby, whom I love very much. Might as well just let him die au naturel, then!" that is totally what any loving mother would do in this situation.
Sphinxie decides that she has to see him though, because he was her best friend when they were kids! She owes it to him! Never mind that he cut her in the face with a knife and almost gouged out one of her eyes, they're still best friends. Obviously, Sphinxie's father is not cool with this but Sphinxie insists, so her mother decides that one week probably won't hurt.
So they go to England.
Cadence is sickly looking but Sphinxie is totally attracted to him. Because he's so hot! He practically sparkles, just like Edward Cullen (you may think I'm exaggerating; I am not. I lost count of how many times Sphinxie says Cadence "shines"). He paints. He plays piano sadly. He's good at chess.
He's also a sociopath.
Cadence still believes Sphinxie is his. He tells her that according to their mothers' little legend, they are destined to be married and have children. He gets mad at her for putting concealer on the scar on her face, because he wants everyone to see his mark on her. He gets angry for no reason, and when Sphinxie goes into his super-sekrit painting study without asking his permission, he explodes when he finds out, threatens her, and then pushes her to the floor, causing her to scream.
The two moms rush in and Cadence is SO SORRY OMG I DIDN'T MEAN IT, and Sphinxie feels bad because she shouldn't have trespassed in his sekrit space and also, he is dying, so mulligan.
When the week draws to a close, Sphinxie's mom is relieved to be going home, but guess what? Sphinxie doesn't want to go home. She wants to stay with Cadence until he dies, because he's so lonely and cares about her so much and he needs her and she has to do this for him because that is the not-selfish thing to do. Because when someone is abusing you, it's because they need you, or possibly because they're dying of cancer. Because apparently cancer is a free pass to be evil as you please.
More fuckery happens.
Cadence, Sphinxie, and Leigh go to a pet store. Cadence looks at a little budgie and decides he wants it. Later, he tries to kill it in front of his mom and Sphinxie. When Sphinxie makes him let it go, Cadence attacks her, and they fall into a glass table and get impaled with shards of glass. "Don't call an ambulance!" Sphinxie says, even though she's got a shard of glass sticking through her palm. "I'm fine!" So in a bid for worst mother of the year, Leigh says OK, and she drives Cadence to the hospital, and he gets some medicine and everything is okay.
Except Sphinxie tells her parents what happened.
"WHAT THE FUCK?" say her parents. "COME HOME IMMEDIATELY!"
"I can't," says Sphinxie. "I need to stay here for him. Can't you see how badly he needs me?"
By this point, I'm thinking, no way can this possibly get any worse. I mean, we're already glorifying an abusive relationship -- and this is a physically and emotionally abusive relationship that makes books like TWILIGHT and, I hate to say it, FIFTY SHADES OF GREY, look like Disney.
But Cadence has another WTF ace up his sleeve. "Guess what?" he says, "I'm going to die soon, and I want you to die with me, because I'm not going to live long enough for us to be married and have babies, so I bought you a knife, and when I tell you to I want you to kill yourself with us and together we shall be dead and still and it will be art. Because suicide pacts are romantic."
Sphinxie is horrified, but she also likes the idea of being a marble statue. Especially when Cadence tells her that they can be holding hands when they die. She starts thinking about this seriously. She cares about Cadence so much, can she really live without him? And he wants this so much, why should he die alone? She doesn't tell anyone this because she knows that if she does, even Worst Mother of the Year will probably send her packing because that's pretty fucked up.
Although...Cadence later tells Sphinxie that his mother knew he was a sociopath all along, because the psychologists diagnosed him as one. But Leigh didn't tell Sphinxie's mom because she knew that Sarah wouldn't bring Sphinxie to England if she knew that her BFF's son was a murderous sociopath. Denial. Not just a river somewhere in Egypt.
Sphinxie's father, the only rational human being in this book, has had enough, though, and she and her mother end up booking a flight. Which makes Sphinxie angry. How dare they take away her right to kill herself! Maybe she ought to kill herself anyway, because it's not like Cadence is taking away any of her rights! After all, he has cancer and he needs her here so much and she loves him.
At the end of the book Cadence gets really sick, and Sphinxie tells her parents she's not coming home until Cadence is dead, and good sense goes out the window because Cadence has cancer, so they say, "Okay, sweetie, you can stay with the dying sociopath. We'll come up for the funeral and then take you home." Then Cadence and decides it's suicide pact time. He kills that poor little bird and tells Sphinxie it's her turn next. But Sphinxie decides she doesn't want to die, although she does tell Cadence that she loves him. And then Cadence dies and she cries.
But it's okay, because she has eggs in her uterus! She will have a baby one day! And then she will tell her baby the story about her tragic love affair with the beautiful shiny special sociopath.
I am not kidding.
Let's go over what we've learned here today, shall we?
1. Cancer is a magical thing that allows you to be as cruel and terrible as you want.
2. If a guy cuts your face with a knife, it means he loves you so much he wants to mark you as his.
3. If a guy asks you to do a suicide pact with him, it is romantic and artistic and not creepy as fuck.
4. As a woman, your primary objective in life is making babies. And planning weddings.
5. If a person you love turns on you, it is selfish to run away as fast as you can.
6. Lying about whether someone is hurting you/planning to hurt you is perfectly healthy.
7. If a man plays piano, is good at chess, and paints pretty pictures, he can't be a sociopath.
8. This was a love story, and not society's cry for help.
I am...I don't even have words. How did this book get published? And why is it being marketed to impressionable teen girls?
The closest he will ever come to happiness is when he's hurting her. Will she let him? A beautiful and twisted story of first love and innocence lost--written when the author was just eighteen.
Red Queen features one of the bitchiest, sanctimonious, self absorbed, and narcissistic characters I have EVER encountered in literature. The winnerRed Queen features one of the bitchiest, sanctimonious, self absorbed, and narcissistic characters I have EVER encountered in literature. The winner of the Righteous Bitch award is Margaret Beaufort, Plantagenet and progenitor of the Tudors.
Originally I felt sorry for her. I mean, here's this girl who lives in a fantasy land and has somehow convinced herself that she's destined to be the next Joan of Arc, or at the very least a saint, and then her mother foists her off - at twelve - to be the wife of some middle-aged noble whose sexual encounters run along the lines of Wham! Bam! Heir me, Ma'am!. She has a very awful and painful experience with childbirth, and finds out that her mother has given her midwives explicit directions to save the life of her son rather than hers, if it comes to that.
Oprah does not approve.
Then Margaret's husband, Edmund, dies, and she ends up marrying this other dude, Henry Stafford, who's quite a bit nicer than her other husband . . . except for the fact that he's a filthy opportunist! And he doesn't like fighting in war! What a pussy! How dare he value his own life and the life of his family over his country! What an awful man! The way she treated her husband was quite revolting. She was always nagging him to go into battle, and pressing him for descriptions when he was quite obviously traumatized. She resents him for being cowardly and old, and it is at this point that her naivete stops being endearing and starts making her sound like a five-year-old throwing a temper tantrum in a nursery.
To make matters worse, Margaret starts obsessing over Elizabeth Woodville and Edward of York, the current holders of the throne. Originally, her child was next in line, but the throne was seized by another family in battle. She alternates between calling Elizabeth a whore and a witch, basically asking, "Why don't you just ride off on your broomstick then, bitch?", resenting her for being pretty and shapely, and bitching that "she isn't even that pretty, anyway! And she's dumber than me and not as blessed by God as I am." (Seriously.)
Margaret calls the both of them traitors, and spends much of her time in church praying for their deaths. THEN, after the death of her second husband, she starts speculating that maybe she would like to marry Edward after all, if only so her son could be queen and she could sign her name Margaret R. (for Regina) on letters and bits of stationery. She points out that she would be a better wife because she doesn't care about his looks (although he is very attractive), though the thought of him naked makes her shudder in disgust because she imagines that he must demand all sorts of crude and perverted acts in the bedroom, the foul traitor! Still, she wants to marry him even though she hates him, and resents Elizabeth (WITCH! WITCH!) for being alive.
Margaret also spends a lot of her time praying for the death of their young son, because apparently that is an equal crime tantamount to depriving her son of the throne. There are pages and pages of this hate, and it is rather akin to reading the diary of a teenage girl. I just got so sick and tired of the stupid narrator because she is such a bitch, and it's no small wonder her husbands both died - they probably offed themselves to avoid her vitriolic nagging.
Also, it's kind of ironic that Margaret claims to be so blessed by the grace of God, and a direct recipient of His ear, because if you know anything about Catholic dogma, you'd know that Margaret actually embodies many aspects of the seven deadly sins.
Greed: I'm not happy being a lady, I want to be QUEEN OF ENGLAND!
Sloth: My husbands should fight for me, because I'm a lady and therefore incapable of lifting a finger, let alone a sword! For the same reasons, nursemaids shall feed and look after my son for me, and scholars shall provide the education and discipline!
Wrath: I'm going to pray that God will smite the people I hate! Whooppee!
Envy: I'd be a much better queen/wife/lay than that Elizabeth Woodville slutfacewhore. God, I wish I were queen instead of her!
Pride: God has blessed me with His special favor because I am so fucking awesome. My son should be king, and I should be the dowager queen, and I am a special, unique, beautiful snowflake and if you do not do as I command, I shall pray to God for bad things to happen to you. YAY ME
Margaret Beaufort: Holy Bitch, or Wholly Bitch? You decide.
I wrote a negative review of this book, and then was asked to remove it by the publisher. So I wrote a placeholder review explaining why I wOH MY GOD.
I wrote a negative review of this book, and then was asked to remove it by the publisher. So I wrote a placeholder review explaining why I was taking the review down and a copy of the (rude) email I received asking me to remove it because the publisher seemed to be asking only negative reviewers to remove their reviews.
And my review was DELETED?
Thanks. Thanks a lot for that. :|
So I'm editing this review YET AGAIN. This time it will be about the book, in order to satisfy Goodreads' rules. But it will not be a full, comprehensive review in order to satisfy the publisher's. Hopefully it won't be removed this time...
Anyway, I thought this book was terrible. I'm not allowed to tell you why until March 31st, but it was not a good book. The characters and their actions were deplorable, to the point where I was unable to get through the whole thing.
I liked this author's earlier works, but now I get the impression that there's just no effort being put into these books. With WHERE SEA MEETS SKY, both characters were caricatures who had the emotional depth of mirrors, and I got the feeling that KH was appropriating nerd and geek culture to capitalize on what's popular, instead of doing that complicated and interesting subculture justice.
I suppose my biggest issue with books like these is how we're supposed to believe a guy is decent just because he has a big d*** and puts the heroine on a pedestal while simultaneously debasing all other women who preceded his current lay. I don't know about you, but I don't think that's sexy at all.
This isn't a romance novel at all. It's a handy-dandy guide on what not to do as a wI've figured it out, you guys.
No, seriously, I've figured it out.
This isn't a romance novel at all. It's a handy-dandy guide on what not to do as a writer, but disguised as a novel to underscore the point all the more effectively.
Ana, see, she's the epitome of Mary Sue - don't write your character like Ana!
Christian, he's the epitome of Marty Stu - don't write your character like Christian!
All that icky sex, like the tampon scene, the spatula scene, the soapy washcloth in the wahoo scene - all big no-nos! See how important it is to do your research? How else would you know that yes, you can get sex on your period, and that sticking soap up your cooch can give you a urinary tract infection?
I finally get what EL James meant, when she said she had "set the bar quite high in terms of storytelling." This is probably the most ingenious allegory I've seen since Animal Farm.
I'm changing my rating for this book from 2 stars to 1 star because the more I thought about it, the more I realized how much DIVERGENT really upset me. (There is a discussion about this in the comments, if you're really curious about the reasons behind the one-star difference, or if you would just like to join in the discussion.)
So when this book first came out, I was like, "Hmm, I should probably read this." But then I thought, "Nooo, I know what happens when I read books like this. I hate them and then people get mad at me, and I feel bad, and I hate myself for putting myself through this--again--and why do I do these things to myself again OH MY GOD." So I was like, "Okay, I better not read this."
But then my friend--my friend--says, "Hey, I got this amazing book and it is so awesome and I am sure you'll like it and DID YOU KNOW THERE'S A MOVIE? HERE, BORROW IT."
And the book--was DIVERGENT.
And I was like, "Well, fuck. Now I have to read it."
DIVERGENT is an odd paperweight of a book. It's 467 pages but feels ten times longer, because nothing happens until page 260 or so. And yes, you can argue, "But there was action! They jumped off buildings, and hopped on moving trains, and there were fights, and people got hurt!" Yes, all those things did happen. But there was no real point to them. What were they preparing for? They are in Chicago. And what happens in Chicago in the future apparently stays in Chicago because there is no mention of the Outside World. (And Internet. Does Internet no longer exist in the future? How horrifying.) So they are in Chicago preparing to fight...somebody. But who? A giant train?
Beatrice Prior is in Abnegation, which is a faction. Factions are basically cliques, except they're also careers, too, and maybe also religion, because I swear, with the feet-washing and the guilt, and the self-sacrifice, Abnegation was more of a cult than a...whatever a faction was supposed to be. (The same goes for Dauntless, actually. I'm sorry, but anyone who describes suicide as an act of Ultimate Bravery is a suicide cult. And Eric is its leader.)
Why are there factions? Because...somebody decided humanity worked better, if you split them apart and made them have obvious differences. Because, you know, that worked so well for Palastine and Israel. Or the Shiites and the Sunnis. Or, as a less extreme example, the unpopular people and the jocks. DIFFERENCES MAKE EVERYONE GET ALONG--oh wait, no they don't.
So yeah, our five factions are
The best way to describe this book is a cross between HUNGER GAMES, VAMPIRE ACADEMY, and HARRY POTTER. With a religious agenda. I could really tell that the author was religious, and probably some fairly extreme form of it--the references to God (either oblique or direct), the hairshirt philosophies of the Abnegates, the martyr aspects, or the fact that Tris's mom believes that all people are inherently evil--and as an agnostic, some of the things being pushed here really disturbed me.
For example, the vilification of curiosity, technology, and knowledge. Technology is eeeeevilllll. Biomedical technology is eeeeevillll. Creating AI will lead to zombies!!! Smart people only want to manipulate you, and hijack your brainz!!! There's a What Faction Are You? quiz in the back of the book and of course I scored as Erudite (because let's be honest--oh wait, I'm not all that honest. Buh-bye, Candor. And I'm too much of a meanie book reviewer to be in Amity. And the less we say about my bravery, the better. I can't even go on the kiddie roller-coasters at Great America). So maybe I'm pissed that scoring as Erudite makes me eeeevilll. But seriously, why?
That's a question I asked myself a lot over the course of the book: "But seriously, WHY?"
Why does wearing all black, piercing yourself, getting tats, and running into oncoming traffic (yes, they DO this), make you brave? Doesn't that just make you stupid? Four at one point says that Dauntless has a boundary between bravery and idiocy. WHERE THE HELL IS THAT BOUNDARY? Because apparently in Dauntless Land, jumping in front of trains, suicide, and beating the shit out of people are totally cool. Yeah, nothing idiotic about any of those things. But learning, on the other hand, is bad! Terrible! Reading a book = synonymous with Nazi party! HOW DARE YOU MEMORIZE ALL THOSE FACTS, WILL? NOBODY LEARNS ANYTHING IN FUTURE CHICAGO! NOT NOBODY, NOT NOHOW. I'M CALLING JOE MCCARTHY.
And let's not even get started on the violence. The Dauntless have these Fight Club sessions where they beat the crap out of each other on a regular basis. This is how you move up in the ranks in Dauntless. They also teach them how to use guns, and apparently only the Dauntless use weapons. (Which doesn't make sense, because if I was living next to a bunch of crazy people like the Dauntless, I would definitely want to own a gun.) There's attempted rape, attempted murder, somebody gets an eye gouged out, people get guns held up to their heads, oh and somebody dies on the train. But nobody cares. HAHAHAHA YOU ARE THE WEAK LINK. GOODBYE.
Bea(Tris) keeps whining about how she's not selfless enough, but at the same time, what IS selfless? According to the book, it's giving poor people food and giving up seats on the bus and not asking questions. For the WHOLE 480-something ENTIRETY of the book, we have to listen to Tris say, "I'm brave, but am I brave enough? Oh God, I don't think so. But wait, yes I am! I have to prove myself! I am DAUNTLESS! I am also selfish. That's why I'm going to beat the crap out of people. I have to prove myself. I have to be #1...even though that will call attention to myself as a DIVERGENT." Man, this girl has no self-preservation instinct AT ALL.
She's also vain as fcuk. There are about six or seven instances where she stands in front of a mirror and reports back EVERYTHING she sees. And yeah, I figured out, "Hey, she's Abnegation and they aren't allowed to look at mirrors. So she's like, Oh, who's that?" But she does it ALL THE TIME. Eventually the thrill should wear off. Plus, she doesn't think she's pretty. Which just doesn't make sense. I mean, she's tiny, and skinny, and she has curves and everyone is flirting with her all the time. It's like the author was like, "I'm going to write a strong, confident women...except, uh-oh, women aren't supposed to be too confident! I'd better make her awkward about her sex appeal and sex!"
And oh my God, the references to sex in this book are as awkward as a middle school sex ed. video. SO MUCH STAMMERING. It's SEX, people. Not an invite to a BDSM play room. Did I mention that the relationship between Four and Tris is SO CONTRIVED? I actually liked Four, but I didn't like him with Tris. They had no chemistry. But it's SO IMPORTANT FOR A FEMALE CHARACTER TO FALL INTO INSTA-LOVE WITH THE FIRST HOT GUY SHE SEES. Because reasons. Never mind the awkward maybe-sorta-not-really love triangle with Al. Poor Al.
Poor Tris's family.
Poor girl who got run over by train.
SO MANY BAD THINGS HAPPEN IN THIS BOOK. It's like Final Destination. People keep dying for no reason except...fate, maybe! Who the hell knows? I don't care anymore. And they aren't even given a second thought. Like Tris feels bad for maybe half a second (if she even notices at all--it depends on whether or not Four happens to be in the room at the time), and then she's like, "Four! Being brave! Dauntless! Not being selfish! Not letting anyone know I'm divergent!"
Except you bring up your divergence every fucking chance you get, you moron.
Tris is pretty much an irredeemable Mary Sue. She doesn't just have two factions, no, she has three. (Dauntless, Abnegation, and Erudite--oh the IRONY. That's like finding out Crabbe and Goyle were originally meant to be Ravenclaws LOLOLOL) But she eliminates Erudite because they're eeeevilllll, F U. I felt like the whole idea of factions was created as an excuse to make Tris Captain Snowflake of the Speshul Brigade. Also, forbidden romance! BECAUSE SHE IS DIVERGENT AND IF FOUR FINDS OUT HE MIGHT KILL HER. :O :O :O Because that totally did not happen in THE HUNGER GAMES. And the whole falling for your instructor thing, but not being able to because favoritism and also NOT ALLOWED? Yeah, that was totally VAMPIRE ACADEMY.
There are a lot of other things that bothered me, which I've probably forgotten (it was a really long book), but if you want a blow-by-blow you can check out my status updates on Goodreads. All 34 of them. But I'm going to do a quick summing up about what I liked and disliked about the book.
-Four & Christina (sort of)
-The fear landscapes
-EVERYTHING ELSE (especially Tris)
I don't understand all the love for this book. It read like an indie novel. I felt like the writing and plot were very subpar and that about 10k words could have been cut (like all the times she spent looking into the mirror, or the pointless descriptions of hamburgers--I DON'T CARE). But hey, the 4.35 rating begs to differ. I don't think even the bible has ratings that high. So hey, maybe when it comes to books, my taste is...DIVERGENT. LOL.
Sometimes I wonder what it would be like, to be one of those women who always agrees with the majority. Sobbing along to The Notebook, calling Christian Grey your book boyfriend, believing in love at first sight...it must be nice. I'm not one of those women. In fact, the only thing that keeps me from being a total raving bitch is that I know (sometimes) when to keep my unpopular opinions to myself.
This is not one of those times.
Unless you've been living under a rock, you are probably aware of John Green's incredible success with THE FAULT IN OUR STARS. Not that he was lacking in success before. And as he continues to break the bank, lesser authors are falling over themselves in attempt to ride his coattails and scoop up any dropped cash. Jennifer Niven, with her terrible attempt at FAULT IN OUR STARS PART II: BIPOLAR EDITION is one of these.
It's hard to say, exactly, why this book pisses me off. There are so many reasons. One is that, as someone who has had problems with depression in the past and who knows many other people with depression and bipolar who struggle with their disorders daily, this book is really fucking insulting. Niven attempts to glamorize bipolar and suicidal ideation, and in doing so marginalizes everyone afflicted with the disorder. Finch, who has what is probably Bipolar II, is a pretentious ass-hatter. He's nasty to everyone except Violet, reckless, pretentious, and fascinated with suicide. But the way it's written, he turns suicide into a game. "Hmm, this might be fun," he goes. "Will I, or won't I?"
Violet is also depressed because of her sister's death. They were close and now she's gone, and she thinks she might like to die, too. So she climbs up to the school's bell tower with the intent of jumping and -- surprise, surprise -- Finch is already there, and persuades her not to jump. (Which made me think of Jack and Rose from the Titanic, and yes, it is just as contrived.) After this, they form a relationship. And really, what kind of a message is that to send to teens? It's basically the same thing that New Moon got so much criticism for: "put your life in danger, and hot men will save you!"
Another thing that bothered me about the book is its complete lack of authenticity. The teens in this book do not sound like teens. A good percentage of their romantic exchanges consists of quoting Virginia Woolf (and does the fact that Virginia Woolf committed suicide foreshadow something, perhaps suicidal ideation? Oh look, someone read the Wikipedia page about depression and suicide! Good job! Here's your gold star) at each other and paragraphs of navel gazing a la John Green that really made me want to exfoliate because at least when John Green does it, you expect that from John Green; it's far more painful to see someone do it in conscious imitation. I mean, for fuck's sake.
Oh, -- and even at my darkest points, I still thought Virginia Woolf had a giant stick up her ass.
The way suicide and depression are treated in this book is also sickening. When Violet's parents find out that he was thinking about killing himself, they treat him as if he's got leprosy -- like his suicidal nature might rub off on their daughter (literally) and cause a gun to magically appear in her hand and blow her head off. The entire school calls Finch (whose full name is Theodore Finch) Theodore Freak. The school paper publishes a list of the top 10 suicidal students, and the faculty allows this (never mind that no school in their right mind would do this because of the potential lawsuits and psychological trauma). In fact, the principal actually interrogates Finch (who is number one on the list), giving him a hard time about whether he is going to kill himself because, after all, the idiotic assholes on the school paper said it, so it must be fucking true!
I am honestly blown away by the fact that this book has been optioned for a movie already because it is pretty much a carbon copy of THE FAULT IN OUR STARS -- worse, it brings nothing new to the table, somehow managing to be both pretentious and ignorant, while also insulting the very people it claims to be bringing attention to. I didn't cry while reading this book. I said, ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW, and deducted another star for predictability.
This was quite possibly the most over-hyped book I have come across in years. I can't believe they're making a movie out of something that's so unpolished. It is awful, offensive, and ignorant, and I am honestly shocked that it doesn't have more negative reviews because HOLY SHIT.
Oh, book. How do you piss me off? Let me count the ways.
1. You try to masquerade as a strong female fantasy noveFeminist fiction you say?
Oh, book. How do you piss me off? Let me count the ways.
1. You try to masquerade as a strong female fantasy novel when your MC is a total bitch who spends all her time debating over whether or not to give her husband permission when he ravishes her or not (because it's not rape if you're married, folks!).
2. The MC's first husband sleeps around, but she's totally OK with that - until he starts giving her younger sister The Eye. Oh, but god help the MC if she ever decides to cheat. When she even looks at a guy wrong her husband comes close to beating and then raping her.
3. Borderline pedophilia. Because if she's got her monthlies, you can give it to her daily, apparently.
4. Merlin is a pimp in this novel. No, seriously. He is. "Cheat on your husband - he's going to be dead anyway soon and this guy is a total stud. Plus, who's the whore and who's the wizard here? Exactly. NOW SLEEP WITH HIM YOU SLUT. AND BEAR THE SON I NEED FOR MY PROPHECY!"
5. He's not a rapist. He just didn't know how to deal with the young beautiful girl he was saddled with as a wife. As soon as she stopped fighting him and calling it "rape" he was a perfectly nice man. No, that's not Stockholm Syndrome at all. It's marriage.
It's not even particularly well-written, either. I found it very heavy-handed and full of purple prose. The words were so tangled up in their own sense of self-importance that I found myself forgetting the plot so many times that I eventually just stopped caring.
Plus, all the rape and girly things and rampant sexism really grated my cheese, if you know what I mean. I just can't read a book that makes me want to do this:
HOLY SHI- WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN . . . I THINK I'M GOING TO THROW UP.
I can't . . . I just . . . can't.
Don't make me review this. Noooooooooooooo.
.HOLY SHI- WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN . . . I THINK I'M GOING TO THROW UP.
I can't . . . I just . . . can't.
Don't make me review this. Noooooooooooooo.
. . . OK. I . . .
I think I'll be all right now. *vomits*
American Psycho is about a psychopath. Obviously. He's Ivy League-educated, with a really good job, and an expensive apartment in the Upper West Side. Women love him, men want to be him. He spends the vast majority of his day trying to be really really ridiculously good-looking in the style of Derek Zoolander, or hanging out with his friends, all of whom have about as much depth as a mirror. But by night, he goes around torturing and killing men, women, children, and animals. And since this is written in first-person, there is no escape from this horrible narrative, no handy-dandy ellipses to trail off as the scene transitions to another character.
Just in case that wasn't enough, though, he's also a snob, a racist, a bigot, and a misogynist. You know, in addition to being a serial killer. Because the polite 'good old boy'-type killers who love their moms are hypocrites. Treat everyone like they're next on your list! The real irony is that Patrick Bateman (the psychopath) hangs out with such a shallow, jaded bunch of people that they figure he's just joking, or attempting to be shocking, when he drops sinister hints about what he does in his free time. Anyone else would raise an eyebrow, or at least maybe phone in a call to the police. But Pat's friends? Yeah, they just laugh - at least, until they start screaming. Everyone in this book is unlikable. Pat's just the only one who's an actual psychotic.
I'm not giving a summary because I'd actually rather forget what I just read. In fact, I'll be taking the next Nope Train to Fuckthatville because the sooner this book is forgotten, the better. In fact, I'm not even entirely sure why this is on the 1001-books list. It's like someone threw Clockwork Orange, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Hannibal Lecter, and 1984 into a blender and had Chuck Palahniuk write it. WHY ARE THERE BARELY ANY HAPPY BOOKS ON THAT LIST? Yeah, it's important to be able to recognize the harm cruelty and violence and oppression can do - but I still think the 1001-list would be far more valid if it was filled with books about the triumph of the human spirit. You know, racial and sexual equality (or the struggle thereof), love, the pursuit of happiness, scientific and artistic creativity. It's kind of depressing, really.
And I'm so freaking tired of people saying, "No, you just don't get what they're trying to say here. The writer is trying to symbolize ________ and ________, through gratuitous but artistic ritualistic violence."
Because if that's what it takes to understand, I'd rather remain in the dark, thank you very much, Mr./Mrs./Ms. Pretentious. Quite honestly, I don't think Bret Easton Ellis is a very good writer, and the only reason this book is even on the list at all is because he decided to dance all over the lines of what constitutes morally acceptable in literature. (Which is kind of like giving a kid a place in a modern art museum for writing some really lewd and bigoted graffiti on a building.)
So . . . yeah. If you are easily offended, very religious, squeamish by violence, and do not want to see a rat eat its way through someone's vagina, do not read this book.
And because I made you go through all that, here's a cute baby penguin.
This is one of the worst 'romance' novels I've ever read. The main charactYou can read more of my reviews, faster, at my blog, The Armchair Librarian.
This is one of the worst 'romance' novels I've ever read. The main character is a total idiot, offensive to women everywhere, and the male character isn't a love interest so much as a borderline sociopath whose cruel actions are rationalized by the cheapest possible means (and ineffectively, to boot).
I don't understand why this book has the high rating that it does, but since that's the reason I applied for it on Netgalley I suggest you exercise caution while reading this book, else you're bound to be disappointed.
Also, trigger warnings for this book and review: rape, dubious consent, non-consent, forced consent, blood play, knife play, abuse, sex trafficking, physical abuse/assault, gang-rape.
Tess is the main character and she has a boyfriend named Brax who is rich and doesn't have a personality. He also thinks Tess is too interested in sex. He also refuses to experiment in the bedroom and freaks out when she puts on fancy underwear for him and produces a giant dildo. A typically normal male reaction, I think you'll agree. Tess doesn't even bother telling him about her secret desires to be tied up, spanked, and violated, because she knows it'll scare her boyfriend away. But she obsesses about it constantly, and this is a cheap way to set the stage to explain why she isn't explained by the Hero's abuse.
I've never seen anyone fail so badly at self-respect, either.
"Two things I wanted most in the world: for Q to die a miserable death, and for him to fuck me" (128).
"The rape must've done something, made me a danger whore" (175).
She gets kidnapped in Mexico and sold into sex trafficking. This part was pretty gruesome but I think it's pretty obvious how not happy Tess is about it, so I didn't actually dislike these scenes all that much. They were dark, but her reactions to it were mostly realistic. I wasn't too wowed by the writing style, but I hoped that the plot would make up for it. (Hey, it can happen.)
All that changes when she gets sold to Q.
What can I say about Q?
I didn't find him sexy.
I know we're supposed to see him as tortured. Nope. I just saw him as a sick fuck who should have been arrested. At the end, when we're supposed to see him as redeemed? I still saw him as the same sick fuck, only he'd managed to brainwash Tess into seeing him as the hero. Actually, no, that's giving him too much credit. Tess pretty much brainwashes herself, does all the work for Q.
What the fuck is going on?
Here are some quotes from loverboy:
"if you bite, I'll hit you so hard, you won't wake up for days" (113).
"Your punishment for not obeying is starvation" (118).
"I'm not afraid of hurting you. I'm afraid of how far I'm willing to go" (128).
"Fuck, I want to make you bleed" (196).
"Your skin is beautiful whipped, Tess, blooming pink and red. I think a few more colours are needed. Perhaps a deep maroon" (223).
"I love treating you like dirt. It gets me fucking hard" (226)
"I was even jealous of myself when I fucked you" (272).
He's definitely got a Hannibal Lecter vibe going...but at least Hannibal was smart. This guy's just a moron with money.
And I don't understand why everything he did suddenly became okay when he:
-Threatened to rape her when she was scared
-Made her wear a revealing dress without underwear, and let her believe he was going to let his business associates take turns fucking her while she was chained to the ceiling
-Let one of his Russian colleagues pour boiling chocolate on her skin and then fuck her with a splintered knife handle
-Force her to have sex with him less than an hour after she was gang-banged and sustained vaginal tearingbecause he wanted her to "make new memories"
-Get mad at her for crying about being gang-banged
-Get mad at her for not forgetting about the rape the day after it happened
-Whips her until her back is basically pouring blood
-Cuts them both with his knife during sex
-Gets drunk every time he wants to have rough, bloody sex
Tess is no less disgusting an individual. She has internal monologues about everything. Like, how apparently there's different forms of rape, and it's okay if the guy who rapes you makes you think you kind of want it, especially if you come. That's right. The Russian guy with the knife who was a friend of Q and Q with his mind-fucks, constant abuse, and post-rape rape isn't rape, but the ugly guys who gang bang her - yeah, they were rape because they weren't hot or rich.
What kind of a fucking message is that to send?
Also, there's Tess talking about how therapy is horrid. Yes, because if you don't see a counselor, you're sweeping the problem under the carpet and everything's just hunky-dory, right?
FUCK THIS BOOK.
The writing, as I said before, isn't that great, and you get weird sentences/word combos like these:
"Growling, his tongue plundered mine ruthlessly, out of control" (79)
"my nipples pinpointed" (116)
"The silver tantalized in his fingers" (118).
There were more but those weren't really what I was focusing on in this review. However, they were noticeable enough that they jumped out at me and I thought I'd write them down because I try to do thorough, well-rounded reviews for books that I don't like, as I think it's really important to say why you don't like a book, because I always find those helpful when I'm making a purchasing decision.
I received this book for review from Netgalley, so the copy I'm quoting from might be different from yours - especially if the author decides to hire an editor and/or implement the changes.
Yes, that's me with glasses. A RARE SIGHT. (pun intended) xD
I'm always wary about books like these, books with a lot of hype, because then I get these expectations, and I'm terrified of being let down, so I want to read the book, but I get into this cycle of "oh my god, what if I hate it?" and the book is just sitting there, looking at me accusingly with its tempting cover, until I have no choice but to suck it up. So that's what I did here. I sucked it up.
I'm still not quite sure if that was a mistake.
Let me start by saying that no one can plunge the depths of the fucked-up human psyche like Gillian Flynn. I'm pretty sure she's taken a bevy of abnormal psychology classes, probably sitting up front with her little notebook, and cackling evilly to herself while taking notes. Her books could be textbook examples of clinically inappropriate behavior, and yet she does it in a way that is not at all cliche, so rather than rolling your eyes, you shudder when you see the happy husband and wife couple in the supermarket.
Because maybe they aren't so happy, after all.
"You'd literally lie, cheat, and steal--hell, kill--to convince people you are a good guy" (44).
Nick Dunne's marriage is on the rocks. His wife isn't the woman he thought she married, he's having a midlife crisis, he's tired of feeling like the bad guy, etc. Marriage has basically become a long laundry list of all the ways he is a fuck-up and that is not a good feeling. Now it's his anniversary, and he's pretty sure that she's going to find a way to make him feel even stupider than usual.
[She] was only remotely like the woman I fell in love with. It had been an awful fairy-tale reverse transformation. Over just a few years, the old Amy, the girl of the big laugh and the easy ways, literally shed herself, a pile of skin and soul on the floor, and out stepped this new, brittle, bitter Amy (49).
But it's worse, oh, so much worse. Because Nick's wife, Amy? She's disappeared. And it's starting to look as if said disappearance happened against her will. Happy anniversary, honey. Now the cops are giving him the hairy eyeball, and he's wondering, "what the fuck?" At the same time, we, the readers, are treated to Amy's side of things via her journal. It's told in before/after format, with dual POV, which a lot of writers cannot pull off (like Mary Kubica's GONE GIRL attempt--THE GOOD GIRL, a copycat attempt that is akin to going out to Taco Bell for some haute Mexican cuisine).
It's been a little while since my last Flynn book, but as I was chugging along with GONE GIRL, I couldn't help but think, "Her earlier characters had a bit more pizazz than this." Which is probably the last thing any writer wants to hear--that their earlier work was so much better--but DARK PLACES and SHARP OBJECTS kept me up all night, whereas GONE GIRL was only mildly entertaining. "What's with all the hype?" I wondered, as I turned past page 150. "I don't get it--a movie? What?"
And then page 200 came along, and I was blasted with mindfuck #1. Several mindfucks immediately followed suit, culminating with the very last mindfuck on the last page of the book. And then I set GONE GIRL down, feeling a bit as though I'd been sucker-punched.
I liked GONE GIRL. I can see why a lot of people wouldn't, since it is different from her earlier books, and it was not without flaw (the pacing was a little uneven, and the second portion of the book was a lot better than the first--although the first does contain some very necessary set-up). Like I said, I can see both sides, and while this book didn't change my world view or keep me up until 4 A.M. turning pages, I really enjoyed it, and I am actually excited to see the movie.
There isn't much more I can say without spoiling anything. I actually avoided reviews for this book, because with books like GONE GIRL, people can't help themselves, they have to post spoilers so they can be all, "Oh my god, you guys! I get it! I'm so smart!" And then you have to wonder why there isn't a "murder" key on your computer keyboard because, for fuck's sake, who does that?
There is a special circle in book hell reserved for people who spoil endings. You have to spend all eternity translating Fifty Shades of Grey to pig Latin and back again. Aters-lay, aby-bay!
Edit//04/06/14: Okay, so I asked one of my friends who used to practice law and here is what she says.
Regarding the sleeping-with-the-clients: "If you were already in a relationship with someone and then they asked you to represent them, that's okay. But you can't just begin having sex with a client who came to you." (Paraphrasing American Bar Association Rule 1.8 Conflict of Interest (J))
This is the worst book I have read this year.
BLINDFOLDED INNOCENCE has it all. Slut-shaming, racism, male douchery, infidelity, sexism, misogyny, purity myth, bad writing, pure stupidity, and so much more. It's basically another case of Fifty Shades of Copyright Infringement, and to be honest, I wouldn't be surprised if this originally started out as TWILIGHT fanfiction that was P2P as well, because...yeah. It's as insipid as it is unoriginal, and I've got a tic over my eye from all the RAGE that reading this inspired in me. Because oh man, is it offensive.
Let's start with the main character, Julia.
I am a twenty-one-year-old college student who has had a total of two partners. In college terms, I'm practically a saint! (29)
She's had sex, but the author does everything she can to distance Julia from them. Them being other women. Slutty women. Women who (gasp!) enjoy sex without the help and guidance of a man to teach them.
"If I slept with every guy I made out with, can you imagine my reputation? Not to mention I'd be pregnant with six kids!" (33)
Only if you're too stupid to use a condom (which she is--more on that later).
Also, pregnant with six kids? What kinds of hormonal supplements are you taking, Julia?
But the single-mother-shaming doesn't stop there! No.
I could see why divorcing wives would throw apart their legs and beg him for more than lawyerly duties (56).
Julia is a piece of work. Why? Because she is the embodiment of everything that she claims to hate. She dresses like a stripper, wearing flashy stiletto heels and short skirts to a law firm. She wears leopard print and cork heels. She sunbathes topless in public pools at hotels. At one point, she gets drunk and starts doing body shots off a stripper (i.e. licking off salt and lime and liquor from another woman's tits) while a bunch of horny men watch. Because lesbians only do it for the men obviously.
You would think that this would make Julia a little more sympathetic to other women. Nope!
"I am not one of your strippers you can order around!" (60)
"Don't you think that you risk too much for something you can get from all of the sluts lying around waiting for you to fuck them?" (134)
"Beautiful women fill the casinos."
"You mean prostitutes?" (143)
"Welcome to my world of slutdom" (217)
"Then obviously YOU are the type of woman he's been dating--women who are okay with him sticking his dick everywhere he wants to" (225).
^Julia says this to her so-called best friend Olivia. Charming, right?
You know how Julia manages to stay so chaste? She leads men on, makes them believe that they're about to have sex, and then walks away before anything can happen. Then she doesn't take their calls. She does this because she likes the thrill of seeing them squirm and suffer from unfulfilled arousal.
When she's butthurt about something Brad does, she seduces one of her fellow interns and does the same thing to him. She's a bitch on wheels. If that's purity, fuck it. I'd rather be a slut than a bitch.
Brad is even worse, if that's possible. He sleeps around with everything that has a vagina. He cheats on girlfriends. He sleeps with interns, clients, and even slept with one of his colleagues' wives--while he was still married! And you know what the biggest irony is? He's a fucking divorce lawyer.
He's also a total womanizing asshole who has slept with almost 200 women.
I'm not exaggerating. Julia asks him how many women he's slept with and he says,
"If I had to guess, probably in the hundred-fifty-to-hundred-eighty range" (139).
He's also a wannabe rapist.
"That girl rode up that elevator to my room not knowing anything about me and was ready to have sex with whoever opened the door. There's no worse turnoff than that. Now, you, who are fighting me supposedly tooth and nail, that is a big turn-on for me" (145).
"Has anyone ever sued you for sexual harassment?"
"That would assume that harassment had occurred. I assure you, I don't make advances unless the women are clearly receptive."
"Do I seem clearly receptive?"
"I figure you're a work in progress" (85).
Right. No doesn't mean "no." It just means you're "a work in progress."
Excuse me while I grab some mace.
Julia is told that she should stay away from him by several people but that never works.
As a rumored horndog, he should have smiled, flirted or asked me out--even if I had planned on saying no (52).
I could just as easily imagine him ripping someone's head off as dipping me backwards into a kiss (56).
He has absolutely zero respect for women, and one hell of a Madonna/whore complex.
"I date bad girls--you are wholesome and innocent. You will make a great wife for a tax accountant one day" (155).
We find out later that Brad is interested in orgies, menages, threesomes, etc. Basically, his ultimate fetish is having multiple partners. But only on his own terms. For example, when he takes Julia to a strip club, he ditches her to go have sex with one of the strippers, while having another one distract her so she won't notice. But when men are interested in Julia, he threatens them/chases them off, even though he's made it explicitly clear he isn't interested in monogamy. Double-standards much?
"I also don't think humans are engineered to be monogamous. It's against our basic instinct to be tied to one person for the rest of our lives" (266)
"I believe, for a couple to value their partner and learn their sexual needs, they need to occasionally sample sex with other people" (266)
I know a lot of the people on my friends list are drooling over this guy. Why?
He's such an asshole.
Julia doesn't want to have any part of this. She makes this explicitly clear, but Brad forces her into it through emotional blackmail. He says menages are for the benefit of women, but honestly, how many women do you see clamoring for threesomes? It's usually the men. And sure enough, Brad says,
"I can't wait to see someone else inside you, how you react when they fuck you" (276).
Just for women's pleasure. Riiiiiight.
One thing that really pissed me off about this book (well, okay, there were a lot of things, but this was one of the biggies) that I alluded to earlier was the fact that despite knowing that he's slept with almost 200 women, Julia allows him to fuck her without a condom. There is no concern about STDs or pregnancy and at no point afterwards does Julia get tested. She does at one point say, "I can't believe I had sex with you without a condom!" or something like that, but it's less like, "OH MY GOD I MIGHT HAVE AIDS/HERPES/CHLAMYDIA/GONORRHEA/SYPHILIS/A BABY" and more like, "I TRUSTED YOU AND YOU BETRAYED ME! I HAS A SAD!"
What. The. Fuck.
Of course, the book ends with Julia giving in to Brad and having a threesome. Because what you want in a relationship doesn't matter. It's all about giving into the hot, sexy man. Because the only thing that matters is what he wants.
This was an awful book. I hated Julia's character. I hated Brad's character. I hated how all the minorities in this book--whether gay or Asian--were walking stereotypes. I hated that cheating is fetishized in this book. I hated how the law firm IS NOTHING LIKE AN ACTUAL LAW FIRM (they have fucking house parties in the building. With dance music. And alcohol). I hated how lesbianism is trivialized and turned into something that women do for the benefit of men. I hated that Brad slept with almost 200 women and we're supposed to find this sexy. I hated the born-again purity myth, and the implication that if you aren't a virgin you're supposed to slut-shame and debase other women to make yourself seem more virginal by comparison. I hated how they didn't use a condom, and how STDs and pregnancies weren't even mentioned in a book that's all about cheating. I hated how women were portrayed in this book. I hated how men were portrayed in this book. I hated how Brad's behavior is depicted as some sort of paragon of manliness. I hated how preachy this book was. I hated the slimy feeling reading it gave me. I hated knowing that some women out there are reading this and thinking this is sexy, because this is the standard of sexiness that has been set by society.
But most of all: I hate being a woman in a culture that hates women, and devalues confidence, fidelity, intelligence, sexual knowledge, and female friendship in women.
This is the worst book I have read this year, and might just be the worst book ever.
P.S. I read every page, from cover to cover. It still sucked. ...more
***edit//01/09/14: TERRORSCAPE IS AVAILABLE FOR PURCHASE AGAIN!
You can now buy it on Smashwords HERE. And guess what? It's ten cents cheaper than it w***edit//01/09/14: TERRORSCAPE IS AVAILABLE FOR PURCHASE AGAIN!
You can now buy it on Smashwords HERE. And guess what? It's ten cents cheaper than it was on Amazon! YAY
***edit//10/20/13/: Hi guys! So as you may or may not know, Terrorscape was removed by Amazon for content violation. I guess because of the dark, disturbing content (i.e. rape, torture, dub/non-con, murder, serial killers, mindfuckery, etc. etc. etc.). Welllll, since I know some of you were very upset and messaged me about where you can read this, I'm posting to let you know that I'm hosting a giveaway on Booklikes!
You can enter to win 1 of 100 - yes, that's right - *100* - copies of Terrorscape. So far, only about 25 people are applying, so that just means that 75 sad little copies won't have homes to go to. APPLY NOW! Because I'm just giving these away!
Note that they will be ebooks. I am too poor to afford 100 hard copies of my book. One day, God willing....
Anyway, thanks so much for the support! I hope you win. Please spread the word and tell your friends. :)
So as you may or may not know, my book, Terrorscape, was banned by Amazon (during Banned Book Week, no less). I have a blog pEDIT: LOOK WHAT LOU MADE!
So as you may or may not know, my book, Terrorscape, was banned by Amazon (during Banned Book Week, no less). I have a blog post about it, which you can read HERE.
I was talking to my mom about this and she wanted to know why the book got banned.
"I don't think I should tell you, Mom."
"Oh, yes," she said. "I think you should."
So I told her, and she was like, "What, that's all?" (She actually said something else- but I decided to use what she said as the premise of this storyline, so I can't say anymore. It would be telling.)
This isn't going to be a full-length novel. It's going to be the epilogue you guys were asking for. And it's going to be the story my mom suggested.
The story of a girl pushed too far.
You wanted banned? Oh, man. You're gonna get all the banned you can handle.
Edit: I have been informed that there has been some odd subtweeting going on that may or may not be about me and this review.
All I have to say about that is this: this is a book. My review is about the book, and not the author. Any professional would understand that. I'm going to assume that the author is a professional.
So, before we get down to brass tacks, yes, I read book one, and no, I did not like it. Yes, I read book two anyway. It was on Netgalley and I was feeling bored and masochistic, which is never a good combination. Some people drink or have sex with their exes -- I read books I know I'm going to hate. Choose your poison.
Initially, I thought the writing in this book was a significant improvement over the first book, RUTHLESS PEOPLE. I thought, "Hmm, wow, this book may even get two or three stars out of me." But this improvement only lasted about fifty pages, and pretty soon the awkward sentence structure and typos and misused apostrophes from book one were back, which made me wonder if maybe the author only edited as far as the Kindle sample would reveal. (Unfortunately, some people do do this, and however sneaky they think they're being, it's pretty obvious...)
Melody and Liam are married and in addition to the normal married people problems (we're having too much sex, honey! *cough*), they're having mafia people problems as well. Patriarchs who think that the younger generation is too soft, traitor family members, bloodied carpets, etc.
I've decided that I'm not going to finish this book because frankly, I don't have the patience. It isn't an improvement over the first book -- all the old errors still stand -- and since this book is being released into the public, for money, my rating is a reflection of what I feel is an unpolished and unsatisfying work.
Because while in some ways, THE UNTOUCHABLES is a better book than RUTHLESS PEOPLE (slightly better writing, fewer pointlessly offensive descriptions, less slut-shaming), it is still not a good book.
There is a lot of telling and not showing. The Callahans are always going on about how much money they have, and how bad-ass they are, and how much they rule at sex. (Oh yes, they love to revel in the juices, these two.) I felt like I was being told these things without being shown them.
Every single character in this book has their own POV, regardless of whether it's necessary or not. POV swaps are always a tricky thing in fiction because, unless they are done very carefully and very well, they can come across as repetitive and annoying. In this case, it was the latter; every character sounded the same, and I was left with the impression that these endless POV swaps were less for narrative integrity and more for bulking up the page count of the novel.
Because, to be honest, not a lot happens. I checked out my friend Kat's review -- she actually liked the book -- and despite some twists that I will not be privy to, apparently, since I am not finishing the book, even she concedes that not much happens. Which is nice to know. Sometimes I wonder if my thoughts are biased (which they are, obviously), but nope, apparently it wasn't just me.
Having read book one and most of two, I think it's safe to say that I'm done with this series, and probably the author, as well. I really don't like her style, and she doesn't seem to be improving at all as a writer, which is sad, because the idea for this series had a lot of potential.
EDIT 04/21/2013: I have some new information about this book!
First: This book should really be classified as 'New-Adult' and not 'Young-Adult', since it does contain situations and themes not really appropriate for younger teens. So this is just something to keep in mind. (Plus, I like to think of myself as a genre-bender, giving all those other NA books the ol' one-two! :D)
Second: the SEQUEL, Armed and Dangerous, (which I know many of you are excited about) should be ready by early to mid-May. I am working SUPER HARD on it right now, and have already finished about 25% on the final draft.
As always, I thank you for your support and consideration.
I started this book about six or seven years ago. I still remember what the original draft was like, and to this day I cannot think of it without cringing. Oh, the things that come out of a sixteen-year-old's keyboard.
Cloak and Dagger is my first published book. I guess that makes it my baby. But not a coddled baby. More like the baby who is misbehaved and is always throwing temper tantrums, and needs to be set down in the corner while author-mommy cleans up the mess and heartbreak, and angsts about how this was never how she pictured motherhood authorhood.
I didn't know how much work it was going to be. Years of revisions, building onto the original work, and then cutting it back down to size. I cut about twenty THOUSAND words from the final draft before submitting it for publication, and found out in the process that I have a rather inordinate fondness for lovingly placing extraneous adverbs within the text. Who knew?
C&D is the product of too many James Bond films, an annoyance of Stockholm Syndromesque romances, and the niggling question that fills each of our minds when reading darker romantic suspense: Why doesn't that gosh-darn 'bad boy' ever stay bad? I'm not going to sell this book as THE BEST BOOK EVAR!!1! because it isn't (that distinction is reserved for the Brontes and Jane Austen, thank you very much), but it was fun to write, and I hope people have fun reading it.
I am in bed right now sobbing the way I did when I read The Fault in Our Stars, or when tYou can read more reviews at my blog, The Armchair Librarian!
I am in bed right now sobbing the way I did when I read The Fault in Our Stars, or when the wife in Up died, or when my sweet little kitty had to be put down, and I'm not even ashamed.
Before I Fall is one of the most beautiful stories I've read in a while. Everything about it, from concept to characterization, is perfect. It's hard to write a flawed protagonist and still make her likable, but Oliver does, and I found myself wanting to like Sam in spite of knowing I really shouldn't. It's got a great supporting cast, and she really captures how it feels to be a teenager.
Everyone and their mother seems to love this book. I know everyone says that, but in thisYou can read more reviews at my blog, The Armchair Librarian.
Everyone and their mother seems to love this book. I know everyone says that, but in this case it's true. Thousands of ratings, and only 12 of them gave Sea of Tranquility one star. I'll be honest: that's intimidating. But because I've always prided myself on honesty, I am giving this book one star. I'll also admit I couldn't finish this book. Gladly.
Nastya is . . . well, nasty. She's a total bitch, and one of the most repulsive protagonists I've read in a while. I get that she's depressed and has a traumatic past and all (even though I couldn't finish, I did read the spoilers just to get some perspective), but come on.
You can have a horrible character and still make them interesting. It's hard, but possible. I just read The S-Word and that MC was a total witch. But she was interesting, and the plot was engaging, and I wanted to know what she was going to do next, how she'd change.
I had no such investment in Nastya. For starters, she's incredibly self-destructive and she brags about it. It's hard to feel sympathy for someone who is so quick to debase themselves. Gosh, I sure do love throwing up! Man, is it ever so cathartic.
Golly gee, dressing like a slut is a total hoot! I love pissing girls off by having their boyfriends ogle me, and LOL this way no decent guy is gonna approach me and I won't have to get hurt. Oh and bee-tee-dubs, I'm wearing cute undies, so oops! accidentally-on-purpose crotch-shot!
Look at those self-congratulatory sluts. Wearing pink like they think they're teen hooker Barbie. I'm not like that. I'm funeral parlor Barbie. That makes me so much better than them. Because pink is for skanks.
Apparently this started out as independently published, and was duly purchased by Atria once they got wind of its success. I could kind of tell, and kind of not. It's good for indie, but goes on and on about nothing. It reads, in other words, like the Myspace journal of a particularly embittered teen desperate for attention.
Plus, the execution begs many questions such as:
WHY are they letting this girl into a shop class with high heels?
WHY does her aunt give her free rein despite the fact that she desperately needs help?
WHY has she not had any therapy?
WHERE are this girl's parents? And WHAT the hell are they doing that's so much more important than taking care of their mentally ill daughter?
WHAT is the point of the male- and female-hating? Making all girls out to be sluts and all boys out to be pimps/johns is just disgusting to everyone.
WHY do all the POV switches sound exactly like the same person?
And so on.
I honestly don't see why this book is so popular. She's like a female Travis Maddox.
. . . Reading this book actually made me angry. I had to stop, because I found it so horrendous, so utterly offensive, that I was unable to continue
. . . Reading this book actually made me angry. I had to stop, because I found it so horrendous, so utterly offensive, that I was unable to continue. Not because of the subject matter, because sex is something that should be discussed with teenagers, but because of the execution. The women-hating, putting men on pedestals, rationalizing abuse, slut-shaming, biblical prizing of virginity, and the discrimination . . . all of this was nauseating. It was a pandora's box of anti-feminist sentiments -
AND I OPENED IT! OH GOD THE HORROR
I have a weakness for dystopian science-fiction novels. I always have, because they can provide wonderful social commentary by taking the reductio ad absurdum approach (i.e. taking a problem and then magnifying it to the point where even its proponents will have to admit it's ridiculous; e.g. "You want drug free? FINE. WE'LL BE A DRUG-FREE NATION. NO MORE COLD MEDICINE. NO MORE VIAGRA. NO MORE CHEMO. TO THE MEDIEVAL DARK AGES WE GO!"). The advent of The Hunger Games hype/movie is a double-edged blade because (1) the books are awesome, (2) it has inspired some similarly awesome authors to publish some similarly awesome books, BUT (3) it has also inspired some not-so-awesome writers to publish tepid romance and then market it under the guise of being dystopian YA.
Originally, I was super-exited for XIV to come out. The concept is good - I will admit that freely. XIV takes place in a hyper-sexed near future, where the legal age for "consensual" sex is sixteen. There's also a caste system (called "tiers") that isn't really explained very well, but has to do with socioeconomic status, the places you're allowed to shop, what your parents do for a living, etc. Women are pretty much objects for the sexual gratification of men. Upwards mobility can be attained by marriage, and that's pretty much the only option for these girls. Apart from working for the government. Or being homeless. Or sex slaves. Oh, the agony of choice. On the surface, it is reminiscent of The Handmaid's Tale, except Atwood handles the subject with a bit more grace, and with a more likable protagonist. Because Nina, unfortunately, is anything but likable.
"Maybe I was too sensitive to things. Most girls my age worried about unimportant stuff - what to wear, hanging out with the right tier, using the right slang, and guys. They didn't think turning sixteen was something to worry about - not the way I did" (96)
Such a visionary, right?
Nina, our main character, is a repulsive, judgmental, whiny, idiotic rhymes-with-witch. I spent most of the book hoping that somebody would slap her. Heck, I was ready to slap her. Nina is fifteen, almost sixteen, and is absolutely dreading coming of age. She agonizes about how she's the only one who doesn't want to be objectified by men, and is scared at the prospect of sex . . . at least, until her love interest, Sal, comes on the scene. Then she's like, "Oh, I only want to be objectified by one man, but oh, he would never have me because I AM NOT WORTHY. *my creys*"
"I wasn't going to have a boyfriend if I persisted in being anti-sex-teen...I spent the next period in the bathroom, breathing in the smell of disinfectant and urine and feeling like it was all that I deserved" (173)
She deserves to smell pee because she feels pressured to have sex with her crush.
"Are you her boyfriend?" Dee said.
"Maybe." Sal grinned at her. "Does she need one?"
"All girls do," Dee said. "Especially when they're practically sixteen" (136)
Naturally, Nina reacts to this with a sweet innocent blush INSTEAD OF RUNNING THE FUCK AWAY OMG IT'S A TRAP IT'S A TRAP.
Virginity plays a key role in this book as well. In this sense, Karr does a pretty good job capturing the dichotomy of society's mixed standards. Women are supposed to be innocent and chaste, but they're also supposed to be absolutely awesome at sex the first time they ever try it (*COUGH* 50 Shades of Grey *COUGH*) because God forbid you come across as a *cue that horror movie scream* . . . PRUDE. Girls are not allowed to have sex until they get their XIV tattoo on their wrists to show that they're ready to be ravished. And they are. Ravished, that is. Whether they want to be or not.
"We're all supposed to be so excited about sex and willing to do whatever with practically any guy who asks" (23).
. . . we are?
"Men were known to use their illegitimate daughters as Cinderella girls, servants - and other things - for their legit families" (67).
Nearly all the men in this book are sex fiends, rapists, perverts, pedophiles, abusers, testosterone-laden jocks/thugs (called 'letes), and just basically horrible monsters and you're lucky if they even bother to glance at your wrists before knocking you to the ground. The only men who aren't bad are (of course) Nina's real dad and her love interest. Everyone else? Antichrist.
"When [my mother] refused to answer [him], [my step-dad] made her get out his box of [porn] vids. "You need a refresher course, babe," he'd said. Then he ordered me to take Dee next door to Sandy's. He never wanted his daughter to see what a horrible person her father was. Me, on the other hand, he didn't care about at all.
There is also a lot of slut-shaming, as I pointed out before. Slut-shaming is basically saying that any sexual abuse or unequal treatment is a result of the woman "asking for it" in some way . . . usually by dressing provocatively, putting herself in dangerous situations, or giving mixed signals that so confuse the poor male's libido that he is turned into a raging sex monster left with no choice but to rape her.
"I was under the impression that the candidates had to be virgins."
"I'm a virgin." Sandy looked the teeniest bit hurt at the implication.
"I know you are, dear." Gran gave her a hug. "It's just that dressing like that gives boys the impression that you don't want to be" (15)
"Look at your friend Sandy - see what sixteen propaganda has done to her? Why, two years ago she was as sweet and innocent as they come. Now she's on the verge of becoming a wild sex-teen" (109)
In other words, if you have premarital sex you are still a tramp, even if society is saying it's OK. What is going on here? I'm confused, and I can't imagine how those poor girls feel. And you know what? The sheer stupid factor of this book's characters made me not really care. I mean, there's this one scene where her abusive step-dad is threatening to kidnap Nina's eleven-year-old sister and take her away to make her into a Cinderella girl/sex slave, and she's like, "I don't wanna tell my grandparents - they might worry." THEY SHOULD FUCKING WORRY. YOU SAID YOURSELF THAT HE'S A PERVERTED MAN AND YOU'RE SCARED TO DEATH OF HIM. CALL THE GODDAMN COPS YOU DUMB BITCH.
That was pretty much the last straw for me. I mean, it was that or chuck the book out the window, and since this happens to be a library book I'd rather not pay the damage fees. So I stopped reading. Literally all of her decisions are like that. Selfish, or stupidly, moronically selfless. She has no personality and beyond Sal and whining about how boys like her too much, and how all her female compadres are whores, she has zero interests. In fact, she's a lot like a more judgmental Bella Swan.
And I really shouldn't have looked at the author's profile before composing this review because her first blog post says something about volunteering at an animal shelter. Great, now I feel guilty. Well. Not as guilty as I'd feel if she were working at a battered women's shelter - but STILL. God, I really hate it when authors who write bad books have GoodReads accounts, because then I'm afraid they'll read my review and get hurt feelings. Well, Ms. Karr, if you're reading this, all I have to say to you is this, "I'm sorry I didn't like your book. It wasn't for me. All the best to you, and your future endeavors."
I can't say my feelings are the same for this POS, though. RRRRAAAAAAAAAGH. [image error]
BLACK BEAST is my venture into the world of urban fantasy. It is about a young shape-shifter who finds herself as the object of a sexually depraved wiBLACK BEAST is my venture into the world of urban fantasy. It is about a young shape-shifter who finds herself as the object of a sexually depraved witch's obsession. The two are forced together by circumstance--and the threat of an ancient prophesied evil.