I have a weird fascination with creature features, particularly movies. Whenever SyFy is coming with a weird new movie – Sharktopus, Sharknado, PiranhI have a weird fascination with creature features, particularly movies. Whenever SyFy is coming with a weird new movie – Sharktopus, Sharknado, Piranhaconda, etc. – I’m there to watch it, much to my family’s annoyance.
Once in a while I like to let my hair down with a creature feature book. Most of the ones I’ve read have been bad. Not to say I watch/read creature features for a good story, but at least I want to be entertained. They have to be a good bad movie or book. But most of them are just bad bad.
Dinosaur Lake, narrated by the Chief Park Ranger at Crater Lake National Park in Oregon, who discovers there just might be something prehistoric living in the lake, falls just on the edge of bad bad. It wasn’t as bad as some I’ve read but I guess that’s not saying too much. To illustrate, I’ll leave you with the few notes I took as I read this story:
* Let the typos and errors begin! * Weird stuff - who says "I’ll Federal Express some books" instead of just using “FedEx”?? * And the main character is supposed to be from NYC and he's been in Oregon less than 10 years and he sounds like he's from some small town?? [a little later] Oh wait, EVERYONE, no matter where they’re from, basically sounds like they’re from some small town if the narrator likes them. * "He knew she suspected he was up to something, but being the good wife that she was, she didn't question him further." Gross. * In one scene the narrator puts his hand on his gun as comfort. Then a couple pages later, he's apparently not been comfortable carrying a gun for the past 10 years. * The author learned a big word, anachronism, and decided to show everyone how much she knew this big word by using it a million times. * Oh great, now we have an X-files type agent who believes in "evil in nature." Can I roll my eyes any harder? * Within a few weeks, this guy is ready to propose to the ranger's daughter? The 33-year-old to the 20-year-old? Apparently he never believed in love at first sight till until he met the daughter. Why am I reading this? * (view spoiler)[Aaand the moment the old man says he's shutting down the paper, retiring, and possibly moving to LA to live with his son, you know he's getting chomped. [at of the book] Well, that’s a trope that didn’t come true! (hide spoiler)] * SERIOUSLY?!? (view spoiler)[The wife decides to sneak into the park after all she's heard from her husband?? All the death and gore? This is such a Syfy-esque creature feature book with dumb decisions and all. (hide spoiler)] * Now all of a sudden it becomes a nautical tale, with the author throwing in words like astern and aft. Jesus Christ. * "Don't worry so." Who the hell talks like that?? No one except in this book. * "The young always had to have their music." I don't even know what this is anymore. * "The four men talked among themselves, of things only men liked to talk about." Not enough eye-rolling emojis for this and I won't even bother with the grammar.
There you have it. Final rating: 2.5 stars (mostly because I’ve ready some doozies to which I gave 2 stars, so I had to rate this slightly higher).["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>["br"]>...more