How does one summarize an entire life of more than 60 years? When faced with this ominous task, too many self-published writers produce rambling, epis...moreHow does one summarize an entire life of more than 60 years? When faced with this ominous task, too many self-published writers produce rambling, episodic narratives that fail to capture the true drama and beauty of their lives. Fortunately for author Mathias B. Freese, he is a gifted essayist who has been writing essays for decades. By collecting his favorite pieces, he gives readers insights into both his personal life (which is, sadly, full of tragedy) and his views on such topics as education, psychotherapy, blogging, and, of course, writing. The book, as a result, is one part personal memoir and one part intellectual analysis.
This combination elevates the book, but it also means it is a book best read slowly. Readers are likely to find themselves pausing to contemplate the message behind each essay. Freese is direct and opinionated, and he often takes an opinion counter to popular thinking. Take, for example, the essay "Teachers Have No Chance to Give Their Best," where he begins by railing against students for their "puerile minds" and "vacuity." But while these words are harsh, he lays the blame squarely on teachers. As a former teacher himself, he strongly suggests that schools need to do more to encourage creativity and self-reliance.
Just when it seems he has given up, labeling the educational system as "a great Arctic mammoth wandering aimlessly," he offers up a glimmer of hope: "Take any five decent, well-intended, creative and committed teachers and administrators, people who care, people in passion, free men and women, and one could wreak a reformation in weeks."
Such is the power of these essays: he sets up problems in stark language, but he also points to the possible positives that we, as a society, could reach for. Whether writing about the challenges of the current publishing scene or the historical record of the Holocaust, he shows readers both the ugliness and the beauty of each topic. He shares valuable insights from his time as a psychotherapist, and he waxes eloquent on some of his favorite movies and classic film actors.
The personal essays in the back of the book provide a look at his family's trials and grief. From the tragic loss of both his first wife and his daughter, to coping with memories of a neglected childhood, he writes powerfully when he is at his most personal. In many ways, these essays might have been a better way to begin this collection, since it would have helped to provide a real sense of the writer, in a personal way, before the denser, academic pieces.
This is a book that will stay with the reader, that will occasionally pop up as an undercurrent to conversations. While it doesn't quite reach the heights of his fiction masterpiece, The i Tetralogy, it is a thoughtful, compelling read.(less)
I received the 1994 edition of this book second-hand, and I'm happy I didn't pay for it. While "What to Expect While You're Expecting" is recognized a...moreI received the 1994 edition of this book second-hand, and I'm happy I didn't pay for it. While "What to Expect While You're Expecting" is recognized as a valuable book for expectant mothers, I find this sequel to be more alarmist than helpful for parents of toddlers.
While I expect to both agree and disagree with any parenting book, when I'm reading this one, I more often disagree. It's possible that newer editions have changed the advice given, but in this edition, the authors recommend the Ferber method of teaching children to sleep by themselves. That method has also been called the "cry it out" method, because it depends on allowing the child to cry for longer and longer periods each night in order to teach them to go to sleep. For many reasons, this method has been highly criticized, and without getting into a lengthy discussion, it just feels wrong to me.
In the same way, the book makes assumptions about weaning babies at a year (which is fine when the baby is ready for it but unfair to babies who are slower adapting to solid food). Those who believe in baby-led weaning will find themselves feeling like outsiders while reading this book.
The book is divided by month (12th month, 13th month, et cetera), and each chapter includes FAQs related to concerns from that month. This ends up giving the book an advice column feel and tends to emphasize the negatives. Rather than including a couple paragraphs on "diapering difficulties," for example, why not call the section "diapering" and deal with both issues related to diapering as well as positive advice for choices that parents might consider (such as cloth diapers versus disposables, for example)?
The result of this endless string of answers for "problems" not only feels haphazard but also conveys the opinion that parenting is troublesome and that this book is a first-aid kit or life raft. Rather than seeing this book as a lifesaver, I found myself frequently frustrated by the advice given, as if I'd been handed a child's water-wing instead.(less)
I'm finding that my favorite baby books were ones recommended to me by family and friends, and "The Baby Book" by William Sears, M.D. and Martha Sears...moreI'm finding that my favorite baby books were ones recommended to me by family and friends, and "The Baby Book" by William Sears, M.D. and Martha Sears, R.N., was recommended to me by one of my oldest friends. As with any parenting book, I would recommend taking from it the parts that you find most useful, acknowledging that there might be sections where you disagree.
Dr. Sears and his wife, Martha, are proponents of attachment parenting, a term which is often misunderstood. But even if you're not the sort of person who walks around 24/7 with a baby carrier strapped to you, there is plenty of good, practical advice within these pages.
What I liked most about this book is the relaxed tone. As both a parent of multiple children and a practicing pediatrician, Dr. Sears knows that it's easy to get worked up about possible problems or issues. The book's reassuring tone presents the latest medical information, combined with practical advice, and I can't count the number of times we raced to this book during a perceived emergency and received comfort from the information we learned.
Above all, the book is valuable because of its multiple charts and tables about such topics as sicknesses, immunizations, feeding solid foods, development, and more. The book is packed with useful information, as well as playful activities to encourage development and other useful tips.
I would highly recommend it to any first-time parent or guardian of a baby from birth to age 2.(less)
A friend gave me the 1974 edition of "Living with Children: New Methods of Parents and Teachers" by Gerald R. Patterson and M. Elizabeth Gullion. She...moreA friend gave me the 1974 edition of "Living with Children: New Methods of Parents and Teachers" by Gerald R. Patterson and M. Elizabeth Gullion. She told me that she found it useful while raising her own daughter.
The simple concept behind this book is to use operant conditioning to change troublesome behaviors. The book offers multiple examples of types of behaviors that can, the authors say, be altered by using rewards and punishments.
Some of the advice in this book is clearly outdated, but the basic tenets behind the book are sound. The book recommends finding a way to count or quantify the troublesome behavior and to use a systematic reward system to develop positive behaviors, instead. I've seen similar techniques used on the ever-popular "Super Nanny" shows, where parents are instructed to put up star charts and to give children stickers for positive behaviors such as putting toys away.
It's certainly a technique that is worth considering, although operant conditioning may not always be the perfect solution for every problem.(less)
My sister gave me "Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood," and I found the book had a lot of positive concrete suggestions for parenting young chil...moreMy sister gave me "Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood," and I found the book had a lot of positive concrete suggestions for parenting young children. While I never agree 100 percent with any parenting book, I found myself agreeing with the basic concepts: effective parenting comes from empowering children to make positive choices, underscored by a relationship of trust and loving reinforcement.
While the tone of the authors is sometimes condescending, I appreciated the many examples. Not every example is something I would emulate: I don't feel comfortable walking away from a child having a tantrum in a grocery store, even if they do emphasize that you should still watch them from "around the corner." It takes only a moment for a predator to snatch a child!
However, I have put some of the techniques into practice and found them useful. For example, my husband and I give our son choices of what shirts to wear, what snacks to eat, et cetera. This helps him to feel like he has some control in his life. Surprisingly, I've also discovered that if he's having a tantrum, it is far more effective to just calmly tell him, "Get it out of your system. Make it good" and stand quietly watching. Since he's not getting the reaction that he's seeking, he comes around much more quickly than when I used to raise my voice at him in response.
More importantly, the book has encouraged me to see every misbehavior as a learning opportunity. My husband and I have both sought to understand what underlies his behavior and to build a relationship of love and trust.
For giving us a way to deal with the frustrations of the "terrible twos," I am extremely grateful for this book. (less)
I had wanted to read Arthur Golden's "Memoirs of a Geisha" ever since seeing the movie several years ago. When I finally did, I discovered that the bo...moreI had wanted to read Arthur Golden's "Memoirs of a Geisha" ever since seeing the movie several years ago. When I finally did, I discovered that the book is filled with just as many lush visual details but that the story is a little less romanticized than in the film. This shouldn't be a surprise, since Hollywood movies tend to heighten drama, but the most striking part of this book is how much of a geisha's life is mundane.
Far from being a glamorous existence, Golden's novel exposes this bygone profession as both painstaking and heartbreaking. The rewards were few for most of the women who spent their entire lives training to entertain; spending hours perfecting their appearances; and maintaining strict codes of behavior. For those who managed to make the right connections and climb the social ladder, they could hope to secure a wealthy benefactor. Others struggled, especially as they aged.
This book has been the subject of some controversy, since Golden based it on interviews with geishas, one of whom objected to the way he portrayed events in the book. Yet, fictionalizing the book allowed Golden to pick and choose details and to focus the story in a way that lent the most drama. These were wise choices, and the book, while it may not tell any one geisha's story, nevertheless tells the story of many woman whose profession, like their stories, has slipped into the past.(less)
After receiving "Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close" as a Christmas present, I let it sit on a shelf for a year before reading it. I must admit: the...moreAfter receiving "Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close" as a Christmas present, I let it sit on a shelf for a year before reading it. I must admit: the prospect of reading about a child who lost his father on 9/11 did not excite me. Perhaps it was best that I waited, because this lyrical, fearless book has inspired me at a time when I, a stay-at-home mom of a toddler, am feeling overworked and under-inspired.
I have not gotten so excited about an author's creative use of voice since I read William Faulkner's "The Sound and the Fury" in high school. Rather than concentrating on 9/11, author Jonathan Safran Foer tells a multitude of tales from a family, all dealing with separation, guilt, grief, and an inability to communicate with loved ones. These are, of course, universal concerns, and they elevate the book above the simplistic ways we often talk about tragedy.
The characters include a young boy mourning his father's death on 9/11, as well as his grandmother and his estranged grandfather. Each tell their tales in distinct ways. The boy keeps a scrapbook of pictures that speak to him and seeks meaning by engaging in a city-wide scavenger hunt for the lock opened by a key his father left behind. The grandfather, who left while the boy's father was young, has not spoken aloud since the Dresden bombing in World War II, where he saw unfathomable tragedy. He "speaks" through writing short sentences to people in blank books. The grandmother shares her deepest thoughts through letters which, apparently, she leaves unsent. At times, the different voices descend into nonsense or take an unusual approach to describing experience. This constant discovery and renewal is exhilarating and thought-provoking.
I highly recommend this book to any reader, but especially to writers seeking inspiration. Reading this book will make writers think about narrative and how to construct it differently, as well as how to use voice and character to tell a story and build dramatic tension. This poetic, insightful book speaks volumes about the human experience. (less)
Where Dan Brown's "The Da Vinci Code" feels revolutionary, in terms of its incorporation of real-life settings and historical documents into a thrille...moreWhere Dan Brown's "The Da Vinci Code" feels revolutionary, in terms of its incorporation of real-life settings and historical documents into a thriller, "Angels & Demons" treads the same territory with less impressive results.
I read this book primarily because I'd seen the movie, and it was interesting to compare the differences between the book and the movie. There were a number of key changes to the way the action played out, and the book frequently made more sense (even if it was less dramatic and visual). But those changes aside, the book was a fairly traditional thriller. Yes, there is a religious conspiracy unveiled, but the "evidence" is less convincing and the end result far less plausible.(less)
Picking up where the previous volume left off, author Masami Tsuda's manga romance/comedy continues to follow the stories of a number of high-school s...morePicking up where the previous volume left off, author Masami Tsuda's manga romance/comedy continues to follow the stories of a number of high-school students. The artwork in this installment is so strong that it actually changed my mind about the story involving Tonami, the transfer student introduced in the previous volume. I'm particularly fond of the flashback sections featuring Tonami as a chubby boy; they help to explain his low self-esteem. In this volume, Soichiro and Yukino, the main characters, come to the foreground again, with Soichiro trying to reconcile two different aspects of his personality: kind and giving, and angry and possessive.(less)
My love for the anime series "Kare Kano" brought me to the books, and the first several volumes offered the same mix of humor and poetic introspection...moreMy love for the anime series "Kare Kano" brought me to the books, and the first several volumes offered the same mix of humor and poetic introspection that made me love the anime. In Volume 7, however, author Masami Tsuda seems to be running out of steam. She spends more of the book dealing with the side story of a transfer student and his love-hate relationship with secondary character Sakura (a girl who happens to look a lot like the male protagonist Soichiro). I realize I'm not the target audience for these manga (that would be preteen girls, most likely), but if this volume had been the first one I'd read, I never would have read more.(less)
As someone who enjoys meandering through old cemeteries, gazing at tombstones and wondering about the people who lie below, I was excited at the prosp...moreAs someone who enjoys meandering through old cemeteries, gazing at tombstones and wondering about the people who lie below, I was excited at the prospect of an entire book about obituaries. Author Marilyn Johnson focuses not so much on interesting obituaries themselves but on the craft of the creative obituary writer. A self-proclaimed obituary fan, Johnson shares fascinating insights into the writing process: from research to publication.
When I worked for a local newspaper, about a decade ago, we followed a very different process. Except for a few high-profile local celebrities, which entailed front-page feature stories, most obituaries were dictated to us by the local funeral home directors. But as Johnson relates, the art of creative obituaries has become more prominent in recent years.
Johnson interviewed a host of talented obituary writers, and when she relates their stories, the book is engaging. Too much of the book, however, concentrates on Johnson's own stories about seeking out other obituary fans. The end result is an information-packed book that lacks focus. She should have emulated her favorite obit writers, who distill an entire lifetime into 1,000 words. (less)
One of my favorite humorists of all time, Erma Bombeck ruled the newspaper pages, inspiring and amusing readers with her entertaining observations abo...moreOne of my favorite humorists of all time, Erma Bombeck ruled the newspaper pages, inspiring and amusing readers with her entertaining observations about the nature of motherhood. "Forever, Erma" was a labor of love: a posthumous collection featuring the most loved Bombeck columns, as well as a smattering of lesser known pieces and a chapter of tributes from colleagues, friends and family. For those unfamiliar with Bombeck's work, it's a good introduction. For those, like myself, who have loved her work for years, the book is both a delight and a revelation.
Bombeck's columns elevate the trivial moments of motherhood: mining them for both humor and for meaning. While, on the surface, she may simply be sharing a story about a difficult child, she is also making a then-revolutionary statement: "I'm not a perfect mother or wife, and that's OK." She wrote such columns years before comedian Roseanne Barr introduced the idea of a sublimely flawed family; and her columns predated by decades the first by humorist Dave Barry, who explores similar territory from a father's point of view. Indeed, Bombeck was one of the first to discount such unrealistic role models as TV's Donna Reed and to air her dirty laundry (both figurative and literal) in print.
Such insights won her legions of fans -- mothers and children, wives and husbands -- and this book does a good job of illustrating why.(less)
Erma Bombeck, the beloved newspaper columnist who wrote about the foibles of motherhood, expanded upon her familiar territory in "Motherhood: The Seco...moreErma Bombeck, the beloved newspaper columnist who wrote about the foibles of motherhood, expanded upon her familiar territory in "Motherhood: The Second Oldest Profession." The result is a work that, though familiar-sounding, delves deeper and sometimes darker than her newspaper columns did.
For example, Bombeck reruns one of her most popular columns, a paean to the mothers of disabled children, answering it with a new companion piece where the mother of a disabled child criticizes the original column, calling it naive and speaking about the realities of her life. In another piece, Bombeck expands upon a newspaper column where she had joked about leaving behind letters for each of her children to tell them she'd loved them best. In "Motherhood," the expanded piece takes place at the mother's funeral, as each of the children reads his or her letter privately. The resulting work takes on a more serious, almost ponderous import.
In the pages of "Motherhood," Bombeck shows that she is capable of contemplating more than just the whereabouts of wayward socks disappeared from the dryer. While these pieces still evince her trademark wit, they go beyond classic Bombeck, exploring the deeper side of motherhood.(less)
In this fanciful children's book, the protagonist explores a variety of options for adult occupations, ranging from outre chef to gorilla masseuse. Th...moreIn this fanciful children's book, the protagonist explores a variety of options for adult occupations, ranging from outre chef to gorilla masseuse. The playful verse by Al Yankovic (better known as music parody king Weird Al) is accompanied by colorful pen and watercolor illustrations by Wes Hargis.
Wisely, this young hero realizes that the answer to "what will you be when you grow up?" may not be simple. Learning from his grandfather, who held many jobs throughout his life, the boy suggests one outlandish occupation after another, not ruling out the possibility of trying each in turn.
My eight-month-old boy was captivated by the drawings and engaged by the rhyming. He enjoyed it just as much when my husband read it to him a few days later. I predict that, unlike many of the board books he currently shoves in his mouth, this traditional hardback will remain a favorite as he grows and gains vocabulary and comprehension. While some of the vocabulary could make it difficult for beginning readers, it's a terrific book to read to children of any age.
Disclosure: The author received a complimentary copy of the book from the publisher through the Goodreads giveaway program.(less)
In these days of the Great Repression, readers seek escapism: fantasy, romance and sparkling vampires. Jess Walter's book, by contrast, is an unblinki...moreIn these days of the Great Repression, readers seek escapism: fantasy, romance and sparkling vampires. Jess Walter's book, by contrast, is an unblinking look at the reality of many Americans. The protagonist, Matt Prior, is about to lose his house and possibly his emotionally estranged wife. Matt is a poor communicator when it comes to his family, so he bears these burdens alone. Obsessed with such thoughts, he goes to the convenience store to buy milk and walks right into a youth-filled world of drugs and bad decisions.
While the initial pages of the book are often entertaining, like a well-written blogger grousing about his day, as the book slogs on, the fun dissipates, as Matt struggles with the weight of his poor decisions. At this point, I found myself saying, "Why am I reading this?" If I had been less of a completist, I would have certainly put it down. In fact, I almost wish I had, given the way the resolution peters out, with an ending as dissatisfying as the so-called economic recovery has been for many families. (less)
These poems were primarily written in my grad school days and in the five years following. These poems are more languid and lyrical than my recent poe...moreThese poems were primarily written in my grad school days and in the five years following. These poems are more languid and lyrical than my recent poetry, which tends to be more tightly-packed, but some of these poems remain my favorites for the way they addressed issues in my personal life and broadened them to incorporate universal concerns. This book really was a literary catharsis for me to write, and I imagine it would be for a reader, as well.(less)
This book was 13 years in the making, as it incorporates columns from my newspaper days as well as some Internet columns and personal essays. Rather t...moreThis book was 13 years in the making, as it incorporates columns from my newspaper days as well as some Internet columns and personal essays. Rather than organize them chronologically, I treated this like a volume of poetry: arranging the pieces so that they flowed naturally into each other in terms of theme, mood, imagery, etc. The result is a multifaceted exploration of love, friendship, pet care, pop culture, and even, at times, philosophy and religion. (less)
First, a shout-out to Greg, the owner of Between Books in Claymont, Delaware, who recommended this book. James VanderMeer takes a detailed, informativ...moreFirst, a shout-out to Greg, the owner of Between Books in Claymont, Delaware, who recommended this book. James VanderMeer takes a detailed, informative look at the practical realities of the modern writer. Many books have been written about the writing process, but VanderMeer writes from a business and marketing perspective, with hints on how to go from being someone who loves to write to someone whose works are published and read.
His instructions are inspirational and helpful, not just because of specific tips. He also provides a framework for how to think about what sort of writer you want to be, what kind of career you want, and how to achieve those goals.
In addition to the main book, there are a wealth of appendices picking up side topics. One of those chapters I found especially interesting dealt with the despair of not living up to expectations. Not only are many writers solitary folks, but many of us are also perfectionists who place our expectations too high. This often leads to disappointment and disillusionment. A friend recently told me how proud I should be to have my work in books I can actually hold and show to people. Yet, I am not the success I feel I should be: I feel like I should be supporting myself with my writing, not through other work. Apparently, I am not alone in feeling frustrated, and VanderMeer's book provides some good ideas about how to transition to the sort of career I want.
This book gets at the core of essential questions and concerns of the modern writer. It is not only a good resource now but will likely continue to prove useful.(less)
James R. Whitley combines richly-textured language with thoughtful introspection for a lyrical journey through heartbreak and loss into acceptance and...moreJames R. Whitley combines richly-textured language with thoughtful introspection for a lyrical journey through heartbreak and loss into acceptance and healing. His poem "Chai Tea, Raw Sugar" once appeared in my magazine, WildViolet.net, and it embodies the center section, about a troubled relationship. Ultimately, the poems progress into hymns of hope, as in these lines from the last stanza of "Cantata No. 21": "And I'm thinking about the coming dawn and how, / despite the nagging hangover I'm sure to have, / that brilliance will flood every dim corner of / my room with its sweetness, like an auspicious / heralding, like a merciful golden revision." (less)
When it comes to wordsmithing, Eric Greinke is adventurous. He tries on forms and subjects as joyfully as an outdoorsman discovering new territory. Th...moreWhen it comes to wordsmithing, Eric Greinke is adventurous. He tries on forms and subjects as joyfully as an outdoorsman discovering new territory. These poems range from imagistic free verse to langorous prose poems to surreal landscapes. Greinke is always looking for new inspiration, new ways to express what he sees.(less)
Carol Frith's poems are alive with rich detail: sycamores and verbena, sugar cookies and moths with "wings yellow / with half-life." She shares storie...moreCarol Frith's poems are alive with rich detail: sycamores and verbena, sugar cookies and moths with "wings yellow / with half-life." She shares stories about her family, especially the women: how they explore and cook and garden and sometimes grieve. She also writes movingly about a cousin with mental illness. Textured and evocative.(less)
Poet John Lee Clark is deafblind and writes about his experiences. His poetry is simple and direct. At times there is a playfulness, as he muses on la...morePoet John Lee Clark is deafblind and writes about his experiences. His poetry is simple and direct. At times there is a playfulness, as he muses on language and on his tactile way of viewing the world. These lines from "I Do Not Stop Because the Sign is Red" illustrate: "Some reach their self-portraits / by eyelashing at mirrors, // but, sightless, what I reflect / is at my fingertips." He makes his world come alive for the reader.(less)
I saw Carlos Andres Gomez perform at an event at the University of Pennsylvania several years ago, where I bought this book. His work, though clearly...moreI saw Carlos Andres Gomez perform at an event at the University of Pennsylvania several years ago, where I bought this book. His work, though clearly playing off aural techniques, such as repetitions of sounds and parallelism, also reads well on the page. Writing a poem is like having sex, he explains in the poem "poetry like sex": "be mindful and patient of diction / stagger and alternate the rhythms / climax at the apex of emotion and sensation." Although, like his spiritual forebears in the Black Arts Movement, he sometimes veers too far into the polemical, he always brings it back to the visceral and the personal.(less)
Most poems involving children are hopelessly sentimental, but Brad Buchanan's poems depict the full range of parental experience: from hope and pride...moreMost poems involving children are hopelessly sentimental, but Brad Buchanan's poems depict the full range of parental experience: from hope and pride to fear and frustration. He does it all through vivid imagery, as in these lines from "The Feral Child": "The womb has produced these faint traces of wolf: / dark hair on the tailbone, and fuzz on her elfin, / elephant's ears." Through his words, he captures his daughter's first days with an intimacy not possible in photographs.(less)
In this memoir, William Styron shares a personal view of his experiences with depression and recovery. The book explodes popular notions about depress...moreIn this memoir, William Styron shares a personal view of his experiences with depression and recovery. The book explodes popular notions about depression and shows just how the disease affected him. A slim volume, at just 84 pages, it is nevertheless compelling and enlightening. (less)
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