I'm on page 25 (or so) of this book, and I've been on page 25 (or so) for quite a while.
Ok, for a moment there I got distracted by the pretty, shiny,I'm on page 25 (or so) of this book, and I've been on page 25 (or so) for quite a while.
Ok, for a moment there I got distracted by the pretty, shiny, BRILLIANT thing that is Doctor Who (AGAIN), so I had to read the Brillant Books first, but now it's back to page 25.
I sure hope this will move a bit faster soon...
(meanwhile, there is still that pretty, shiny, BRILLIANT thing that is Doctor Who, and why, oh WHY, didn't I leave this show when my wonderful, adored, fantastic, best-doctor-ever David Tennant left, because now I'm stuck with this complete and utter fascination with Matt Smith who is without doubt the brilliantest, most fantastic and bestest Doctor ever, EVER, in the existence of Doctor Who, and now he's leaving and I'm getting my heart broken AGAIN by this stupid TV show, and for the life of me I CANNOT STOP WATCHING IT.
Yes, I know this rant has nothing to do with the book. But if the book continues to be as exciting as it is so far, you'll be happy that I distracted you with some Matt Smith. So there.
Back to page 25.
ETA: Page 50 - I give up. This is really really boring. I'm sorry, but I'm just not interested.
I wasn't expecting Harry Potter, of course not. This is a completely different book, and that should be a good thing, because I don't usually read books about magicians or boarding schools or anything where the protagonists are teenage boys. But unlike Harry Potter, there is just nothing to make me want to read the story (that I assume this book contains, god knows I didn't get to the actual story part.)
By page 50, we still seem to be at the character-introduction stage, and Rowlings isn't doing a very good job of introducing characters. The only thing that really stuck with me was the inappropriate use of the word "penis" in the description of one fat guy (whose name or function I've conveniently forgotten, but I doubt they were very interesting.)
Rowling describes him as having a fat belly, so fat that one wonders how he can reach his penis for peeing or "doing whatever else one does with a penis" (I'm paraphrasing, since I don't have the book here, but it was something like that). I think she uses the word "penis" three or four times within a half page, and it is just screaming "I am finally able to write PENIS!!!! because I'm DONE with the children books-YAY!" at me.
I get it, JK, really, I do. I mean, there's certainly a reason why HP fans found many, many wonderful ways to introduce your characters into the magical (hehe) world of sex. If I were you, I'd be DESPERATE to release some of the UST that has been building up between Harry and Snape all those characters during the last years. And that's the problem - it IS a bit desperate, don't you think?
Because a) looking at fat old guys with overlapping bellies, the LAST thing I want to think about are their penises, or any use they might have for them, and b) that part about the "whatever else one uses a penis for"?
Well, let me tell you - you pretty much use it for peeing, wanking and sex.
And no, thanks very much, I really didn't want to think about fat guys with penis-overlapping bellies having sex either, but you brought it up, and now we are all thinking about it, but at least the adults among us are adult enough to say (and think) wanking and sex instead of the rather childish "whatever else one does with penises".
Unless there IS something else one would do with a penis. I just can't think of anything else. Hmm, it's probably something really obvious. *thinks really hard* Nope, can't think of any other uses. (I'd love to hear suggestions, though - I'm sure it would make this review infinitely more entertaining.)
Point is: we would all have been better off if you hadn't brought up the subject in the first place.
Conclusion: Rowling pretty much hits you over the head with her insistence that really, she IS writing an adult book, HP-loving kids PLEASE move on, but fails to do so in any way that would make me want to read this book.
Maybe I'll try again later. Like, when I run out of books to read.
Pretentious. As in "pretending to be good literature, but it is really really not."
I also don't think that a Golden Shower is what Mr. Willemsen thinkPretentious. As in "pretending to be good literature, but it is really really not."
I also don't think that a Golden Shower is what Mr. Willemsen thinks it is. The question is: what was it doing on page 22 at all?
[Please note that this was going to be the last sentence of my review. But then I thought, hey, lacking moving pictures (cause they still have not banned gif-files from the internets) and annoying sound effects, I need to find SOME method to get people to read my reviews. And nothing's better than references to kinky sex! Okay, now that you are actually reading this review, I have to disappoint you. This book is not about any kind of kinky sex. Unless you count literary masochism.)
I actually found myself saying "Oh my GOD but this is HORRIBLE!" out loud, to myself, when I tried reading this. And I don't usually talk to myself. (much)
I don't know who this Willemsen guy is (I think he is on TV, but I haven't owned a TV for more than 15 years now), but I can tell you who HE thinks he is. He is, and in this he is not alone in Germany, under the mistaken impression of being some kind of intellectual. Or wait, let me rephrase that: he is under the mistaken impression that in writing like a pompous first-grader who has been given his first Duden for christmas, he is behaving like the intellectual that he may or may not be (as I said, I don't know him.)
In other words (and I'm under the probably not-so-much-mistaken impression that Mr. Willemsen would need other words to grasp my meaning): his writing is pretentious bullshit.
I was ready to put the book down (both literally and figuratively, had the latter been possible) after the first page. Here they say that you shall not judge a book by its cover, and I heartily agree, but has anyone ever said that you shall not judge a book by its first page?
Because you so, so should. at least in this case.
I cannot even describe what made the first page so horrible: the deranged changes between past and present tense, the ostentatious language? The complete lack of SENSE in the strings of words he randomly puts together? It's hard to find the cause in the middle of a desaster area.
If his book had been translated into English (no surprise that it hasn't), I'd give you an example. As it is, I'm afraid that translating the first page to illustrate its complete lack of decent writing would break my brain.
Still, I managed to read through 50 more pages, cried out " but...but that's HORRIBLE!" a number of times, decided to at least skip to the chapter about Kamtschatka (since I'm going there next year) and then threw the book away.
Okay, I didn't. It's on the give-away pile, because no matter how bad, I can't ever throw a book away. Plus, this city is full of pretentious pseudo-intellectuals who can analyse Mr. Willemsen lack of writing skills in their literary circles and feel...intellectual...while they do it.
"Nothing to declare" is a book about a woman moving to MFair warning: I did not finish this book.
And yet, I'm giving it a one star rating.
"Nothing to declare" is a book about a woman moving to Mexico to write. Although I don't think it is explicitly mentioned, the subtitle "Memoirs of a woman traveling alone" as well as the first person narrator strongly imply that the woman Morris is writing about is Morris herself. At least I had no reason to assume otherwise.
Apart from the fact that moving to another country is not traveling (to me - and I've spent several years living abroad in different countries and I've traveled), there was nothing wrong with the book in the beginning. I was waiting for it to develop into something good or maybe not so good, but it was definitely ok at first.
Until I came across this little sentence, almost casually, but completely seriously thrown in little sentence on page 36:
"I was bored so I offered to read their palms, something I can do, though I don't like to waste or abuse my powers."
I immediately lost any resepct I may have had for Mary Morris and was completely, completel unable to take her or anything she wrote serious. Ever. Again.
Please, palmreaders of the world, come and stone me and try to convince me that you really can read palms. PLEASE feel free.
Freedom of opinion and everything, you have every right to believe in whatever you want and TELL me about it, since the internet, at least this review here, is kinda a public place. But PLEASE do not expect me not to lean back and die laughing.
This is really the BEST and most absurd thing I have ever across in a book - it took me completely by surprise. I still don't know if I should laugh or cry. It's memorable for sure.
But reading something by someone who is so obviously a lunatic and does not know it?
This is a great book for people who love epic family sagas. Trust me, you'll love this.
Personally, I couldn't care less about family sagas, epic or noThis is a great book for people who love epic family sagas. Trust me, you'll love this.
Personally, I couldn't care less about family sagas, epic or not. In fact, I really really don't like them. Which I should have remembered before I bought and tried to read this book, because then I wouldn't have to rate it so badly for a reasons that is really not the books fault. It said epic family saga, it delivered epic family saga.
Well, at least I think it did. I gave up after about 150 pages.
And yet another book that I didn't finish this year. *throws book into corner and sighs* ...more
I spend a summer in France once, taking private French lessons (and I only wish they had been as dirty as what you are thinking now), in a desperate (I spend a summer in France once, taking private French lessons (and I only wish they had been as dirty as what you are thinking now), in a desperate (though successful) attempt to save my French grades.
My teacher made me read this book.
My summer in France was wonderful, despite Madame Bovary, and I'm very grateful to my teacher for saving my French grades. However, I'm sorry to admit that I broke my promise and never finished reading Madame Bovary.
So sorry, but I just... couldn't. I mean, Flaubert was a genius, no doubt, and Madame Bovary certainly is his masterpiece, if critics are to be believed. But, you see, I was a teenager! What would I possibly do with Madame Bovary and her strange, 19th-century frenchness? In french, of all things!
(though I'm certain, well, no, but at least hopeful, that I would enjoy the book more today. Cause I'm old and wise today, as you all know. I also know for sure that I wouldn't attempt to read it in french again. Flaubert knows, and uses, more words than an occasional french reader like me can enjoy without getting a panic attack.)...more
I resent myself a little for not liking Annie Proulx more than I do. I WANT to like her. I read the descriptions of her books and I want to read them.I resent myself a little for not liking Annie Proulx more than I do. I WANT to like her. I read the descriptions of her books and I want to read them. I buy her books. I start reading.
And that's it.
I just can't get into them.
Her use of language is brilliant, her ideas interest me - and yet, I'm unable to relate emotionally to anything she writes. This is the third of her books that felt like that to me. I found myself enjoying her short stories quite a lot, but her novels just can't hold my interest.
But, as much as I'd like to like Annie Proulx, there's 100s of other others and books out there that are waiting to be read, so for now, I'm giving up on Proulx....more
Atlas der Liebe tells the story of four women, all in their late thirties/early fourties, connected by their jobs, all with their own story, childhood Atlas der Liebe tells the story of four women, all in their late thirties/early fourties, connected by their jobs, all with their own story, childhood, youth, life and love, gain and loss, happiness and sadness. Yep, it's as epic as it sounds, and Grandes certainly tries to tell us ALL about it. And the way she does it is really good, lovely metaphors, lovely insights into the human, especially the female mind. Some sentences were almost epiphanies, yes! I thought, that's EXACTLY what it is like, and I knew before, just on one has ever said it in quite these words. (I'd quote, but I read the book in German, and I don't have it here right now).
Now that i've told you how much I liked whait, it's probably time to tell you that I gave up on page 180something. Because as much I would like to read the stories of these women, I don't care enough to read through all these words. Because the book is long, like, really really long. With sentences that are long. Really really long. Think Proust, and then some.
And most of what's in these sentences, actually, most of what is told about these women, are things that I really don't need to know to know their story. And I really don't care. And i really don't have time for this.
I'm keeping the book, maybe I'll want to try again when I'm in my late thirties/early fourties, though I really doubt i'll have more patience then.
What's it they say? Sometimes, things are better left unsaid.
I read the first 100 or something pags of this yesterday and decided not to continue. *does not panic* *breathes*
Yes, IImportant Service Announcement:
I read the first 100 or something pags of this yesterday and decided not to continue. *does not panic* *breathes*
Yes, I can start a book and not finish it! It hasn't happened very often, in fact, I can't remember that it ever happened, but I'm convinced I can do it. It also helps that this is my mothers book, so I can give it back to her and not be tempted.
Why don't I finish it?
Well, it's a very very long book. And in the first 100 pages, the important ones where all the characters (as far as I know it's all of them, there are probably more later) are introduced, I didn't relate to anything. I didn't particularly like the family of Jonah and his brother, I wasn't at all interested in them or their life, and I really didn't care much what happened to them later. Or before, Or at all.
So, the decision was: should I continue to read 600 more pages about a family I'm not in the least bit interested in, or should I move on to one of the other 99,9 books that are lying here on my shelves, waiting to be read.
And then it came to me: no matter how much time I spent reading, I will never be able to read all the books that are and have and will be written. It's simply not possible. I will not even be able to read all the books I would LIKE to read.
I knew that, of course, somewhere in the back of my mind, but it's a painful admission and I rather not think about it.
Still, as painful as it is, it is true. So the wise decision is to spent my time reading the books I want to read, good or bad.
"Der Klang der Zeit" (The Time of Our Singing) is not one of them.
Instead, I have moved on to Nadine Gordimer.
//End of Important Service Announcement *still tries not to panic*
I read a good review of this book ages ago, then found it by chance in a used book shop. Bought it, tried to read it, gave up. Tried to read it again. GI read a good review of this book ages ago, then found it by chance in a used book shop. Bought it, tried to read it, gave up. Tried to read it again. Gave up on the first page. I quote:
"Ihre Blick trafen sich. Eric nickte und nahm Lionheart (!!!) den (!!!) Halfter ab. Als Eric sich auf seinen Rücken gezogen (!!!) hatte, setzte er sich federnd (!!!) in Bewegung. Er sog die Luft ein und warf freudig den Kopf auf. Mr. Williams wich zurück an den Rand der Rennbach und ließ seinen Blick mit leiser (!!!) Wehmut auf dem Paar ruhen, das einem Zentaur (!!!) glich, so sehr schienen Mann und Pferd verschmolzen, als sie sich im leichten Rhythmus des Galopps wiegten."
This is so bad that it makes me cry. I feel compelled to write a note in this book "I own it, but I DID NOT READ IT!", in case anyone discovers it in my house. YES, I own a copy that I'm willing to sell/Swap/give away for free please take it out of my hands!!!...more
No, I didn't read it. Not really, at least. If you ever tried, you know why. But the hardcover only cost 2,95, and I thought owning it couldn't do anyNo, I didn't read it. Not really, at least. If you ever tried, you know why. But the hardcover only cost 2,95, and I thought owning it couldn't do any harm. After all, I climbed up the mountain in Eze that inspired him to write this book....more