Ever really wanted to make somebody’s heart spring a leak? Easy enough. Put these 678 pages in their face, thMY FANGIRL IS AT MAXIMUM CAPACITY, Y'ALL!
Ever really wanted to make somebody’s heart spring a leak? Easy enough. Put these 678 pages in their face, then BAM. Mission accomplished.
With a hero-name like Dancer and an evil family trying to murder-death-kill their son for a plot, this was destined to snake my feelings. But truthfully, an action adventure science fiction romance just can't go wrong in Sherrilyn Kenyon's hands.
Everyone, probably: Yeah, yeah, just tell us what the book’s about, would ya?
Right. So, the deal is that Dancer has done pissed off the wrong people and Sumi? She works for those wrong people.
Poor chick is their slave, so she gets sent in Black Ops style to go kidnap Mr. Big Hulking Warrior.
The book's got some external shenanigans, like a few rescue missions and a handful of combat engagements. But, for the most part, this ain't your run-and-gun kind of story. Dancer and Sumi spend lots of time unpacking their shit-tons of personal baggage whilst having sexy boinking and trying to, you know, not die.
While Sumi might not seem like it her first Meet and Greet, this chick is as tough as a damn diamond. Like, girl is hardcore for-realness a professional badass.
“I look forward to ripping out your spine and beating you with it.” - Sumi
*Cue all of my applause!* DAAAAAMN WOMAN!
Still, as hard as she is, this girl’s backstory is as brutal as Dancer’s is sad. Despite their warrior-ing it up all over the place, in the end our OTP are survivors. Please...allow me to give them ALL of my feelings, thank you.
Poor Dancer has his sexy butt tied to Miss Asshole Fiance Chick, and I swear this glitch is psycho-crazy evil, like a female Hitler-In-Space.
Poor Sumi is fighting to get her daughter back, which OMG that gave me a million tears, fears, and cheers.
And, lastly, poor OTP has The Big Evil that’s gunning for both of them.
Born of Fury is character-driven out the ass, with family and culture being huge in this novel. AND I AM SO HERE FOR THIS!
“Family isn't about the blood you share, it's about the people willing to bleed for you.” - Maris.
“Just remember, family isn’t perfect. It’s just perfectly ours.” - Shahara
This. Book. Is. So. Damn. Good!
The various settings and intricate world building and narrative flow, they all cued my fangirl-flailing, but as always, dat humor! It hit my funny bone SO good. Side characters and old favorites alike had my heart going boom boom.
“Shh! I’m being stupid and I have to concentrate for it.” - Nero
“We’re here to petition the Overseer. You’ll have to forgive my bodyguard, he’s a little irritable, but I can’t blame him. I’d be irritable, too, if I went a month without a bowel movement.” - Bastien
DAMMIT I LOVE THOSE BOYS!
But that love don’t hold a pigeon-smidgen to the agapē I was rocking for Dancer. Boy was a damn nuclear force on every mother-flippin' page!
No, really. As in, really really.
1. An alpha protector. 2. A beta personality. 3. A horrendously scarred warrior. ........4. Yes all of my catnip, thank you!
But on top of ALL that glorious fangirl bait, Dancer was a virgin. A VIRGIN OMG DO YOU KNOW HOW HAPPY THAT MAKES ME?!
His virginity having been so interestingly woven into his cultural identity and backstory was amazing, no doubt. But, GUYS! Reading a story where the heroine’s had the sexy-times but the hero has not?
HAPPY FEMINIST IS HAPPY!
I mean, when you consider the fact that touching Sumi equals death ouchy-ouchy for Dancer...? Can we say next-level?!
“For one touch of your precious hand, I gladly consign myself to death.” - Dancer
Great. Now I'm dead. Purple prose can go gag itself on a lawnmower, because when paired with the story's contextual framing, that was romantic as frickty-frack! But the powerful romance isn't the only thing that’s got me making out with this book.
Characters were constantly tossing out beautiful words of wisdom, dropping profound truth bombs like it was no big.
“Fain taught me early in my life to listen with my eyes and not my ears. Lips and tongue lie. But actions never do. No matter what words are spoken, actions betray the truth of everyone’s heart.” - Dancer
BOOM! Right in my feels! One minute Born of Fury lands a direct hit to my heart with elegantly moving words, and in the next?
Devyn: Guess what? Guess what?! I grew a monkey, Uncle Hauk! Vik: Not that I haven’t been the sacred embryo’s monkey from birth, but this is a little ridiculous. Don’t you agree? Hauk: Vik? Vik: Who else would the bonebag torture THIS badly? I would be more upset about it, but look. Opposable thumbs!
Vik: Got it. Want me to run it? Hauk: Nah. Why don’t you sit there and stare at it for a while? Vik: Syn, could you please remove his anal probe?
Whoomp, there it is. The undeniable proof this novel deserves your eyeballs.
It’s funny, it’s badass, it’s cute. It’s got moments that will rip your heart out in itty-bitty bloody pieces…The heroine beats up the bad guys, the hero is adorable, and both are POC characters.
You, dear reader, got exactly zero excuses to not read Born of Fury. Now shoo.
(If you like my writing voice or you think I’m funny...[or you just really wanna laugh at a fangirl for fangirling]...then SHAMELESS YOUTUBE CHANNEL PLUG IS SHAMELESS! I review romance novels and Asian dramas, so that is a thing and now you know.)
Allow me the endeavor to warn you, gentle reader, of a few...things...this review will contain.
Thing 1. LotI shouldn’t, I won’t, but lord I’m tempted.
Allow me the endeavor to warn you, gentle reader, of a few...things...this review will contain.
Thing 1. Lots of rage. Thing 2. Lots of cursing. Thing 3. Lots of “spoilers.”
If Thing 1 and Thing 2 are your kryptonite, no worries; I’ll catch ya next week. If Thing 3 makes you leery, it’s all good because I can’t reiterate this enough...THIS BOOK IS OUCH. As such fear not, for my itty-bitty detonated spoiler bombs won’t hurt a bit. This 8 dollar toilet paper won’t be any worse for the read if you still opt to dive in.
But before we bust out the whoo-ha and what’s-its, let’s get the nitty gritty outta the way first.
Accidentally Dead; a “paranormal” “romance” about a chick who got accidentally dead. Yeah, thrilling stuff, right? Well sadly I’m not even premise truncating for the sake of a punchline. Whoops-dead-chick is this entire story in one painful anus-spike phrase.
Our heroine Nina, the dental hygienist newbie, gets bit by Greg The Vampire Patient because, umm...reasons. The book never gives a good explanation for why that went down. It likes keeping things vaguely confusing.
Thus, lo and behold, Nina goes all vampiric, annnnnd that’s it; three hundred and thirty nine damn pages of this Dung Beetle’s paradise is just Nina. Bitching. About being a vamp. Spunky, spiky, and boring Shit-For-Brains Nina has got a tragic past so she’s...wait for it...SASSY!
It isn’t JUST that this chick wouldn’t know nuance or character depth if they walked up and bit her on the ass. Oh no. We also get to spend almost the ENTIRE novel stuck in this glitch’s butt-stupid point of view.
And so we have arrived upon this book’s biggest baddest bitch-worthy boo; dat writing style.
Our reader brain has to traipse through “unique” writing, one that’s chock full of obnoxious neologisms, forced quirky internal and external dialogue, and let’s not forget my favorite oldie but goodie; the, “let’s cram in long-ass walls of text as the character just internally thinks about shit while providing absolutely no environment establishing descriptive detail. AT ALL.”
Ooooooh yeah, baby! Just what I love seeing jammed into my face! Boring musings which offer nothing of value and fail ass-first at providing any sort of entertainment WHAT SO EVER!
Hmmmm, okay fair point, but still!
The thing is, Nina almost incessantly rocks a bitch-fest. I poop ya not, my friends; It. Gets. Tiresome QUICK! Though, admittedly, I’d be far less butt-hurt if the story had been written in first person. l’ll be buggered if I understand why it wasn’t because it’s all Nina Nina Nina.
Like, who the eff is Greg? I don’t know. Just the hero that went chompy-chomp on Nina, cause that’s literally almost all I know about the dude. Poor schmuck spends the whole kit and kaboodle of this shindig listening to Nina rant about him having turned her. And to answer your question, yes my empathy for his lot is weird. I’m aware.
After all, Vampire Greg did inadvertently steal our heroine’s mortality, so I should be side-eyeing him, but I can’t. Poor guy felt more like a cardboard cutout than a character, and you can’t get mad at cardboard.
Yes, guy did supposedly feel uber guilty about his going down to chow-town on Nina, and seeing that, or hell even seeing HIM was a rarity. Everything else in this world was a mystery wrapped inside an enigma wrapped inside a taco, so why not the hero, too? Even the entire vampire mythos in this universe made fudge-all sense.
Like, why do these vamps turn into dust bunnies on their 500th birthday if they’re not mated? Oh, you know, just cause.
Why do garlic and crosses and holy water make these creatures say ouch? Why do these guys even exist? Why can vampires fly?
WHY DOES A PARANORMAL ROMANCE NOVEL CONSTANTLY HAVE ITS HEROINE MAKING FUN OF ROMANCE NOVELS? Oh, you know, just FREAKIN’ cause.
However, as much of a fart-cloud as the world building is, it don’t hold a mosquito's ass compared to the craptastic plot.
Nina gets her Creature of the Night lessons (and I am not shitting you here) from Vampires for Dummies and Wikipedia. (God I wish I was making that up.) What’s more, those reliable sources spoon-fed her the 411 that if Nina finds the vamp that made the vamp that turned her into a vamp, then WHAMO. She gets her old expiration date body back.
Nina wants to find this Lisanne chick, Greg don’t wanna help her search and we the reader are never, not-ever given the slightest clue he’s faking until...Whoops. It’s the 11th hour, we got balls-all zero conflict and we’re in desperate need of a climax. So, yeah, Greg was tooooootally searching for Miss Antagonist on the down low all along.
Now this may sound as though I'm picking gnat crap outta pepper until you realize my butt done sat through chapter after chapter AFTER CHAPTER of Nina bitching and Greg shrugging.
And all that suffering was for not because, and I quote...
"I didn’t wanna get your hopes up.” - Greg
No lie, guys. That right there, smack dab on page 262 is when my rage-face went to DEFCON 1.
We could have had a grand ole time seeing these two peeps go on a search-quest for Miss Bad Guy. We could have got an actual, oh gee what’s the word...oh right! PLOT! ROMANCE!
But a plot? A romance? In a romance novel? Why, that’s much too cliched. It’s far more fun just reading Nina bitch!
Fuuuudge you, book. Fudge. You.
I mean, even the action scenes we got, like all two of them, couldn’t offer me fun. Those things read like play by plays more than they did like actual fluid organic battle sequences.
I swear to french fries, guys, Accidentally Dead has a sin list so long, even Satan would eyeroll.
The writing style was PAINFULLY obnoxious, the female lead was the personification of chalkboard+nails, the writer put in ZERO plot crafting effort, there were walls and walls of aimless POV musing with no detail, copious fake-sounding dialogue was all over the place, the male lead lacked depth AND believability, the world building was pathetic, the universe rules either made no sense at all or were flat out absent of an explanation, the antagonist was a last minute joke, the romance was an aneurysm, AND OH MY GOD I COULD KEEP GOING.
But I won’t, cause I got a life to get back to.
The fact that I even finished this godforsaken brain-bleach thing means I deserve a cookie.
Sure I skimmed the last 50 pages, but whateves, I want my cookie.