You know what sucks? Ass holes. Ass holes suck. You know what sucks worse than ass holes? Ass holes who never learn to wipe the shit from their own sp
You know what sucks? Ass holes. Ass holes suck. You know what sucks worse than ass holes? Ass holes who never learn to wipe the shit from their own sphincters. Can ya tell I'm angry? 'Cause I'm fuck-tons angry. "Why the rage-face, Jacquie?" Oh I'll tell ya. But, before I vomit my rant-words all over the place, let me set the scene for ya.
Any Man Of Mine by Rachel Gibson. Quick run down: Hero dude hokey player Sam sees tall curvy redhead heroine Autumn in a Vegas bar, the two get drunk, bump uglies, have a quicky impromptu wedding, hero dude Sam bails, heroine chick Autumn ends up preggers, Sam orders a paternity test and a divorce, fast forward six years, and Mr. Jack Ass decides he wants a do-over. Best synopsis ever. Also fuck you, Sam.
Surprise, surprise I hate this book, and isn't that just shocking? Normally I have indepth analytical chunky word bits to throw at you for explaining WHY I hate-face on a book. This time around, nope. This book sucks all of the ass and their subsequent turds for one reason and one reason only: the hero is a majestic prancing trout-faced cockstorm piss experiment! Sam LeClaire is a full-on, ass-flaps engaged, douche nozzle and there aren't enough words in the all the languages in all the world to convey to you my hatred of this character.
Any Man of Mine is basically a second-chance-together/reformed-bad-boy story set up, and I'm okay with that. What sick bastard doesn't love a reunion story, with a kid thrown in? No one, that's who. But! When your story features a hero whose only notable characteristic is, AND I QUOTE: "...a good-looking son of a bitch." When your story has a plot-muppet in place of a human child. When your story literally has your hero getting all ass-hurt because "OH MY GOD how dare Autumn not forgive me for me for abandoning her six years ago" then ugh!
While I hate this character to colossal levels, it's noteworthy that, hey, he doesn't stalk our heroine. He pays his child support. And he shows up to be a dad. Sometimes. Okay, so fine, he's not an Edward Cullen psycho-ass. But when faced with no other insights into him as a human being, when denied all context but a some half-assed sad backstory and, "Hey, me like Hockey!" what the hell else am I supposed to do with this guy? Throw in the fact that our author never once really redeemed this dude by the end of the book, and just no.
"But Jacquie!" you're ranting at your computer screen, "Shut up about the hero! What else about the book?! Plot? Heroine? Writing? Pacing? Dialogue? Setting? ANYTHING!" Well, um...I got nothing. See, realistically everything else with this book was okay...until. The heroine was relateably likeable...until the very end for taking back a jerk who apparently stopped being a jerk but ya could've fooled me. The writing was brisk and lively...until the middle where it lulled and dragged like a damn tank in the ocean. The pacing was even keeled and slow building....until it jumped spastic, choppy, and rushed in the last 100 pages. Hell even the plot-style couldn't make up its mind whether it wanted to be just a slow-burning emotionally driven reunion story or a Penthouse Forum Special.
So, at the end of the day, if I hated this thing so much then why the hell did I do this to myself? Well, mostly because Rachel Gibson tricked me and I'm mad about it. I spent 317 pages with this book, convinced by the tone that, before I got to page 373, hero-guy was gonna do something to demonstrate this magical love he suddenly felt for our heroine. Or, somehow we as the reader were going to witness SOMETHING in the way of why the hell these two love each other. Did that ever happen? Nope. But, as bad as the hero was, and as boring as the courtship and romance turned out to be, the heroine was all of the awesome!
Yes, Autumn pulled a few TSTL moments, but throughout the story she was interesting and dynamic and strong and likeable. Our heroine owned her own business and rocked it, she was believable as a mother and friend, as a woman and an individual. But, as fun as she was, her counterpart sucked. This suckage wrecked the novel and destroyed any happy feels I might have experienced.
There book had instalove without grounding, an asshole hero without redemption, and a told-not-shown love story that hurt my brain. Rachel Gibson tricked my ass and somebody better invent a fictional-character-to-IRL machine quick, 'cause I wanna punch Sam LeClaire in the face.
No wonder it took me a damn month to finish this damn thing....more
This book had me terrified, because the opening praise for Perfect Chemistry utilized a quote by Chasing Heroes, comparing this book to Twilight, in aThis book had me terrified, because the opening praise for Perfect Chemistry utilized a quote by Chasing Heroes, comparing this book to Twilight, in a positive light. Thank GOD they were wrong!
I never thought I’d say these words; I read a YA first person, and I liked it!
Ironically, neither statement is in and of itself unusual, since there exist modifiers to each. Firstly, I’ve read Young Adult one other time (Sherrilyn Kenyon’s CON series). However, this is the very first time I’ve read a YA that was independent of my favorite author. Additionally, I’m still adamant in my hatred of a strict first person novel. Thank the literary gods that Perfect Chemistry was written in split-first person. Not only was this my first experience with reading first person, and enjoying it, but likewise it was my first experience with split FP.
This book, frankly, blew my ever lovin’ mind. One of my biggest problems with YA is the fact that, from what I’ve witnessed, experienced, and heard, most come off as being mediocre drama. At best they seem to be the literary equivalent of reality television, and at worst they’re hum-drum with one dimensional everything. This was so, so not the case for Perfect Chemistry. Here is a book that encapsulates the very definition of quality.
One of my favorite aspects to this novel is the realistic emotion, and genuine humanism evident in the characters, as well as their reactions to life. From hearsay, I’ve always understood most YAs to utilize not just one dimensional characters, but clichés and caricatures as their protagonists. Elkeles does an amazing job of taking two, very easily written-off high school stereotypes, the Rich Good Girl and the Bad Boy, and turning them completely on their heads. Both Brittney and Alex were multifaceted with believable motivations and realistic dynamics. To say that I liked these two characters, their faults and qualities included, would be a massive understatement.
In the arena of characters, I too must say that Elkeles hit a field goal, slam-dunk, goalie, and any other potential sports metaphor, in regards to the emotion that was brought on-page. Almost from the opening sequence I knew that I was delving into a world that would be unique in its own right. I did not, however, expect said uniqueness to translate into heart wrenching emotion and real-world consequences and wonderful storytelling. Hot damn if I wasn’t pleasantly, surprisingly shocked to find out otherwise.
The plot of Perfect Chemistry was unique, too. This is not to say that the storyline within said novel hasn’t been done before; it has, most assuredly. Rather, the fact the hero and heroine were so lifelike, so well written allowed me to forget I was reading a tried-and-true story type. So engrossed was I to the events, actions, and thoughts of Brittney and Alex that I transcended that fine line between story and reader. I was Brittney, I was Alex. This could be attributed to the split first-person aspect of the novel, but I insist it results from the sheer excellence Elkeles maintained in her writing.
I think, truly, what made this book so amazing was the fact that, while obviously never forgetting its reality as a romance, the story wasn’t afraid to venture off into different realities and real-world issues. Social class, poverty, affluence, stigmas, peer pressure, betrayal, violence, body image, drug use, identity crises, abuse, sex, the pressure to succeed, disabilities, culture, isolation, love, disillusionment, misunderstanding, education, prejudice, friendship, death, judgment, guilt, respect, fear…the list of topics dealt and addressed by this novel is seemingly endless. And yet, despite all the subjects noted, holding the pieces together are just two characters, and their perspectives. Of all the aspects that I love in regards to this book, and there are many, the one that still awes me is Elkeles bravery in going to places few YA authors do, and yet still manage to maintain humor and occasional levity when appropriate.
Another wonderful element to this book comes its pacing, as well as its climax and subsequent conclusion. Throughout the entire story, at no point did I ever think, “Okay, already, c’mon with it.” Every plot point succeeded in bringing about the next plot point, every scene was relevant and substantial to the characters, or the story. And, if that weren’t enough, the climax was intensely dramatic, and yet believable considering the subject matter.
Incidentally, I must give Elkeles excellent props, for despite briefly using the “high school girl lost her guy” trope, this was done in a realistic, and then admirable way, predominately following with the “get on with your life” message. While I’m a romance novel addict, I despise the “everything’s over for me without him” sentiment so popular nowadays. Lastly, the epilogue! How on EARTH could I read that wonderfully concise ending, and not leave the story with that wonderful Happy Book Feeling? To say I will be continuing with this author’s work is a statement of the obvious!...more
Yet again, I've read this series. But, seeing as hod I've apparently not read this series, I shall read it...again, for the first time. (Get that logiYet again, I've read this series. But, seeing as hod I've apparently not read this series, I shall read it...again, for the first time. (Get that logic.)...more