Here's my new and improved title for this book... The Scarlet Pimpernel: A Classic That Doesn't Suck Sweaty Balls.
I can't usually make it through clas...moreHere's my new and improved title for this book... The Scarlet Pimpernel: A Classic That Doesn't Suck Sweaty Balls.
I can't usually make it through classic literature. Does this make me a bad person? I think not. There are manymanymany other things I do on a daily basis that make me a bad person, but not being able to force myself to read (in my opinion) outdated and overrated books is not one of them.
There are readers out there like me, I'm sure of it! And it's you guys that I'm talking to now. Rejoice, fellow slackers! There is a classic that you can actually read! Imagine it... You're sitting on a bench engrossed in a book. The person next to you leans over and asks, "What are you reading?". You can finally plaster a smug-ass smile on your face and say, "Why, right now I'm thoroughly enjoying Orczy's classic The Scarlet Pimpernel.". See?! Doesn't that sound awesome! And when someone asks you what you've recently read, you won't have to admit to the fact that you're deeply into a series about an alien who falls in love with his human neighbor, your extensive comic book collection, or all of that erotica that's hidden neatly away on your Kindle!
Now is this book really a four star novel by my 'real-book' standards? Fuck, no! It's old as shit. The copy I got didn't even have anything on the cover. You know it's old when it's got that black cover-thing going on. The pages were creaky, it smelled weird, and I think there's a possibility I should have had it tested for mold before I brought it into my house. But. It's a readable book. Go get it, and for a few blissful moments you can pretend that you're an intellectual giant.(less)
3.5 stars If you're already a fan of the book (and you enjoy graphic novels), then this will probably appeal to you. It would also be great for people...more3.5 stars If you're already a fan of the book (and you enjoy graphic novels), then this will probably appeal to you. It would also be great for people who don't want to read the book, but do want the condensed version of the story. Because, let's face it, there are references to Pride and Prejudice everywhere.
The great thing about this is, Butler stuck with Austin's version of P&P, and she gave us all of the favorite scenes and quotes from the book. The bad thing about that is, I don't think it will make younger (or reluctant) readers want to read this. I don't blame Butler, though, because this was a no-win situation for her. Having said that, I wouldn't recommend buying this as a Christmas present for that special teenage boy in your family. At least, not if you want them to say, "Thanks! That's just what I was hoping for!". Then again, you may be one of those people who enjoy watching kids' faces contort into that look of utter disappointment when they open your gift. Whatever, it's your call.
My biggest complaint would have to be the artwork. It's just not that great. I'm not saying it looks like a child drew it with their crayons, but I would have liked to see something a little more visually spectacular. I mean, it's Pride and Prejudice! Give me something gorgeous and glossy, for God's sake!(less)
**spoiler alert** I almost gave up on this book. The first half of the story seemed to drag on and on endlessly. I'll admit I'm not one who appreciate...more**spoiler alert** I almost gave up on this book. The first half of the story seemed to drag on and on endlessly. I'll admit I'm not one who appreciates vivid descriptions about scenery or weather. It had me screaming, "Get on with the good stuff!" more than a few times. That being said, the second half of the book was great! I stayed up well past my bedtime to finish it! There were quite a few "gotcha!" moments in it that I really enjoyed! The ending suprised me only because I wasn't expecting everyone to make it out alive, much less live happily ever after. In fact, I thought poor Laura would be dead by the second or third chapter. Anyway, I liked it.(less)
Whew! I finished this one this morning, and I'm glad I finally read it. I can't say, however, that I enjoyed it, would recommend it, or will ever read...moreWhew! I finished this one this morning, and I'm glad I finally read it. I can't say, however, that I enjoyed it, would recommend it, or will ever read it again. Not in this lifetime, anyway. For starters, I didn't like Jane. Yeah, when she was a kid, I felt sorry for her, but the older she got the less I liked her. Her religious convictions, and the decisions she made because of them, made Bertha seem like the picture of sanity by comparison. Why in the world did she wander off in the middle of the night with NO MONEY?! What did she think would happen? Was manna suposed to drop out of heaven? I don't buy that an educated sensible woman would just run off in the night without taking enough with her to make sure she could survive. A crackhead would have better sense than that! By the end of the story, I was wishing she had wandered off after St John and contracted some disease. The fact that she didn't totally realize what an awful freak St John was, nailed the lid on her coffin to me. Even at the very end of the book, she kept talking about all of the great 'works' he was doing for God. Seriously?! I would have told him to give me my five thousand pounds back! What an ass! At least Bronte had the sense to kill him off at the end. Well, maybe he wasn't quite dead yet, but he was on his way to meet his 'Maker'. Amen! I also thought it was more than just a teeny bit fishy that she ended up on the doorstep of the only family she had in the entire world. How likely is that? Not very. Then there is the man himself, Mr Rochester. He wasn't anything to write home about, for sure. Let's start with the obvious, shall we? He was cold, condescending, secretive. Wow. Oh yeah, he was ugly to boot. Yum. Can anything else be said about him to make him more of a catch? I know! Just in case, let's have him keep a drooling homicidal wife hidden away in the attic! Personally, think Bronte had covered all the bases at this point. Did he honestly not see anything wrong with letting her marry him, while he had that crazy bat of a wife locked upstairs? If he had just told her the situation to start with, I might have liked him a little better. Naw. Probably not. I never actually figured out what she saw in him. My best guess ended up being low self-esteem coupled with a bad childhood. The 'gothic mystery' part of the plot ended in the middle of the book, and shortly thereafter ended anything remotely interesting. Say what you will about Looney Bertha, but at least she pumped some life into the story. And wasn't is just awesome that Bertha burned the house to the ground and then leapt to her death? Nice exit big girl! I gotta say, she was by far my favorite. Lest we forget, she also managed to mangle Rochester's good looks even more before she bowed out. Now Jane's man looks like a one-eyed, one armed, flying purple people eater. Of course, she doesn't mind, because now she feels she can be 'of use' to him. Jane, I can tell we will never see eye-to-eye on things, so I'll just let it go. Our friendship was never meant to be. For some, you will forever remain the stoic heroine who finally gets her Happily Ever After. For me, you are just a ninny with bad taste in men. As Adele would say, "Adieu.". Reader, this review is over.(less)