Hello. My name is Wet Blanket. And I'm about to throw myself all over this stupid book and it's glowing reviews. I knew going into this that it was an AHello. My name is Wet Blanket. And I'm about to throw myself all over this stupid book and it's glowing reviews. I knew going into this that it was an Adam West sort of Batman book. A throwback, if you will, to the days when Batman was a bit more campy and fun. A SILLY comic. I expected it to a be tongue-in-cheek nod towards simpler times. BUT. I also expected it to be smart and funny. You know, to poke fun at itself in some sort of a clever way. It wasn't. And it didn't. This was nothing more than practically a word-for-word rehash of the old tv show. A carbon copy! It's the graphic novelization of the 1960's Batman television series. It wasn't new, clever, or even remotely funny. It was LAME. I'm a middle-aged woman, and I thought it was lame. So what does that tell you, hmmm? How fucking dorky do you have to be for a mom to say, "Yeah, I bought this for my kid, but I can't give it to them, because it's too childish.". Seriously, if I was looking for a way to get my son to hate reading, I would have just handed him a Judy Blume book. Here, Darling. I think you'll really get a lot out of Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret. It's got some really poignant moments in it! Wait till you get to the part about menstruation! You'll laugh, and laugh, and laugh...
Let's recap, shall we? I highly recommend this if: 1) You are over the age of 65 2) You only let your child watch PBS 3) Your idea of comedy gold includes the words Knock, Knock... 4) You think dying of boredom sounds like a good way to end it all 5) You live in *Bristol
The last portion of this review contains nothing more than a rant about how I ended up purchasing this book
This is story about a boy and a girl who are separated by a vast pond. No. It's not a love story, ladies. And that boy should be very grateful for the pond that separates them right about now. See, there's this reviewer here on Goodreads. A reviewer who ** Shall-Not-Be-Named He's a respected review, in fact. And although we rarely agree on comic books (because he has horrible taste), I still like reading his reviews. And therein lies my downfall. It all started when I went to purchase some comic books online for my boys (ok, I wanted them, too). I had three in mind, but I need a fourth to get that damn Free Shipping. As I was scrolling through my options, I came across Batman '66, and a little light bulb went off in my head. I'd seen that title before! I remember reading a positively rapturous review for it! Click Confirm your purchase Click And within 5 to 7 business days I had my books! It was all bliss until I started reading this one. I settled myself on the porch and cracked it open, fully expecting to be mesmerized by witty banter and skillful wordplay. The more I read, however, the more pinched my features became. Huh?! What the fuck is this stupid shit?! Finally, after suffering through an entire issue, I went inside and looked up the book on Goodreads. AHHHHHHHHH! It was the review of my nemesis that led to the purchase! Yes. I have a nemesis. What? See, if I am Superman (which I am, for the purpose of this review) then he is Bizarro. An English version of Bizarro, who writes his reviews while drinking his evil Bizarro-tea! Because who drinks hot tea?! That's just wrong on so many levels. I guarantee you Superman drinks sweet iced tea. Why? Because he's not a damn dirty hippie, a granola cruncher, or a some Limey crumpet-stuffer! So yeah. We disagree on most everything. You can pretty much bet that we will be on opposite ends of the Love/Hate spectrum. Because he has bad taste. So, in conclusion, his appalling judgment caused me great amounts of pain and suffering. If sharing this very personal and painful story helps just one person avoid this same heartache, then it will all have been worth it. Amen.
*No disrespect to any normal people who live in Bristol. **If you are one of Sam's legion of followers, and you are getting ready to spam my thread in his defense? IDIOT. STOP. I'm kidding. He's GRRRREAT! And someday...under the Blood Moon...we will dance the Batusi. ...more
With the movie coming out, I thought I'd revisit the Winter Soldier storyline. And I was surprised by what I found.Also reviewed for Addicted2Heroines
With the movie coming out, I thought I'd revisit the Winter Soldier storyline. And I was surprised by what I found. First, that I'd only read volume one. So I decided to go whole hog (where does that saying even come from anyway?), and get two volumes in one shot with the Ultimate Collection. Second, that at the time I originally read it, I had no idea how awesome it really was. Maybe I just hadn't read enough crappy graphic novels yet? Who knows? Whatever the reason, I don't remember being blown away by the storytelling like I was this time around. And I was. Blown. Away.
Now, I honestly can't imagine that anyone would consider this a spoiler, since this title is over ten years old, but there's always some whiny bitch who complains... You know who you are! So. If you don't know who the Winter Soldier is, and don't want me to spoil the BIG SECRET for you? Stop reading this review. Right now.
Alright then. If you want to find a good Captain America story, find Brubaker's stuff. He's the best when it comes to this character, in my opinion. The first time I really noticed his awesomeness was after I read The Death of Captain America story arc. I remember getting all misty-eyed at the end. That's admittedly embarrassing, especially over a comic book character that you know isn't going to stay dead. Dear God, when Tony gave his speech at the end? Shit. I'm getting all choked up...
Anyway. This starts off with a flashback to Red Skull and General Lukin meeting up to buy/trade WMD's with each other, and then switches over to present day where Red Skull's newest plan to Take Over The World! is in full swing. And that's a running theme in this book. Flashbacks, I mean. Which can be pretty distracting if they're not done right, but Brubaker does an excellent job here. Everything flows together in a way that makes sense. So Red Skull has a cosmic cube, and with it he intends to...do evil things, of course. So he's the villain for this story. BZZZZZ! WRONG! Gotcha! Big upset, right off the bat! Man, totally forgot about that thing that happened! So, Red Skull, not a player in this story anymore. Or is he? Moving on to the main event! Bucky is back! And not only is he back, but he's evidently been a major player for decades without anyone realizing who he was. He's a ghost, a myth, the bogeyman of covert ops world. Nice. Bringing Bucky Barnes back isn't something super-special in itself, only because almost every dead comic book character comes back from the grave at one time or another. No, it's the way Brubaker brings him back to life that shows off his talent. I mean, how the hell do you explain why a 16 year old kid is fighting in a war alongside Captain America? With the government's stamp of approval, no less! He also makes it clear that Bucky was not simply there to look cute in his mask while posing next to Cap. He was, in reality, the business end of the team when it came to wetworks on their missions. In fact, he was so good at his job that the Russians who found his body, originally thought his DNA might hold the key to the super-serum. But, no. He was just a naturally gifted fighter, who had already been trained to be an assassin. Bucky the Assassin! Whodathunkit?! Brubaker. Obviously.
Ok. So the bad guys (in this case, a shadow agency of the KGB) pulled a one-armed (mostly) dead Barnes out of freezing water, shortly following an explosion that left everyone thinking he was (totally) dead. He was successfully revived, but without any memories of his former self. Thus, making it easy for the villains to reprogram him as...Winter Soldier. Muahahahahahahaha! So for years he would be sent out on missions to assassinate targets, and then promptly get stuffed back into one of those stasis containers. You know, with the glass front, the bubbling liquid, and the wires sticking off of the person inside? Which I can't help but giggle over, because I always think of a frozen Austin Powers when I see one of those things now. Putting Bucky in stasis over the years helps with two things, at least from a reader's perspective. First, and most importantly, it explains why he is still young. Second, it gives you a reason to hope that the real Bucky is still in there somewhere. Why? Apparently, if he was awake too long he started showing signs that his memory might be resurfacing. Maybe. Sort of. They weren't really sure, but why take chances, right? Go on...hop on in the glass cylinder big guy...that's it...watch your head now...
Anyway, there's more to the story than just the return of another cool sidekick. You've also got Steve and Sharon working together again.They're over each other, but not over-over each other. So let's stick 'em together in an intense situation and see what shakes out of that tree! Then there's the cosmic cube itself. What does it do, and how is it going to affect the outcome of everything? Finally, we get to Lukin. He's an awesome bad guy, mostly because he isn't over in a corner somewhere cackling to himself. Sure, he's evil. But he's not evil just for the sake of being evil. He considers himself a patriot, and his goal is to restore Mother Russia to her former glory...not bring about the zombie apocalypse.
This was great. Seriously, if you haven't read it? Go get it! And if you have read it before, it might be time for a re-read. Just sayin'.
This was pretty fun for a tie-in! The best part was Squirrel Girl kicking Wolverine's ass.
I haven't read the REAL Fear Itself event, but I think it wasThis was pretty fun for a tie-in! The best part was Squirrel Girl kicking Wolverine's ass.
I haven't read the REAL Fear Itself event, but I think it was that thing where Red Skull's daughter (and also new Red Skull), Sin, did...something evil, and unleashed a bunch of enchanted hammers on unsuspecting heroes/villains. And FEAR. Don't forget about the FEEEEEAR! But, seriously, pay no attention to me. I know nothing about any of this.
So, yeah, I don't know what was going on in the rest of the Marvel universe, but now I dosort of know what the Avengers were up to.
The whole thing is shown through flashbacks while different members of the Avengers (and New Avengers) are being interviewed. That style of storytelling may get on some people's nerves, but I really enjoyed it.
It didn't really give you a complete picture of anything, but there were several small stories that played out (I thought) very well.
One of my favorites were Spider-woman & Hawkeye making an awkward love connection. You know it's going to end badly (and so do they!), but it's one of those beautiful train wrecks.
And another was Daredevil helping Squirrel Girl save Luke and Jessica's baby, when the Avengers Tower goes down. Everything about that one got me in the FEELS!
I usually enjoy almost anything that Bendis writes, and this one was no exception. If you've been putting this one off out of fear (<--see what I did there?) that you won't get it, stop worrying. This is a (fairly) self-contained little section of the event. ...more
There's a somewhat decent plot under all the cheese, but it wasn'1.5 stars
I won this from a Goodreads giveaway thing.
Yay. I finally won a book. *cough*
There's a somewhat decent plot under all the cheese, but it wasn't strong enough. This was strictly a Paint-By-Numbers paranormal romance. Magic. Check. Sex. Check Danger. Check Magical Sex While In Danger. Check.
Marissa wakes up from a scary dream, and suddenly she has powers. So. She turns to her longtime crush/boss smexy P.I. Jack Slade (yeeees, that's really his name) to help her unearth the secrets of her past. Naturally, they both find each other irresistible. But. They've kept their feelings in check for several years, because they work with each other. Suddenly they can No Longer Resist. *insert tons of sex scenes that don't help move the plot forward* Please don't leave comments about how I 'Don't Get Paranormal Romance'. I do. No, it's not my favorite genre, but if it's done right, I like it. My personal opinion was that this was poorly written. Again. My Personal Opinion. Beyond that, there were things that struck me as odd or unlikely. For example: Marissa was wrapped in an embroidered baby blanket when she was left at the orphanage. No tags. No label. Slade (Master P.I.) thinks that they'll be able to track down the person who embroidered it... 30 years ago. And that this person might remember who ordered the blanket... 30 years ago. No. No, to that whole line of thinking. There's not a real private investigator who would even suggest something so stupid.
Some of the plot, while not terrible original, could have been interesting to me. I like witches, and I like mysteries. However, the writing felt amateur, and I had to force myself to finish. I would have DNF'ed it, but I felt guilty about the whole Winner-Winner-Chicken-Dinner thing. Anyway. I finished it.
This looks like the author's first book, so maybe the next one will be better?
First off, how fabulous is that cover?! Stunning! Beautiful, haunting, gorgeous. etc.. I seriously wish I had a hardback edition of this book, becauseFirst off, how fabulous is that cover?! Stunning! Beautiful, haunting, gorgeous. etc.. I seriously wish I had a hardback edition of this book, because I'd display the shit out of it.
I really enjoyed the writing, the pace, and the whodunnit murder-mystery aspect of it. I picked it up yesterday afternoon, and I finished it before bedtime. It's not a short book, so that says something right there. So, even with all of the flaws, I couldn't bring myself to 1 star this book for that reason alone.
Sadly, there were issues. Issues that simply cannot be overlooked and swept under the rug, regardless of how quickly I devoured it.
The magic. This was downright hokey. Her hands crack open, and water comes out? WTF?! As a plain mystery, this would have been a much better story, but whatever this 'elemental power' thing was, just kind of ruined it. It was campy, ill-explained, and ultimately mostly unnecessary.
The romance... Ok. And I'm being totally serious when I say this. It was such a calf-eyed insta-love, that I thought it was a red herring to throw us off the trail. I assumed that there was no way for this to be an actual romance worth taking seriously. The end would clear it out of the way, she would find someone else (or not), and I didn't need to worry that this bullshit was for real. Whoops. Ridiculous doesn't even begin to explain how awful it was. I just can't...
The ending. Did no one care enough to step up and tell the author that this was a wad of unbelievable nonsense? I have a hard time believing that anyone out there would be able to cheerfully swallow that down as a remotely reasonable explanation. I'm wrong. Of course I'm wrong, because I see several 4 and 5 star reviews for this, so, yeah. Some folks bought it. (view spoiler)[The whole thing hinges on your ability to believe that two tweenage girls could successfully swap lives. One girl is next in line to be a Duchess, and the other is her maid's daughter. They are half-sisters, not twins, but the author seems to think that a house full of staff members who have known them both (most since birth) wouldn't notice this. Why? Well, they went off to boarding school together. None of the adults charged with the future Duchess' safekeeping caught on, because she staying in her room when they first arrived. Riiiight. I guess the staff didn't meet her when she got there? Then they dyed their hair. Awesome disguise! They took 'lessons' from each other. Just like Parent Trap! Except they're not identical twins... And when they came back home a few years later, everyone just assumed that the 'subtle' changes in...oh, I don't know...BONE STRUCTURE was just due to growing up. Everyone? Even her best friend/boyfriend, and Oscar the observant family butler? WTF?! No. NO! Maybe, just maybe this could have worked if the 'maid' hadn't returned with the Duchess. But both girls under the same roof? The reasoning is that no one notices maids. Ok. Perhaps the other aristocrats might not have paid any attention to her, but the other servants in the house most certainly would have. Are you kidding me with this shit?! (hide spoiler)]
In the end, I'd say the writing is good, but the unbelievability of some of the plot elements really took its toll on me.
I received a digital arc from NetGalley, in exchange for an honest review
This was another excellent volume of Batwoman, and you really have to credit the creative team that put it together.
It starts off with Kate a4.5 stars
This was another excellent volume of Batwoman, and you really have to credit the creative team that put it together.
It starts off with Kate and Maggie still struggling with the repercussions of the battle with Medusa, but their relationship seems strong enough to overcome it. Now that Maggie knows that Kate is Batwoman, there's definitely a deeper layer to everything. And I liked how she immediately has her back. In the Killer Croc one-shot, you get a look at how Maggie is fully capable of not only taking care of herself, but also stepping up to help take care of Batwoman.
The main plotline involves the D.E.O. basically blackmailing Kate. They want Batman unmasked, but it appears that this vigilante has all his bases covered. Shocking, no? It seemed like a no-brainer that she'd refuse, but Bones had an ace in the hole. They have something very precious of hers, and they know she'll do anything to get back. Anyone who's been reading this title can probably guess what I'm talking about, but I'm trying not to be all spoilery.
Ok. Everything mentioned above? Great, good, awesome. It's all the same stuff I've come to expect from this title. Now, the ending? I can't blame the creative team for this massive cliffhanger fuck-up, because I'm pretty sure this wasn't their choice. The morons in charge of this at DC, however, need to be spanked and sent to their rooms with no supper. Seriously. Talk about an abrupt ending. I'll read the next volume to find out what happens...but I'm not happy. No. Not happy at all....more
So. I really thought this was pretty darn good. Now, Jeff's LMD wrotThis was a Buddy-Read with Jeff's Life Model Decoy. Otherwise known as, The Jeffbot.
So. I really thought this was pretty darn good. Now, Jeff's LMD wrote a less than glowing review for this one a few days ago. And since then, I've been struggling to figure out why he didn't like it as much as I did. HOW could he not see what a cool story this was?! It was during a conversation with Mike this past weekend about Doctor Strange: The Oath, that the answer hit me upside the head. Both stories had one thing in common, and I liked both stories more than my male counterparts. Romance. No, Jackass. Neither of these stories are exactly what I would consider romances, but I smelled the scent of Lurve on them. Smells kinda like chocolate. Only not as fattening. In Dr. Strange, I loved that the story ended with Stephen and the Night Nurse in the classic smooch-pose. And in Scourge of the Owls, I loved that Calvin was fighting to protect his lady-love and her child. What can I say? Apparently, I'm a sucker for that sort of thing. Maybe I'm wrong, but I think that may have made the difference for me.
Anyway, on to the review! I was a little less than excited to read another Court of the Owls story, because it's been my least favorite storyline in New 52's Batman. I'm not saying it was bad. I just didn't get butterflies in my tummy over the Owls. Sorry. So. Yay. More Owl stuff. And not only that, but this comic is about an ex-Owl that I'd never heard of before. Yay...again. However, it wasn't long before I was totally engrossed in Calvin Rose's predicament. As a child he was cruelly abused by his father, until one day he managed to escape. He found a home at Haly's Circus, and quickly became their miniature Houdini act. When the Court of Owls came calling and promised him vengeance on evil men like his father, he eagerly signed on to become one of their Talons. But it wasn't until his training was over that he realized how badly he had been lied to. Unfortunately, he also realized that they would never just let him walk away. He was trapped. Or so he thought. When his first job as a Talon turned out to be murdering a mother and child, he risked everything to escape the Court, and keep the two of them safe. But no one can hide from the Owls for long...
Fast forward a few years. The Night of the Owls has already happened, and a mysterious stranger is offering a way for Calvin to strike at the heart of the organization, and cripple it forever. *ominous music plays* But Calvin trust him?
Yeah, I thought this was a great title. I loved Calvin, and I can't wait to see how this all turns out for him in volume 2. I honestly hope that they keep this character around for a while, because he really has the potential to become on of my favorites.
*Side Note* This review is dedicated to "my bestest, awesomest, buddiest pal in the world, Jeff". And he didn't tell me I had to say that. At all. Really. ...more
I'm just gonna hit a few highlights, because I really want to start reading the next volume. There may be some spoilers in here, so read itStill fun!
I'm just gonna hit a few highlights, because I really want to start reading the next volume. There may be some spoilers in here, so read it at your own peril.
So which one of the kids decided to take off and leave with Cyclops & Co. at the end of the last volume?
Yeah, that didn't come as a surprise to me, but I've been reading a bunch of these X-titles, so I already knew he was buggin' out of there. However, it causes Jean to throw a tantrum of epic proportions, and she tries to use her evil mutant powers on him to get him to change his mind. Lucky for her (and everyone else) Kitty is there to give her a little pep talk about Power and Responsibility.
Well, that and the fact that the Stepford Cuckoos squished her brain with their mutant brain squishing powers. But, really? She deserved it.
The next problem is that Mystique is still out there causing problems for all of the X-men. This time around, she's set the New Kids up to take the fall for several robberies that ended with a pile of dead bodies.
On the plus side, Scott gets to meet his brother, Havoc. And they have a nice bro moment before Captain America tries to arrest our young time travelers. But before he can even read them their rights, Jean has yet another freak-out when she accidentally reads Scarlet Witch's mind. The whole No More Mutants! thing didn't sit well with her... Don't worry, it all turns out ok. Sort of.
Hey, did you know that Beast (young Beast) was in love with Jean? Me neither! Apparently, everyone but Iceman has the hots for that redhead. I can see why...after all, she's such a sweetie!
So I had to read this one, because every other word out of Jeff's mouth is Sweaty Hippo Manboobs, and I needed to find out what the hell he was talkinSo I had to read this one, because every other word out of Jeff's mouth is Sweaty Hippo Manboobs, and I needed to find out what the hell he was talking about. Me: How you been lately, Jeff? Jeff: Sweaty Hippo Manboobs! Me: Read anything good lately? Jeff: Sweaty Hippo Manboobs! Me: Mrs. Jeff doing ok? Me: She's fine, thanks. Sweaty Hippo Manboobs! And now I understand.
If you can't read the text, suck it up and find the comic. It's worth it.
Alrighty, this one had been so hyped up to me that I actually had it for several days, before I got the courage to read it. Unlike some people (Sara & Mike), I don't actually enjoy destroying people's lives with my podcast! Mainly, because I don't have a podcast. Kidding! I love these guys! Go check them out, but pay no attention to their opinion of my beloved Power Couple.
But back to the book at hand. So, there I was, all scared to turn the pages... And, at first? I wasn't wetting my pants the way I thought I would. But after a while, I noticed that I was letting out these little chuckles. All the time. Every page, a new giggle. So, no, I wasn't folded over praying my bladder held up, but I was constantly grinning. Fine. There may have been several real snort-guffaws that came out of me, but those were tempered by the ladylike smile that was plastered on my face. So...those don't count. I thought this was going to be something so in-your-face funny, but it turned out to be (for me) something more subtle than I was expecting. There's an actual story that goes along with all the puns! And it was so good!
Fred Meyers is Boomerang. Did you know that? Cause off the top of my head, I had no idea. I didn't even know the guy's real name, much less want to read a title told from his perspective. In case you were wondering, he's an ass.
Fred's the guy who blames all of his problems on someone else. He's a whiner, a loser, a horrible friend, and an even worse partner. But by the end of this, I just couldn't get enough of him! And it wasn't just Boomerang that makes Superior Foes worth it. The entire cast of D-list villains were so well written! And when Luke Cage and Iron Fist show up? Hilarious!
The plot rests on a heist job with the Sinister Six. Ok, there's only Five of them, but that lends them an air of mystery. That sixth villain could be anyone! That's their story, and they're sticking to it... The heist itself was much more twisty-turny than I was originally anticipating, and the fact that it had several good GOTCHA! moments to it, was an unexpected bonus for me.
Man, I loved this one! You know a book is good when the first thing you do after you finish is go check out the release date for the next book. Nooooooo! 2015?! *sobs quietly* So this may be labeled Young Adult, but I think it's one of those books that is more of a story about a young adult. Does that make sense? Also, the blurb? It really doesn't capture the the scope of what's inside that cover. In fact, I put off reading this for quite a while because it didn't sound very interesting. Well. That, and my eyeballs don't always work exactly right. Every time I looked at the title, my brain kept telling me that this was Book One of the Revenant Chronicles. So, yeah. I'm looking at a cover with a girl with flowers in her hair, and I'm thinking that it's some sort of Zombie Romance for teens. *cough, cough* It's not.
Lia's a feisty little princess who doesn't want to marry the son of a crusty old king. Best guess (since she's never actually met her fiance) is that he's only half as old and crusty as his father. Which would still make him pretty darn old...and crusty. She's had time to chew the situation over for a while, and decides that since her parents don't give a damn about what she wants, the only sensible thing to do is make a run for it. So with the help of her BFF/Lady-in-waiting, she goes on the lam...instead of showing up for her wedding. And that's pretty much the start of the adventure for everyone concerned.
As far as the two mysterious strangers from the blurb go, it isn't really the conventional love triangle. What I mean by that, is that Lia isn't torn between her love of two men. She only has the hots for one of the guys, but both of them are smitten with her. Smitten!. So sad that I never really get a chance to use that word in real life.
The majority of the story is told from Lia's perspective, even though she's not the narrator. Every now and then, though, the author throws in a chapter told from either the prince or the assassin's point of view. I don't think it always works well when you switch viewpoints, but I really enjoyed it this time around. Another thing I liked was that even though this is Fantasy and there's a bit of an Epic Journey to the book, it didn't feel like it. I guess what I mean is, I'm not a huge fan of some of those stories, because they tend to drag on and on and on. This one worked for me, mainly because the author didn't bother to describe every shrub, or feel the need to go into detail about how the sunshine smelled. And if you happen to be a reader who enjoys lots 'n lots of descriptive prose? Well, I'm not trying to belittle those books. I just don't like to read them. At all. "The water was blue." Period. I don't need two paragraphs describing the blue water.
Anyway. Even though the main storyline is character driven, there's an overall feeling that you're also reading a sweeping tale of kingdoms at war. You're just not sure what the underlying cause is...yet. There's also a bit of magic and prophecy, but they always seem to sit in the background. Sort of like they're just waiting to reveal themselves as major players in this story. And of course, there's romance, but it doesn't overwhelm the book or the characters. As an added bonus, there are even a few hints that perhaps this world is ours, set in some distant future. Oooooooh!
By the end, I was so caught up in what was happening that I didn't want to put it down. And when it it was over, I felt like I hadn't even scratched the surface of what the author is planning for this series.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for giving me a digital arc in exchange for an honest review....more
So. I thought I had read volume one of this title. Sadly, no. I read this. And what I actually needed to have read was this. Fuck you, Marvel. And fuSo. I thought I had read volume one of this title. Sadly, no. I read this. And what I actually needed to have read was this. Fuck you, Marvel. And fuck all your confusing titles! Avengers, Mighty Avengers, The Avengers, New Avengers, Young Avengers... *spits on ground* Because evidently when I'm angry, I turn into a llama... It's possible that I'm the only one who has this problem. Except I'm not!
Anyhoo. Since I'm not one to let a little something like total confusion stop me, I pasted a smile on my face and just kept reading. And you know what? This was still a really cool book! I didn't really understand any of the backstory, but it was so good that I flew through it anyway. It's all about the Illuminati, and some big cataclysm that's going to rock the universe if they don't figure out a way to stop it. There's this cool side-story involving Namor and Black Panther, too. Their kingdoms are at war (for some reason), and there's lots of shifty things going on... And I still have no idea what's going down, but it seems very interesting. Black Bolt and his crazy brother are building some machine-thingy, and it... Well, I'm not sure what it does, but it doesn't look very nice. Is Black Bolt evil? Good? Under some sort of mind control? Again. No idea.
So 2 stars, huh? Yeah, it was pretty bad. But. Hear me out, 'cause I think this is going to be an author to watch. I was pAlso posted at Addicted2Heroines
So 2 stars, huh? Yeah, it was pretty bad. But. Hear me out, 'cause I think this is going to be an author to watch. I was probably a hundred pages into this thing before it started to go sideways. Up to that point, I actually thought this was going to be at least a 4 star book. The descriptions of Cat, her life, and the world she lived in were all really interesting. Catherine is a 14 year old girl who lives a life of privilege because her father is a government official. The country is at war with it's neighbors, so any child over 13 is subject to Collection (basically a draft), but Catherine is exempt due to her family's status. They don't live on rations, she has nice clothes, etc. But her dad is a dickhole, and she's got an arranged marriage to another dickhole hanging over her head. So she chops off her hair, pulls on some pants, and stows away on an airship that's headed out of the country. As luck would have it, the crew of the ship are good people. In fact, they smuggle extra rations and supplies to the poor people in her country. And once they discover Cat onboard, they sort of adopt her into their family. There's also a nice steampunk vibe to the world, by the way. So far, so good.
Then some wonky things started cropping up that made me scratch my head. First, Cat discovers a horrible secret about her government when she travels outside of the country. The crew already knew what the government had been up to, but for obvious reasons they couldn't do much about it. Naturally, being 14 and full of righteous indignation, she tells the adults that they need to do something about it. But here's the kicker: All of these adults just basically say, "Yep! You're right! Let's overthrow the government!". Huh? I mean, I'm fairly confident that the conversation wouldn't go down that way. But let's pretend it did. So now that we've decided on starting a rebellion, we'll need months to plan out what to do. We need to find some allies, gather supplies, do some reconnaissance, right? Nah. How does the day after tomorrow sound to you? Butbutbutbut... Yeah, I'm pretty sure we've got some high explosives sittin' around here somewhere, and Jethro will scrounge up some blueprints to the building. Butbutbutbut... Wheeee! Here we go!
No. Just, no, to that entire plotline.
The love story was equally frustrating, because for the first half of the book our heroine is 14. She's a kid for Christ's sake! And even once she turned 15...well, she was barely 15. Then there's the hero. To say the very least, Fox was not all that and a bag of bread crumbs. He was (I believe) 17 or 18, but he came across like an incredibly petulant child. The vast majority of the time his moods were swinging back and forth between sulky and blatantly obnoxious. If something needed to be said or done at an inappropriate time...Fox was your man. Unsurprisingly, those two fell in love. Also, unsurprisingly, the declarations of their Everlasting Lurve were a source of severe annoyance to me. How? How can you know that you will never love another, Cat?! You. Are. A. Child. But the moment I truly gave up was when Cat started bragging in a very 'neener neener' sort of way to the bad guy. She did the classic Villain Monologue! She gave away the entire plan...while basically trapped in his lair! Muahahahaha! Let me tell you EXACTLY how we plan to bring you down! 'Cause NOW you know how incredibly intelligent we are! Oh. Wait. Is that a gun in your hand? By the end of the book, there had been so many WTF?! That would NEVER Happen moments, that I was supremely pissed off. 1 star rating, here we come! And then... I looked at the author's bio on Goodreads. Ok, here's the part where I tell you that this is an author to seriously watch for in the upcoming years. Saxton wrote this when she was 16, found a publisher when she was 17, and is now 19. Ooooooooh. So that's why it was so frustratingly childish. Duh. She was a kid when she wrote this! I can hear teenagers out there stomping their feet and screaming, "Nu-uh! I am not a child!" Yes. Yes, the fuck you are. Go take a time-out, and we'll revisit this conversation in about 15 years. Now, I don't know why someone in the publishing house didn't bother to point out that there were a lot of unrealistic plot holes, or that the interactions between Cat and the other characters would not play out that way in real-life. It was a silly waste, because the kid created an interesting world, and the writing was pretty damn decent for the first good bit of the book. I also applaud the route she took at the end of the book, but it was somewhat ruined by a weird epilogue that didn't need to be there. Let's face it, you only know what you know. And Life Experience is something you absolutely have to experience to have. So no matter how mature, intelligent, or talented you are at 16, you still aren't going to be able to grasp the details of life that can only be learned through...well, getting older. I really can't in good conscience give this more than 2 stars, because knowing why it sounds juvenile doesn't actually make the book itself better. However. Given enough time, I think this author has the potential to blow our socks off.
I'd like to give this more than 3 stars, but I just can't. In fact, 3 stars feels really generous. However, it wasn'Also reviewed for Addicted2Heroines
I'd like to give this more than 3 stars, but I just can't. In fact, 3 stars feels really generous. However, it wasn't all bad. The art was beautiful in some of the panels, and even when it wasn't stunning, it was never awful. Also, I liked the new Guardians. Their personalities added some much needed freshness to the story.
So, at first the Lanterns just think their power battery is acting up, but after being invaded by an entity call Relic, they learn that it's much worse. The universe that existed before this one was destroyed because their version of Lanterns sucked up all the resources. Lightweilders..Lightsabers..something like that. Relic explains (in between punching and blowing things up) that he is the sole survivor of the old universe. He was a scientist who tried to tell the...Lightsmiths!...that's it, Lightsmiths. Anyway he tried to tell them that the emotional spectrum wasn't an infinite resource (cue the Reduce Reuse Recycle! commercial), but they wouldn't listen. So the universe collapsed in on itself...as universes so often do. The point is, every time any of the Lanterns use their ring they are draining the universe of it's life energy. Hey, wait. Didn't they already do this plot? I think it went along the lines of Flash was ripping apart the fabric of the universe every time he used the Speed Force, right? Hmmm. Well, since they're such good friends, maybe Barry can give Hal a call and help him sort it out. You know, since he's already been through this sort of thing. *Insert Lots of Battle Scenes Here* Turn the page. John's dead! Huh? When did that happen? Turn the page. John's fighting beside everyone in (yet another) Big Battle! Guy is so excited to see his BFF alive! So John slugs him for becoming the leader of the Red Lanterns. Aaaaaand.... *Insert MORE Battle Scenes* Kyle makes...the ultimate sacrifice. *gasp* Turn the page. Oops! Kidding! Here comes Kyle popping outta the void! Shhhhh. We gotta keep that a secret from the rest of the corps! He's on a classified mission. Evidently for another DC Lantern title. Cause there's no such thing as too many Lantern titles in DC!
It eventually ends with Hal turning into a douche. He's going to Police the Universe and make sure nobody uses up the finite light/emotional Spectrum. Of course, to do that he'll be using up the Spectrum.
Ok. There must be some other titles or something that I'm missing, because there were a whole lotta WTF? moments for me in this. I mean, I read the previous volume. Where the hell did some of this stuff come from? When did Guy become the leader of the Red Lanterns? And is Carol in love with Kyle? Wha..? Kyle?! Maybe if she's thrown Hal over for John, I could get behind it a little more...but Kyle? Give me a break. His mask alone is dorky enough to send any woman screaming in the other direction. Although, $20 says that Hal misinterpreted her LURVE for him, and she probably just thinks of him like a brother or something.
Anyway, this volume seemed really looooong and drawn out for some reason. Like nobody could figure out a good stopping place for the story. So on one hand, you're definitely getting your money's worth. But one the other, it's mostly nonsensical filler.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for a digital arc of this title, in exchange for an honest review....more