I'm having such a hard time with how I feel about this book! I was looking for another fantasy/heist book like The Palace Jo2.5 stars...maybe a full 3?
I'm having such a hard time with how I feel about this book! I was looking for another fantasy/heist book like The Palace Job, and The Lies of Locke Lamora has so many great reviews that I thought it would be an easy win for me. Ehhh. Yes and no. But mostly no.
Let me be the first to admit that the problems I had with this one? Well, they might be exactly why every other reader loved it.
It took me forever to get through this. It felt like years went by while I tried to get to The Good Stuff. I know that a lot of you love books that give detailed descriptions of the character's surroundings. I know, I know, I know! Please, for the love of God, don't spam my review thread with your comments on how I just don't understand the beauty of the lush world Lynch built. I most certainly do understand, but I don't enjoy reading about what material a character's coat is made out of, unless it will somehow be relevant later on in the story. Here's my rule on this sort of thing: Unless the fact that the gently swaying purple flower's fragrance made WhoTheFuckEver do/say/remember something important that will move the plot forward? Well, then I don't even need to know that there was a fucking purple flower! And, yes, I do like the world I'm reading about to feel complete and real, but there's only so much I can (personally) take. This book tested my patience. There was so much...just irrelevant crap on every page that I started skimming in earnest by the 50% mark. I hate skimming, because I always think I'm going to miss something, but I had to do it, or I never would have finished. Another thing that bothered me were all the fucking flashbacks. Because EVERY TIME shit would start to get interesting, you'd have to go back and read about their childhoods. That would have been fine, if all of these flashbacks were interesting. They weren't. It was a 50/50 split between relevant stories of their past, and boring bullshit filler that had a speck of pertinent information.
So. The core of story is clever, funny, charming, heart-wrenching, and fun...once you scrape away about half of the words. I mean, the plot would easily have made this a 5 star book for me. EASILY! It's well-written, it's lovely, it made me feel things! But when I went to request the next book, I found myself sort of shuddering at the thought of slogging through any more of these guys' adventures.
I'm not the kind of reader who can truly enjoy this kind of book, but maybe you are? There are lots of glowing reviews for this one, so take my opinion with a grain of salt. ...more
If you don't have kids will you think this is funny? Hard to say. It's basically the companion to Go the Fuck to Sleep, which is a tongue-in-cheek bedtiIf you don't have kids will you think this is funny? Hard to say. It's basically the companion to Go the Fuck to Sleep, which is a tongue-in-cheek bedtime story for parents who are dealing with young children. Thankfully, all of mine are now old enough that I can actually just tell them to get the hell in bed and stay there...Or else. I no longer have to screw around and be nice about it. *insert evil laugh here* As far as getting them to eat? Been there. Done that. And this book brought back all the memories and frustrations beautifully! I (like the parent in the book) was convinced that if the child in question didn't eat, they'd...well, shrivel up and die, I guess. Until you're so sleep deprived (see: Go the Fuck to Sleep) that you can't see straight, you can't possibly understand the mindset that would allow you to imagine starvation as the outcome of a kid who is just a picky eater. A picky eater who doesn't actually need that many calories to survive. Seriously. It doesn't matter that your pediatrician has already told your stupid ass that if the kid gets hungry...they'll eat. I've done the Food Dance, and it ain't pretty. Most days, none of this MOM crap is very pretty. In fact, this is much closer to the reality of parenting than any of the What to Expect When You're...Whatever books. But. Children are worth it. *cough* Really. I mean it...
Fanfuckingtastic! I could totally slap myself for not reading this sooner.
The premise of this story is that Andy Dahl and a group of his fr4.5 stars
Fanfuckingtastic! I could totally slap myself for not reading this sooner.
The premise of this story is that Andy Dahl and a group of his friends, who all work aboard the starship Intrepid, start to notice a troubling pattern happening on the Away Missions. And they aren't the only ones who've noticed...
Does everyone know what a Redshirt is? On the off-chance you aren't a Star Trek fan, and maybe haven't been exposed to the term before, let me explain where it came from. On every mission, Captain Kirk, Spock, Bones, etc. would get beamed to some uncharted planet to discover...something. But, of course, our main characters never beamed anywhere by themselves. Not really . They always took Ensign So-n-So (wearing his red shirt) with them. And, inevitably, Ensign Redshirt ended up as cannon fodder.
Death by exploding rock!
So, after watching the show for any length of time, you knew what was going to eventually happen to anyone who happened to be wearing the wrong color in an uncharted area of space.
Death by zappy-beam!
Which is hilarious when you're watching re-runs and playing a drinking game! But maybe it wouldn't quite so funny if the Redshirts were real characters? Although, I laughed my ass off at Andy and his friends the entire time I was reading this, so that blows that theory right out of the water.
I wasn't all that surprised that I thought this was funny, but I was really surprised that I was totally invested in the plot. And there is a plot! A really good one! And the ENDING! I did not see that twist coming, Mr. Scalzi. Well done, sir! Alright, so what happens is...(view spoiler)[hahahahahahahaha. No. I'm not telling you anything. Go get this book if you wanna find out what makes this story so special. (hide spoiler)]
I've been in the mood for fun books lately, and this one certainly fit the bill. But. I feel the need to address this awful cover.
Now maybe you3.5 stars
I've been in the mood for fun books lately, and this one certainly fit the bill. But. I feel the need to address this awful cover.
Now maybe you can't see it very well, so I've taken the liberty of blowing it up for you just a bit. Although, I have to say, even blowing it up to that size doesn't do it justice. The picture below actually looks much cooler than the book I'm staring at right now. For one thing, when you're holding the book, it looks like the dude's eyes are crossed. I even went so far as to try and look up alternate editions online, to try and get the bad taste out of my mouth, but this is apparently the Cover of Choice. *shudder*
Whyyyyyyy?! I had the paperback version, so that visual was what greeted me every time I started to read. And, at first, I thought that maybe it was published 20 years ago or something...but, no! 2013! It's like some straight guy who still listens to a lot of Bon Jovi on the weekend designed this. Because in his mind, this is an attractive and/or badass look that would lure in the female readers. Ugh. P.S. Jon said he wanted his jacket back when you're done, Charming. (view spoiler)[ (hide spoiler)]
Well, whoever you are...Great Job!
Alright, fine. I'm a cover whore, and I'll admit I've spent too much time ranting about this one. But in my defense, the cover so ugly it made me slightly crazy(er).
And here's where the saying Don't Judge a Book By It's Cover comes into play. The actual story wasn't anything incredibly new, but I loved the tone of the book. It's a fast-paced urban fantasy with an extremely likable lead character, and the dialogue had me smiling for the entire book. And John Charming's inner monologue was surprisingly funny! Now I always hate it when reviewers rave about how funny a book was, and then when I read it, I feel totally betrayed. As in: How the fuck could someone think drunk chicks giggling over a dildo like 12 year old girls is all that funny? Well, we all have different ideas about what makes something humorous, right? So in an effort to help others avoid making a mistake, I'll add in the first paragraph of the prelude below. Then you can decide for yourself if it makes you giggle.
There's a reason that we refer to being in love as being enchanted. Think back to the worst relationship you've ever been in: the one where your family and friends tried to warn you that the person you were with was cheating on you, or partying a little too much, or a control freak, or secretly gay, or whatever. Remember how you were convinced that no one but you could see the real person beneath that endearingly flawed surface? And then later, after the relationship reached that scorched-earth-policy stage where letters were being burned and photos were being cropped, did you find yourself looking back and being amazed at how obvious the truth had been all along? Did it feel as if you were waking up from some kind of spell?
Now, see, that paragraph made me do this:
But maybe you felt more like this:
Well, now the decision is in your hands! My only recommendation is to either get the digital version, or perhaps tape brown paper over the cover of the book. Bonus points if you have an especially crafty grandmother who like to crochet!
She put her free hand to her face to rub her eyes in exasperation, but she smelled her scent on her fingers again. Dammit. Masturba5% into the book...
She put her free hand to her face to rub her eyes in exasperation, but she smelled her scent on her fingers again. Dammit. Masturbating in her sleep again.
Um. I'm going to put this one down now.
And I did... But I'm not quitter, dammit! So I re-downloaded this sucker from the library a few days ago and finished it. Why? Well, it was recommended to me by my good pal, Sara, so I wanted to give it a fair shake. In her defense, she recommended the series to me, because I enjoyed Laurenston's Dragon Kin stuff that she writes under the name G A Aiken. But since I'm an ass, I'm also going to have to point out that some of the descriptions of the sexy stuff kind of made my nose wrinkle and my gag reflex kick in just a bit. Now, I'm not blaming you, Sara, but I'm going to have to toss out an example here. *clears throat*
"He needed to know this was what she really wanted. She ran her small hand across his jaw and down his neck."
I know what you're thinking. This doesn't sound so bad, right? Wait for it...
"Then, slowly, leaned forward and began to lick her juices off his mouth and chin."
I guess I'm just a prude, but I don't wanna read a sentence like that ever again. Ewwww! Ewwww! Who does that?! Licks her juices off his mouth and chin... GAK! GAK! GAAAAAK!
Ok. I'm in my Happy Place now, and everything is all better. And really, other than a few really squicky lines like that, I actually liked this book. In fact, I'm kind of interested in reading the rest of the series. Apparently, these Packs and Prides are all fighting over something, and it got pretty interesting there before big showdown. Also, I like the OCD wolf-guy that we meet toward the end of this book, so I'm thinking I may go back and read book one to find out what the story is between him and his wife. So, yeah, believe it or not, I had fun reading this one. I'm not going to go out on a limb and recommend Go Fetch! to any of my friends like Juicy-Chin-Sara (as she will now forever be known) did, but I'm probably going to read this rest of these. It was an overall fun and fluffyish PNR!
Not quite as super-funny as some of the other installments, but still excellent!
M'kay. Not to poop on the parade, but I had to do some mental editingNot quite as super-funny as some of the other installments, but still excellent!
M'kay. Not to poop on the parade, but I had to do some mental editing when it came to our hero. Let me explain why.. Gwenvael has long blonde hair. Now, when I think of long blonde hair on men my mind wanders into two distinctly different directions.
B) I Can't Believe It's Not Butter
Alrighty, it's not just long blonde hair, though. Gwenvael is described as having blonde hair that comes below his knees. To me, this isn't sexy.
So. I very quickly pulled out my 'mental scissors' and gave that boy a trim. You're welcome.
And now that I had my Gwenvael, I could let the lust-fest begin. Oh, and also focus on the person that I really wanted to read about, Dagamr Reinholdt. Dagmar has always been one of my favorite characters in the other books, so finally getting a chance to read her backstory was awesome! She was just as impressively devilish as I thought she'd be, and seeing how Gwenvael the Handsome won her over was pretty entertaining. Dagmar (for those of you who don't know) is usually referred to as The Beast, and considered one of the most dangerous people to cross in the Dragon Kin series. Even the dragons are afraid of her, but not because she's the least bit physically frightening. Nope. She's one of those cold, calculating schemers that topples kingdoms (and evil sister-in-laws) without ever breaking a sweat.
So how does an apparently air-headed pretty boy win over a lady like that? Well, you've gotta read the book! Duh....more
LOVED THIS! LOVED IT! I laughed, and laughed, and laughed, and then I laughed some more. Sooooo good! I have to say that I understand why some people foLOVED THIS! LOVED IT! I laughed, and laughed, and laughed, and then I laughed some more. Sooooo good! I have to say that I understand why some people found this book (Drew's voice in particular) offensive, rude, and obnoxious. He's a self-centered man-whore, and his inner thoughts are not even slightly redeeming. We first meet him while he's getting a BJ from a random redhead in a bathroom, and his immediate thoughts are only how quickly he can extract himself from her, and move on to the next good time. Because why in the world would he have sex with the same woman twice? Hang on. Did she just say she had a twin? Aaaaand we're back in business! Is Drew honest, or is he just a horrible person? Maybe a little bit of both. Thing is, I married a guy who sounds just like Drew. 14 years later, I'm used to that particular brand of honesty, so it cracked me up on several different levels. However, if you don't like leading men who aren't PC, then you'll want to steer clear of this one, because this guy is guaranteed to offend you. I get it, I do. It's just that my husband has used the excuse 'because I'm not a giant vagina' to get out of doing so many things with me, that I'm desensitized to it. At any rate, I loved Drew and Kate's story, and I can see myself coming back and revisiting this book over and over again.
This a typical romance in that Drew is unbelievably sexy, unbelievably rich, and unbelievably skilled with women. I should be annoyed with his lack of Real-World issues, but this was funny enough that I managed to over look his...lack of flaws, I guess? Tangled is one of those stories that I just chalked up to complete fantasy, and decided not to let my sensible side squish the fun.
Mild Spoilers Ahead:
Here's what I thought the author did right: First, when Drew realizes he's in love, he doesn't run off and deny it. It doesn't make sense when they have characters do that, you know? If you're in love, you act the fool. You do the whole embarrassing PDA stuff, you talk about them until your friends want to strangle you, and you otherwise just act all goofy and stupid. You don't run off. Not even relationship-shy dudes. I think that's something certain people tell themselves when their love interest runs for the hills. Oh, they're just scared of their feelings! Ehhh. I think they just don't like you. Maybe I'm wrong. I'm not. Second, it takes Kate a reasonable amount of convincing to take Drew back at the end. I know that some of you are probably thinking she took him back too soon, but let's face it, she was crazy about him. If you already want to believe someone, then it doesn't usually take much for them to convince you of something. She hung in there longer than I would have...
I'm not sure how I missed out on this little gem, but I'm sure glad I found it. If you haven't read this one yet, you need to check it out!
I LOVE THESE BOOKS! Love them! Violent characters, funny dialogue, and silly situations...what's not to like? But first, you've gotta forget that you reaI LOVE THESE BOOKS! Love them! Violent characters, funny dialogue, and silly situations...what's not to like? But first, you've gotta forget that you read that blurb. It's a somewhat accurate description of a teeny tiny bit of the book. Celyn and Elina are the romantic lead in this one, but there is so much more going on between the pages! And all of our favorite characters from the past books are back! ALL OF THEM! I think I'm already going a little crazy with the exclamation points. Maybe? Just a bit?
ATTENTION! This is a Big Deal: You've really gotta read these in order. This may seem like PNR about some hot dragon shape-shifters, but these aren't just self-contained lurve stories that happen to be set in the same world. There's stuff! Important battles, plots, and stuff that you've got to already know about. Or, at least, you'll wish you knew about. There's more than just raunchy sex with a lizard between these pages, ladies! Evil witches, poisonous princesses, and children who plot to kill their parents... And then there's also the bad guys! If you've had the pleasure of reading any of these books, then you know that the heroes and heroines are all kind of morally iffy. This book is no exception. In fact, there's a scene that involves Elina's evil mother, an axe, and the Mad Queen Annwyl that I simply can't get out of my mind. *winces...crosses legs* But there's a lot of humor to go with all blood, gore, and sex. I had forgotten how funny these books were until I found myself giggle-snorting through the majority of this one. I don't want to spoil anything for fans of the series, but it looks like there are some BIG changes on the horizon, and quite a few of them involve those crazy Abominations. *flails wildly* As I mentioned, everyone shows up in this one...including the children! *deep breath* Obviously, this isn't going to be something that everyone is going to love, but if you like PNR that doesn't take it'self too seriously, then this is a series you might like. And if you like mean, self-centered, obnoxious, violent, characters, as well? Then you need to check these out. Now.
Light My Fire was another hilarious installment in Aiken's Dragon Kin world, and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. Seriously! Go get it!
Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for a digital arc, in exchange for an honest review.
Surprisingly good book, especially considering I don't normally tend to like Chick-Lit! In fact, all of the problems I normally have with this genre...aren't there. There's no obnoxious friend that I want the heroine to kick to the curb. But normally the MC just listens to their horrible advice and smiles... There's no awful passive-aggressive family that needs to be put in their place. But normally the MC just coasts through the story oblivious... Miss Spelled features a likable heroine, an awesome I'll-Help-You-Hide-The-Body best friend, and a family who (although not perfect) are supportive and loving.
Bonus? It's funny! And not in that stupid 'Tee-Hee! Let's get drunk and talk about vibrators!' kind of way. This one actually made me laugh out loud (or as the kids say...LOL) a few times.
The best part was that I was totally wrong about how the story would play out. Read the blurb, and then tell me if this isn't what you would assume is going to happen: Aidan isn't really Mr. Perfect, and Lou finds out that maybe Hunter is the man she was supposed to end up with. At the end, Lou finds a way to reverse the spell and win Aidan back...only to realize that what she REALLY wants isn't so clear-cut. 'Cause that's The Formula that I've come to count on when I read these books. I'm not going to even hint around at what actually happens in this one, because half of the reason I liked this so much was due to the way it unfolded. But. The premise (while maybe not terribly original) is this: What if you went back and erased your biggest mistake? In Lou's case, it's the relationship she had with a philandering asshole, who turns out to be her fiancee's worst enemy. She tries to convince Hunter not to reveal their past relationship, but the visit turns into a debacle that could ruin her relationship with Aidan. Desperate, and low on options, she follows the advice of her best friend and buys a magic spell off of the internet. The spell is supposed to erase her from Hunter's mind, but by not following the instructions that came with the spell, she ends up doing more than that.
Alright. I'm sure I'm not the only person who's thought that things would be better if only I hadn't done that One Thing. And, of course, if I had a time machine, I could change it! Except. When I really think about it, if I hadn't done A, I wouldn't have ended up at the corner of B, which led to C Street. When I tried to cross C street, I got hit by a semi. That sorta sucked, and I had to go to D for extensive rehab on my legs. I stayed at D until I could walk again, and when I could, I found a job at E. The job at E was almost as bad as the rehab, but I met a nice guy named F there. He was blown away by my sheer awesomeness, and 13 years later... F, G, H, J, K, and I are quite happy together. Ok, you see my point. It's not just the things you did right, that led you to the things you couldn't live without. And that's what Lou finds out, too.
It's a fun, funny, light-hearted romance...with just a hint of magic. Ladies and gentlemen, Anne has found a Chick-Lit WINNER!
I received a digital arc from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review....more
I had to read this one to my 6 year old in the library the other day. Which was kind of embarrassing, since she requires me to do the voices when I reaI had to read this one to my 6 year old in the library the other day. Which was kind of embarrassing, since she requires me to do the voices when I read. But it's all for the Greater Good, right? Right?
Anyhoo, Monster Mash was a riveting addition to the Babymouse library. Really.
Our intrepid hero must decide if it's better to Be Yourself or to be one of the cool kids. In the end, she decides she's rather be cool. Kidding! She finds out that it's not much fun pretending to like stuff that you don't, and she kicks the Mean Girls to the curb.
We clapped at the end! Well, we made quiet clappy hands. After all, we were at the library!...more
Deadpool is fun when he's visiting other titles, but I guess I'm not into his solo stuff. Some of it was funny, but after a while (a very short while)Deadpool is fun when he's visiting other titles, but I guess I'm not into his solo stuff. Some of it was funny, but after a while (a very short while) the jokes wore thin. Maybe it's just the wrong kind of humor for a mature woman, such as myself. However. My 14 year old son loved it! So. This has potential. I mean, anything to get kids to read, right?
There's not much of plot to explain. Deadpool Kills Deadpool is the entire storyline in a nutshell.
There's lots of cameo appearances by alternate Deadpools to keep the story lively. Pandapool, Dogpool, Kidpool, Girlpool (or was it Lady Deadpool?), and manymanymany others!
If you don't like it, give it to a teenage boy in your neighborhood. 2 stars from my point of view, 4 from my kid's point of view. I settled on 3.
This was a load of silly fun to read, and I loved it! The Book of Bart isn't exactly filled with High Humor, so if yAlso reviewed for Addicted2Heroines
This was a load of silly fun to read, and I loved it! The Book of Bart isn't exactly filled with High Humor, so if you don't think fart jokes are funny, this may not be for you. Also, it's highly irreverent and has the potential to offend multitudes of religious readers. But, seriously? I wouldn't think fans of 700 Club are going to look at this, and think this is their next Must-Read anyway. Although, the guy on the cover bears a striking resemblance to Pat Robertson.... Huh.
Is there a good solid plot to this? Absolutely(ish)! An angel and a demon go to high school. Haven't I read that one before, you ask? Uh, not like this, you haven't. This isn't a young adult novel about defying the odds and finding Twue Wuv. Sorry, kids, this one is for mature audiences only.
The appeal isn't in the setting, it's in the goofy tongue-in-cheek writing style. This is not a story about a reluctant Fallen Angel who redeems himself. This revolves around an obnoxious demon who thoroughly enjoys the role he plays in corrupting souls. He's a self-centered, belligerent, intolerant, asshole...with a penchant for deflowering virgins. Think: Satanic unicorn.
After an unsuccessful attempt to take over the other Land Down Under, Bart's been stuck in the ass-rapey prison part of Hell. And as enjoyable as that might sound, he'd really like to square things with the Big Guy Downstairs, so he can get back to earth...and into one of his designer suits. Or maybe even a young unsullied brunette?
The book starts when an unknown benefactor springs him from the Pokey *snicker* on a work-release program, of sorts. But before Bart can enjoy his new-found freedom, he finds out that the terms of his parole may be worse than anything he could have imagined. See, he's been loaned out to the Other team. Now he's stuck with an Angel-In-Training and an inept Demon Hunter as partners, while they attempt to *gag*Save the World. Or something equally offensive.
I snickered and smiled my way through the whole thing. Yeah, once or twice the jokes veered off into Over-The-Top-Land, but it didn't take away from my enjoyment. At. All. Or let me put it this way: I started it yesterday afternoon, and didn't put it down until I finished. If you get a chance, don't pass this one up!
Big Thanks to the publisher for a digital copy in exchange for an honest review. Another BIG THANKS to Shelby...and her Flying Monkeys for bringing this book to my attention with her review. Thanks to her, I couldn't shake the image of Doogie Howser when I pictured Bart....more
Volume 2 seems to be a bit more full of catch-up information than actual plot, but I still had a good time with it. You find out the origin stories of Scott (or Spot) the were-terrier, and also Gwen's ghostly BFF, Ellie. It even has a tidbit or two about Gwen's family...but still no info on how she ended up eating cold brains to survive. As the title suggests, the fem-vamps make another appearance, and their origin story is revealed as well. Remember the evil vampire who had impulse control issues? Well, it looks like getting staked by the Hunters last time around didn't quite put her out of commission. She ends up getting revived by... *thunder rumbles* The Bride of Frankenstein! And now she's Frankie's drug mule. Just roll with it, it sort of makes sense later on. Oh, and her real name is Galatea, but that just doesn't sound as cool as... *thunder rumbles* The Bride of Frankenstein!
In a twist of fate, Gwen's monthly brain ends up belonging to an old childhood friend's mother. And mama had some issues with her daughter that she needs Gwen's help with. Also, since Gwen can see her younger self in some of this lady's memories, it brings up some serious questions about how much Gwen is starting to forget about her own past. Dun, Dun, Duuuun!
Which brings us to Amon. He's got a fix for Gwen's dwindling memories, but she thinks the cure may be worse than the disease. Although, she might have no choice but to cross that line in the sand, in order to keep herself from turning into the classic mindless zombie. Besides trying to recruit Gwen to the Dark side of the Force (if in fact, that's what he actually trying to do), Amon is also helping Ellie learn to become a better ghost. With a little help, she's now able to posses bodies, and travel farther than she ever dreamed possible. And that's like, her biggest dream...evah! But you must read the above mentioned Ellie Origin Story for the full details.
Gwen still has it bad for Horatio (the sexy monster hunter), and she succumbs to his charms after dinner and some putt-putt golf. After all, what girl can resist a man after he takes her on the Mini-Golf Date?! Seriously. Is there some handbook out there that claims tiny windmills will make our panties fall off? It's hot, sticky, and you end up hunched over a stick. All while trying to get a neon pink ball into a insane-looking clown's mouth. Not. Sexy. But this doesn't deter Gwen in the slightest. She's finally ready to get her undead groove on, and the fact that Horatio does't realize that she's a zombie is only a slight kink in the plan.
I'm still liking this one quite a bit. It doesn't take itself too seriously, and there's enough mysteries playing in the background to keep me interested in seeing where this goes. ...more
This was fluffy for a story about a zombie. Really fluffy. So if you don't think fluffy and zombie belong in the saAlso reviewed for Addicted2Heroines
This was fluffy for a story about a zombie. Really fluffy. So if you don't think fluffy and zombie belong in the same sentence together...move on. I am personally a big fan of Fluff. I wallow in the shallow and the silly. And if it's fun, I'll willingly accept plot holes and inconsistencies. What can I say, it's part of my charm?
Gwen is a zombie. But she's a cute zombie, not to be confused with the nasty rotting corpses that you see shambling around on tv. The only catch to her immortality is that she has to eat a brain once a month. Now, in order to do that she's taken up a job as a gravedigger. Who digs graves with SHOVELS anymore? I mean, don't they have backhoes or something that do that? What year is this set in anyway? See? This a plot hole that others might complain about. Not me...OTHERS. Unfortunately, once she chows down on their braaaaains Gwen get stuck with that person's memories for a while. And the last guy she ate was done in by a serial killer. Gwen the Avenging Zombie! With the help of her BFF the ghost and a Were-Terrier who has a crush on her, she sets out to find out what happened to the nice man that she ate.
But that's not all! There's also a group of hot vampire chicks that run a late-nite paintball service, and a smexy monster hunter who thinks Gwen is awfully sweet. Does he not notice that she's got a blue tinge to her skin? How does a Monster Hunter miss that little tidbit, I wonder? Again, OTHERS might point that out as a inconsistency in the story...but not me. I just roll with that shit, baby! So the fem-vamps inadvertently attracted the attention of this ancient group of Hunters. These gals as a whole seem pretty benign, because they only take little sips of of their paint-balling clients. And really, if someone deserves to bleed, it's grown men shooting themselves with paint...don'tcha think? Unfortunately, there was this one rogue diva who decided to go all Suck 'em Dry!...totally against the advice of the leader. Tsk. There's always that one Creature of the Night that won't get in line! Cute-Hunter-Guy and Gwen literally bump into each other outside a dinner, and the sparks start flying. Until she figures out what he does for a living, at least. At that point, she thinks it may be time to reevaluate her priorities when it comes to relationships. For example, survival is good. And dating someone sworn to snuff out your existence may not be the right path to choose.
The main story, however, is about finding the serial killer. It was surprisingly different than I imagined, and I'm looking forward to reading volume 2! ...more
Loved this! So I read this on Jeff's recommendation. See, he wrote a review for another book by this guy called Tourist Season. And in his review he haLoved this! So I read this on Jeff's recommendation. See, he wrote a review for another book by this guy called Tourist Season. And in his review he had the nerve to call people from Florida 'loopy'. Well, I grew up in that lovely state, and I'm normal...right? Hmmm. It got me thinking. So I asked one of my friends. The conversation went like this: Me:You don't think I'm weird because I'm from Florida, do you? Them: Remember last summer? Me: Yeah? Them: Remember when you killed that snake? Me: The copperhead? Yeah, so? Them: I've just never seen anybody chop off a snake's head with kitchen shears before... Me: Oh. Well, my mom always used to keep a machete by the front door, but my husband put ours in the upstairs closet somewhere. Ha! I remember this time when a moccasin got in our house, and she pinned it to the couch with that machete and then cut it's head off with a steak knife! wipes a tear Good times... Them: Um. Seriously? Me: Well, it's not like she could shoot it! Them: A machete?! Why do you have a machete?! Me: Are you seriously saying you don't have a machete? Them: .... I think you've answered your own original question.
So. Maybe there are a few things I do differently. And maybe it comes from being raised in the Sunshine State. Who can really say?
Anyhoo. This book was so much fun to read! You can definitely tell the author is from Florida, because he describes it perfectly. I was so homesick by the time I got done, I couldn't stand it. I can almost taste the humidity just thinking about it! sigh
Joey and Chaz go on a cruise for their 2 year wedding anniversary. Which is so romantic! Except Chaz is a douche. And he shoves his wife overboard. Why? Well, you really need to read the book to find that out, and I'm not going to spoil it. But let's just say that he's incredibly stupid. And unlucky. Because Joey doesn't drown or get eaten by sharks. Nope, Joey floats to safety on a bail of pot, and then gets fished out of the water by Mick. Of course, hanging on to a bail of weed in the middle of the ocean gives a girl a lot of time to think about her questionable choice in men. It also gives a girl a lot of time to get pissed off. So, while going to the police might be the sane thing to do... Doesn't revenge sound so much better?
I lovedlovedloved all of the characters in Skinny Dip, but Tool was probably my favorite. He's horrible, disgusting, and awesome all rolled into one. Read the book for Tool's sake, if nothing else!
I don't normally read books like this one, but I'm glad I stepped out of my box for a few days. Thank you, Jeff! ...more
Grabbed this when it was free on Amazon the other day, because it looked cute.
Sort of a Bridget Jones-like vibe to it. If you enjoyed that then you'llGrabbed this when it was free on Amazon the other day, because it looked cute.
Sort of a Bridget Jones-like vibe to it. If you enjoyed that then you'll probably like this one. It's not a copycat story or anything, but it has the same sort of feel. Sophie is in her early 30's, British, feels she's a few pounds overweight, and has a piss-poor lovelife. Although, it's hard to feel sorry for her since it's her own fault. Not the part about being British. Poor thing can't help where she was born after all... Kidding! Her boyfriend dumps her in the opening pages, and she spends great gobs of time trying to win him back. Even though she knows he's a useless dick. He rekindles his interest in her when she informs him that she's going to inherit a house and some money. And she knows that's why he's sniffing around again. But she thinks she can prove to him that she's awesome or something? I didn't get it. I honestly can't fathom being that desperate. I'd rather be alone than with a douchebag who comments on my weight, and continually 'forgets' his wallet. But..whatever. I guess there are women out there somewhere who can relate? I just... Ugh.
Her two roommates/BFFs are also massive tools. If I had to live with bitches that annoying, I'd probably be in jail. I kept waiting for the moment when Sophie would realize that these chicks were soul-sucking harpies, but it never happened. So again, I couldn't relate. They were obnoxious, and I would have kicked them to the curb a long time ago.
Her mother was the most obvious twat in the bunch, but at least there was some amount of retribution for that toward the end. Not enough, but some.
The love story thing between Sophie and Nick was...pretty bland. Why did they like each other anyway? Boring relationships is one of the reasons I don't normally gravitate toward chick-lit. But if you're a fan of this genre, you'll probably have no problem with the way it all plays out.
I did giggle quite a bit while I was reading, so this wasn't a waste of my time. It had a cute plot, witty dialogue, and funny situations. Not bad considering this isn't what I normally go for.