Pradžioje puiki, vėliau kiek atlėgsta. Skaičiau skolintą, ir net sunku pasakyti, ar išties labiau skirta psichologijos neišmanantiems, bet besidominti...morePradžioje puiki, vėliau kiek atlėgsta. Skaičiau skolintą, ir net sunku pasakyti, ar išties labiau skirta psichologijos neišmanantiems, bet besidomintiems (ar jie tiesiog vistiek nesuprastų). Spėju, kad vėliau skaitys Mama. Spėju, kad supyks ant to, kas ten yra. Ir tai bus gerai.(less)
I'll just leave a quote that attests to the value of this book:
"Nowadays, getting out of the way—making sure it’s not about me—is easier in some ways...moreI'll just leave a quote that attests to the value of this book:
"Nowadays, getting out of the way—making sure it’s not about me—is easier in some ways and harder in others. I asked my daughter, as I was writing this, in what ways I had sometimes failed and what she needed from me now, as she approached twenty-one. Her answer had all the clarity of truth: “I need you to simply keep accepting me as who I am, and to support my actions as I come into my own light. I sometimes feel that you expect me to react to situations in the same way you do, and that I sometimes fall short.”(less)
**spoiler alert** This is the August read for the Ladies & Literature group. A great choice. It's a perfect divorce-busting novel.
And it re-broke...more**spoiler alert** This is the August read for the Ladies & Literature group. A great choice. It's a perfect divorce-busting novel.
And it re-broke my heart. Better be careful before picking it up if you had a divorce/breakup that you did not want to happen, especially if you did not get enough time to get back onto your feet after the world had disappeared under you. And for some, a lifetime seems not to be enough: I recognised myself in Frannie a lot. Though her beau died, which, some psychologists explain, is easier to live with. Also, had Alice and Nick had no children, she would have had zero rights/chances to approach him for "trying again" (right?! It's the societal rules! The civility!). This is bitter of me, but I kept thinking about it throughout the book. At least their making up in the book was not a straightforward business. Apparently it took many years.
When life turns in awful ways, and something hopeful, a life's biggest bet, shatters... Do you happen to know by experience what the traumatic flashbacks of conversations in your mind are? Mine were quiet for at least two years. This book brought them back. Hopefully, in a good way. Also, that they are not to stay. I don't know what else to say. I think I'll be packing a copy with wedding gifts, every wedding to attend. And the next one is of my Australian friends!(less)
This was great. The ending was perfect. I loved loved loved the two-person voice here. The author's personality, it seems, shone through these three b...moreThis was great. The ending was perfect. I loved loved loved the two-person voice here. The author's personality, it seems, shone through these three books, and it made me want to be a better person. Again, very therapeutic and hopeful, but a bit lacking in realism (I know I know!): I do not really imagine anybody that messed up to have access to that much outside heartfelt support. (less)
Reading into friendship in this novel is something that should be a must for parents-and-children, courting couples, married c...moreSuch a THERAPEUTIC read.
Reading into friendship in this novel is something that should be a must for parents-and-children, courting couples, married couples, educators, authorities, lawyers, single people, psychologists in charge of support groups... and an absolute necessity for those who have/had someone with narcissistic personality disorder in their lives. Since no matter how beautiful the support and friendship in this novel are, it also passes the unrelenting message: abuse never stops, it only escalates.
And yet the emotional maturity of teenagers in this novel is just not credible. It's too good to be true. I could expect that much of very few people in their 50ies or 60ies to have accumulated wisdom through their lifetime of experiences but not 16 or 17 year olds. If it matters, I'm double that age, and I don't think I've met them. Yet. (less)
So after reading about the new findings in the area of #PTSD in a recent article by Scientific American (http://bit.ly/TCGzHM), I said to myself it's...moreSo after reading about the new findings in the area of #PTSD in a recent article by Scientific American (http://bit.ly/TCGzHM), I said to myself it's time to better enlighten myself on practicioners' perpective on post-traumatic stress. After all, all I had so far known was that it responds to cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) long-term and that there is an 'inoculation' against flashbacks: it's called Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) —and playing Tetris is, in fact and a bit surprisingly, close to emulating EMDR (http://huff.to/11jV5uj).
And yet besides the "mechanics" of PTS' management, the sufferer is a miserable human being most of the time. It is also one of the most "unfair" malaises, as PTS is something that was entirely done to you by the others. It's not your fault. And it's something that we as society have very little understanding of.
Though I am a patron at Karolinska Institute's library (where there is a number of heavy resources: http://bit.ly/QXvfe4), I started with a pop-sy book: The PTSD Breakthrough, by Frank Lawlis. It definitely has its crazy moments that undermine the credibility of the entire book (for instance, it recommends oral chelation and coffee enemas; SERIOUSLY?!). And yet on the other hand, it is not as detached and pathway-mechanistic as the usual CBT would be. I found it very good at arguing the theory that in PTS, there is a sort of reparable brain "hardware" damage, whereas usually we tend to see psychological distress as a mix of 1) emotional malfunction (negative self-talk vis-a-vis a crisis), 2) chemical malfunction (the dopamine/serotonin story).
Lawlis gives a gentle introduction into brain's neuroplasticity, and bases his further explanation on it (out of all links in this post, this is the most worthy of attention: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neuropla...). The brain neuroplasticity perspective was the most valuable that the book offered; things like disorientation, loss of memory, under-performing make sense when "misaligned" neurons are taken into account. PTS is, in a way, a massive strike of workers in the Brain Factory (my interpretation, not Lawlis'). Lawlis then follows up with multiple alternatives of receiving help—both from working with therapists but also DIY.
For finals, an excerpt. I think it defines PTS very well (tough-love but hopeful and instructive):
(...) injured and possibly devastated by an event that was perpetrated by some other person, either intentionally or accidentally. And because of that fact you were defined as being a victim. You may be the victim of a war event, a rape, a terrible crash of some sort, or any number of horrible situations no person would choose. This set of events places you in the role of sufferer. You, therefore, have a direct cause you can point to for your damages. And if you cannot find a resolution to these damages yourself, you can take it out on the world, right? No. You instead need to have your internal compass reset to your true north. I realize that you were traumatized in some event that left you vulnerable and at least a little off track from your life plan. And it may not seem fair to ask you to leave that all behind, to have to take on the work of recovery when you didn’t cause the problem in the first place. But when you get to the end of the line, you will find positives in taking on that change, and you are the only one who can do it. (pages 155 – 156).(less)