I first heard about Jamie Tworkowski from my friend Isa, after she shared with me this quote:
Don't get me wrong. It's not that i don't like love. i lo
I first heard about Jamie Tworkowski from my friend Isa, after she shared with me this quote:
Don't get me wrong. It's not that i don't like love. i love love - i think it's the best thing that happens on the planet. It's the biggest dream inside me. But i bought a lie somewhere along the way. i bought the lie that says i'm not alive if i'm not in love. i bought the lie that says if i love someone but then they stop loving me or they start loving someone else, then i must have no value or power or worth. i bought the lie that says if i'm not in love, then i'm as good as dead.
I had no idea who he was until then, until I found out that he is the founder of To Write Love On Her Arms (TWLOHA), "...an American non-profit organization that aims to to present hope for people struggling with addiction, depression, self-injury and thoughts of suicide while also investing directly into treatment and recovery." ((Source: Wikipedia)) I found out about TWLOHA back in college, I think, because some of my favorite bands (Switchfoot, Anberlin, Dave Barnes, Matt Wertz, etc) support the organization. That's the most that I knew about Jamie and TWLOHA, and I was vaguely aware that there was a book coming out. When I received an email from the publicist asking if I wanted to review the book, I immediately said yes because if most of the book contained nuggets of wisdom like that quote that Isa shared to me last time, then I definitely want to read this book.
If You Feel Too Much is, at its core, a collection of Jamie Tworkowski's blog entries through the years. The topics range from work, family, friendships, romance, love, addiction, depression, self-injury, and brokenness. That's a lot to digest, but since these came from blog entries, they're really easy to read. If you're reading this as a memoir with a chronology of events, you might get a bit disappointed because some of the chapters feel a little bit disjointed, and sometimes some of them seemed to carry the same thought. Some of them may even be seem too short, but that's easy to overlook because the everything here is full of heart. More than being readable, this book is super relatable. It doesn't matter if the context of the entry is different - there's some sort of universal truth that makes the reader connect to the things you read in this book.
Jamie's thoughts focused a lot on reaching out, on being a friend, on opening up to people and offering love. Inversely, he also talked about how if we don't have the strength to reach out and to offer love, then it's okay. We don't have to be strong all the time -- sometimes, we need to be on the receiving end, too. If You Feel Too Much does not just tell its readers that we are not alone, but more importantly, we all have a part to play in this life. As Sierra De Mulder (who was mentioned in the book, too) wrote: your voice is someone's favorite voice, your face is someone's favorite face.
If You Feel Too Muchis all about the pain and beauty and loss and hope that makes up our being human. If you feel too much, too, then this is the book for you. Read it all in one sitting, or read it bit by bit - if only to remind yourself of the truths that we often forget about ourselves.
If you feel too much, don't go.
You are not alone in these places.
Other people feel how you feel.
You are more than just your pain. You are more than wounds, more than drugs, more than death and silence.
I think it's just about showing up. I think it's about choosing people when people are just hard to choose. I think it's about saying things we know w
I think it's just about showing up. I think it's about choosing people when people are just hard to choose. I think it's about saying things we know we will regret if we don't say them sooner. Fighting hard for the people who make us feel like they've swept all the oxygen out of the room. I think it's about remembering to commit to the small things. And remembering that love still wins. No matter how much we try to say that something else matters more than it, love still wins.
Borrowed this from a good friend's shelf, and read it under a deadline. These kinds of books should not have a deadline because it needs to be read slBorrowed this from a good friend's shelf, and read it under a deadline. These kinds of books should not have a deadline because it needs to be read slowly and savored, understood and pondered for all the little nuggets of wisdom that Rilke dispenses. I found it not just wise, but also comforting, and somehow reading this relieves me of the stresses of everyday life. That's why by the end of the book, I decided that I'd want to have a copy of this for myself, if only to dog-ear and highlight my own copy, so I'd remember the words that I want to remember, and read them whenever I need them. :)
This in the end is the only kind of courage that is required of us: the courage to face the strangest, most unusual, most inexplicable experiences that can meet us....more
Because there are no mere coincidences in the plans of God, each member of the Church has been chosen for such a time as this. There is no need to feaBecause there are no mere coincidences in the plans of God, each member of the Church has been chosen for such a time as this. There is no need to fear Christ and his plan for each of us. We only need to trust in Divine Mercy and love what Saint John Paul loved, most especially young people, human love, the Most Blessed Sacrament, our Lady, and the cross.
As expected, I was in tears by the time I finished this book. St. John Paul the Great, thank you. And please always pray for us. :")
Let us go forth full of trust in Christ. He will accompany us as we journey toward the goal that He alone knows....more
I've seen Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? by Mindy Kaling on blogs since last year, I think, but I didn't pick it up because I wasn't a huge fan oI've seen Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? by Mindy Kaling on blogs since last year, I think, but I didn't pick it up because I wasn't a huge fan of memoirs. Plus, I didn't really know who Mindy Kaling was. I only watched a few episodes of The Office, and not enough about her, and there was only one episode of The Mindy Project that I watched for #romanceclass. For some reason, I started reading more non-fiction books and memoirs this year, and after reading a comment from a friend on Facebook about this book, I finally decided to pick it up. I wasn't planning to read it immediately, but then I decided to scan through the first pages...then I started laughing. And I was hooked.
Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? talks about Mindy's experiences and observations about life -- and by that, I meant she talked about a lot of things: from friendships to her parents, to her ethnicity, school, fashion, weight, and her work as a writer. There's also a bit about romance, Irish exits (so that's what this means!), and comedies. Not knowing much about Mindy, I thought I'd get bored with it, but I wasn't even halfway through the book and I couldn't stop laughing. Her observations and comments were spot-on, and I found myself relating to some of it. Cliche as this may be, reading this book felt like I was just hanging out with Mindy somewhere and I was listening to all her stories about her life so far. Also, laughing very hard, because I imagine she's a great storyteller and she'd definitely hold the room's attention. :D
There were just some chapters in the book that I kind of spaced out on, particularly the parts about comedies because I'm not a huge fan of those. But I really liked reading her behind the scenes commentaries on The Office, particularly the bit about Steve Carell. Who would've thought? It made me kind of want to watch a bit of The Office, as well as The Mindy Project, if only to get more quotable quotes from her.
And this is me being silly, but a teeny part of me feels ashamed that I didn't read her books within two days (because she said "This book will take you two days to read. Did you even see the cover? It's mostly pink.")...but she would understand, right? Heh. :D Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? is a funny and refreshing read, a good in-between books for when you read too much fiction or when you have too much drama in your life, or when you just want to laugh, period. Definitely keeping this on my shelf. :)
I was trying to think of ways to review this book, because 33 Days to Morning Glory didn't feel like the regular book I would review. FoMarch 25, 2014
I was trying to think of ways to review this book, because 33 Days to Morning Glory didn't feel like the regular book I would review. For one thing, I never thought I'd actually do this until a friend told me about this retreat. Another is that how can I find the words to explain how reading this in the past 33 days have changed me, helped me get to know Mary and her role in my life through St. Louis de Montfort, St. Maximilian Kolbe, Blessed Mother Teresa, and Blessed John Paul II?
Let me say this instead, because this is the only thing I could think of now: there were miracles, big and small in the past 33 days that I could only attribute to the fact that I knew Mary was praying with me. There were crosses that were made sweeter, and I know that if I had encountered them on my own, it would have crushed me. But having Mama Mary by my side made it different, easier, even. She held my hand and stood by me as we looked at Jesus at the Cross, and taught me how to accept His love and to love Him back. Who else could teach us how to love Jesus with our human heart other than Mary, his mother? I don't know why it took me this long, but I'm glad I got here now.
I woke up excited this morning, because I remembered that it was 25th of March. Today is the Solemnity of the Annunciation, where we remember how Mary said the most beautiful "Yes" to the Lord, and through the Holy Spirit, she conceived Jesus. Today, like her, I also say yes to God -- I consecrate myself to Jesus through Mary. :)
Mary, help me to love with your most Immaculate Heart. Immaculate Heart of Mary, keep me in your most pure heart, so that I may please Jesus through you, in you, and with you....more
I first heard of Sugar through Hilary, one of my favorite bloggers. She often mentioned stuff she wrote on her posts, and for a moment, I thought thatI first heard of Sugar through Hilary, one of my favorite bloggers. She often mentioned stuff she wrote on her posts, and for a moment, I thought that "Sugar" was someone she knew personally, because she often referred to her like she knew her from real life. Then I wandered over to The Rumpus, and found that Sugar was actually an advice columnist. Now I have read several advice columns before - in magazines, while having my hair done in salons, most of the time. I read them, but they're not really my cup of tea, you know? Not that the people don't offer sound advice, but I would rather talk to people I know for advice because they know me better.
But Sugar seems like a different story. I mean, read this:
You cannot convince people to love you. This is an absolute rule. No one will ever give you love because you want him or her to give it. Real love moves freely in both directions. Don't waste your time on anything else.
How beautiful is that? I meant to read more of her posts, but then I got a copy of her Tiny Beautiful Things, a collection of the Dear Sugar columns. Some of my Goodreads friends gave a really high rating for it, so I scanned the first few pages and before I knew it, I couldn't stop reading. Because this book is possibly one of the most beautiful books I've read in the longest time.
The thing about Tiny Beautiful Things is that it is filled with tiny, beautiful things. Cheryl Strayed writes with the right mix of brutal honesty and gentleness in an answer to the people who wrote to her, asking for advice. And these people who wrote these letters are everyday people with everyday problems. Or, some of them may not be everyday problems, but they're situations that we, perfectly imperfect humans, get into. And I know it's impossible for one person to truly experience every single thing that these people wrote about, and Sugar doesn't pretend to do that. What she did instead is meet their problems with her own vulnerability and offer what she has, in hopes of the words finding the their home in the hearts of the people who sought her.
And I think it worked, because I could only count with one hand the letters that were close enough to what happened in my life, and yet Sugar's answers hit me, resonated in me "like a clanging bell." The truth that she wrote were truths that I could also use in my own life -- and I think other readers could use it, too. Her words on courage and love and compassion were a balm to the soul, and even if she delivers them sometimes with an edge, her love shines through, warm and inviting and healing. No judgments whatsoever. Just the loving truth. And that's what makes it beautiful.
Tiny Beautiful Things is the kind of book where I wished I had some kind of photographic memory, or at least I could remember each quote with clarity so when I need words for trying times, I know what words to pull to keep me afloat. This is the kind of book that I would reread from the first page to the last, the kind of book I will pick up and flip through randomly and still find something to feed my soul. I loved everything about Tiny Beautiful Things, and I hope in my heart that this book finds its way to the people who need it.
I was shopping for a Christmas present for my mom in Body Shop when I saw that they have new stocks of my favorite body butter scent, tangerine. ThatI was shopping for a Christmas present for my mom in Body Shop when I saw that they have new stocks of my favorite body butter scent, tangerine. That scent became my favorite by accident years ago, when I went there to claim my Love Your Body membership birthday gift, and they gave me a small bottle of their tangerine-scented lotion and body wash. I used it for the gym and loved it, and eventually bought more until I got broke and realized that my daily bath stuff are too expensive. So while I was there, buying a Christmas present for my mom, I decided to get a tub of the tangerine body butter, since it's on sale anyway. Plus, the scent just really cheers me up.
I'd like to believe that the moment I had with that body butter was something that Shauna Niequist was pointing at in her first book, Cold Tangerines.The subtitle alone is an indication of it: Celebrating the extraordinary nature of everyday life. Plus the fact that what I bought was a tangerine scented body butter, it kinda fits the entire thing, right?
Anyway. I loved the first Shauna Niequist book I read, Bittersweet: Thoughts on Change, Grace, and Learning the Hard Way, so when I saw that her two other books were on sale on Kindle on early December morning, I immediately bought it. I was a little afraid that her books might be those one-hit thing, meaning I won't really like the others I read because I won't be able to relate to it, but I shouldn't have feared anything with her first book because it was exactly what Bittersweet was for me when I first read it: it came at the right time in my life.
Cold Tangerines is exactly about what it says: celebrating the extraordinary nature of everyday life. Here, Shauna Niequist talks about the many little ways that God shows Himself in life, how the natural becomes spiritual, and how the physical things we see and we do are all connected to how we are nourished spiritually. There's food, friendship, writing, traveling. There's body issues, vacations, heartbreak, family. Shauna shared stories of her personal life, much like how she also did in Bittersweet, and then points the reader to God, and His faithfulness and His wonder in the ordinary life that she had.
Which means, we too, can see this, the extraordinary in our everyday life. I loved how easy it was to relate to her stories in this book, and whatever stage of life I was in, I would be able to find wisdom and advice in this book. Shauna's honesty shone in this book, and when I read the part about how hard it was for her to write in this book, I realized how much she must have struggled to put these words on paper. But that struggle was a blessing, at least for me, because I know that struggle, too. I feel that every time I write a post for my personal blog, wrestling with the words in hopes of them being used for something. And then there's the forgiveness chapter, one of my favorites, which really and truly came at the right time because I was struggling to forgive and ask for forgiveness from someone as well. Like Bittersweet, I think I highlighted almost half of the book -- there were just so many quotes to keep -- the ones I added below are just a glimpse of it, really.
I don't plan on using my tangerine-scented body butter everyday because I don't want to run out of it too fast. But I do take the time to smell it everyday, in a way to remind me that I can choose to see my life as sweet and happy, because it really is. And that is what Shauna Niequist's Cold Tangerinesis -- a reminder that there is something super in our natural life. Cold Tangerines is the kind of book I would recommend someone to read especially for the New Year. It's fresh and honest and funny and inspiring, and I think it would help set the mood for the fresh start that everyone's looking for in the turn of the year. Or if it's not the New Year, read this, still. This book is a reminder that there is beauty and hope and redemption in this extraordinary everyday life.
I've loved Hyperbole and a Half ever since my colleague told me about the blog. I remember there were days when I'd read the blog and start laughing uI've loved Hyperbole and a Half ever since my colleague told me about the blog. I remember there were days when I'd read the blog and start laughing uncontrollably at my desk, reading and rereading my favorite entries and hoping for more, more always more because the world needs more stories from Allie. I loved the drawings, the seemingly impossible stories about her dogs, the stuff about cake, the Alot and stories of her childhood. They were funny and crazy and just a delight to read, and the blog became one of my go-to places whenever I need some cheering up.
So I was thrilled when I found out she had a book coming out, because like I said, I can't get enough of her stuff. It took a little while, because of her adventures in depression, but I was glad when I saw the book up on Netgalley. It came at a pretty good time, too, because I needed something quick and funny to read, and this was just the one I needed.
Hyperbole and a Half contains some of the stories that you can find in Allie's blog, with some new stories, too. I had fun reading the stories in this collection, although I have to admit that some of them didn't make me laugh too much because I have read them too many times in the blog. I guess I can only laugh about them so much?
The other never-before-seen stories were funny, though, and I especially loved the one with the goose. Oh my Lord, I had a grand time reading that one, and I can't stop laughing over the images of the goose trying to get in the room, and the scene in the car. The funniest part of it were the actual photos of the goose to prove that it really happened -- you know what, even if it didn't really happen, I don't care. It was just so unbelievably funny that it is now a part of the favorite Hyperbole and a Half stories in my head.
I think most of my reading experience was hampered a bit by the device I used to read the book and the ebook formatting. I read the book in my phone because reading it in Hannah the Kindle Paperwhite won't be fun because the illustrations aren't colored. My phone has an itty-bitty screen though, and it made reading just a little bit bothersome compared to say, if I read it in an iPad or a bigger tablet. Plus the formatting was sometimes wonky, so I wasn't sure if I was reading a new story or if it's a part of the previous story until I'm sort of halfway through.
But I think Hyperbole and a Half is best read in print format, because of the illustrations. I liked it a lot (alot, heehee :P), and it was still pretty funny despite the technological limitations I faced. If you're a fan of her blog, go and get this, at least to have a print copy of the stories you loved. But if you're sort of new to her, you can dip your toes in her stories by browsing through her blog.
Oh, and like everyone else who reviewed this book said, I have to say it too: I missed the Alot. :(
When I was a kid, I loved watching those early morning educational shows on TV. I thought it was such a genius thing but I felt really bad because theWhen I was a kid, I loved watching those early morning educational shows on TV. I thought it was such a genius thing but I felt really bad because they weren't available in my school. I mean, why can't we watch it at nine in the morning? They're educational! So come summer vacation, I end up watching them religiously every morning, over breakfast, before I get asked to do chores. I loved the historical shows the most, more than the science ones, because I loved how they were told and it helped me remember history a little easier than just simply reading it.
Reading Guardians of Tradition: The Gawad sa Manlilikha ng Bayanreminded me of those days when I watched those shows. This book by Mae Astrid Tobias, illustrated by Rommel E. Joson and with photos by Renato S. Rastrollo, is a children's book about the different indigenous and folk artists of the Philippines. These are people who were awarded by the government the Gawad sa Manlilikha ng Bayan to let the country know about their art. These people are the best weavers, folk musicians, performing artists, mat weavers and metal smiths in the Philippines. The book talks about them, who they are, what they do, and it even includes some fun activities to help the readers appreciate what these people do. The book is narrated by two characters Kiko and Banog, and it is filled with colorful photos and illustrations for not just young but also the old readers.
In a nutshell, I really enjoyed this book. It's not often I read a children's book, and this one is a really pretty one. I loved the binding, and the glossy pages. I also love the illustrations and how the two main characters (or tour guides) seem so fun. They make it easier for the books to be read, and it didn't seem like a simple history/arts/culture book. I honestly haven't heard of anyone in the book, and it was fun reading about them and what they do. I figure I've probably seen some of these pieces, but I never knew the history behind it, and more importantly, the people behind them. There's also a glossary of terms at the back for review, and a map of the Philippines that points out the locations of the people featured in the book.
I could easily this book as an app, or a TV show, especially since the two characters seem to be drawn for that. I would love to have another volume for this book, because I'm pretty sure there are more than 11 of these people in the country! They truly are guardians of our tradition, and it made me proud to be born and raised in a country with such colorful culture. :)
If it were any other time, any other season, I probably wouldn't have picked this up from the Kindle store. I wouldn't have looked at this twice, becaIf it were any other time, any other season, I probably wouldn't have picked this up from the Kindle store. I wouldn't have looked at this twice, because I don't think it's for me, or I would be interested. When was the last time I read a non-fiction, self-help book like this? I can't remember. But I know for sure that if it were any other time early this year, or if it were any other season in my life, I wouldn't have decided to get Bittersweetby Shauna Niequist and read it immediately after it loaded on Hannah the Kindle.
Oh, I guess it helped that the ebook was on sale when I saw it, so I bought it. But still, I wouldn't have gotten it and enjoyed it as much as I did if it were any other time of my life.
Bittersweet: Thoughts on Change, Grace and Learning the Hard Way by Shauna Niequist is about so many things, but mostly, about how life is bittersweet. How life isn't always happy or sweet but we shouldn't let the bitterness of it get to us. There is such a thing as bittersweet, and it's the kind of life that we should appreciate, especially because all the learning and the changes and (most importantly) grace is seen in the bittersweet parts of life. This is a collection of essays and realizations about her life, and what she learned from them -- from her fights with her husband to moving to a new place, from meeting new friends, having parties and serving them food and these friends moving away. From her problems getting pregnant again to broken hearts, family members dying and babies being born. The book is an honest collection of stories that the reader will definitely relate to at some point, and drives the point that life is really bittersweet.
Like I said, if I read this at any other time, I don't think it would have made as much of a big impact as it did now. Bittersweetkept me company during the hard days, and spoke to me over and over and over again about grace and God's faithfulness. I couldn't relate to some of the stories Niequist wrote because I don't have a family, and I haven't moved away yet, but the lessons she talked about were universal, and somehow I felt like she really knew what heartache is, and she can relate to me. Her words served like a balm to my soul, and some passages made me cry several times because it felt like they were exactly what I needed to read.
In a way, it seemed like a promise, too -- that whatever you're going through, whatever your situation is, God knows it, and He will take you through it. It's not easy, but you have a choice to view your situation as bittersweet. And from her words, it seemed like she's healed and moved on from the hard parts of her life and if she can do it, then you definitely can, too. I needed that, and as I read the book more, I realize that maybe it was meant for me to see this book on Amazon, and to see it on sale so I can buy it.
Granted, some of the stories were a little repetitive, like stories at the end had some similarities to the stories at the start, but by the time I got to that, I was far too in love with what I've read for me to really nitpick about it. Despite that repetitiveness, though, the stories in Bittersweetwere honest and heartfelt and real, and it made me feel that I had a friend in Shauna Niequist, even if this is the first book of hers I've read.
I wonder now how I would've reacted to this if I read this on any other time, at any other season. I know I'm being repetitive on this review with that, but I can't help but wonder. Would I even read this at all? If I did, though, I don't think I would've loved it as much as I did now. But whatever -- I'm just really, really glad that this book got to me at the right time. If you're in a tough time, if you're experiencing bitter moments, I definitely recommend this book. Bittersweetmay not make your life better in a snap, but I hope it helps you heal, just like a good book ought to do. :)
My prayer for you is not that you live a life that's only sweet and never bitter, but that even in the bitterest of moments, you will find the comfort of Christ, deep and enduring, powerful beyond all imagination.
Repetitive at some point, but I loved every story in it. So honest and heartfelt and real. :) ...more
Here's a little fact: I love snail mail. I love letters, specifically. I think it started when our third grade teacherOriginal post from One More Page
Here's a little fact: I love snail mail. I love letters, specifically. I think it started when our third grade teacher taught us about letter writing, and we had to pick pen pals within the class. I loved getting letters in the mail, but since my classmates and I live close to each other, it's not really that practical to be pen pals with them. When I was in sixth grade, though, my best friend from elementary school moved to the United States. We didn't have much contact when she left, until I happened to get her mailing address from a common friend and I sent her my first snail mail letter. This had us sending letters back and forth for the next two years, until email came and we switched to that.
Reading 84, Charing Cross Road by Helene Hanff is almost like a trip back to memory lane on those days when I would spend so much time writing letters to my best friend who lived in the other side of the world. This thin volume is a collection of letters from Helene Hanff, a screenwriter in New York search of second hand books to a bookstore in 84, Charing Cross Road in London. This sparked the friendship between Helene and the staff of the bookstore, one that consisted of letters, books and gifts and spanned for decades.
84, Charing Cross Road is a little gem of a book for book lovers, and it's most appropriate that the copy I read is a shared copy from our book club. We call it our own traveling book, and it's gone through several readers before it landed in my hands. It's a quick and funny read, and I finished it in a few hours -- smiling, laughing, and then sighing at the end. Helene's letters were witty and sarcastic most of the time, and Frank Doel of the book shop were always formal and proper, yet still filled with warmth. Pretty soon, the rest of the staff were writing letters to Helene, too. I find myself checking the dates in the letters every now and then, and I can't imagine the time that pass before the letters get to the recipients. My own mail takes two to three weeks before it arrives, but some of them span months in the book. I guess it meant that they were more patient back then, whereas I get so miffed sometimes when I don't get a reply to my email or my text message within the day. But true friendship transcends time and distance, right?
This book is very reminiscent of The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society, with the letters shared between book lovers. I love that 84, Charing Cross Roadhas that same warmth I got from the other book, even if the ending was slightly different. But I liked the latter more because it's a true story. I think that's the reason why I added one more star in my rating -- there's something about knowing how all of this is real that makes it even more charming. It's too bad that the actual bookstore doesn't exist anymore, but I would love to see where the building stood and imagine what the people inside were doing, and how excited they were every time they received Helene's letters and packages. And maybe, even do what Helene asked her friend to do:
If you happen to pass by 84 Charing Cross Road, kiss it for me? I owe it so much.
Now if you'll excuse me, I think I'll stock up on my stationery so I can go write some letters again. Anyone want one? :)...more
I found Ally's blog through Twitter one time and her blog quickly became one of my favorites. I must admit that I really liked reading the stuff she wI found Ally's blog through Twitter one time and her blog quickly became one of my favorites. I must admit that I really liked reading the stuff she wrote about dating, because I thought they spoke the truth, and not in a flowery way but in a real, age-appropriate, I-can-apply-this-to-my-life way. I was also very, very amazed at how she and her friend quit their jobs, sell everything and then went on a road trip to pursue their dreams. It's such an exciting thing, things that my friends and I can only think about. I mean, quit our jobs, sell everything and travel? It seemed hardly rational.
When I heard that Ally was releasing a book about her adventures in this trip -- and one of the reasons she went on a road trip, I think -- I knew I wanted to read it. I find it funny that this book, like the previous non-fiction book I bought and read -- came to my life at exactly the right time, and it seemed like the words I read were the exact words I needed in my life.
I make it sound so dramatic, I know, but it was the only thing that fits with my reading experience. Packing Lightis a memoir of sorts, of Ally's trip with her friend Sharaya, and what she learned about baggage, be it physical or not. Ally talked about the preparations for the trip, her doubts, their adventures and misadventures. She talked about the relationships that she formed and lost and strengthened in the course of six months, how she dealt with heartbreak and how she found herself again. In each of the chapters, Ally would share the lessons she learned, and how she learned that in a trip -- and in life -- you can't take all the baggage that you have accumulated, but packing light isn't always as easy as it sounds.
The best thing about books like this, I think, is its honesty. It helps that I knew Ally from her blog before, and her posts are just so real and honest that I knew her book would be nothing less. Packing Lighthas that same feel, the same kind of intimacy of a good friend who is telling you her story, and her adventures and you learn a thing or two from what she's saying. I liked reading about how she and Sharaya prepared for the trip, and then she puts it in such a way that anyone could be going through the trip, and the preparations. Ally makes it seem like anyone can do what she and her friend did...and maybe anyone really can. Perhaps not the same kind of trip, but still a trip that has a potential to change your life. Then again, every trip has a potential to do that, right?
Needless to say, I loved Packing Light.I learned a lot while I was reading it, and I bet that if I reread it again, I will learn new things too. This is exactly the kind of book that I'd recommend to read if you're at a crossroad in your life, if you're having a life crisis, if you're feeling a little lost and broken and you don't want to be alone. But even if you're not in any of those states, I still think Packing Lightis a must-read book. Ally's experiences teach us about what baggage can do in our life, and how important it is to let go.
I first heard about Brené Brown from one of my favorite personal blogs, and there I found her TEDx talk on vulnerability and shame. From then on, I waI first heard about Brené Brown from one of my favorite personal blogs, and there I found her TEDx talk on vulnerability and shame. From then on, I was a fan, and I really wanted to read her book that talked more about vulnerability. I considered my 2013 as a year of learning about vulnerability (besides learning how to be brave), and I thought that it was such a mind-blowingly simple thing, this vulnerability. I mean, it's simple because it's all in us, but it's also possibly quite the hardest thing anyone will ever allow themselves to be. But it's necessary, right?
2013 came and went, and it was a rollercoaster of a year for me. Sometime near the end of the year, I decided that I was going to make Daring Greatly one of the first books I will read in 2014, because the end of 2013 kind of steered me in that direction. So when 2014 rolled around, I opened the book and started reading.
10% in, and I was already learning so much, that I wondered why I didn't try to read it earlier. I mean, this could have helped me deal with life things back then!
On a serious note, Daring Greatly is a book that dares us to dare greatly. If you've watched her TEDx talks, this book is pretty much an expanded edition of what she said there. Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead is about how we can practice vulnerability and cultivate shame resilience in our everyday lives so we can dare greatly and help others to do the same. Using comprehensive research on shame (the one she talked about on the video -- yes, this is me urging you to watch that video), Brené talked about her personal experiences and the results she received from interviews and surveys that shed light on shame and how it is to be the "man in the arena".
I loved this. Like I said, 10% into the book, I was already nodding and noting and highlighting so many parts, because they rang true. These were the things I was trying to learn myself last year, and the things I tried to practice. These were the things I desired to have with practicing vulnerability. I loved how open and relatable this was, and I could feel that the writing itself was very vulnerable, with the way Brené shared bits of her life and research in the book. And it's compassionate, too, because even if some parts hit hard -- as in, I can't believe I didn't do this, I'm so stupid, la la la -- she always brings you back to the fact that our mistakes don't make us. We may make wrong choices, but it doesn't tell us what we're worth.
I enjoyed reading this for the most part because it's not just a self-help book, but also a book packed by research. Brené even talked about her research process at the end of the book, and you she knows what she's talking about. It's so refreshing to read this, and find someone openly discussing something that we all want to be (even if sometimes we didn't think we want it). I really enjoyed the chapters on debunking vulnerability myths, and that chapter she named after Harry Potter. :D (Because when you think about it, shame is like a dementor.) I think I just sort of spaced out with the vulnerability in a corporate setting (which is funny because I should be interested in that given that I live in corporate world). The parenting section was interesting even if I'm not a parent, and you know that these are just the things you want to note for when you have your own kids.
So overall, I really liked this book, and I was glad that I read this to start off my 2014. I really liked Brené's Final Thoughts in the book, about that guy who was inspired by Brené's TED talk, and decided to tell the girl he was dating for several months that he loved her. He got rejected.
She told him that she thought he was "awesome" but that she thought they should date other people. When he got back to his apartment after talking to his girlfriend, he told his two roommates what had happened. He said, "They were both hunched over their laptops and without looking up one of them was like 'What were you thinking, man?'" One of his roommates told him that girls only like guys who are running the other way. He looked at me and said, "I felt pretty stupid at first. For a second I was mad at myself and even a little pissed at you. But then I thought about it and I remembered why I did it. I told my roommates, 'I was daring greatly, dude.'"
He smiled when he told me, "They stopped typing, looked at me, nodded their heads, and said, 'Oh. Right on, dude.'"
I truly believe that Brené Brown had it right: Daring greatly is not about winning or losing. It's about courage. There were many things in Daring Greatly that I wished I had known earlier, but it's also okay that I learned it now, because I don't think I would have appreciated its value then. To live an authentic, wholehearted life, we need to dare greatly, over and over again. Even if we fail, because guess what -- our failures have nothing on us, because we are enough. :)
Susulat ko dapat ang review nito sa blog ko, pero naisip ko parang di bagay. Saka mas maganda isulat ang review nito sa Tagalog/Taglish kasi ganun dinSusulat ko dapat ang review nito sa blog ko, pero naisip ko parang di bagay. Saka mas maganda isulat ang review nito sa Tagalog/Taglish kasi ganun din naman yung libro. :)
So. Binili ko ang librong ito kasi fan ako ni Ramon Bautista at ang kanyang mga online na pakulo. Aliw na aliw ako sa kanya (pati kay Tado, kay Lourd de Veyra at sa barkadahan nila), at tuwing napapagod ako sa opisina eh titignan ko lang ang twitter nya. Aliw na aliw din ako sa web series nya na Tales from the Friend Zone kasi nakakatawa. May kurot, pero nakakatawa -- yung tipong pag napanood mo, matatamaan ka kasi alam mo na nangyari na yun sayo or may kilala ka na nangyari yung ganun o baka nangyayari yun sayo sa panahong iyon, pero tatawa ka pa rin kasi ang kulit ng pagkagawa nila. Ang paborito kong payo galing sa kanila? Lalandi ka na nga lang, sagarin mo na. :P
Nung binasa ko ang librong ito, ang dami, dami, dami kong tawa. Nakakahiya nga kasi ang ingay namin sa opisina nung binabasa ko to. Karamihan nito sagot lang nya sa mga tanong sa kanya sa formspring nya, at karamihan din ng sagot nya dun, common sense lang din ang sagot. Medyo nakakatawa na ang daming halos pare-pareho ang tanong lang tungkol sa pag-ibig, so parang pare-pareho lang din yung sagot. Siguro kasi talaga pagdating sa mga ganun, medyo nababawasan ng common sense mga tao. Hindi ko sinasabi na di rin nangyari sakin yun -- lahat naman ata tayo naging tanga at some point dahil sa pag-ibig. (Yoooown) Umamin!!! :D
Pero sakin kasi, ang librong ito ay talagang patawa lang. May mapupulot na aral din naman, pero yun nga, dinaan sa patawa. Hindi ito yung tipo ng libro na hahanapan mo ng malalim na meaning kasi hindi rin naman ata sinulat to ni Ramon para maging seryosong libro. Pwera na nga lang kung tinamaan ka. :P
So kung gusto mong matawa, ito ang isa sa mga libro na talagang hahalakhak ka ng mag-isa habang binabasa mo siya. :) Nakalimutan ko na kung ilang beses ako humagikgik habang binabasa to mag-isa. Buti na lang wala ako kasama nun, kasi baka maiyak lang ako sa kakatawa habang pinapaliwanag siya. :D...more
I love watching crime shows, but I only really like watching fictional ones. Any crime show or documentary that is "baseOriginal post at One More Page
I love watching crime shows, but I only really like watching fictional ones. Any crime show or documentary that is "based on a true story" automatically creeps me out. I can do a marathon of CSI all day, but when someone tells me that someone near us was robbed or a friend of a friend of a friend is killed, I automatically shut my ears because I don't want to imagine it happening to the people I care for. Case in point: there was a time when I learned that our neighbor was robbed, and for the next week, I slept with a scissor beside my bed (not a wise thing, actually) because I was afraid that someone would get in our house and do the same thing to us. I figure the scissor is a good enough weapon, right?
So I'm not really sure why I voted for In Cold Bloodby Truman Capote when we had our poll for our September 2012 book. I guess I was swayed by the good reviews on the book, plus it seemed the most interesting among the choices. I guess I also totally forgot about that certain part of my paranoid childhood until I started reading the book.
In Cold Bloodis Truman Capote's account of the murder of the Clutter family in the small town of Holcomb, Kansas by Richard Hickock and Perry Smith. It's not really a simple account of the murder told in a boring old non-fiction narrative. This is classified ascreative nonfiction so it read like a novel, and instead of just focusing on the murders, we are given a peek into the lives of the accused, their trial, up until their execution five years later.
Here's the thing with In Cold Blood: it reads like any other crime novel until you do a little research and realize/remember that the characters in this book were actually real people. I was really just enjoying Capote's writing while I was reading the first part, until someone from the book club posted photos of the Clutter family on our thread and I got major creeps because I remembered that the story was real. I'm not as paranoid worried now as I was when I was a kid, but realizing the truth in this story made my skin crawl. I can't imagine the horror of that night.
But again, the story didn't really focus much on the victims but on the killers. It's an interesting angle that actually made me feel sorry for them despite the grievous sin they committed. I'm not saying that what they did was excusable -- it's just that seeing their side of the story, or at least, their background, made me just a little bit sympathetic to them. They could have been better people, I thought. There could have been something that could have changed their past so they won't have to do what they did. And end up that way.
In Cold Bloodcould spark discussions on numerous topics, especially on the death penalty and justice, and that was exactly what happened during our face to face discussion. Interestingly, I got one of the hard ones again, something about justice and it started a pretty long debate/discussion on what justice really meant for everyone of us. I admit that it's one of the things that I need time to really understand, and that right now I just really, really pray hard that nothing like this ever happens to anyone I care for.
In Cold Bloodreminded me of the time when I did a Criminal Minds marathon a few years back. I really enjoyed it, but I didn't really go out of my way to watch it again. Once is enough, I guess (unless it's for research or something). Likewise, I liked In Cold Blood, but I don't think I have the heart to read something like this again....more
I had no idea who Lino Rulli was until I heard him on Lifeteen's Holy Week podcast, which was actually his show with Mark Hart the Bible Geek as guest. I listen to a few Catholic podcasts, but I have never heard of him until then, so I admit that I wasn't really sure what to expect when I started listening to the episode that Good Friday. But a few minutes in, I was already charmed by this funny Catholic guy, which led me to downloading other episodes of The Catholic Guy Show from iTunes. He plugged his book, Sinner, several times in the other episodes, but I wasn't really sure if I want to buy it because I'm picky with books like that. A few more laugh out loud episodes, however (he and his co-host Fr. Rob kept me awake during my night shift work days!), I knew I wanted his book. Then came my friend Monique, bearing good news and new books, and she sent me the ebook version of Sinner as a gift.
That is divine providence, IMHO.
But I digress. I wasn't planning to read this too soon, but when I loaded the book on my Kindle, I found myself starting the book. And reading. Two days later, I am done.
What just happened there, oy?
Sinner by Lino Rulli is exactly what the subtitle says it is: The Catholic Guy's Funny, Feeble Attempts to be a Faithful Catholic. This book had me from the introduction, particularly this line:
I want to be more faithful, but I'm scared. Scared that I'll try and fail. And in some ways, even more scared that I'll succeed.
Lino Rulli is not a reformed Catholic. He's not one who had a bad past and found the light and then turned and had a holy life afterwards. Sinner is not that kind of book where the author talks about the dark days and then the conversion and the days in the light. Sinner is about a guy who was born and raised Catholic, and still had doubts and mishaps while knowing God. It's basically the story of every human who's a part of the Catholic church and is trying (but often failing) to live the way God called them to be.
I can't remember laughing so much while I was reading a book, and a non-fiction Catholic book at that. Lino is as witty and funny on paper as he is on radio/podcast, and I can imagine him really saying these stories on his show. These are confessions that I think some traditional and strictly religious Catholics would shake their heads at, but would touch the hearts of the everyday struggling Catholic and make them smile and be comforted that they aren't alone in their struggles and their journey. Lino's stories range from his dad being an organ grinder to meeting the Pope, to confession (several times), to his mother and his single life woes. I'd like to believe that there's something for every Catholic in this book, but I will let you be the judge of that (which is my not-so-subtle way of saying, Guys, you should really read this book!).
The only thing I wanted after I finished reading this was that there was more, because I really and truly enjoyed this one. Oh, and possibly a story about Fr. Rob. :P This book reminds me of Flashbang by Mark Steele, but possibly a bit better, because hey, it's Catholic! And it's not often I read books about the faith I grew up in. There's nothing like feeling a sense of community while reading about confession (and how hard it is to do) or confirmation or (Blessed) Pope John Paul II in one book. If you're ever the one who tried reading Catholic books but got bored or felt that you can't relate, then I suggest you try this book. It's funny, refreshing, borderline irreverent but definitely easy to relate to, because when it all comes down to it, we are all sinners, period.
Sinner by Lino Rulli may just be one of the most honest books I've read this year, and I think based on this honesty alone, it deserves all the stars I can give. And a spot on my favorites shelf. :)
I wanted to be as honest as possible about my faith, my doubts, and my sins. To let people see my pride, my jealousy, my wrath, my lust. But also see someone who's still trying to fight the good fight of faith. (p.141)
When the new year rolled around, I was more than ready to start a new book, eager to start filling my 2012 shelf. HoweveOriginal post at One More Page
When the new year rolled around, I was more than ready to start a new book, eager to start filling my 2012 shelf. However, it felt like the books I was starting weren't really making the cut. I couldn't really get into it. It may have been just some kind of New Year blues or something -- I don't know. I received Astigirl as a review copy from Flipside on the first day of work and was all set to read it later in the month. Until decided to take a peek at it after work...and I could not put it down.
Astigirl: A Grown Girl Living On Her Own Terms is Tweet Sering's account of how she turned into her own kind of tough girl. Tweet talks about a range of things: from a fan letter to Angelina Jolie, to a family discussion on whether Manny Pacquiao's politics, to how she let go of her finances, to how she decided to drop everything to follow her dream. She talks about serious things about a man she loves and her art, and how she was asked to write her grandmother's biography to seemingly not-so-serious things such as how she wants to strangle Bella and kick Edward as she read New Moon. With a warm, personal tone akin to a friend sharing her experiences to another, Tweet Sering makes her readers feel that if she can do it, then we can, too.
Ah. That almost slump I had was instantly gone after I read the first entry in this book. Astigirl is the perfect book to read for the new year. It's got all this freshness and honesty that no other fiction book can offer. I thought it would be all about the kind of toughness that I wouldn't be able to appreciate or relate to, but I was wrong. Think of this as sort of a Filipino version of Eat Pray Love, but less of the annoying over-privileged "I have money to travel all over the world" feel. In fact, Tweet talked about how she didn't really feel a strong attachment to money, something I know I had to learn.
I was kind of glad I read this on my Kindle because it makes it easy to highlight quotes. Believe me, when I got to the middle, I realized I was highlighting almost every other page. Maybe it was because of the new year, or maybe it was because Tweet Sering talks about things that every young Filipino woman is thinking but is too confused or too afraid to set out for: to do something meaningful. I would share with you my favorite quotes but they're too many of them, so you'll just have to read it for yourself. :)
Being nonfiction meant not everyone will agree with this, but it also means that it can be read again and deliver a different message altogether. Astigirl is a great book to start the year with, and I think it would also make the perfect gift for girlfriends and girl friends. I don't necessarily agree with everything and I thought some of the entries were a bit long, but I really enjoyed the book and I would definitely browse through it again.
So, if you're a Filipino woman in your 20's or 30's and if you're feeling a little beat from life or you need a little inspiration, get Astigirl by Tweet Sering. It will do you a lot of good, and hopefully, it will also give you that push you need to go after what you need to do to be your own Astigirl....more
I've only heard about Lourd De Veyra through friends, because most of my friends are big fans of him. I've seen him everOriginal post at One More Page
I've only heard about Lourd De Veyra through friends, because most of my friends are big fans of him. I've seen him every now and then on his TV5 segment, Word of the Lourd, and I have read some of his articles in his Spot.ph blog. But I was never really one who followed his stuff regularly. I wasn't really 100% excited to attend his book launch when I was invited, except that I can't really say no to a free, local book. Unfortunately, the launch happened on the night that tropical storm Falcon made an ocean of Manila.
I was glad when the publisher still sent me a book for review because despite my being a not-so-much-of-a-fan, I was curious about the book. I was pleasantly surprised when I saw how nice the book looked. Okay, it wasn't just nice, it was quite beautiful for a local publication. My fellow bloggers and I often complain about the print quality of the local books here, but The Best of This is a Crazy Planets is far superior than the others. The paper quality is nice, the cover design is pretty and illustrations/artwork were there for every article. I am delighted to see that it was affordable for its quality, too - P195 (less than 4 USD) is a pretty good price to pay for a book that looks this pretty.
That price is even more justified once you read what's inside. Like I said, I've only read a few of Lourd's articles online, so I was pretty new to his writing. Lourd De Veyra offers a funny, oftentimes sarcastic but very real commentaries on Philippine current events, people, culture and even showbiz. I found myself giggling and having to hold it back whenever I'm reading this in a public place. Some of them, I can't really relate to, some of them, I agree with, some of them, I just find really, really funny. Underneath its wit and sarcasm, Lourd's articles show a lot of truth in the current state of our country. It's not always pretty, and sometimes I feel bad when I realize that it is the ugly truth about the Philippines. But even so, Lourd never ever showed a hint of not liking his home country despite this truth (at least, that's the impression on me). It's like he writes it all out, shrugs and then says, "This is a crazy planet." Or planets.
Why buy this book when you can read it online? Well, if you're not enticed by the beautiful quality of this book and its relatively cheap price, think of it this way: you can read his articles even without Internet, even if you're in the remotest areas in this crazy planet we live in. And I think that's pretty much worth it, right?
The Best of This is a Crazy Planets is now available for Php195 in local bookstores nationwide....more
I got this book a year ago during the book launch, not because I knew the author or I was even really remotely interesteOriginal post at One More Page
I got this book a year ago during the book launch, not because I knew the author or I was even really remotely interested -- I got this simply because I wanted to support local authors and their work. Of course, with the not-so-high interest level, I pushed this down my TBR until I finally pulled it out so I can finally read it. Paper Cutsis a collection of stories from journalist/writer Pam Pastor based on her adventures in her "crazy life". I liked the idea, given that I'm a blogger myself, although I doubt that my life is as crazy as hers.
I enjoyed Paper Cuts for the most part, especially the ones where the author shared anecdotes about her family. There's nothing like crazy family stories to set the tone of a non-fiction book. I also liked her crazy commuting/cab stories because I share the same things too. However...my enjoyment kind of stopped there. After some time, I just couldn't relate much to the other parts of the book. It feels like maybe I would have enjoyed it more if I wanted to have the same adventures as she did -- meet different celebrities, go around the world for her job and party when there's time -- but I'm actually quite happy with my own life. These stories were good to read, but it's not something that I would probably gush about, unless they were my own experiences, that is. But knowing (boring) old me, I don't think I'll even reach as many crazy experiences like that.
It's not a bad book, per se. The writing was very witty and again, there were several stories that made me chuckle, but I was a bit apathetic for the rest of the stories. It's just one of those books that I am not a part of the intended audience. But you know what, maybe that's why I haven't heard of the author until her book came out -- maybe it's because we're just in entirely different circles. Overall, it's an okay book....more
Two years ago, on this day, I woke up and found it was raining hard. It was a normal occurrence, of course, since it was the rainy season at that timeTwo years ago, on this day, I woke up and found it was raining hard. It was a normal occurrence, of course, since it was the rainy season at that time. I was all ready to snuggle down into bed and enjoy a rainy bed weather, thanking that I was safe and sound with my family, at home.
Then this happened:
It was two years ago today that Typhoon Ketsana, locally own as Ondoy, hit our country, submerging Metro Manila underwater. It should have been a normal day, especially for us since it has never flooded in the 20 years that I lived where I lived. But that day changed everything, and in a span of hours, we found ourselves trying to secure all the important things we own away from the rising waters of a flood that got into our house, and eventually evacuating to our neighbor's house where we stayed the next two nights.
So that's why I felt that this collection of essays edited by Elbert Or, After the Storm, is pretty much a required reading for me. When you survive a disaster like this, it's either you completely turn away and try to forget about it, or move on and remember it every now and then, using it to make you a little bit stronger. I choose the latter.
After the Storm is filled with essays from different people sharing their various experiences that happened before, during and after the typhoon. These essays range from a creative piece told from the point of view of a floating hardbound book, to a senator's reflections on the effects of the typhoon and the resiliency of the Filipino spirit, to a person's thoughts on volunteering and even a firsthand account of a survivor from Provident Village in Marikina, one of the hardest hits of the flood. Needless to say, this was one of the books that I should not have read in public, because I found my eyes filling with tears every now and then. It's hard to forget the fear, the disbelief, the wondering if things will ever be the same again after this, and if we will ever even recover from this.
To be honest, I wasn't really feeling the first part of the book. It felt like some of the entries were written just to impress people, or to pat their egos about volunteering. I couldn't relate, and I felt like it lacked the proper empathy that victims survivors would look for. I felt exasperated at the truth that shows just how unprepared we are, and how much the government lacked, and how some people pointed fingers at that. Some talked so much about volunteering that it almost didn't sound sincere. On the other side of the spectrum, there was one essay that talked about how it is better not to volunteer and instead go back to work and donate money because it would be more helpful. As much as it made sense, I was kind of miffed. Are you just trying to comfort yourself with the fact that you didn't take time off from work to help out? Come on. Tell that to the people who's on the receiving end of the help.
But then somewhere in the end, I realized that maybe, just like grieving, there is never really a single way in moving on from calamities such as this. Maybe people cope differently. Maybe some people get so moved that they have to move physically, that they have to do something about it, such as organize a sandwich drive or volunteer for various relief efforts. Maybe some people get so shocked that they can't do anything, except maybe find a way to spread the word. Maybe some people get moved to write. Maybe, some victims start off with shock, sadness, disbelief until they find the strength in themselves and in other people to help them become survivors instead.
There are people who suffered much more than I did, but it wouldn't change the fact that Typhoon Ketsana/Ondoy changed my life. I think and I hope it changed everyone's lives, with it has tested us. Anthologies such as this may not be perfect, it may not contain a very accurate account of everything that happened in those dark and stormy days, but I must agree that it's a way of reminding us that it happened. And while we must move on, we must not forget.
Two years ago today, Ondoy surprised all of us.
We were there.
Yes, we are still here.
And yes, we are still standing.
And maybe, that's really the point of this book....more
Just yesterday, I was chatting with one of my best friends who is also my old household head in Youth for Christ (YFC).Original post at One More Page
Just yesterday, I was chatting with one of my best friends who is also my old household head in Youth for Christ (YFC). She was telling me about her latest Kindle purchase (if you're curious, it's Cassandra Clare's Clockwork Angel). I told her about how I was reading A Grief Observed in my Kindle, and added that I wanted to buy other C.S. Lewis books there, too, because I realized that his books are a bit too expensive if I buy it here in full price, and I don't really have the patience to dig for them in bargain bookstores. My friend laughed (as much as you can online, anyway) and she said she's not ready for C.S. Lewis, at least not yet now. This is coming from my friend who would spend her spare time watching Hillsong United worship videos, mind you.
Today I realized that I've read so many Christian books but I've never really read any of C.S. Lewis. It's not that I don't have his books, too. I have Mere Christianity and the boxed set of The Chronicles of Narnia but I haven't finished any of them. Strange? In a way, yes. But thinking about that and my conversation with my friend yesterday, I think it may not be that strange, because I realize that I may have not been ready to read C.S. Lewis' books back when I first got them.
Truth be told, I wouldn't have gotten A Grief Observed if it wasn't one of the books for discussion in our Goodreads group. It's been a long time since I actually cracked open a non-fiction book, and whenever I do, I never finish them. Another reason why I would not have gotten this by myself is because I can't relate to grief, at least, not yet.
I am a stranger to grief. Sure, I know some people who have passed away and I have shed tears for them, but I have never really felt the same kind of grief that I know other people have felt. The last closest relative I know who passed away was my maternal grandmother, and that's ten years ago, and all the other deaths I've heard about is not close enough to me for me to actually grieve the way other people do.
But I'm not taking this one lightly. I still feel afraid, because I know that as I grow older, the closer I am and everyone I know and love and care for is to death. It's a fact of life. And then I remember: it's not a matter of growing older. Everyone is close to death, myself included. No one can escape it, and the only question we can ask (and will probably never get the answer until we are right there at that moment) is When?
A Grief Observed doesn't have an answer to any of what I said, unfortunately. I knew C.S. Lewis was a great writer, but this book is not like any book I've read before. I can't empathize because like I said, I haven't lost anyone very close to me to death just yet (and I'm very grateful for that of course), so I read this as if I was a spectator. It almost feels like I was intruding into something very private, as if I wasn't supposed to be reading them. These are the thoughts of a man who has lost the love of his life to something he can't fight. These are the ramblings of a man who has a solid foundation for his faith yet he couldn't find foothold now that he experienced this big blow. This is a man who is grieving, period.
I don't think anyone can ever explain how it is to grieve. I believe, like falling in love (yes, I have to connect it to that), everyone has their own process of grieving. Crying, writing, hiding yourself -- what works for you. Like death, no one is exempt from grief, but I think we do have a choice on what to believe while we grieve. Do we believe that the other person is already in a better place? Do we believe that he/she is at peace? Do we believe that God has them? Do we believe that death actually exists? What would you believe in?
I've written so much, but I think this is one of the hardest reviews I've ever written. There's so much in A Grief Observed that can be said, that can be quoted, that can be criticized, even, but not so much words to write on what it is really about. It's unlike any other non-fiction book I read, and maybe this is because it's raw, and it really comes from the author's heart. This is probably the first book that I couldn't really relate to, yet I also could at the same time. Perhaps C.S. Lewis wasn't just grieving about his wife, but maybe he is also grieving about his faith, and his primitive notions of how he sees God and His love? I'm just speculating. But if that is right, then I also grieve with him for the same reasons.