Headed to the beach or cottage this summer? Got a long plane ride ahead of you? Just hanging out by the pool with a pitcher of margaritas? Yeah, this Headed to the beach or cottage this summer? Got a long plane ride ahead of you? Just hanging out by the pool with a pitcher of margaritas? Yeah, this is the book you'll want to have with you. It's one of those unreliable narrator psychological thrillers that once you start it, you will be utterly compelled to keep turning the pages until you get to the end to find out what the hell really happened? As these kind of books go, it's a satisfying resolution. There are enough sleights of hand, and red herrings, to keep a reader on their toes and guessing until the last page is turned.
The author is trying something a little tricky with her narrative too; she tells the story backwards over the course of fifteen days. This is a neat little fun trick, but really, at the end of the day, I don't think it added much to the tension of the novel, or its structure. Had she just adhered to a straight linear narrative approach I don't think anything would have been lost in the overall impact and delivery of her story.
There are also a few scenes that genuinely had me feeling creeped out and uneasy, because for most of the novel you're really not sure where the threat is coming from (and even if there's any threat at all). Miranda conjures up a heavy and pressing atmosphere that's practically claustrophobic at times, always welcome in a book like this. The setting is suitably small town and insular, carrying its secrets and guarding them closely to the peril of those who wish to turn over the mossy rock and expose the dank underbelly to the glaring sun.
None of the characters are very likeable, but I think because out of necessity, Miranda has to create an impenetrable distance between them and the reader to keep us off kilter and guessing. At their core however, most of their motivations are very relatable and when you finish reading and put the book down, you'll find yourself questioning what you would have done in the same circumstances.
I would like to thank Simon and Schuster Canada for providing me with a copy to review. ...more
I've been so behind on my reviewing these days, but I had so much fun with this one I wanted to make sure I didn't let it fall through the dark cracksI've been so behind on my reviewing these days, but I had so much fun with this one I wanted to make sure I didn't let it fall through the dark cracks into the swirling abyss where my non-reviewed books go.
I'm a huge fan of Ansari. I think he's cute as a button and funny as goddamn hell. I watched him in Parks & Rec, his most recent Netflix original Master of None (which I highly recommend), and thoroughly enjoy his stand-up concerts. He's not at the same level as Louis CK or Patton Oswalt, but he's also a lot younger than these gentlemen who have been honing their dark and brilliant comedy for decades now.
Modern Romance is not your typical "comedian writes a book" fare. It's not a memoir, or a book filled with ruminations on the life of a comedian. It's a thinky piece, backed up by real sociological research, with pie charts and everything! Ansari's approach to breaking down the ins and outs of dating and hooking up and settling down in the 21st century is as intriguing and compelling as it is infectious and informative. I loved every minute of it. The layout is light and breezy, and super accessible without distilling and dumbing down the subject matter too much as to be insulting to its audience. Ansari wants to make you laugh, make no mistake, but he's also very earnest in his desire to tell you what he's learned.
And can I just say I find all of it utterly FASCINATING. I'm addicted to "meet cute" stories (even though I would never consider myself a romantic, and have an averse reaction to rom-com movies -- that make me break out in hives). But how people meet and when they decide "to put a ring on it" (or not) can always get my attention. I have to check myself from being perpetually nosy all of the time, getting the "deets" on all this stuff from my friends, both of the online and the in real life variety.
For me, this book is too short. With its laudable success my hope is that Ansari will be compelled to pen a follow-up, because if there's one thesis that comes chiming out loud and clear here, it's that the 21st century dating world is changing fast, at warp speed, impacting how we communicate with one another, form bonds and friendships, and take that scary running leap into "the big commitment". A lot of the current research being done is showing that the bonds we form online, platonic or otherwise, can no longer be dismissed so easily as superficial and suffering by comparison to those we forge "IRL" (in real life). I do believe most of us on this site would concur that social media has opened up a "brave new world" that's not just brighter and more vibrant, but has proven increasingly successful in bringing colorful people into our lives that we otherwise would not have known existed, friendships that we now rely upon and cherish.
And that "modern romance" is blooming out of those virtual connections should really be coming as no surprise to anyone.
Ansari does an excellent job of pointing out the pros and cons of modern romance in the 21st century in all its tech'd out, geeked out splendor. We now have more choice than ever before, all at our fingertips with the click of a button or the swipe of a screen, but that landslide of choices might also be paralyzing some of us into making any choice at all. Our standards and expectations for a lifelong partnership might have been raised to exceptionally high, unreasonable levels too. With all that choice at our fingertips, why would we settle for anything less than AMAZING? That perfect "soul mate" who is going to fulfill every single one of our needs every day for the rest of our days. Pfft, people you know this: that person does not exist.
But it's not all bad news. Technology has not ruined romance for us living in the 21st century. In fact, for many of us, especially women -- things have improved vastly. Not because of the tech component, but because women are no longer expected to settle down as early as possible. We can invest in our careers now, and date more and live life as a single, learning about ourselves and the things that are going to make us happy if we do decide to pair off.
There are many areas (due to space constraints) that this book by necessity leaves unaddressed or goes light on, and Ansari is very good about pointing those out at the beginning. One thing missing for me is a breakdown of dating from an extrovert versus introvert point of view. I think our current technology has been an absolute miracle and marvel to introverts who struggle to put themselves out there in the real world of bars and supermarkets and church basements, but are absolutely charming and brave and socially high functioning on the interwebs. It's been an essential transition for that half of the human population to discover their "tribe" and connect in meaningful ways to people it would have been extremely unlikely they would have ever met IRL.
(and it's here I'm going to put a plug in for Felicia Day's memoir You're Never Weird on the Internet who also describes this "social revolution" for introverts in a way that resonated with me completely).
So in case it isn't obvious by now, I loved this book and I think everyone should read it, young/old, guy/girl, married/single. While it's easy to despair of the human race, and we know there are too many assholes and unforgivable idiots and sneaky jerkfaces running around out there, human behaviour and why we do the shit we do is still endlessly fascinating, isn't it? I think so.
Firstly, Andy Weir (he of The Martian fame) has written a fundamental, universal truth in this short, short story of his. It goes like this:Heh heh.
Firstly, Andy Weir (he of The Martian fame) has written a fundamental, universal truth in this short, short story of his. It goes like this: "Tip for all you guys out there: If a woman is asleep, let her sleep."
Secondly, it made me giggle (and I felt a certain kinship to the main character Annie).
A note about the audiobook -- I started listening to this one and it wasn't quite grabbing me. The text was falling flat for some reason and my mind wA note about the audiobook -- I started listening to this one and it wasn't quite grabbing me. The text was falling flat for some reason and my mind wandered a little too much. Debra Winger has a lovely delivery as the reader, but the audiobook just didn't work for me this time. So I abandoned it for the hardcover -- and finished it in one sitting I became that engrossed and enthralled, moved and inspired.
In June of 2015 I was lucky enough to attend the American Library Association conference held in San Francisco that year. Not only was it a thrill to be surrounded by 20,000 librarians from all corners of the library world, but the City by the Bay had been on my bucket list for years. It was a week of great food and much adventuring (including a day trip to Alcatraz), with thankfully no earthquakes. But the absolute highlight of the entire shebang was getting to see Gloria Steinem speak in person. Let me just say that at 81 years old, this woman has lost none of her charisma, style, and magnetic presence. She is as strikingly beautiful as she has ever been, and her generosity of spirit and kindness beam from her person like the warmth of a thousand suns.
Her latest book is a compilation of memories and reflection of a life lived on the road and what it means to be an "organizer" -- of social justice movements, of rallies, of connecting others. When most people think of Steinem they think "feminist" and "speaker" and "leader" but what she's spent most of her life doing is listening and that is what has made her so good at being all of those other things. To be a great organizer, you need to first listen, and from the listening will come empathy, understanding, knowledge, and new ideas. Now into her eighth decade, Steinem continues to listen, never one to believe she has learned all there is to know, or is now someone who carries all the answers to truth and justice and gender equality.
I was surprised to learn that Steinem is a nervous public speaker, and though she has spent a life doing it, still gets butterflies before getting up in front of a group of people. I can't imagine a life on the road as she has lived it, so very untethered. I am too much of a homebody to have ever been called to such a nomadic life, but there is a part of me that wonders what I've missed in the way of human connection and adventure. When she turned 50, Steinem finally purchased a home and began to nest, and though her nomadic adventures would persist at least now she had a place to return and rest and refuel. Maybe when I turn 50 I'll do the opposite and take to the road!
It's the surprise, the unexpected, the out of control. It turns out that laughter is the only free emotion--the only one that can't be compelled. We can be made to fear. We can even be made to believe that we're in love because, if we're kept dependent and isolated for long enough, we bond in order to survive. But laughter explodes like aha! It comes when the punch line changes everything that has gone before, when two opposites collide and make a third, when we suddenly see a new reality. Einstein said he had to be very careful while shaving, because when he had an idea he laughed -- and he cut himself. Laughter is an orgasm of the mind. ~Gloria Steinem, My Life on the Road