Aw, I really liked this book. Bridget's still a hot mess in manner of first two books but now she's a single mom because Mr. Darcy got blown up in a tAw, I really liked this book. Bridget's still a hot mess in manner of first two books but now she's a single mom because Mr. Darcy got blown up in a tragic landmine accident. Her two kids do sweet & inappropriate things, Bridget chews Nicorette, has a tawdry romance with a 29yo Butt Boy, and has a dysfunctional relationship with her mom. A lot of things are the same but some of the things are different this time around: Daniel is a skeezy drug addict (but sometimes babysitter for Bridget's kids) and there are way more sex scenes. Yay sex scenes! The beginning dragged a little for me but once I got thoroughly engaged it was hard to pull myself away. I enjoyed many laugh-out-loud bits. The ending was just so gosh darn sweet that I'm tempted to give it 5 stars but I'm restraining myself because it just wasn't a 5 star book. ...more
OMG this book took forever for me to get through. FOR-EH-VER! I thought Cas was annoyingly emo. Maybe like Han Solo but without the hawt smirk (Han! SOMG this book took forever for me to get through. FOR-EH-VER! I thought Cas was annoyingly emo. Maybe like Han Solo but without the hawt smirk (Han! Swoon!) The plot just moved soooooo slowly for me. There were little spurts of action-y bits but they didn't propel me for very long. There was no humor. There were no scary parts. I read reviews that said ADiB was scary. What? Did I accidentally skip those pages? Cas' mentor dude was like Giles from Buffy the Vampire Slayer except not funny - he was even BRITISH! CLICHES, I smirk at you! The Big Bad was a surprise so eh, I'll give this book another star than it probably deserves. Plus, I was motivated enough by the Big Bad's coolness (in spite of the rest of the book's lameosity) to check out the sequel from the library. Perhaps the sequel will be better than ADiB? There's really isn't anywhere to go except up. Sheesh. Oh, and the Big Bad kills the cat. Was that necessary? NO IT WAS NOT, KENDARE BLAKE CAT KILLER! Boooooooo! Boooooooo!...more
It was hard for me to figure out how to rate this book. I'd seen this on Netgalley but didn't act quickly enough to get a prepub ecopy. No matter, I gIt was hard for me to figure out how to rate this book. I'd seen this on Netgalley but didn't act quickly enough to get a prepub ecopy. No matter, I got it from the library. But before that I did some reconnaissance and found out that most of the negative reviews said that the author meanders around and while her writing is pretty snazzy not much happens. I was prepared for disappointment but I pushed all of that aside because gawdaggit, the premise just seemed so durn interesting so I decided to persevere. Bluebeard in pre-Civil War Deep South! Mark my predecessors' words, y'all: you will most likely be underwhelmed.
So keeping in mind that not much happens and the heroine likes to describe her clothes, her opulent but oppressive surroundings, and the exotic foods that her godfather/fiance/Bluebeard/warden eats, I wasn't bored. My experience was different from reading In the Shadow of Blackbirds (zzzzzz). It was putdownable but that isn't necessarily a bad thing because I went to sleep on time and wasn't glued to it until the very end. The words didn't annoy me intensely (as they did with In the Shadow of Boredom). I enjoyed the change of scenery from France to Mississippi. I liked the lil romantic angsty bits between heroine Sophia and Underground Railroad conductor/minister Gideon. Yay!
But yeah, in the end I agree with the other negative reviewers. I read and read and read and nothing happens and then all of a sudden I'm at the last 30 pages and I'm thinking, "WTF this book is almost over and nothing's happened..." and then all of a sudden BAM there's action-y stuff going on but it's kinda hokey, predictable action. And I'm not talking about the same kind of predictable-ness that you can expect because this is after all a retelling of Bluebeard and you know that that eh, there's danger now but just wait because her brothers are gonna burst in and save our heroine. No, this is the kind of predictable-ness you find on bad straight-to-Netflix movies. For example *** SPOILER*** our heroine Sophia is trapped in a church along with the bodies of Bluebeard fiance's dead wives, a dead wife's lover, and a dead wife's maid. Eeek! What will happen? Oh heavens, bite your nails for a lil bit but no worries because TA DA! Enter Sophia's maid who Sophia thought had run off to Memphis! Maid unlocks the church and launches into a Big Reveal of Who She Really Is and Why She's Really There. (Yes, because in moments of extreme danger and stress we all need to take some time out to explain our actions.) Then in the midst of her talking she stops suddenly and she falls forward and the reader finds out that OMG Blue Meanie Bluebeard has killed her with a sword and that's why the maid stopped talking! WHOA I'm sure that no one saw that coming!*** END SPOILER***
So I was kinda cranky that the Nickerson was moseying along and then started throwing bad movie cliches at me. Then she tied up the story with a very OCD tidy bow. I rolled my eyes a lot during the last few pages. Harumph. ...more
Really, really not among my Lurlene favorites. Perhaps I'm being overly harsh towards LM since I picked this up after finishing I am Forbidden on SatuReally, really not among my Lurlene favorites. Perhaps I'm being overly harsh towards LM since I picked this up after finishing I am Forbidden on Saturday. I wanted to read something cottoncandyfluffy that I could read in a day (okay, well, I COULD read it in an afternoon but it really took me four days) and didn't leave a bad taste in my mouth. I didn't want to use a whole lot of brain cells reading or thinking any deep thoughts at all. As far as brain cell conservation, Heart to Heart fulfilled its purpose, but as cottoncandyfluff, this was just BAD. Lurlene, girlfriend, you were NOT at the top of your game with this one!
Heart to Heart required me to brush off really dysfunctional behavior as a "wicked temper," guilt trips as not forgiving someone ("I've forgiven your dad, you should too!") and buy into hokey pseudoscience "cellular memory." Oooooooo! I can't even type that phrase without hearing gentle windchimes & wooden flutes from the Pandora spa station. Bleck!
**spoiler alert** Hahahahahah! Ha! Oh heavens, I hesitate to give this book 4 stars. Like really, 4 stars our out 5? Yeah, 4 whole stars. This wasn't**spoiler alert** Hahahahahah! Ha! Oh heavens, I hesitate to give this book 4 stars. Like really, 4 stars our out 5? Yeah, 4 whole stars. This wasn't a good book but dang, at this point in my elderly reading life, do I read Lurlene McDaniel for her complex prose, mind-boggling plot twists, or well-developed characters? Um, no. No, I most definitely do not. I read Lurlene McDaniel books because they're hokey and fun and there's Lifetime channel-esque drama and because her dialogue is so insanely lame that sometimes I vomit a little in my throat as I read. Yes, dear readers, I'm sadistic in that way. So anyhoo, I loved this book in the way that you love a large wad of sugary cake that you buy at the grocery store bakery at 2am, you know the ones with the 10,0000 ingredients and 5-inch layer of frosting and when you take a bite your teeth hurt and you go into a diabetic coma? Ahhhhhh... there's some good reading.
Should I divulge the plot? Yeah, I reckon so. There's this queenbee high schooler who's a fiery redhead. She has good grades and is student council president and dates the school jock. Bleck. There's this rebel loner dude who has a super secret crush on Redhead chick (I've actually forgotten all the characters' names! so sad!) Rebel Loner Dude has tattoos and when he was a younger thing he saw his parents die in a meth lab explosion. Rebel Loner Dude has a friend who's a girl and she's goth. Goth Chick luvs Rebel Loner Dude but you know it, dear readers, Rebel Loner Dude luvs Redhead Chick! Some freshmen punks set up a bomb at the high school that explodes the day before Thanksgiving. The bomb explosion kills the school principal and a teacher and Redhead Chick's boyfriend, and some other people. Redhead Chick goes blind and it turns out that her blindness turns out to be psychosomatic! Whoa! Rebel Loner Dude (and Goth Chick) help Redhead Chick recover from her psychosomatic blindness and get on with her life and then get a tattoo (of a red heart, get it?). Yay! ...more
**spoiler alert** Oh my gosh, if there was ever a poster child for just too many dang words, this book is it. I liked it at first because there's a ne**spoiler alert** Oh my gosh, if there was ever a poster child for just too many dang words, this book is it. I liked it at first because there's a nerdtastic heroine with supersekrit magical witch powers and a lot the "action" takes place in a special library with closed stacks, there's a an arcane, enchanted alchemical book, and a vampire! Oh, and the heroine has a lesbian aunt. Yay, I thought when I started reading. I will enjoy this book! So yeah, awesome in theory but in reality, not so much. The vampire dude, Matthew Clairmont, is all machismo and obnoxious, like an even more turdy Edward Cullen. You'd scoff, a more turdy Edward Cullen? Impossible! But yes, dear reader, yes, it is ENTIRELY possible. The supersekrit magical powers heroine is just annoying because she's determined not to use her magical powers but ends up using them all the time. The "action" goes from Oxford to a Fronch chateau, to upstate New Yawk with the lesbian witch aunt. The heroine looks at old alchemy books, plays on her laptop, drinks tea, eats food, goes rowing, goes horseback riding, drinks more tea, gets tortured by another witch, has some trippy visions involving her parents, gets rescued by her vampire bf, wields witchwater, wields witchwind, wields witchfire to kill a meany batshit vampire lady, and timewalks. Oh, and she drinks some wine and prepares food for her vampire bf. Turns out vampires like to eat nuts and berries and drink wine. Who knew? Really, I didn't care because it was just too many freakin'words. All the time with the words! Ugh! Could the author at least have thrown in a super nasty vampire-witch sex scene to make things a little more lively-like? No, apparently, she cannot. Grrrrr....
The last part of the book reminded me of the really boring parts of season 7 Buffy where the Scoobies and all the Slayers are plotting and scheming but in the case of ADoW, it's lesbian witches and hetero vampires and demons (spelled daemons *snort*). Whatever, Deborah Harkness, I shake my fist at you for getting me to read a long book that I thought to myself while reading, Any minute now, there's gonna be a sex scene! or Any minute now, the action will start. But no, the book ends and I closed it and simultaneously thought, OH MY FREAKING GOSH I'M SO THANKFUL I'M DONE! and WTF THERE'S ANOTHER FREAKIN' TWO MORE BOOKS AFTER THIS, REALLY?! Y'all, there's not even a wikipedia article on this book so that I could have saved myself and read that instead. Perhaps I should give this 3 stars because I MIGHT even be intrigued enough to see what happens in the 2nd book and actually read it but meh, I don't wanna, so 2 stars it stays....more
Eeeeeee!!!! I love reading about Chi's adventures with the ginourmous stoic cat and getting table scraps. This was very adorable and made me squeal wiEeeeeee!!!! I love reading about Chi's adventures with the ginourmous stoic cat and getting table scraps. This was very adorable and made me squeal with joy over the cuteness overload. I <3 Chi!...more
I started out alternately hatin' on (WTF? Her parents are paying for her to live in Paris for a month?) and liking (pages after pages of "This is whatI started out alternately hatin' on (WTF? Her parents are paying for her to live in Paris for a month?) and liking (pages after pages of "This is what I ate and it was soooo good,") this book. I heard about it from my absolutely favorite young adult literature blog Readingrants.org so I had high hopes, despite my extreme jealousy of her City of Lights living. Hrmph. The book's cover says something about exploring the relationship between mothers and daughters. Well, I must have skipped the page that explored said relationship because I missed it. I remember one sentence where Lucy says, and here I'll paraphrase, "Isn't it super weird that I feel like an independent adult when I'm alone but when I'm with my ma I regress and become akin to a wee infant?" You know, I think I would also feel like that if I went to Paris WITH MY MOM and MY MOM PAID FOR MY TRIP. Plus, despite what I said above about liking the food lists, it gets old real fast. The book is essentially this stuff over and over (and over...). "We got up late and then we went to an art museum and then I drank some milk - OMG THE MILK IS SO GOOD IN PARIS - and then I ate some foie gras because I totally don't feel guilty about how they treat those geese and then we bought stuff at a market and then we ate more foie gras and cornichons and then we went to sleep. And Americans are so fat and ugly compared to Parisians. The End" Lame-o! And she never tells the reader what a cornichon is, nor can you tell from her sparse drawings, though her drawing of a woman's large buttocks on the final pages is not sparse - it's just plain mean. Boooo! Thank goodness I checked it out from the library and didn't spend my money. ...more
Did I drop the F-bomb as much as Nick and Nora when I was in high school? I normally like David Levithan's writing but as Nick he was kinda annoying.Did I drop the F-bomb as much as Nick and Nora when I was in high school? I normally like David Levithan's writing but as Nick he was kinda annoying. It was short and the ending was sweet though. Yay for short and sweet!...more
Matilda comes home from walking her dog one chilly afternoon and finds an odd boy, gray-eyed boy waiting for her. Her visit with him triggers powerfulMatilda comes home from walking her dog one chilly afternoon and finds an odd boy, gray-eyed boy waiting for her. Her visit with him triggers powerful memories told in a parable-esque story about her lonely childhood with a cold, snobby mother, and distant, workaholic father. She also recalls finding and losing her one true love, a blissfully wild man she calls, I kid you not, Feather. Feather squelched his wanderlust and yen for talking to seagulls and agreed to live in a tranquil cottage in the forest with Matty. They were together for just over a year when Feather disappeared to chase the horizon ie. be himself. Matty then ventured forth on a quest in pursuit of both Feather and an answer to a question he left in his absence.
This novel can best be described as sweet. The heroine is sweet. The plot is sweet. The ending is very sweet. It may sound like I’m saying “sweet” like it’s Hallmark sweet; this is SO not the case. Harnett successfully spins a sweet philosophical yarn about love, loss, and remembrance. Its brevity and multi-layered storyline lends itself to repeated readings and book club discussion. However, it’s hard to imagine its target audience (young adults) reaching for this one for reasons other than its short length (190ish pages) without strategic booktalking. Aside from a sea monster battle between a kraken and a leviathan, the novel creaks along slowly and lacks action. Maybe that’s how parables are supposed to be? I’m trying to remember The Prodigal Son but I read that a long time ago. Matty is in love with flaky, flighty Feather but he has no job, no wardrobe aside from a pair of shorts, and seems to speak in only cryptic phrases. Whuh? Why? Feather is lame-o, y’all! But hey, it IS short and sweet. I wouldn’t complain if I had to read this for school. ...more
**spoiler alert** Most definitely NOT as good as I hoped it would be. When I read the description I thought it would be along the same lines of LJ Smi**spoiler alert** Most definitely NOT as good as I hoped it would be. When I read the description I thought it would be along the same lines of LJ Smith's The Forbidden Game series (yay!). I think at first I was just horrified that the poor protagonist was date raped by a classmate-possessed-by-an-evil-erlking/elf. Couldn't she have conceived her kid through regular old quasi-consensual sex? (or as consensual as you can get when your protagonist is being manipulated by an evil creature) Then I was bored and cheesed out by the near constant internal and external declarations of love between Lucy and her childhood BFF Zach - doodoo! Third, the fantasy element was practically nonexistent. You'd think that Werlin would have devoted more time to unraveling and solving the riddles, however, most of the novel was the noxious "I love her!" "I love him!" "We're married!" "Let's have sex! garbage between Zach and Lucy. Bleck. As I read and the plot became more and more silly, I was hoping that at least Werlin could end strong and try to redeem her writing. But no. The ending is hokey claptrap only a writer at Lifetime Movie Network could have dreamed up. This is my first Werlin novel but from what I've read in her other reviews, it certainly isn't her best. So maybe I'll recover from this and read The Rules of Survival. Hrmph. ...more
A big-tittied-girl named Theresa still lives with her parents even though she's 25. She's always been shy around new people and especially new men sinA big-tittied-girl named Theresa still lives with her parents even though she's 25. She's always been shy around new people and especially new men since they tend to gawk at her teeny frame and huge knockers (the author repeatedly mentions Theresa's teeny frame so you don't forget it). One day Theresa's brother brings home fellow band member and pal, Brian Scanlon. Brian has been secretly fixated on Theresa for awhile but she doesn't know it. Theresa falls in love with Brian over the Christmas and New Years holidays but she won't let him touch her breasts because of her body hang-ups and because some nasty dudes sexually harassed her in school. Can their relationship ever move to another level? Oh no! What will happen? Well, I'll tell you so you won't have to read it. There's a lot of annoying whining by Theresa, then some nauseating love letters between Theresa and Brian, and then Theresa meets with the school counselor who suggests that she consider breast reduction surgery. Theresa never thought it was an option because her mean mom told her to just buck up and deal with her hooters. Then Theresa has the surgery and doesn't tell Brian even though they're all in love. Brian gets out of the military and moves to Minnesota to live near Theresa and but ends up bitter when he sees her new small breasts in a cute top. Then they make up and he invites her to go swimming at his apartment where they have tender and romantic pre-marital sex after which he proposes. Yay!
This book was soooo lame. I could understand why Theresa had some social anxiety problems and was self-conscious but her character was so poorly drawn and so whiny you don't sympathize with her at all. Or at least I didn't. And LaVyrle Spencer's writing is at it's MOST melodramatic and treacly in this book I had some food reflux problems. Oh, and any book that has the phrase "virgin flesh" in it is bound to be crap. ...more
This is a book told by four characters, a la Spoon River Anthology, whose lives intersect on one dark, fateful night. Laurie is excited because high sThis is a book told by four characters, a la Spoon River Anthology, whose lives intersect on one dark, fateful night. Laurie is excited because high school sexpot Quin asked her out on a date. Quin wants to get into Laurie's pants and has a drinking problem. Jeremy is a carpenter dood (foreshadowing!) in love with Annalise. Annalise has to stay out late babysitting some kids who live on a mountain then takes her bike home instead of asking for a ride. Quin hits her with his car when he's had one too many beers, then both his dad and Laurie help cover up the accident. Quin's dad does it because he wants his son to get a baseball scholarship and Laurie does it because she blackmails Quin into being her boyfriend.
At times I forgot that I was reading a Lurlene McDaniel book. Except for the New-Agey-Out-of-Body-Experience part, this book was REALLY good. Lurlene used to skirt around the sex issue but one of her main characters gets a girl pregnant when he's 14. The Impregnator is the villain, so maybe there's a message there - Have Sex, Will Commit Manslaughter. Oh well, he's also the most interesting character in the book, as is Laurie who blackmails Quin but doesn't enjoy it. ...more