So I knew nothing about this “Twilight” other than it’s a book/movie series about vampires and pre-teens love it. Any book that makes kids read, well...moreSo I knew nothing about this “Twilight” other than it’s a book/movie series about vampires and pre-teens love it. Any book that makes kids read, well I guess I’m OK with it. I just read the first book. I’ll admit I flew through it. I’m not sure if it’s because it was pathetically easy to read, or if I was actually interested. It wasn’t very well written…but I finished it. Which is saying SOMETHING.
Stephanie Meyer writes like she was the ugly fat girl in high school with acne and no friends. She makes up this world where this awkward teenage girl that isn’t particularly important or pretty, somehow catches the attention of the most attractive guy in school (or in the world, as she makes it seem.) All the people in this school are friendly to her, and she immediately makes friends in the literal second she walks into the school.
The entire thing was ridiculous. The book rambles on aimlessly talking about every mindless detail of her daily life. What food she ate for breakfast, even. 3/4ths of the book is dedicated to Edward glaring at Bella. Bella falling in love with Edward. Edward repeating over and over that he’s dangerous. Edward creepily smelling Bella and touching her face all the time. Then at the VERY end of the book out of NO WHERE, she throws in 3 “bad” vampires that want to kill Bella. For no reason at all. Just because they can and they drink blood. I mean…there isn’t even a rise and fall. It’s just…stagnant and then suddenly she decides to stir the waters right as the book appears to be at it’s end. No build up at all.
Aside from ALL of this, I admit, I was engaged enough to finish the book. Even enough where I’m considering reading the rest, just to know that I did and can have a valid opinion of the entire story.
What really got me though, is this author. Man, is she an imbecile. She really can’t write worth a damn, and I don’t think a single one of her peers disagrees with me. It’s almost infuriating that someone can write as horribly as she does and become so outrageously popular. Don’t get me wrong, she can string words together. She can make a semi-coherent story. But it’s not BELIEVABLE in any way. Not because of the vampires. Because it seems as if she has no recollection of what it was like to be 17, or to be a typical teenage girl. What got me the MOST, is when a reporter asked her what her next series will be about. This is what she said,
“It’s a fantasy that takes place in another world where people are using bows and arrows and swords. There’s a little bit of magic, but it’s a very limited form of magic. The characters are human, and some have the ability to use magic and some don’t. It’s pretty dark. People die. The main character is a 17-year-old girl, and she’s kind of cool.”
I am literally laughing out loud as I read that. It’s not even a well formed train of thought!! “Uh…it’s a fantasy that’s in another world. They use weapons and stuff. There’s magic! But uhm…not really magic. The characters human and they sometimes use magic.” The best part: “It’s pretty dark. People die. The main character is a 17 year old girl, and she’s kind of cool.” AAHAHAHAHAH OH REALLY?
It sounds like an 11 year old describing her Twilight fan fiction.
Really, I would have read the next 3 Twilight books and taken them for what they were. Pre-teen fiction about a vampire that falls in love with a normal girl because she smells good. But the fact that Stephanie Meyer SOUNDS like a pre-teen girl whenever she opens her mouth, it just makes me believe that this book was written not for teens, but for Meyer’s own benefit. So she could live in some fantasy world where she was desired as a teenager by some amazing, fantastical, mysterious boy.
I’ll take a note from her book. If I want to make money in the literary world, I need to market my insecurities to pre-teen girls in a very dumbed-down fashion. Good to know.(less)
While Alice Hoffman has been one of my favorite authors for some time now, this book was slightly disappointing.
First off let me state that the scene...moreWhile Alice Hoffman has been one of my favorite authors for some time now, this book was slightly disappointing.
First off let me state that the scenery in this book is phenomenal. Leave it to Hoffman to paint a picture for us so vivid, that we feel like we are indeed there with the characters.
Character development is also well done, another one of Hoffman's positive attributes. However, the stories in this novel fall completely flat around such stand alone characters. Stories were never really developed and the endings of each made you feelings a little disheartened, hoping for something more.
Hoffman has always been good at telling many different stories and wrapping them all together with elegant connections, however these characters stories weren't as interesting as I had hoped they would be.
What I will give this book is that it was a nice read for something like the beach, or when you're waiting for a train. However it became one of those books I was hoping to finish as quick as possible so I could move on to another, more interesting one.(less)