haha, this book! what an odd title, so specific. "straight white men" ... it's like they are some fabled unicorn or something. but what about all thoshaha, this book! what an odd title, so specific. "straight white men" ... it's like they are some fabled unicorn or something. but what about all those poor straight not-white men who just want to hit it like bros and it's totally not gay but just uh bros hanging out? where is their study?
so I was at Barnes & Noble over the Christmas holiday with my nephews, ages 10 and 13, waiting for a late night showing of the latest Star Wars. it is my practice to shower them with books during the holiday season in a no doubt ineffectual attempt to make them read more and perhaps play sports and video games less. when at places like B & N, I usually tell them to pick a couple books that I'll buy for them. they made their choices that night and as I was waiting in the check-out line, they ran up and gave me a couple more books, and then hastily scampered off. on top was some book about Bobba Fett which instantly absorbed me. after I finished scanning that book and thinking that maybe I would borrow it, I looked at the second book underneath it and saw this one, Not Gay: Sex Between Straight White Men. I made a loud shocked noise and almost dropped it like it was on fire. the elderly gent behind me gave me a censorious look, glanced at the book, and then made his own own shocked noise while quickly looking away. the couple behind him craned their heads to see what the fuss was about and instantly started smirking to each other. and carefully hidden within a book aisle somewhere close, my nephews started laughing hysterically. they are good hiders and even better runners so it took me a while to find and then beat them (with this book)....more
hey did you know that every time a review includes a coughsmolderingcough image of the novel's hero & heroine, images of vacuously pretty models
hey did you know that every time a review includes a coughsmolderingcough image of the novel's hero & heroine, images of vacuously pretty models or ostentatiously pretty celebrities from Us magazine or various other perfectly pretty sticks of margarine... that every time a reviewer does that... a kitten or puppy dies?? truth!
this is because I literally have a basement full of kittens and puppies. every time I see a review like that, I go down to my basement and pick a particularly cute kitten or puppy. and then I smash it with the lead hammer I have surgically attached to the stump of my lost right hand.
" I'm smart, intelligent, an English Major, and a feminist who is completely against anything that portrays a character as sexist and racist."
hahahaha" I'm smart, intelligent, an English Major, and a feminist who is completely against anything that portrays a character as sexist and racist."
hahahahahahahahahahahaha! that is the funniest thing I've read all day! and I've been watching a marathon of Helix and that is so bad it is hee-larious. the reviews for this book gave me a case of the giggles. I don't even know what to say.
I sorta like the author because he loves Girls, one of the best half-hour shows ever. but the title & content of his blog? "Captain Cool As Fuck"... I dunno. I mean, there's irony, and then there's grindingly obvious irony. griony? obviony? grind-iron? grobny? that blog is so grobny. but it's sorta funny too.
all that said, it is highly unlikely I will be reading this because I deal with enough cancer in my day job and enough cannibals in my night life. but I wish I could add a question mark to my 'unread forever' shelf. "Unread Forever?" would be so much more accurate....more
so nice to see the topic of bullying being turned into a romance! that is definitely the way to deal with bullies. they just need hugs and kisses andso nice to see the topic of bullying being turned into a romance! that is definitely the way to deal with bullies. they just need hugs and kisses and your virginity! poor misunderstood bullies. Jared the manly wittle bully with daddy issues just needs to be wuved by someone. bullies just pick on you because they are secretly in love with you. why even bring up the idea that bullying can cause kids to kill themselves. that's not romantic, yuck!
in the words of one of our top reviewers:
"This may make me seem a little crazy- but I will just say it right now. I LOVE JARED. Okay, a lot of people loved Jared by the end of the book. Not me. I loved him the entire time I read this book. He was a jerk. An asshole. A bully. But there was just something about him that pulled me to him... I was rooting for him the whole book, so yay!"
gosh the author sure knows the right topic to choose to make some money. not a cynical choice at all! and I see that this is apparently the first book in a series. I wonder what the second book will be called. how about "Date Raper"? the wuveable misunderstood wapist just wants to wuv you!! as long as he's a hunk, who cares?
Joseph Nicolosi is an American clinical psychologist, founder and director of the Thomas Aquinas Psychological Clinic in Encino, California, and a fouJoseph Nicolosi is an American clinical psychologist, founder and director of the Thomas Aquinas Psychological Clinic in Encino, California, and a founder and former president of the National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality. He is also clearly a
read what this guy has to say about feminism and diversity & equality in the US:
"My position is not conservative because there is nothing left toread what this guy has to say about feminism and diversity & equality in the US:
"My position is not conservative because there is nothing left to conserve.
I describe feminism and equalitarianism as being unsustainable because they are ideologies that cannot be sustained for more than a short period of time once they become tangible policy measures. Once equalitarianism attains a certain amount of influence in a civilized society, that society is doomed, although the collapse is not necessarily instantaneous and the particular form it takes will vary. The speed with which the society collapses entirely depends upon the circumstances. It only took 15 years for Germany to go from democratic suffrage to totalitarian rule, whereas it took 72 years for a different equalitarian ideology, communism, to run its course in the Soviet Union."
"There is, quite simply, no such thing as human equality in any material sense. In fact, the latest genetic research on potential Neanderthal genes found in humans of non-African descent suggest that it is not entirely accurate to even assert that homo sapiens is not divided into various subspecies.
As for the myth of the American melting pot, it should suffice to point out that the idea was popularized by a Russian Jew who emigrated to England, never lived in the United States and was a fervent believer in the cause of establishing a Jewish homeland. Basing immigration policy on the idea of the melting pot is about as rational as setting foreign policy on the basis of the example set by the United Federation of Planets in Star Trek. It is not only fiction, but ignorant foreign fiction at that. The reality is that from the mid-17th century to the mid-19th century, the New England states had almost no immigration for 200 years. And, it is important to note that when the Irish did finally come to America, they were fewer, more culturally similar, and they came in a more gradual manner from farther away...
Since no one of national stature is willing to openly defend traditional American society, that leaves only the second path of conflict avoidance. White Americans will continue to vote with their feet, retreating slowly but continuously before the inexorable wave of migrationary expansion. Encouraged by the frailty of American society and the fragility of myth-based American political culture, what are still currently the fringe views of the Aztlan revolutionaries will rapidly become the mainstream opinion of Mexican irredentists in California, Arizona, New Mexico and Nevada.
Californians are already fleeing Southern California en masse. There is no way the elderly snowbirds of Arizona and the ex-Californians of Nevada are going to provide serious opposition to the ongoing migrational transformation. Only Texas, with its unique and expansive view of itself, combined with its history of violent conflict with Mexico, is likely to take action over time.
Melting-pot America was always a myth. There is no magic assimilation to replace the ruthless mathematics of demographic transformation. Precisely how the Lincoln-forged Union will fragment cannot be foreseen with perfect clarity at this point, but as recent events suggest, it should begin in the bellwether states of California and Arizona. Nor should Americans necessarily see this as a bad thing. After all, having waged numerous wars in favor of the human right to democracy and self-government everywhere from Austria-Hungary to Kosovo and Iraq, how can they reasonably deny the right of the Aztlan people of California to rule themselves in whatever way they happen to see fit?
There is a basic rule of democracy that many Americans appear to have forgotten over the years: If you don’t want to live in Peoria, don’t import Peorian voters."
read the racist screed that this scumbag spewed out in response to a recent Guest of Honor speech made by non-white author N.K. Jemisin at Continuum iread the racist screed that this scumbag spewed out in response to a recent Guest of Honor speech made by non-white author N.K. Jemisin at Continuum in Australia:
"Jemisin has it wrong; it is not that I, and others, do not view her as human, (although genetic science presently suggests that we are not equally homo sapiens sapiens), it is that we do not view her as being fully civilized for the obvious reason that she is not.
She is lying about the laws in Texas and Florida too. The laws are not there to let whites “just shoot people like me, without consequence, as long as they feel threatened by my presence”, those self defence laws have been put in place to let whites defend themselves by shooting people, like her, who are savages in attacking white people.
Jemisin’s disregard for the truth is no different than the average Chicago gangbanger’s disregard for the law…
Unlike the white males she excoriates, there is no evidence that a society of NK Jemisins is capable of building an advanced civilization, or even successfully maintaining one without significant external support. Considering that it took my English and German ancestors more than one thousand years to become fully civilised after their first contact with an advanced civilisation, it is illogical to imagine, let alone insist, that Africans have somehow managed to do so in less than half the time with even less direct contact. These things take time.
Being an educated, but ignorant savage, with no more understanding of what it took to build a new literature by “a bunch of beardy old middle-class middle-American guys” than an illiterate Igbotu tribesman has of how to build a jet engine, Jemisin clearly does not understand that her dishonest call for “reconciliation” and even more diversity with SF/F is tantamount to a call for its decline into irrelevance…
Reconciliation is not possible between the realistic and the delusional."
It seems like ages ago that Amazon and I met-cute while fox & dolphin hunting on a small private island reserve off of the Southern California coaIt seems like ages ago that Amazon and I met-cute while fox & dolphin hunting on a small private island reserve off of the Southern California coast. Oh how the years move by. And yet, after all the early displays of yearning and passion, after all of the screaming bouts of sadomasochistic blood-sport and nonconsensual body modification that constitutes our "love"-making, I am proud to report that our so-called love still stands strong, still runs deep. The sympathy and even the - dare i say such a maudlin word - "empathy" that Amazon has given me in support of my goal of utter global domination has been truly invaluable. And endearing!
Just last night, while enjoying a repaste of a light pear & walnut salad, fine wine, and a simple clarified butter & ginger sauce served over a minced infant crudo, I noticed my darling Amazon gazing fondly into my one good eye. Now Amazon knows that fond gazes always give me heartburn, so I inquired: what was amiss? Amazon smiled and stated lovingly that I looked like the sort of gentleman who would gladly destroy an independent bookseller if it meant 5 more dollars in my wallet. I replied "Surely you are not just now noticing this!" We laughed merrily and toasted each other. 'Tis a wondrous thing when forward-looking minds find themselves in meaningful agreement.
Later, we curled up to watch our favorite movie, the enchanting "You've Got Mail". Tom Hanks is so adorable when he is trying to run an independent bookseller into the ground!...more
one fine summer day, young mark monday - aged 4 or 5 - was tooling around the neighborhood on his Big Wheel. he was a happy lad and liked¡REVIEW #500!
one fine summer day, young mark monday - aged 4 or 5 - was tooling around the neighborhood on his Big Wheel. he was a happy lad and liked to make others around him feel happy too. this outlook soon saw its first challenge when he wheeled up to his friend Tommy - who looked miserable and had clearly been crying.
"What's the matter, Tommy?"
"Dad's going away!"
young mark monday was a military brat and so was Tommy, so mark knew exactly how he felt. he had felt the same way, many times. but he hated seeing his friend Tommy looking so upset. he thought for a moment, and as his thoughts tended to do, they moved towards his favorite shows, Sesame Street and Electric Company. what happened when kids had problems on those shows, problems that they didn't know how to solve? why, they sang about them! and then the problems just didn't seem so big anymore. and so young mark sang.
"Don't be sa-ad, Tommy! Just be gla-ad, Tommy! The sun is bright, Let your heart take --"
mark was silenced when Tommy suddenly picked up a rock and smashed it right into his face. then Tommy ran off. mark sat there stunned... then slowly rode his Big Wheel home, crying and bleeding. from that day on, he knew the dangers of trying to turn a frown upside down....more
once there was a little boy. he had a big dream: to rule the world! and so he enacted his strategy. first, as a youth: become a bully. mission accomplished! second, as a husband and father: become an animal abuser. mission accomplished! and finally, as a public figure: seek out the true powers of the world, this earth's secret rulers: the Business Community... and for them, become a
will the boy achieve his vision of world dominance? stay tuned!...more
"Hilarious and intriguing. Ghosts, families, religious factions. A homosexual rape scene, so it is a comedy. P
the Goodreads pop-up add for this book:
"Hilarious and intriguing. Ghosts, families, religious factions. A homosexual rape scene, so it is a comedy. Physics and love.
ha ha, didn't realize that rape was ever funny! "homosexual rape" must be even more funny! the very idea of homosexual rape is pure hilarity! probably just putting the word "homosexual" in front of "rape" should be enough for a whole day's worth of belly laughs! homosexual rape must be an hysterical experience! i think about it and i just laugh and laugh and laugh! hahahahaha, homosexual rape! so many lolz!
i'd really love to meet the person who wrote that pop-up ad so i could share my appreciation of their writing! let me just sit here for a moment and consider what would probably be a gut-bustingly hilarious conversation.
"But this time it is different. The awakening from the episode, the restoration of clarity and consciousness a
sometimes his prose can be quite lovely
"But this time it is different. The awakening from the episode, the restoration of clarity and consciousness are swept outward, away from the tangible familiarities of the sitting room. Her desk and the beloved star-patterned floor rug are given flight, along with the fine drapes that clutch at the broken window, hesitantly, then finally let loose to succumb to winter's wind."
but sometimes his prose can be a bit less than lovely
"Mark - Sounds like you have a thing for boys dressed up like trolls, you need to see someone for that you creepy boy hunter. They'll trick you out in prison and oh yeah, SNAP your garbage neck. Twist on the end of that dildo breath."
and a bit less than charming
from Chris Roberts to Miracle Jones subject Re: The Editor as a Goodbye
Nobody takes you seriously - I know, you're a pig twat. Fiction Circus - you got that right. Ah, the lowly zine that is your destiny tampon breath.
oh, Chris Roberts.
Chris! listen, please! that Pushcart nomination happened almost a decade ago! "Hazy Shade of Winter" is just a short story! (although no doubt an interesting one.) constant internet trolling does not count as a literary endeavor! get off of Goodreads, Facebook, Twitter, Amazon, FailedWriter, Manscape, and the dozens of other internet sites that addict you... and get back to work! seriously, your public deserves it! both of them!
before i sign off, here's a little gif that can help you with the problems you appear to be having with your Twitter account:
"Where do you get all these insults and nonsense? What did I do to you? An Author recommends you his books and that’s so terrible? You don’t have to
"Where do you get all these insults and nonsense? What did I do to you? An Author recommends you his books and that’s so terrible? You don’t have to accept him, this is a free country. By the way, large and small publishers do that all the time. Don’t you know that? If you knew how difficult it is to sell books you wouldn’t be spewing such idiotic remarks. You were offended? You must be joking."
"My books were rated ‘five stars’ by the top rated professional reviewers in the US like The Midwest Book Review, The US Review of Books, Apex Reviews. I did not ‘self-rate’ them, they were rated by professional agencies. Why didn’t you go to my website and find out my qualifications before writing your thoughts."
"Why do I go to different groups and try to get readers? Because the paid-for promotions do not work, they are just a waste of money. Do you get it? Asking people to read my books is not spamming. It becomes spamming if you ask the same person more than once. You don’t have to read them, you don’t seem bright enough to read them."
"Where’s the editing in my ‘profile’ so bad? What are you talking about? You must be on drugs."
"You seem to be an uneducated ‘who knows what’ and you dare critique me. I am a Professional Engineer in Pennsylvania, New Jersey and Ohio and I hold a MS degree from the NY Polytechnic with nine A’s in a hard technical area. Also, I speak three languages. I think you are influenced by the fascist and communist trash. Of course, you could not figure it out, could you?"
"I did not spend my life scribbling idiot stuff (paranormal, etc.) that you ‘think’ is great writing. I was working as a professional man all over this country. They took your money and you didn’t even know it. They got wealthy and you got poorer. They are all laughing at you and your naïve buddies."
"Mind your own business, will you?"
real life authors-gone-wild type comments, courtesy of The Haters Club.
(view spoiler)[woah, wait a sec... The Haters Club? i was kicked out of that group! now how on earth could a sweet, mild-mannered gent like myself ever get kicked out of a group? well, apparently some burning flames of hate are too hot for even The Haters Club to handle. ~ takes a bow ~
For those women who are wondering if there is a little sugar in their husband's pants, and who are unfortunately unable to purchase this remarkable toFor those women who are wondering if there is a little sugar in their husband's pants, and who are unfortunately unable to purchase this remarkable tome... _________________________
SECRETLY GAY HUSBAND:
✔ SUSPICIOUS BEHAVIOR PATTERN CHECKLIST ✔
1. Walks and Talks in a Stereotypically "Masculine" Manner.
2. Disinterest in Apparel, including Disinterest in Washing Jeans, Ability to Wear Same Clothes for Days at a Time, Leaving Boxers Here & There.
3. Strong Interest in Beer, including both Microbrews & Cheap-Ass Beers. Also including Home Brewing Techniques, Kegerators, St. Patrick's Day.
3a. Beer Belly.
4. Disinterest in Cooking, Cleaning, Laundry, Shopping, Feeling. Conversely: the Ability to Mow Lawn, Throw Out Trash, Walk Dog, Work on Car, "Fix Things", Eat Food, Sleep, and Protect Mate.
5. Inability to Empathize, including Inability to provide Extended Bouts of Active Listening. Tendency towards Yelling when Angry, Retreating into Sullen Silence, Refusing to Admit Conflict Exists.
6. Current or Past Membership within a Fraternity. Including Past Participation in Beer Pong, Beer Bongs, Keg Stands, Body Shots, "Shirts-Off Parties", and/or Rounds of High-Fiving (and not including "Eiffel Towers", which are Completely Straight) during Fraternity or Fraternity-Type Frolics.
7. Any Amount of Time at Strip Clubs featuring Women. Attendance at Spring Break Parties and/or Bachelor Parties featuring Strippers and/or Girls Gone Wild. Automatic Bustline Head-Drift. An Interest in Lesbianism.
8. Friend Circle is made up of "Straight Men". Activities with "Straight" Male Peer Group can include Hunting Trips, Poker Night, Paintball, Tailgating, Pick Up Basketball, Las Vegas Trips, and Secretive "Guys' Night Out".
9. Refusing to Dress Up "Just for Fun" in Lady Garments. Refusing to Make Out with Other Blokes, except for That One Time. Refusing to Hold Hands with Another Man while Walking in the Park on a Lovely Spring Afternoon.
10. Denies Being Gay..... Methinks the Lady Doth Protest Too Much! _________________________
If your husband exhibits any of the above tendencies, I'm afraid I may have some troubling news for you......more
a completely off-topic review... dedicated to my favorite secret group: The Legion of Doom!
How mark monday Got Himself Placed on the Honors Track in Ha completely off-topic review... dedicated to my favorite secret group: The Legion of Doom!
How mark monday Got Himself Placed on the Honors Track in High School and So Became a Smashing Success in Life... through Fighting and Lying!
in 9th grade, on my last day of school before moving from Virginia to Orange County (mid-school year), some joker told me that he was happy i was moving. so i grabbed my lunch tray and proceeded to bash it over his head repeatedly. i hate people who are discourteous!
in the Vice-Principal's office, i was told "This is the Last Time. You are Suspended for a week!"
to which i responded: "ha, ha, this is my last day, i'm moving to California tomorrow, stupid!"
and to which i was told: "We will hold your records until you have served your suspension, no matter where you go." ... Uh Oh
so in beautiful, peaceful, sunny-beyond-belief Orange County, California, i went in to register for my new life, second semester 9th grade. i got my id, filled out the forms, was told to return in a week, when school started up again after the break.
but that next week, they were perplexed - for some reason, my old school wasn't sending me my records! and yet my old school was also not communicating (God Bless Administrators Everywhere) and so my new school did not know what was going on. the trusting administrators at Los Alamitos High then just went ahead and asked me this key question:
Why Don't You Just Tell Us What Classes You Were In?
it was a make-it-or-break-it moment. in Virginia, i was purely Average. i was average at being average. but i was struck with inspiration and decided to lie and put myself in all of the Honors Classes. Advanced English, Advanced This and That. and they believed me! i couldn't believe my good fortune.
so merrily i went to Mrs. Bennett's Honors English class. upon walking in, i noticed they were doing some foofy role-play about The Illiad - which i had read like 3 years earlier. i thought to myself man they saw right through me! I'm back in Average Classes.
ha, i quickly realized i was wrong! the academic standards in California were so low in comparison to Virginia (and South Bend, Indiana, where i went to school before Virginia), that Honors English was actually not just equivalent to regular ole English in those other states... it was actually far less challenging. goodbye, Average Kid. hello, new Straight-A Student!
relevance to the book in question
very little, except i sorta did go the Orange County High School of the Arts... back when it was located at Los Alamitos High School. The School of the Arts was an odd kind of add-on to Los Al, and so folks from all over the O.C. came to Los Al for this Arts Program that went on before and after the regular classes. since then, the Orange County High School of the Arts chose Santa Ana as its high school site.
i wonder why? maybe because of these types of shenanigans:
Los Al was also the site of much controversy in the late 80s, when a School of the Arts student was not allowed to exhibit her explicitly lesbian painting - unless it was covered up and the tagline "Let me live for the day when two women can love each other in peace" was changed to "Let me live for the day when two people can love each other in peace". Happily, the ACLU got involved and swinish school principal Carol Hart had to relent. Uncovered lesbianism on display at Los Al!
Much later, a certain Mayor of Los Alamitos got himself into a bit of trouble because of a so-called "joke" email he forwarded. That email was "An Obama Easter", featuring watermelons on the White House lawn.
(view spoiler)[Los Al and its past teachers have been on my mind a bit.
one day in Mrs. Busenkell's Advanced Placement English Class for sophomores, we were given a typically bizarre assignment: pick a student, follow them around, study their actions, report back in an essay. Being the new Straight-A (well, not really) Go-Getter that i was, i chose to spy on 2 people. the first person, someone i liked. the scond person... an Ex-Friend. my report on him was scathing. lots of "he is a follower" and "he laughs at everyone's jokes like he wants a medal" and "superficial trend-lover" type comments. etc. Mrs Busenkell couldn't believe someone could write such a savage report on - get this - one of her son's best friends. so with typical Los Al professionalism, she shared my report with my Ex-Friend. what kind of teacher does that? apparently a Los Al kind of teacher, circa mid-80s. her decision to share one student's paper with another student exacerbated tensions between me and that Ex-Friend for years. he finally got around to telling me about it at a recent birthday, after i guess finally making peace with it some time ago. i had thought that paper was private and could never figure out why my old Ex-Friend never warmed up to me, even after we had resolved our differences. and so a potentially great friendship between two queer teens was nipped in the bud due to teacher shenanigans. believe me, my friend could have used some support - being a closeted gay teen was no picnic for him, while being queer has always been no problem for me. maybe i could have helped him not go down some rather questionable paths if that wedge hadn't been driven so deep.
mark monday, age 10: "Can I spend the night at Marc Morton's house?"
Mom: "Always spending time with Marc Morton! What do you two do? Do you have a girmark monday, age 10: "Can I spend the night at Marc Morton's house?"
Mom: "Always spending time with Marc Morton! What do you two do? Do you have a girlfriend yet? Your uncles had girlfriends when they were younger than you. The Philippines makes men! Where is your girlfriend?"
mark: "Can I spend the night at Marc Morton's?"
Mom: "Do you have a girlfriend yet?"
mark, age 15: "I do. Her name is Jamie. You've met her. She lives down the street."
Mom: "Is she white?"
Mom: "You can have her spend the night here if you want."
Mom: "Do you have a girlfriend yet?"
mark, age 20: "No! I don't know if I even like girls!"
Mom: "Well, I do. Her name is Deanna and she lives down the street."
mark: "Are you serious?"
Mom: "Yes I am. I don't care what anyone thinks. She's black and she's beautiful and we teach aerobics together and your father doesn't mind."
mark: "Well okay then."
Mom: "Do you have a girlfriend yet?"
mark, age 25: "No, you know I don't. I have a boyfriend. Tom. You've met him, many times!"
Mom: "He is a very nice man and a good friend to you. But he's not a gay. He was a marine, remember?"
mark: "Mom, come on, I live with him!"
Mom: "Do you have a girlfriend yet?"
mark, age 30: "Yes, I do. She's Turkish and her name is---"
Mom: "I don't believe you. What is a Turkish? Is she white?"
mark: "No, she's not"
Mom: "Well, it's your life. I met some very nice Filipinas at the gym. I think you would like them. They are very sweet and submissive."
Mom: "Do you have a girlfriend yet?"
mark, age 40: "No. Sigh."
Mom: "Do you have a boyfriend yet?
mark: "No. Sigh."
Mom: "What is wrong with you? I want more grandchildren! You need to date someone and give me more grandchildren!"
Mom: "You should date a white woman, a girl in college. Those women like older men. You should teach at a college. Find a beautiful girl. Or someone. What is wrong with you?"...more
seriously? "THE COLOR OF HER PANTIES"? like for real? this book exists and is not just some crazy joke? am i high right now or something? it's like Piseriously? "THE COLOR OF HER PANTIES"? like for real? this book exists and is not just some crazy joke? am i high right now or something? it's like Piers started reading all those comments about how pervy he can be and was like Fuck It, the secret's out, everyone knows i'm a perv, i'm just gonna go for it, FUCK YEAH! PANTIES WILL BE IN THE TITLE GODDAMNIT!
i'm not really even trying to hate on Piers Anthony. i know like every fourth review of his books talks about how he is perverted and maybe even a pedo. i dunno. my jury's still out. he's definitely a perv (i could care less about that) and some of his more gruesome stuff gets dark & sick... but i'd be hard-pressed to say his books are pedophilic. or maybe i'm just stupid & sentimental, because i loved a lot of his books as a kid. his kid stuff like Xanth and especially his more complex spiritual-scifi books as well. like Macroscope & Battle Circle & Mute & the Cluster/Tarot series: all awesome. so anyway - i'm not one of those folks who automatically dismisses the guy.
but this fuckin title. really. it is unreal. i'm rarely ashamed (more of a guilt type of person) but i'd be way too embarrassed and probably ashamed to even buy this via anonymous amazon. i can't imagine hitting that Buy button with this title in the cart. my God, what would my postman think if this package accidentally ripped open? i'd much rather be caught with straight-up porn! and i just find it hard to believe that anything with such a crazy-bad title could ever be remotely good. am i wrong? someone prove me wrong!...more