That awkward moment when a book tells you it will be about gay marriage, racial violence, and art, but it's actually about pedophiles' innermost thougThat awkward moment when a book tells you it will be about gay marriage, racial violence, and art, but it's actually about pedophiles' innermost thoughts and memories, multiple forms of child abuse, the KKK, this one craaaazy flood, a well where everyone throws their murder victims, ghosts, idiot starlets, generations of people who destroy their lives irrevocably in domino-like poor decisions, and a likable character who ends up with the absolute worst ending out of everyone....more
**spoiler alert** I liked it very much. Loved? No. Lots is lost when you rely on stage directions to replace literary prose. It's hard to see Harry gr**spoiler alert** I liked it very much. Loved? No. Lots is lost when you rely on stage directions to replace literary prose. It's hard to see Harry grown up, especially when he acts like a boring, staid adult. His parenting struggles feel too real. Paradoxes (all the time travel!!) hurt my head. And a mental picture I never, ever needed in all of my life (GIANT MAJOR SPOILER AHEAD)
is Voldemort getting it on with weird frizzhead Bellatrix Lestrange. HARD PASS....more
I wanted so much more from this book. The Deep End of the Ocean is one of my all-time favorite books. Unfortunately, I feel like Mitchard's writing isI wanted so much more from this book. The Deep End of the Ocean is one of my all-time favorite books. Unfortunately, I feel like Mitchard's writing is getting worse instead of better. I really didn't like Still Summer, and this book has the same problem; Mitchard thinks we want action and suspense, and I don't. I just want character development and, in this case, to catch up on much-loved characters from another book. This doesn't happen AT ALL. All I got was that Pat and Beth are stinking rich now and live in Barrington - uh, I mean Harrington, Vincent is still tormented and irresponsible but arty, Kerry sings, and Ben/Sam doesn't feel like he belongs and got himself a materialistic child bride, Candy's adopted daughter. Blah. The survivalist stuff as they go off to rescue Stella? Inane. Uninteresting. This was such a disappointment....more
Oh Stephenie Meyer. You are such a horrendous writer. You are such a WONDERFUL storyteller. This was the best of all the Twilight books, and here areOh Stephenie Meyer. You are such a horrendous writer. You are such a WONDERFUL storyteller. This was the best of all the Twilight books, and here are the whys:
SPOILER ALERT (oh, and I gave up swearing for Lent, so there will be no cursing in this review, which will be difficult):
1. Bella finally comes into her own in this book. Yes, she continues to be a selfish whiner (begging Jacob to stay with her during her revolting pregnancy, causing him and Edward pain; COMPLAINING about someone making her beautiful and throwing her a fancy wedding and giving her a nice car), but she gets INTERESTING. My, I've waited a long time for Bella to become interesting. No more whining about her clumsiness and blushing, b/c now that she's a vampire, she can't blush, and she is all kinds of graceful. Of course we still have to hear constant REMINDERS that she can't blush or stumble anymore, but you can't expect things to be perfect. (She is kind of a pathetic mother IMO, though.) She's still the worst character in the entire series, of course, but she is finally vaguely tolerable and I was okay with her surviving the Volturi.
2. Sex! Glorious sex. Of course Meyer is all shy and never describes anything, but I've got an imagination way better than any kind of awkward scene she'd write, throwing "we mated deeper than any couple had ever mated" or something in there, so it's definitely for the best that she only hinted at it.
3. Jacob and Edward as not-enemies is awesome. I am sure all the emo teens out there wanted their rivalry to continue, but I loved the "my brother, my son" thing. Kinda made me well up.
4. Totally loved all the descriptions of life as a vamp. I think I want to be a vampire when I grow up. ;)
1. Is "Renesmee" not the worst name ever? It has to be the epitome of horrendous knocked-up teenage mother name choices. All it needed was a superfluous "y."
2. The imprinting thing on toddlers and babies = gross. I don't care that they don't "see it that way." I'm glad Jacob got to be not-sad anymore, but ewwwwwww.
3. Why did Meyer leave Leah hanging and not give her a happy ending? She deserved one more than Bella did. I hope she ends up imprinting on Embry or something. Wasn't it Embry who didn't have anyone yet? Or did he have Kim? Ugh, I can't even remember. Anyway, Leah needed a happy ending. I love the Clearwaters.
4. So since Bella is obviously a woman, physically, how come none of the Cullens ever attacked her when she had her period? Okay, I know that's nasty, but seriously. Especially with their refined senses of ... scent. I find this very hard to believe, especially thinking of the way Emmett (or was it Jasper?) almost killed Bella when she got a paper cut on her 18th birthday, or when Rosalie went for broke during the MOST DISGUSTING C-SECTION IN ALL OF HISTORY.
I really liked this book. I feel only a modicum of shame. Okay, more than a modicum. But whatever. ...more
Oh GODDAMMIT. I loved this book, hate myself, and am officially sucked into the Twilight crap. But for the record:
1. Bella really, really, really needOh GODDAMMIT. I loved this book, hate myself, and am officially sucked into the Twilight crap. But for the record:
1. Bella really, really, really needs to die. She is a horrible person, worse than she even pretends to think she is. She has NO - yes, I mean zero - redeeming characteristics whatsoever. hate hate hate hate hate hate
2. Stephenie Meyer must be grateful to have 3 sons. Her male characters rock. Her female characters are straight-up assholes.
3. Jacob is awesome.
4. Both Jacob and Edward are too good for Bella.
Now I'm going to go berate myself for turning into a 16-year-old and hope Breaking Dawn is available from the library soon....more
Hmmmm. I read this so I would have basis for making fun of all my Twihard nerd friends. And for most of the book, I was like, "Dear Bella, please effiHmmmm. I read this so I would have basis for making fun of all my Twihard nerd friends. And for most of the book, I was like, "Dear Bella, please effing die." But then I got sucked in at the part that was all scary and creepy (note I am keeping quiet about what that is so I don't spoil it), and now I think I will probably read the next one until suicide seems like a better option than continuing. Don't call me TEAM EDWARD, but I suppose I just want to know what happens next....more
I actually REALLY enjoyed it and have spent the last 3 days methodically making sure I tried every possible ending. The author is obsessed with meth,I actually REALLY enjoyed it and have spent the last 3 days methodically making sure I tried every possible ending. The author is obsessed with meth, abortion, and tragic death, but other than that, it's very entertaining. :) Can't wait to read Million Little Mistakes!...more