This is a self help book that explains in simple terms attachment theory and helps readers approach healing their own relationships. Very basic with eThis is a self help book that explains in simple terms attachment theory and helps readers approach healing their own relationships. Very basic with exercises and good self care tips....more
I've read this book twice, the first time I bought it, at great expense, and then let it go. Next, I got it on inter-library loan after it was referreI've read this book twice, the first time I bought it, at great expense, and then let it go. Next, I got it on inter-library loan after it was referred. Not a very compelling read, but has some good information.
Of the three books on unavailable mothers this was by far the best. Real stories from interviews. The only thing that would have made it better wouldOf the three books on unavailable mothers this was by far the best. Real stories from interviews. The only thing that would have made it better would have been to have each woman's story stand alone. It was divided by stages of life (for example: Adolescence; middle childhood) and so the continuity of each woman's story was lost. Very moving in many cases. ...more
Some of the truisms and definitions that stood out: Pride means knowing, intractably, what you want. To frustrate someone is to make void what they wantSome of the truisms and definitions that stood out: Pride means knowing, intractably, what you want. To frustrate someone is to make void what they want. Entitled—not to question the reality of what one is entitled to. Collusion spares anxieties. Paranoia is the attitude of overinterpretation in the service of survival. Psychoanalysis, as a treatment, is an opportunity to recover the freedom not to know or be known, and so to find out what people might do together instead. States of conviction are attempts to regulate excitement. To produce something is to extricate ourself from something. Solutions becoming more of the problem—is one of the definitions of neurosis. Symptoms are always a form of self cure; you first hear about your problem from your proposed solutions to it.
Adam Phillips is a British psychoanalyst. He uses Shakespeare's plays, a variety of poets and psychologists to go deep in five chapters: On Frustration, On Not Getting It, On Getting Away With It, On Getting Out of It, and On Satisfaction. At times it is difficult to read, he has a very flowery and convoluted way of writing using many words, but I found many gems and deeper understanding. It was mentally stimulating and I look forward to reading more of his writing....more
Healing the Wounds of Childhood is an excellent view of the introduction of somatic therapies and their history intertwined with psychotherapy. Don StHealing the Wounds of Childhood is an excellent view of the introduction of somatic therapies and their history intertwined with psychotherapy. Don St. John, a PhD level psychologist, has a rich background and uses his own history to show how integrating the body into therapy is a key component of change. I appreciated his explanations of stress, how our birth affects us, and how trauma, not just the big T or PTSD, is derived from many experiences including our primary birth experience and our time in the womb. Like him I started out with traditional therapy, like him I began to explore body work and found that this work through the body accentuated my growth, like him I came to a similar conclusion, "I could have stayed in talk therapy forever and would not have explored the depths I have managed to reach once I included the somatic therapies in my healing regimen. As important and valuable as good psychotherapy is, it is not enough." He has an excellent chapter that defines sensory motor amnesia (SMA) and how it equals the chronic tension so many experience.
He explains in great detail the brain, our nervous system, and the 'heart brain.' He is a living example of the fluid work of Continuum movement, a work I myself have practiced since 1988. His doctor said it was a miracle, how he was able to walk around during and after a massive heart attack. And once discovered and having had a major surgery he healed exceptionally fast. He is a wounded healer who had an extremely abusive childhood, which he also uses in the book to show exactly how it affected his life and how he was able to change himself for the better.
One of the questions Emilie Conrad, the founder of Continuum, asked first about the ability of a person to heal, "How exhausted is the person?" This is a key question for healing. We live in a speeded up environment, and Continuum is a process of slowing down and feeling into our fluid system. Don St. John writes an excellent, readable, explanation of how the interweavings of mind and body works. He utilizes his process of healing to exemplify how he was able to heal fast and well because of the fluidity he adapted through a variety of body therapies: he worked with Ida Rolf, who worked through fascia doing structural integration; he worked with Wilheim Reich, he worked with emotions and muscles, and he worked with Continuum Movement, with Emilie Conrad, she worked through the fluids of the body, and also he worked with Tom Hanna, who worked through the muscles, brain and antonomic nervous system. He studied with and had amazing experiences with many masters in the field. Also, with Peter Levine who founded Somatic Experiencing (SE), which works with trauma, and Diana Fosha who founded Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychtherapy, who works at the charge to let love into our being. And there are more.
Not everyone can follow this long journeyed path, but we can gain from this excellent book and he gives us leads on how to find the sources. My only wish for the book is that it have an index. It has a great Bibliography at the back and is an incredible resource, I recommend to every therapist and lay person who is on a healing journey....more