I decided to get this book as a part of Kindle Unlimited. To be fair,...moreThis is one of the worst books I've ever read.
I'm not kidding.
I decided to get this book as a part of Kindle Unlimited. To be fair, this is not my normal read, but it was one of the most popular downloads, I checked it's ratings on goodreads, it had a shit ton of ratings averaging 4.25 and I've read a lot of wonderful books classified as YA, so I said to myself "What the hell." But soon I was asking myself "What the hell??"
Here, enjoy a nugget of shittasitic prose....
“At least one thing is certain: Chris and I are inextricably connected. Do I have factual reasons to know this? Proof? Assurances? No None. Some people believe in God; I believe in Chris.”
'I believe in Chris." ????? WTF?
I also began to wonder about the title, Left Drowning. That maybe it was in reference to all the bodily fluid byproduct from all the masturbation and sex Blythe and Chris engaged in during the course of this book. How innocent bystanders may have been harmed by the shear volume.
Oh the humanity.
Nothing, not one word written in this book was sexy and/or hot. I cannot stress this enough. Sure, there were cocks, and pussies (not the cute feline kind), asses and cocks and clits...oh my! All of it was gross.
“We run through the remnants of our pain, and more importantly, we run for our present and for our future. Together we kick heartbreak's ass.”
What I worry about most is how many people loved this book and found it profound in some way and rated it five stars. Normally, it do not judge people by the books they enjoy, but good god people, this is not great literature.
I don't rightly know to tell the truth. I listened to about half of the book and upon realizing I still had as...moreWhat did I think of this book.....hmmm.
I don't rightly know to tell the truth. I listened to about half of the book and upon realizing I still had as much to slog through as I already had, I gave up. I really tried to follow it. I was doing really well, but then I realized at some point that I didn't know what was happening. But this, I decided was okay because nothing was happening....at all.
But I kept going for awhile. I would hear a character's name that I found mildly interesting and would pay attention, but then I would drift off again.
Something I've noticed about women of this era fainted at the drop of a hat. Just walking down a hallway and BAMB! Fainted. Seem's like an emotional shock is all it takes for a woman to loose consciousness. I find that I go about my daily life fully conscious until I decide not to be any more. It just doesn't happen randomly.
I don't know if people really spoke in a repetitive manor back in that time period, or if the authors (because nothing ever happened) wrote that way for filler. Nothing annoys me more than repetition*. I know one thing for sure, there were characters named 'Peggety' (I have no clue if this is the correct spelling, because I listened to it) in this book. 'Peggety' was said over and over and over...... Arrrggghhh!
I also learned it was perfectly acceptable that a man name David could have a nickname of Daisy, no one thought it was weird that he was suddenly being referred to as Daisy.
***I began to wonder if this was a 'thing', this hating with a white hot anger, repetition and certain sounds (and movements), so I looked it up and it WAS! It's called Misophonia....Oh well, what's another neurological disorder?(less)
Brown Dog, or B.D., is a simple man of simple needs and simple pleasures. These are in no particular order, sex, alcohol, cooking, sex, nature, sex, m...moreBrown Dog, or B.D., is a simple man of simple needs and simple pleasures. These are in no particular order, sex, alcohol, cooking, sex, nature, sex, menial work, alcohol, fishing, sex, alcohol....etc.
The 'Dog' part of B.D.'s name is supposedly because it's his spirit animal being a dog, but I think he lives up to it in other ways.
This book is a series of novellas about B.D., part white and part Chippewa, who lives in the U.P. of Michigan(I hear it's lovely.) He is a man who has mastered the art of living one day at a time on as little money as possible. Subsistence living (I'll pass).
He survives by living in shacks in the woods and doing odd jobs, like shoveling snow (The U.P. has a lot of that I reckon) hunting and fishing and growing some veggies. He was orphaned when young, raised by his white grandfather and later lives with his Chippewa uncle to take care of him in his old age.
Sounds a bit dull doesn't it?
Well B.D. finds ways to entertain himself. He takes long walks in the woods. I mean long, ten miles at the least everyday. Drinking heavily and having sex with as many women that will have him.....any women will do. Skinny, fat, mean, nice, lesbian, literally any women. He is attracted to all of them. His hard on never fails at the sight or touch of a women. Never.
It's kind of impressive.
At one point he was in the process of passing a kidney stone the size of a small marble, for fuck sake, and when nurse merely brushes his hand and he gets a full on erection from that. All the while he's in severe pain.
I don't have boy parts, but I find this a bit far fetched.
But get this. The next morning after he passes this huge stone he does bump uglies with a fellow sex addict. Of course, as you do. Um...apparently at...ahem..that special moment, it hurts like crazy just after you pass a kidney stone.
Huh...who could have seen that coming? No pun intended.
I did enjoy these novellas. Brown Dog is a ridiculous man, with a good heart. Worth a read.
Many of these reviews are in iambic pentameter I was steadfast in my refusal To follow the crowd in this banter.
I found it impossible to anything but I...moreMany of these reviews are in iambic pentameter I was steadfast in my refusal To follow the crowd in this banter.
I found it impossible to anything but I apologize profusely, drink wine that I must Without it I’d find I’m in a deep, hollow rut.
This book has confounded me to my very core Listening I was lost On some far away shore.
‘What the fuck is going on?’ I ask no one in particular Aloud in public attracts looks unfamiliar.
There’s a girl with red hair, and somehow that’s evil Is her name Charlotte? Mabel or Sybil?
“I don’t understand!” I yell a half an hour in Fortunately I’m at home without witness to this sin ‘I’ll start over once more’ I think to myself ‘I’ll finish straight through before it goes on the shelf.’
‘It’s only two hours; how hard can it be?’ I returned a bad book….so it’s practically free.
I followed the story the best that I could after fifteen minutes I knew where things stood. Proud of myself, I moved doggedly on ‘I got this.’ I thought Hell, I’m mentally strong!
There was some asshole named Frank, and a dress in blue A person named Josh Who was he? I never knew
An artist name Clifford realized his sexuality During a life drawing class ‘Being straight is insanity!’
There were trains, and AIDS And stories about Alzheimer’s ‘Fuck. Am I on drugs?’ I asked a stranger in Kroger’s
At home with my Pinot I realized my mistake What’s needed is wine And a big slice of cake
Half in the bag, all came through crisply If you don’t have some booze Maybe some weed would nicely
‘Why the four stars?’ the trolls will ask angrily ‘You were completely confused, and reviewed it hatefully.’ It’s hard to explain….It’s so breathtakingly beautiful I don’t hate this book, I love it I hope this is suitable
‘No, you missed the point! You’re opinion is wrong!’ Types the troll from his basement Wearing only a thong…….
***************************************** I really enjoyed this. I think I may give it another listen, but I’ll have a martini first, close my eyes and focus. I've heard this author on This American Life, with shorter stories….and I can follow them in smaller bits like that. I think when a story is stretched out in prose, the mind (mine anyway) can’t stay with it for too long before completely losing track.
Listen to this in audio if possible…..it’s beautiful to hear. (less)
Flora 717 is a bad girl. She's born different than the rest of the Floras. She's bigger, darker, smarter and more talented than th...moreI enjoyed The Bees.
Flora 717 is a bad girl. She's born different than the rest of the Floras. She's bigger, darker, smarter and more talented than the rest of her clan, and this is dangerous. She even breeds and everybody knows only the Queen may breed.
This is an odd little book that fascinated me with a bunch of bee facts, and it was very interesting...
Then I came across this video that I watched more than a few times and it brought this book to mind. It holds pretty much all you need to know about bees in a stunning fashion.(less)
It Came from Ohio gave me some great day trip ideas.
A collection of paranormal stories and urban myths from across the state. Some I knew, some I didn...moreIt Came from Ohio gave me some great day trip ideas.
A collection of paranormal stories and urban myths from across the state. Some I knew, some I didn't, and one in particular blew my mind and freaked me out. It was the last story about Rattlesnake Island, which is right over there, that was not paranormal in the least. It's just straight up, live people, freaky.....and did I mention it's right over there.
I wonder if the author looked into the famousGore Orhanage legend and found it to be nothing at all? Because everyone in these parts have heard the story....
This is a fun read, whether you're from the Buckeye state or not.(less)
I'm going to review this soon (mostly under a spoiler tag, cause there is no other way)......but, damn, this was one weird book! It probably had one o...moreI'm going to review this soon (mostly under a spoiler tag, cause there is no other way)......but, damn, this was one weird book! It probably had one of the most disgusting things I've ever read in it. My stomach is a flipping and a flopping.
I know EVERY place the author mentions in this book because I live in the same general area. I've eaten in the restaurants and had the same meals. I even lived in Loveland Ohio for a year-ish and I'm thankful to say I did not run across anything odd at the time.(less)
Imagine one day you are fine, going to work and doing what you always done, then out of the blue you start acting strange. You become paranoid, eventu...moreImagine one day you are fine, going to work and doing what you always done, then out of the blue you start acting strange. You become paranoid, eventually you start hearing voices and attempt jumping out of moving vehicles.
You must caught a bit of the crazy right?
Maybe not. This is what happened to Susannah Cahalen, a reporter for the New York Post. One morning she saw a couple of bug bites on her arm and was convinced she had a bed bug infestation. She brought exterminators into her home, even though she couldn't find any evidence of the critters. The exterminator couldn't find them, said they didn't exist, but she insisted they treat the apartment for them anyway.
This was only the beginning. Susannah kept deteriorating, doctors mis-diagnosed her many times, one even blamed it on excessive drinking with a 'wink'. You know, a young girl in New York obviously was partying too hard.....I think I would have punched that jerk in the dangly bits and blamed it on a seizure(of which she had many)"oops! Sorry doc but I couldn't help it!"
One day after about a million dollars worth of tests came up with zilch, Dr. Souhel Najjar came aboard Susannah's case, and it's a darn lucky thing that he did, because he had recently discovered a rare auto immune disease called Anti-NMDA receptor encephalitis. This basically will make you seem like a crazy person, and make you do odd enough things and movements that will cause people to call in an exorcist. Since this disease has been in existence as long as humans have, it's a pretty safe bet that many of those poor people who were thought to be possessed and subsequently exorcised had in fact Anti-NMDA receptor encephalitis and not the devil inside them.
"Magic is only science we haven't discovered yet." Someone said...?? Christopher Moore??
And that is the truly scary part in a very scary tale, that millions of people over countless years have been mis-diagnosed, put in institutions and left to die, or treated as evil and possibly put to a horrible death.
I enjoyed this book and found it fascinating. I just wish Sussanah din't have to go through this for us to get this book, but since she did I appreciate it even more.(less)