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Quotes About Vagina

Quotes tagged as "vagina" (showing 1-30 of 50)
Eve Ensler
“The heart is capable of sacrifice. So is the vagina. The heart is able to forgive and repair. It can change it's shape to let us in. It can expand to let us out. So can the vagina. It can ache for us and stretch for us, die for us and bleed and bleed us into this difficult, wondrous world. So can the vagina. I was there in the room. I remeber.”
Eve Ensler, The Vagina Monologues

Jarod Kintz
“Can you tell by where my eyes are looking what I’m thinking? Hint: I’m staring directly at your vagina.
”
Jarod Kintz, The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink.

Inga Muscio
“Moving from phonetics to etymology, ‘vagina’ originates from a word meaning sheath for a sword. Ain’t got no vagina.”
Inga Muscio, Cunt: A Declaration of Independence

Bret Easton Ellis
“...when I look over at Luis in one brief flashing moment his head looks like a talking vagina and it scares the bejesus out of me...”
Bret Easton Ellis, American Psycho

Augusten Burroughs
“If we happened to be in rehearsal downstairs in my room and a neighbor padded across the lawn to rap gently on the window and ask us to please be more quiet, Natalie might simply lift up her skirt and mash her vagina against the window while extending her middle finger.”
Augusten Burroughs, Running with Scissors

Jarod Kintz
“-Good thing you don’t own a mirror, Mr. Mirrorless, or you’d see how ugly you are.

-What makes you think I don’t own a mirror? Every face that ever looks at me tells me that I’m ugly. But every time I make them laugh, I get to show them what beauty really is.

-I see what you mean. Here, take my rearview mirror. I don’t need to carry it around like a vagina on a rope anymore.

-Mr. Thrustsalone, you don’t need to drag a vagina on a rope like some kind of pet on a leash to make you happy. There’s a reason why God invented right hands and hookers.

-Why, so politicians could have more productive ways to spend their time and our money than engaging in politics?

-Mr. Thrustsalone, you are wise beyond your years.

-I’m 88 years old.

-Yet you don’t look a day older than 87.”
Jarod Kintz, At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

Jarod Kintz
“Larry Bird looks like a bird, and Johnny Vagina looks like—hey, what is that in the sky?
”
Jarod Kintz, This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

Jarod Kintz
“A wink and a smirk walk into a bar, and the bartender asked them what they were drinking, when all of the sudden a mustache in a cowboy hat riding a vagina runs through the door, and right there I have to stop the joke, because not only does it not have a punch line, but that punch line was kidnapped, and if it’s ever found, it will probably be rated Not Safe For Work. 
”
Jarod Kintz, This Book Has No Title

Jarod Kintz
“A door shaped like a vagina is more inviting. Sure, I’ll come in, but not slouched over. Allow me to straighten up before I enter.
”
Jarod Kintz, This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

Michael Bassey Johnson
“If any woman opens her legs for you, don't feel so lucky to be fed with nonsense, she has been a bitch for a long time, and now its your own turn to get a share from her itching tunnel.”
Michael Bassey Johnson

Tom Stoppard
“Seduced her? Every time I turned round she was up a library ladder. In the end I gave in. That reminds me—I spotted something between her legs that made me think of you.”
Tom Stoppard, Arcadia

Jarod Kintz
“Don’t expect my hand to extend out of her vagina and accept the charity of strangers.
”
Jarod Kintz, This Book Has No Title

Jarod Kintz
“My favorite snack is vagina. The only thing I hate is unwrapping all that saran wrap.
”
Jarod Kintz, 99 Cents For Some Nonsense

Jarod Kintz
“Her vagina feels like home, while her sister’s vagina feels like a hotel room. I should ask for a late checkout.”
Jarod Kintz, Sleepwalking is restercise

Michael Bassey Johnson
“Young girls are like helpless children in the hands of amorous men, whatever is said to them is true and whatever manipulation on their bodies seems like love to them, sooner or later, they come back to their senses, but the scars are not dead inasmuch as her spoiler lives.”
Michael Bassey Johnson, Scars Of Beauty

Michael Bassey Johnson
“The paradise in women is not the v-shape manipulation between their legs,
or the two lovely bombs, set on their bosom that can blast any strong, holy spirit filled individual, but that part of her that cannot be described, yet can only be felt.”
Michael Bassey Johnson

Michael Bassey Johnson
“If a woman's vagina was hell fire, then alot of sex maniacs would prefer to spend their eternity in hell.”
Michael Bassey Johnson

Anthony Liccione
“I often wonder, in a catfight, when one doesn't want to fight, if the other cat calls it a pussy.”
Anthony Liccione

Jarod Kintz
“With women, there is no sexual mystery—a vagina is a vagina. But with men, a woman’s got to wonder, is his penis small, medium, or Orafoura?
”
Jarod Kintz, The Merits of Marthaism, and How Being Named Susan Can Benefit You

Mokokoma Mokhonoana
“A salary is, to a man's employer, what his wife's vagina is to his wife: a tool used to (1) reward; and (2) control him.”
Mokokoma Mokhonoana, Divided & Conquered

“In reality, the vagina is not a game of soccer to be kicked around like a ball. Its goal is to love and not keep score of how many times it’s beaten the competition. Having a vagina is a beautiful thing and shouldn’t be locked up or controlled by those who do not have one.”
Sadiqua Hamdan, Happy Am I. Holy Am I. Healthy Am I.

Michael Bassey Johnson
“There are men who wants only the woman; such are tagged, 'real men', and there are ones who want only their bodies; such are tagged, 'fake men', and there are others who wants neither the woman, nor the body; such are tagged, 'GAY MEN”
Michael Bassey Johnson

Mokokoma Mokhonoana
“All civilized wo/men are prostitutes: Some sell what's between their legs; the rest sell what's between their ears.”
Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Michael Bassey Johnson
“Almost everybody gets tired and bored by one lackadaisical topic. If you hit them with something delicious, like a sexy adventure, then the world will want to hear you speak, mind you! Don't become a vulgarian.”
Michael Bassey Johnson

Jarod Kintz
“Why aren’t any cars shaped like vaginas? More people would probably wear them on their feet while they run.
”
Jarod Kintz, Sleepwalking is restercise

Ifeanyi Enoch Onuoha
“Discipline your sexuality for it has the proclivity to cause a productivity that can influence now and posterity.”
Ifeanyi Enoch Onuoha

Richard Powers
“It seemed to me that half of life’s problems would be solved if one of us had a vagina.”
Richard Powers, Orfeo
tags: vagina

Jarod Kintz
“A mustache wearing a cowboy hat rode into town on a vagina, and all I could think was, Is it lunchtime already?
”
Jarod Kintz, Whenever You're Gone, I'm Here For You

Michael Bassey Johnson
“Whether you studied sexology or not, nobody will teach you how to screw, nobody will point to your vagina and say, hey that's where you pee and bonk! And nobody will say, hey, your penis can ejaculate when you stroke or slide it into a woman's punani!”
Michael Bassey Johnson

Michael Bassey Johnson
“I don't see anything other than pretensions and low mentality in women who make a man run after a hole that would soon be inhabited by termites and worms.”
Michael Bassey Johnson

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