Quotes About Sarcasm

Quotes tagged as "sarcasm" (showing 121-150 of 886)
Cassandra Clare
“He seemed only ... annoyed. Annoyed, and sweaty, and hot.
"Yeah, well," he said, "the next time you decide to sneak out of our magically warded apartment through a door that shouldn't really exist, leave a note.”
Cassandra Clare, City of Lost Souls

Jess C. Scott
“If money’s the god people worship, I’d rather go worship the devil instead.”
Jess C. Scott, Rockstar

Banksy
“Sometimes I feel so sick at the state of the world I can't even finish my second apple pie.”
Banksy, Wall and Piece

“I thought about suicide all the time, but it seemed toomuch effort, swallowing all those pills or jumping off things. If I'd lived out in the country I would have found a quiet stretch of railway track, and lain on it, fallen asleep, so that I would never have known when my last moment came. In London, the minimum tube fare had gone up so much that even to get near the line cost a fortune. Suicide seemed an extravagance I couldn't afford. People never leave you alone, either; I knew that if I'd tried to lie down on the line, any number of commuters would have pulled me off again, so that I didn't delay their train.
There must have been murderers out there who wanted to kill, with no way of finding those who wanted to be dead. If there had been some way of contacting them, a date-with-death line, I would have called them to set up a meeting. The current ways of death seemed too haphazard; it was all left up to chance. Had Chance come up, tapped me on the shoulder, said "Oi, you - long black tunnel, white light, off you go," I wouldn't have complained.
It was like having frostbite all over - feeling numb and in pain at the same time.”
Helena Dela, The Count

Cassandra Clare
“Jace said that the cast of Gilligan's Island could do something anatomically unlikely with themselves.”
Cassandra Clare

Anthony Horowitz
“The platform underneath the balloon fell on her as she was trying to escape," she explained. "She was crushed."
"I'd have been disappointed too.”
Anthony Horowitz, Scorpia

Kristin Cashore
“Could you attempt, at least, to make yourself presentable? I know this is a war, but the rest of us are trying to pretend it's a party.”
Kristin Cashore, Fire

Cassandra Clare
“... As could the sarcasm in her voice. "yes, she's bleeding to deat Lu upstairs, but i thought I'd avoid telling you right away, because I like to draw the suspense out.”
Cassandra Clare, City of Fallen Angels

Maureen Johnson
“I knew it was beautiful, but knowing something is beautiful and caring about it are two very different things, and I didn't care.”
Maureen Johnson, Let It Snow: Three Holiday Romances

Linda Howard
“I thought you were a drunk."
"A drunk?"
"Bloodshot eyes, dirty clothes, getting home in the wee hours of the morning, making a lot of
noise, grouchy all the time as if you had a hangover… what else was I to think?"
He rubbed his face. "Sorry, I wasn't thinking. I should have showered, shaved, and dressed in a
suit before I came out to tell you that you were making enough noise to raise the dead.”
Linda Howard, Mr. Perfect

Cassandra Clare
“Is this the girl?” Kieran’s voice was very different: It sounded like waves sliding up the shore. Like warm water under pale light. It was seductive, with an edge of cold. He looked at Emma as if she were a new kind of flower, one he wasn’t sure he liked. “She’s pretty,” he said. “I didn’t think she’d be pretty. You didn’t mention it.”
Iarlath shrugged. “You’ve always been partial to blondes,” he said.
“Okay, seriously?” Emma snapped her fingers. “I am right here. And I was not aware I was being invited to a game of ‘Who’s the Hottest?'"
I wasn’t aware you were invited at all,” said Kieran. His speech had a casual edge, as if he was used to talking to humans.
“Rude,” said Emma.”
Cassandra Clare, Lady Midnight

John Green
“He just waited until I stopped talking and said, 'Jesus, kid, you're almost a detective. All you need now is a gun, a gut, and three ex-wives. So what's your theory?”
John Green, Paper Towns

Erin Hunter
“Ivypool felt her mouth drop open "Hollyleaf? But...you you're dead!"
"Obviously not," the newcomer replied with an edge to her voice.”
Erin Hunter, The Forgotten Warrior

Jerome K. Jerome
“I don't understand German myself. I learned it at school, but forgot every word of it two years after I had left, and have felt much better ever since.”
Jerome K. Jerome, Three Men in a Boat

Sherrilyn Kenyon
“Sam gave Captain Suicide a droll stare. "How did you die again? Oh wait, I know this. 'I can take 'em. I don't need to wait for reinforcements. I can do it myself.' How'd that work out for you again?”
Sherrilyn Kenyon, No Mercy

Alexandra Adornetto
“I have church on Sunday.”
“Of course you do.”
“You’re welcome to come along.”
“Thanks, but I’m allergic to incense.”
“That’s a shame.”
“It’s the bane of my existence.”
- Beth and Jake”
Alexandra Adornetto, Halo

Cassandra Clare
“What - what - what are you doing?" he demanded.
"I am almost six hundred years old," Magnus claimed, and Ragnor snorted, since Magnus changed his age to suit himself every few weeks. Magnus swept on. "It does seem about time to learn a musical instrument." He flourished his new prize, a little stringed instrument that looked like a cousin of the lute that the lute was embarrassed to be related to. "It's called a charango. I am planning to become a charanguista!"
"I wouldn't call that an instrument of music," Ragnor observed sourly. "An instrument of torture, perhaps."
Magnus cradled the charango in his arms as if it were an easily offended baby. "It's a beautiful and very unique instrument! The sound box is made from an armadillo. Well, a dried armadillo shell."
"That explains the sound you're making," said Ragnor. "Like a lost, hungry armadillo."
"You are just jealous," Magnus remarked calmly. "Because you do not have the soul of a true artiste like myself."
"Oh, I am positively green with envy," Ragnor snapped.
"Come now, Ragnor. That's not fair," said Magnus. "You know I love it when you make jokes about your complexion."
Magnus refused to be affected by Ragnor's cruel judgments. He regarded his fellow warlock with a lofty stare of superb indifference, raised his charango, and began to play again his defiant, beautiful tune.
They both heard the staccato thump of frantically running feet from within the house, the swish of skirts, and then Catarina came rushing out into the courtyard. Her white hair was falling loose about her shoulders, and her face was the picture of alarm.
"Magnus, Ragnor, I heard a cat making a most unearthly noise," she exclaimed. "From the sound of it, the poor creature must be direly sick. You have to help me find it!"
Ragnor immediately collapsed with hysterical laughter on his windowsill. Magnus stared at Catarina for a moment, until he saw her lips twitch.
"You are conspiring against me and my art," he declared. "You are a pack of conspirators."
He began to play again. Catarina stopped him by putting a hand on his arm.
"No, but seriously, Magnus," she said. "That noise is appalling."
Magnus sighed. "Every warlock's a critic."
"Why are you doing this?"
"I have already explained myself to Ragnor. I wish to become proficient with a musical instrument. I have decided to devote myself to the art of the charanguista, and I wish to hear no more petty objections."
"If we are all making lists of things we wish to hear no more . . . ," Ragnor murmured.
Catarina, however, was smiling.
"I see," she said.
"Madam, you do not see."
"I do. I see it all most clearly," Catarina assured him. "What is her name?"
"I resent your implication," Magnus said. "There is no woman in the case. I am married to my music!"
"Oh, all right," Catarina said. "What's his name, then?"
His name was Imasu Morales, and he was gorgeous.”
Cassandra Clare, The Bane Chronicles

L.J. Smith
“Do I look like the kind of person who wastes time turning goats into pin cushions?”
L.J. Smith, Night World, No. 1

Lisa Kleypas
“The earl shook his head, exhibiting a degree of frosty offense that could only be achieved by an aristocrat whose wishes had just been gainsaid. “I’ve never heard of a man being so eager to confess to the parent of a girl he’s just ruined,” he said sourly.”
Lisa Kleypas, Secrets of a Summer Night

Melina Marchetta
“It's Thursday afternoon, and we have sports. These are the choices for the girls: watching an invitational cricket game; studying in one of the classrooms; or watching the senior rugby league. As you can imagine, I'm torn.”
Melina Marchetta, Saving Francesca

Janette Rallison
“Let me guess - you're Grumpy?'
He let out a humpf. ' And you would be too, if you'd just spent the last hour searching the forest for your wayward charge.' He walked even faster. 'We tell you to stay inside, we tell you not to talk to strangers. But oh no, you must be out singing to the animals as if the birds didn't do a fine enough job of it. And this after Queen Neferia has already tried to kill you thrice. [...] Which is why you are not to go shopping anymore, no matter how pretty the wares, remember?'
Oh, right.'
[...] when you looked at it that way, Snow White had to be pretty idiotic to keep falling for the same trick.”
Janette Rallison, My Fair Godmother

F. Scott Fitzgerald
“I suppose the latest thing is to sit back and let Mr. Nobody from Nowhere make love to your wife.”
F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby

نجيب محفوظ
“أتحدى اسرائيل ان تفعل بنا مثلما فعلنا بأنفسنا”
نجيب محفوظ, المرايا

Tamora Pierce
“I forgot my purse of laughter when I dressed this mornin'," she told me. "Have you not bought anythin' the last few days? Prices have gone up. Pay or starve, it's all one to me.”
Tamora Pierce, Bloodhound

Michelle Hodkin
“...while Daniel disappeared into his room, probably to limn the contours of some exquisite constellation of philosophical nonsense for his internship applications and gasp in the throes of his overachieving OCDness.”
Michelle Hodkin, The Unbecoming of Mara Dyer

Molly Harper
“Does Hallmark make a “Sorry I tried to drink your blood and touched you in a vaguely inappropriate manner” card? I settled for “How much do you remember?”
Molly Harper, Nice Girls Don't Have Fangs

Jim Butcher
“Maybe,” he said in a slow, rural drawl, “you could explain to me why I found you in the middle of an orgy.”
“Well,” I said, “if you’re going to be in an orgy, the middle is the best spot, isn’t it.”
Jim Butcher, Hex Appeal

Jennifer Crusie
“If you are not going to be a comfort, have the decency to be an empty space.”
Jennifer Crusie, Bet Me

Bret Easton Ellis
“Yes. Yes I am. I am a completely demented misogynist.”
Bret Easton Ellis

Lisa Mantchev
“How can she create with all your negative energy?"
"Yeah, man. You're bringing us down."
"This is about as low as it gets," Ariel said. "Where did you get those ridiculous black berets?"
Moth adjusted his recently donned beatnik attire. "This is what the hip cats wear , daddy-o."
"Can you dig it?" Cobweb stroked a few wisps of fake chin hair, while the others nodded and snapped their fingers.”
Lisa Mantchev, Perchance to Dream

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