Quotes About Witty

Quotes tagged as "witty" (showing 1-30 of 366)
Suzanne Collins
“Well, don't expect us to be too impressed. We just saw Finnick Odair in his underwear.”
Suzanne Collins, Mockingjay

Oliver Goldsmith
“Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no fibs.”
Oliver Goldsmith, She Stoops to Conquer

Cate Tiernan
“Yes. Reyn is our resident horse master. He has an excellent seat."
I grinned. "I've noticed."
Reyn's face tightened and Nell flushed, looking embarrassed. "It's an equestrian term."
"Really? I thought you were talking about his ass.”
Cate Tiernan, Immortal Beloved

George R.R. Martin
“The man is as useless as nipples on a breastplate.”
George R.R. Martin, A Feast for Crows

Criss Jami
“Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don't laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions.”
Criss Jami, Killosophy

Josh Lanyon
“A pause followed my greeting. Then “We’re watching you ” whispered the voice on the other end.
“Yeah? Did you see what I did with my keys? ”
Silence. Then dial tone.
These younger demons. So easily discouraged.”
Josh Lanyon, The Hell You Say

Jim Butcher
“A technicality I'm prepared to hide wildly behind.”
Jim Butcher, Storm Front

Patrick Rothfuss
“I’d heard you were dead.”
"I heard you wear a red lace corset,” I said matter-of-factly. “But I don’t believe every bit of nonsense that gets rumored about.”
Patrick Rothfuss, The Wise Man's Fear

Jeff Lindsay
“I am not shy about admitting my modest talents. For example, I am happy to admit that I am better than average at clever remarks, and I also have a flair for getting people to like me. But to be perfectly fair to myself, I am ever-ready to confess my shortcomings, too, and a quick round of soul-searching forced me to admit that I had never been any good at all at breathing water. As I hung there from the seat belt, dazed and watching the water pour in and swirl around my head, this began to seem like a very large character flaw.”
Jeff Lindsay, Dearly Devoted Dexter

Hunter S. Thompson
“This is the fast lane, folks...and some of us like it here.”
Hunter S. Thompson, Kingdom of Fear: Loathsome Secrets of a Star-Crossed Child in the Final Days of the American Century

Honoré de Balzac
“Nothing so fortifies a friendship as a belief on the part of one friend that he is superior to the other.”
Honoré de Balzac

John Flanagan
“You've known him how long?" Malcolm asked.
"Since he was a small boy. I firs noticed him when he slipped into Master Chubb's kitchen to steal some pies."
"So, what did you have to say to Will when you caught him stealing these pies?
"Oh, I didn't let on I was there. We rangers can be very unobtrusive when we choose. I remained out of sight and watched him. I thought he might have potential to be a ranger." Halt said.

Horace joined in "Why?"
Halt answered carefully. "Because he was excellent at moving from cover to cover. Chubb entered 3 times and never noticed him. So i thought that if he could acheive that with no training, he would make a good ranger."
"No" Horace spoke. "Thats not what I meant. Why were you hiding in the kitchen in the first place?"
"I told you. I was watching Will to see if he had the potential to be a ranger."
"Thats not what you said. You said that was the first time you noticed Will."
"Does it matter?"
"Not really. Were you hiding from chub yourself and Will just turned up by coincidence?"
"And why would I be hiding from master Chubb in his own kitchen?"
"Well, there were freshly made pies on the windowsill, and you like pies, don't you?"
"Are you acusing me of trying to steal those pies?!?!"
"No, of course not. I just thought i'd give you the opportunity to confess."

After a pause, Halt continued. "You know, Horace, you used to be a most agreeable young man. Whatever happened to you?"
"I've spent to much time around you, I suppose."

And Halt had to admit that was probably true.”
John Flanagan

Josh Lanyon
“The problem with a life spent reading is you know too much.”
Josh Lanyon, The Dickens with Love

Erich Segal
“What the hell makes you smart?" I asked.
"I wouldn't go for coffee with you."
"Listen - I wouldn't ask you."
"That," she replied, "is what makes you stupid.”
Erich Segal, Love Story

Holly Hood
“So just let me deal with it, I can be emotionally flawed and still love you all at the same time. I’m a great multitasker.”
Holly Hood, Prison of Paradise

Oscar Wilde
“One must have a heart of stone to read the death of little Nell without laughing.”
Oscar Wilde

Lloyd Alexander
“-"He loved her...It was noble of him. It was beautiful."

-"It was stupid.”
Lloyd Alexander, Westmark

Criss Jami
“Whenever I think of something but can't think of what it was I was thinking of, I can't stop thinking until I think I'm thinking of it again. I think I think too much.”
Criss Jami, Killosophy

George W. Bush
“I frankly felt like the reception we received on the way in from the airport was very warm and hospitable. And I want to thank the Canadian people who came out to wave -- with all five fingers -- for their hospitality.”
George W. Bush

Jandy Nelson
“The guy's life drunk, I think, makes Candide look like a sourpuss. Does he even know that death exists?”
Jandy Nelson, The Sky Is Everywhere

Amit Kalantri
“If an apology is followed by an excuse or a reason, it means they are going to commit same mistake again they just apologized for.”
Amit Kalantri

L.M. Montgomery
“You noticed that I wore this outfit twice? Why, the only thing you wear twice is a sour expression.”
L.M. Montgomery
tags: witty

“And it's really very difficult to kill someone when all your inner instincts would oblige you to take off your hat first!”
Susan Kay, Phantom

Mervyn Peake
“Life is too fleet for onomatopoeia.”
Mervyn Peake, Titus Groan

Tiffany Reisz
“Master Griffin, I would marry my own mother for the excuse to stab my eyes out with her brooches than to see anything under your kilt," the man's voice said with an elegant aplomb. "Where would you like your guest's things, sir?”
Tiffany Reisz, The Angel

Nancy Springer
“I hope that the kind reader recognises this as a despairing attempt at humour.”
Nancy Springer

Chuck Palahniuk
“Yes, I kidnapped that Lindberg baby.”
Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club

Meg Cabot
“Sorry, Bex," Jason said "You don't have the recognizable facial characteristics - such as a huge chin, or a large amount of real estate between the eyes - that would merit the bestowing of a criminal mastermind nickname such as Lockjaw or Walleye. Whereas Crazytop here...well, just look at her."

"Atleast I can blow-dry my hair straight," I pointed out. "Which is more than what I can say for your nose, Hawkface.”
Meg Cabot

“Make sure it is God's trumpet you are blowing-
if it is only yours it won't wake the dead,
it will simply disturb the neighbours.”
W. Ian Thomas

Darynda Jones
“Who knew Demon Child would have such a normal name? I expected something exotic like Serena or Destiny or the Evil One That Comes in the Night to Make Us Chilly.”
Darynda Jones

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