Quotes About Wit

Quotes tagged as "wit" (showing 61-90 of 356)
Brandon Sanderson
“Why hasn't anyone killed him yet?”
“Dumb luck,” Wit said. “In that I’m lucky you’re all so dumb.”
Brandon Sanderson, Words of Radiance

Mervyn Peake
“And now, my poor old woman, why are you crying so bitterly? It is autumn. The leaves are falling from the trees like burning tears- the wind howls. Why must you mimic them?”
Mervyn Peake, Titus Groan

Joan Lowery Nixon
“Life is not easy. We all have problems-even tragedies-to deal with, and luck has nothing to do with it. Bad luck is only the superstitious excuse for those who don't have the wit to deal with the problems of life. ”
Joan Lowery Nixon, In The Face of Danger

Oscar Wilde
“Everybody who is incapable of learning has taken to teaching.”
Oscar Wilde

“Give the People what they want - and they'll get what they deserve.”
The Kinks

Mark Twain
“I was sorry to have my name mentioned as one of the great authors, because they have a sad habit of dying off. Chaucer is dead, Spencer is dead, so is Milton, so is Shakespeare, and I’m not feeling so well myself.”
Mark Twain, Speeches
tags: humor, wit

Terry Pratchett
“You know, you're rather amusingly wrong.”
Terry Pratchett, Maskerade

Ray Bradbury
“Digression is the soul of wit. Take the philosophic asides away from Dante, Milton or Hamlet's father's ghost and what stays is dry bones.”
Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451

Mel Brooks
“I have always been a huge admirer of my own work. I'm one of the funniest and most entertaining writers I know.”
Mel Brooks

Robert A. Heinlein
“Don't explain computers to laymen. Simpler to explain sex to a virgin.”
Robert A. Heinlein, The Moon is a Harsh Mistress

Stéphane Mallarmé
“The flesh is sad, alas, and I have read all the books.”
Stéphane Mallarmé

William Goldman
“Enough about my beauty," Buttercup said. "Everybody always talks about how beautiful I am. I've got a mind, Westley. Talk about that.”
William Goldman, The Princess Bride

Thomas Paine
“One of the strongest natural proofs of the folly of hereditary right in kings, is, that nature disapproves it, otherwise, she would not so frequently turn it into ridicule by giving mankind an ass for a lion.”
Thomas Paine, Common Sense

Simon Cowell
“You sounded like Dolly parton on helium."
(After kristy lee cook of season 7 on american idol,sang her country rendition of the Beatles'"Eight Days A Week.)”
Simon Cowell

“Someone once told me that we move when it becomes less painful than staying where we are".”
Anne Hines, The Spiral Garden

John Brunner
“I'm myself, not a label.”
John Brunner, The Shockwave Rider

Arthur Wellesley
“Being born in a stable does not make one a horse.”
Arthur Wellesley

Simon Cowell
“It was like orderin a hamburger and getting only the buns"
(After Brooke White of season 7 on american idol sang the song 'Hero'
by Mariah Carey)”
Simon Cowell

Alexander Pope
“True Wit is Nature to advantage dress'd
What oft was thought, but ne'er so well express'd;
Something whose truth convinced at sight we find,
That gives us back the image of our mind.
As shades more sweetly recommend the light,
So modest plainness sets off sprightly wit.”
Alexander Pope, An Essay on Criticism

Betty Dravis
“Writing a book is like sliding down a rainbow! Marketing it is like trudging through a field of chewed bubblegum on a hot, sticky day.”
Betty Dravis
tags: humor, wit

G.K. Chesterton
“When men have come to the edge of a precipice, it is the lover of life who has the spirit to leap backwards, and only the pessimist who continues to believe in progress.”
G.K. Chesterton
tags: truth, wit

Susan Ee
“Big words from a guy who's trussed up like a turkey. What are you going to do, wobble over here like an upside- down turtle to snap me in half?"

"The logistics of breaking you are easy. The only question is when.”
Susan Ee
tags: wit

S.A. Bodeen
“Yeah, well, wish in one hand, crap in the other, and see which fills up first”
S.A. Bodeen, The Compound

Phoebe Kitanidis
“What have you done to your hair?” Mom’s broken voice said, pinning me back to this tiny hospital
“Holy shit!” Icka patted her head as if searching. “You think the nurse stole it? She looked shady.”
Phoebe Kitanidis, Whisper

Graydon Carter
“In less than a year, the Bush administration will strut out of office, leaving the country in roughly the same condition a toddler leaves a diaper.”
Graydon Carter

Jane Austen
“There is a monsterous deal of stupid quizzing, & common-place nonsense talked, but scarcely any wit.”
Jane Austen

“I'm living so far beyond my means that we may almost be said to be living apart.”
Saki, The Unbearable Bassington

Laurie Halse Anderson
“I spent the last Friday of summer vacation spreading hot, sticky tar across the roof of George Washington High. My companions were Dopey, Toothless, and Joe, the brain surgeons in charge of building maintenance. At least they were getting paid. I was working forty feet above the ground, breathing in sulfur fumes from Satan's vomitorium, for free.

Character building, my father said.

Mandatory community service, the judge said. Court-ordered restitution for the Foul Deed. He nailed me with the bill for the damage I had done, which meant I had to sell my car and bust my hump at a landscaping company all summer. Oh, and he gave me six months of meetings with a probation officer who thought I was a waste of human flesh.

Still, it was better than jail.

I pushed the mop back and forth, trying to coat the seams evenly. We didn't want any rain getting into the building and destroying the classrooms. Didn't want to hurt the school. No, sir, we sure didn't.”
Laurie Halse Anderson, Twisted

Noël Coward
“Wit ought to be a glorious treat, like caviar. Never spread it about like marmalade.”
Noël Coward

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