Quotes About Wit

“I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer”
― Douglas Adams

“Wit beyond measure is a man's greatest treasure.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

“Quotation is a serviceable substitute for wit.”
― Oscar Wilde

“Patience, grasshopper," said Maia. "Good things come to those who wait."
"I always thought that was 'Good things come to those who do the wave,'" said Simon. "No wonder I've been so confused all my life.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Glass

“This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.”
― Dorothy Parker, The Algonquin Wits

“The covers of this book are too far apart.”
― Ambrose Bierce

“So you're a Shadowhunter,' Nate said. 'De Quincey told me that you lot were monsters.'
'Was that before or after he tried to eat you?' Will inquired.”
― Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Angel

“I don't deserve any credit for turning the other cheek as my tongue is always in it.”
― Flannery O'Connor, The Habit of Being: Letters of Flannery O'Connor

“I am not absentminded. It is the presence of mind that makes me unaware of everything else.”
― G.K. Chesterton

“Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.”
― Dorothy Parker

“Don't let the muggles get you down.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

“The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.”
― William Shakespeare, King Henry VI, Part 2

“Brevity is the soul of wit.”
― William Shakespeare, Hamlet

“The world was my oyster but I used the wrong fork.”
― Oscar Wilde

“Clever as the Devil and twice as pretty.”
― Holly Black, White Cat

“Tact: the ability to describe others as they see themselves.”
― Abraham Lincoln

“Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no lies.”
― Oliver Goldsmith

“There is, I believe, in every disposition a tendency to some particular evil, a natural defect, which not even the best education can overcome."
"And your defect is a propensity to hate everybody."
"And yours," he replied with a smile, "is wilfully to misunderstand them.”
― Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice

“If they can get you asking the wrong questions, they don't have to worry about answers.”
― Thomas Pynchon, Gravity's Rainbow

“I had such plans for this evening. The pursuit of blind drunkenness and wayward women was my goal. But alas, it was not to be. No sooner had I consumed my third drink in the Devil than I was accosted by a delightful small flower selling child who asked me for twopence for a daisy. The price seemed steep, so I refused. When I told the girl as much, she proceeded to rob me.”
“A little girl robbed you?” Tessa said.
“Actually, she wasn’t a little girl at all, as it turns out, but a midget in a dress with a penchant for violence, who goes by the name of Six-Fingered Nigel.”
― Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Angel

“Now what happens?" asked the man in black.
"We face each other as God intended," Fezzik said. "No tricks, no weapons, skill against skill alone."
"You mean you'll put down your rock and I'll put down my sword and we'll try to kill each other like civilized people, is that it?”
― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

“I have only made this letter longer because I have not had the time to make it shorter."

(Letter 16, 1657)”
― Blaise Pascal, The Provincial Letters

“If Christ were here there is one thing he would not be—a Christian.”
― Mark Twain, Notebook

“They say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit," Valkyrie said.

China glanced at her. "They've obviously never met me.”
― Derek Landy, Mortal Coil

“There's a hell of a distance between wise-cracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wise-cracking is simply calisthenics with words.”
― Dorothy Parker

“Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.”
― Mark Twain, Christian Science

“Do you like to slide?" His voice was eager.
Stair rails! Did he suspect me? I forced a sigh. "No, Majesty. I'm terrified of heights."
"Oh." His polite tone had returned.
"I wish I could enjoy it. This fear of heights is an affliction."
He nodded, a show of sympathy but not much interest. I was losing him.
"Especially," I added, "as I've grown taller.”
― Gail Carson Levine, Ella Enchanted

“He drew a circle that shut me out-
Heretic , rebel, a thing to flout.
But love and I had the wit to win:
We drew a circle and took him In !

From the poem " Outwitted”
― Edwin Markham

“There are those who scoff at the schoolboy, calling him frivolous and
shallow: Yet it was the schoolboy who said 'Faith is believing what you
know ain't so'.”
― Mark Twain, Pudd'nhead Wilson

“A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone's feelings unintentionally.”
― Oscar Wilde