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Quotes About Toilet

Quotes tagged as "toilet" (showing 1-24 of 24)
J.K. Rowling
“Now, you two – this year, you behave yourselves. If I get one more owl telling me you've – you've blown up a toilet or –"
"Blown up a toilet? We've never blown up a toilet."
"Great idea though, thanks, Mum.”
J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

J.K. Rowling
“No, thanks," said Harry. "The toilet's never had anything as horrible as your head down it— it might be sick." Then he ran, before Dudley could work out what he'd said.”
J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

Eoin Colfer
“The miracle of modern science. The LEP pours millions into your department, Foaly, and all you can do is send Mud Boys to the toilet.”
Eoin Colfer, The Eternity Code

Bill Cosby
“And of course, when you see your brother in the toilet bowl...there's a little voice that say, 'I wonder where he would go...'...if it hadn't been for his head...”
Bill Cosby

Jarod Kintz
“If I owned a house that had a bathroom with no toilet, only a urinal, I’d call that the number one room, and I could easily both describe it and point to it with one finger.”
Jarod Kintz, This is the story my great-grandfather told my father, who then told my grandfather, who then told me about how The Mythical Mr. Boo, Charles Manseur Fizzlebush Grissham III, better known as Mr. Fizzlebush, and Orafoura are all in fact me...

Stephen Clarke
“I was also sick of my neighbors, as most Parisians are. I now knew every second of the morning routine of the family upstairs. At 7:00 am alarm goes off, boom, Madame gets out of bed, puts on her deep-sea divers’ boots, and stomps across my ceiling to megaphone the kids awake. The kids drop bags of cannonballs onto the floor, then, apparently dragging several sledgehammers each, stampede into the kitchen. They grab their chunks of baguette and go and sit in front of the TV, which is always showing a cartoon about people who do nothing but scream at each other and explode. Every minute, one of the kids cartwheels (while bouncing cannonballs) back into the kitchen for seconds, then returns (bringing with it a family of excitable kangaroos) to the TV. Meanwhile the toilet is flushed, on average, fifty times per drop of urine expelled. Finally, there is a ten-minute period of intensive yelling, and at 8:15 on the dot they all howl and crash their way out of the apartment to school.” (p.137)”
Stephen Clarke, A Year in the Merde

Dan Brown
“As he flushed, an unexpected realization hit him. This is the Pope's toilet, he thought. I just took a leak in the Pope's toilet. He had to chuckle. The Holy Throne.”
Dan Brown, Angels & Demons

Adam Rex
“We found the bathrooms, which were labeled 'Aliens' and 'Femaliens.'
'Finally,' I said to J.Lo. 'Here's a bathroom you're allowed to use.”
Adam Rex, The True Meaning of Smekday

Jarod Kintz
“I had a dream about you. We watched the water in the toilet swirl down like a liquid tornado, and we wondered if we’d just flushed away our last chance at love. We’d used all the toilet paper, so you had nothing to blow your nose with. So I gave you the shirt off my back, and went out into the world to start my new life as a nudist.
”
Jarod Kintz, We Had A #Dream About You

Thomas Lynch
“The flush toilet, more than any single invention, has 'civilized' us in a way that religion and law could never accomplish.”
Thomas Lynch, The Undertaking: Life Studies from the Dismal Trade

“The trail of lime trees outside our building is still a public loo. …where else are they supposed to go to the toilet in a city where public toilets are about as common as UFO sightings?” (pp.281-82)”
Sarah Turnbull, Almost French: Love and a New Life in Paris

Jarod Kintz
“I love the gentle sound of a stream urinating in a toilet.
”
Jarod Kintz, Sleepwalking is restercise

Bauvard
“Spending one’s last moments prostrated before the toilet is the supreme act of repentance. It allows one to relieve a heavy inner burden.”
Bauvard, The Prince Of Plungers

Jarod Kintz
“I had a dream about you. The leaves were turning red, and so was my face. My face was flushed, but the toilet was not. You walked in on me in the bathroom, and I said, “Get out of my kitchen!”
”
Jarod Kintz, I had a dream about you 2

Jarod Kintz
“This work is the link between my Dear Natalie piece and my upcoming Agatha work. It bridges that lapse in time and shows how my thinking has changed. It shows me telling a story through the surreal and trying to use thought fragments alone to show a tortured existence. This piece was written after the Dear Natalies and before the Agatha mystery, but it is meant to be read after you’ve already read both.

This book is a bridge between two books, which would make it a bridge between two bridges. That’s strange, but I’ve seen stranger. Like the time I woke up in a fish tank, having morphed into a goldfish during my sleep. I still fear the sound of a flushing toilet, and since then I refuse to let myself fall asleep while wearing flippers.

This book is 3,088 words of pure nonsense, strung together like pearls hurled at bacon. Yum!”
Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale

A.J. Lauer
“You are one of the unfortunate ones whose body decays rapidly in the face of radiation poisoning. You hang your head over the toilet to vomit again and again, and die praying to the porcelain gods.”
A.J. Lauer, Armageddon: Pick Your Plot

Sarah Dessen
“So it just wasn't in my house. Anywhere, I looked like I knew about the toilet.”
Sarah Dessen, The Truth About Forever

Jarod Kintz
“They say love is blind. Helen Keller was blind. And deaf. So was Helen greater than love? Not sure, but I do know she didn’t know who kept peeing on the toilet seat. (Hint: It wasn’t not me.)
”
Jarod Kintz, Love quotes for the ages. And the ageless sages.

Katherine Applegate
“It's an alien toilet!" -Cassie”
Katherine Applegate

“Yeah...I finally understood it...
That exchanging information...
Sharing time...
The act of "let's go to the bathroom together" was the holy ritual of confirming one's friendship...

Until now I was an idiot doing stupid things.”
Taishi Zaou, Eiki Eiki

Jarod Kintz
“Coffee is the only brown liquid I’d drink out of a toilet. Well, almost the only one, as I’d drink number two for the number one in my life.
”
Jarod Kintz, I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

Jarod Kintz
“I suggest you leave a suggestion in my suggestion box, which looks suspiciously like a toilet.
”
Jarod Kintz, So many chairs, and no time to sit

Kelby Losack
“No doubt, the toilet must have come alive and regurgitated all over the floor and walls. The putrid water is still trickling from the bowl.”
Kelby Losack, Toxic Garbage

Mehek Bassi
“I rushed to the bathroom for every corner of the hospital was suffocating. I got hold of acid-bottle, which was meant for toilet cleaning. As I took it into my hands, I realized I had more filth inside me than a toilet. A toilet could be cleaned by an acid bottle, or a toilet cleaner, but there was no such product that could cleanse a criminal from inside. I felt so ashamed of myself that I couldn’t even look into the eyes of my reflection in the mirror on the wall.”
Mehek Bassi

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