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Quotes About Smoking

Quotes tagged as "smoking" (showing 1-30 of 123)
Mark Twain
“Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.”
Mark Twain

Jarod Kintz
“The only time I really think is when I smoke, and I quit smoking years ago.”
Jarod Kintz, There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't

C. JoyBell C.
“A bitch always smokes." He looks back at Lucy. "A bitch is the opposite of a whore. A bitch doesn't need anybody. Or she wants people to think she doesn't need anybody. And she smokes to prove it.”
C. JoyBell C., Saint Paul Trois Chateaux: 1948: A Novella by C. Joybell C.

David Sedaris
“Kools and Newports were for black people and lower-class whites. Camels were for procrastinators, those who wrote bad poetry, and those who put off writing bad poetry. Merits were for sex addicts, Salems were for alcoholics, and Mores were for people who considered themselves to be outrageous but really weren't.”
David Sedaris, When You Are Engulfed in Flames

John Green
“As Alaska zipped through something obvious about linear equations, stoner/baller Hank Walsten said, "Wait, wait. I don't get it."

"That's because you have eight functioning brain cells."

"Studies show that Marijuana is better for your health than those cigarettes," Hank said.

Alaska swallowed a mouthful of fries, took a drag on her cigarette, and blew a smoke at Hank. "I may die young," she said. "But at least I'll die smart. Now, back to tangents.”
John Green, Looking for Alaska

Christopher Hitchens
“Even if it were possible to cast my horoscope in this one life, and to make an accurate prediction about my future, it would not be possible to 'show' it to me because as soon as I saw it my future would change by definition. This is why Werner Heisenberg's adaptation of the Hays Office—the so-called principle of uncertainty whereby the act of measuring something has the effect of altering the measurement—is of such importance. In my case the difference is often made by publicity. For example, and to boast of one of my few virtues, I used to derive pleasure from giving my time to bright young people who showed promise as writers and who asked for my help. Then some profile of me quoted someone who disclosed that I liked to do this. Then it became something widely said of me, whereupon it became almost impossible for me to go on doing it, because I started to receive far more requests than I could respond to, let alone satisfy. Perception modifies reality: when I abandoned the smoking habit of more than three decades I was given a supposedly helpful pill called Wellbutrin. But as soon as I discovered that this was the brand name for an antidepressant, I tossed the bottle away. There may be successful methods for overcoming the blues but for me they cannot include a capsule that says: 'Fool yourself into happiness, while pretending not to do so.' I should actually want my mind to be strong enough to circumvent such a trick.”
Christopher Hitchens, Hitch-22: A Memoir

Frank Zappa
“Well, I'm not here to impinge on anybody else's lifestyle. If I'm in a place where I know I'm going to harm somebody's health or somebody asks me to please not smoke, I just go outside and smoke. But I do resent the way the nonsmoking mentality has been imposed on the smoking minority. Because, first of all, in a democracy, minorities do have rights. And, second, the whole pitch about smoking has gone from being a health issue to a moral issue, and when they reduce something to a moral issue, it has no place in any kind of legislation, as far as I'm concerned.”
Frank Zappa

Brooke Shields
“Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.”
Brooke Shields

Audrey Niffenegger
“Why do you have a cigarette lighter in your glove compartment?" her husband, Jack, asked her. "I'm bored with knitting. I've taken up arson”
Audrey Niffenegger, Her Fearful Symmetry

Edward Gorey
“There was a young lady named Mae
Who smoked without stopping all day;
As pack followed pack,
Her lungs first turned black,
And eventually rotted away.”
Edward Gorey, Floating Worlds: The Letters of Edward Gorey and Peter F. Neumeyer

Ian Fleming
“Smoking I find the most ridiculous of all the varieties of human behavior and practically the only one that is entirely against nature. Can you imagine a cow or any animal taking a mouthful of smoldering straw then breathing in the smoke and blowing it out through its nostrils?”
Ian Fleming, Goldfinger

J.R. Ward
“Man, it was a good thing vampires didn't get cancer. Lately he'd been chain-smoking like a felon.”
J.R. Ward, Lover Unbound

John Green
“I ran like a cheetah - well, like a cheetah that smoked too much.”
John Green, Looking for Alaska

Tony Parsons
“Cancer seems a high price to pay for an innocuous-looking habit. You get into smoking and you are robbed of the last 25 years of your life. Some cocky souls will say, 'Ah yes, but they are the worst 25 years.' Nobody feels like that in a cancer ward. There are no cocky souls in a cancer ward. But there's a lot of pain, not just of the excruciating physical kind that they shoot you full of morphine to smother. There are a lot of tears. All round. It is hard to say goodbye to the people you love. And it's scary. Cancer wards have a way of knocking the cockiness out of you. And for what? Another cigarette?”
Tony Parsons

George Carlin
“Personally, if I were trying to discourage people from smoking, my sign would be a little different. In fact, I might even go too far in the opposite direction. My sign would say something like, "Smoke if you wish. But if you do, be prepared for the following series of events: First, we will confiscate your cigarette and extinguish it somewhere on the surface of your skin. We will then run you nicotine-stained fingers through a paper shredder and throw them into the street, where wild dogs will swallow them and then regurgitate them into the sewers, so that infected rats can further soil them before they're flushed out to sea with the rest of the city's filth. After such time, we will sysematically seek out your friends and loved one and destroy their lives."
Wouldn't you like to see a sign like that?”
George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?

Robert Clark
“People tell me I shouldn't smoke because it is makes you look like a tit. I use exactly the same argument when people tell me they go to the gym.”
Robert Clark

Amy Fusselman
“My dad is dead. And as I type this, by the window, on the rainy day, I am alive, yes. I am living. But sometimes it doesn't feel like I am doing it fast enough, or hard enough, or all the way. And it is times like that when I can understand wanting a cigarette in my hand, then my mouth, then my hand again. Holding the cigarette. Tending to the cigarette. Giving the cigarette what it needs. Tapping it in the ashtray. Sucking on it.

Then flicking it in the street, like it meant nothing to me.”
Amy Fusselman

Italo Svevo
“Who knows whether, if I had given up smoking, I should really have become the strong perfect man I imagined? Perhaps it was this very doubt that bound me to my vice, because life is so much pleasanter if one is able to believe in one's own latent greatness”
Italo Svevo

Jarod Kintz
“Due to state laws, the restaurant was nonsmoking, which as a nonsmoker pleases me, but as a Libertarian it pisses me off.
”
Jarod Kintz, This Book Has No Title

“Hey, I stopped smoking cigarettes. Isn't that something? I'm on to cigars now. I'm on to a five-year plan. I eliminated cigarettes, then I go to cigars, then I go to pipes, then I go to chewing tobacco, then I'm on to that nicotine gum”
John Candy

Benjamin Alire Sáenz
“What is this thing you call substance abuse?
All I wanna do is forget and get loose.
Drinking and smoking over and over
What's so great about a life that's sober?

There's nothing cool about being young
When the monsters of night have stolen the sun.

I'm tired of searching for words in the sky.
All I wanna do is drink and die.
Nothing is real. It's all a big lie.
All I wanna do is drink and die.

There's nothing cool about being young
When the monsters of night have stolen the sun.”
Benjamin Alire Sáenz, Last Night I Sang to the Monster

Jarod Kintz
“My mom and dad died, but in their place I got a house of fog that’s easy to hide my feelings in. (No smoking, please.)
”
Jarod Kintz, A Zebra is the Piano of the Animal Kingdom

Margaret Weis
“you wouldn't happen to have a pipe and a bit of tobacco about, would-
i heard that!
gandalf enjoyed a good pipe!
why do you think he's called gandalf the gray? it wasn't for the color of his robes”
Margaret Weis, Elven Star

Edward Bulwer-Lytton
“He who doth not smoke hath either known no great griefs, or refuseth himself the softest consolation, next to that which comes from heaven.”
Edward Bulwer-Lytton

Robert Clark
“My daughter told me she wasn't afraid of spider but that she was afraid of my smoking. She said that she was afraid of my dying. So i went downstairs, picked up a pair of pliers and a blowtorch and showed her what real fear was.”
Robert Clark

Julie Halpern
“Char bought a pack of clove cigarettes, claiming they tasted good, to which I ask why doesn't she just go suck on a clove so I don't have to inhale her perfumed second hand smoke?”
Julie Halpern, Into the Wild Nerd Yonder

Isaac Asimov
“If I had felt then as I feel now, or as I felt a few years after I had married her, nothing could possibly have persuaded me to marry a woman who smoked. Dates, yes. Sexual adventures, yes. But to pin myself permanently inside closed quarters with a smoker? Never. Never. Never. Beauty wouldn't count, sweetness wouldn't count, suitability in every other respect wouldn't count.”
Isaac Asimov, I. Asimov

Kristen Ashley
“Then she declared loudly, “Smoke break!” and everyone’s eyes came to us, some of them shocked seeing as these days you could light up a doobie and no one would blink but if you lit up a smoke, you courted being publicly stoned to death.”
Kristen Ashley, Wild Man

Christine Feehan
“He rarely smoked, but once in a while, like now, when his world had been shaken, his woman nearly killed in front of his eyes, and he’d watched a house consume a man and spit him out, he figured a drag or two were appropriate.”
Christine Feehan, Safe Harbor

Robert Clark
“I was very surprised when last I bought a packet of cigarettes and had to request a refund as I read a warning that told me "smoking can cause fatal lung cancer".”
Robert Clark

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