quote

Quotes About Shit

Quotes tagged as "shit" (showing 1-30 of 78)
Johnny Depp
“Just keep moving forward and don't give a shit about what anybody thinks. Do what you have to do, for you.”
Johnny Depp

Colleen Hoover
“Life happens. Shit happens. And it happens a lot. To a lot of people.”
Colleen Hoover, Slammed

Mel Brooks
“I've been accused of vulgarity. I say that's bullshit.”
Mel Brooks

David Sedaris
“Shit is the tofu of cursing and can be molded to whichever condition the speaker desires. Hot as shit. Windy as shit. I myself was confounded as shit...”
David Sedaris

Lauren Oliver
“I wonder idly how long i can go without sleep before I flip my shit and start running down the street in my underwear, hallicinating purple spiders.”
Lauren Oliver, Before I Fall
tags: flip, my, shit

Louis C.K.
“It's hard to really look at somebody and go: "Hey, maybe something nice will happen." You just don't-- I know too much about life to have any optimism, because I know even if it's nice, it's going to lead to shit. I know that if you smile at somebody and they smile back, you've just decided that something shitty is going to happen.”
Louis C.K.
tags: shit

Jarod Kintz
“I just stepped in shit, and now I’ve got political rhetoric all over my shoes.”
Jarod Kintz, This Book Has No Title

Gilles Deleuze
“Shit on your whole mortifying, imaginary, and symbolic theater!”
Gilles Deleuze, Anti-Oedipus: Capitalism and Schizophrenia

Anthony Liccione
“There are four kinds of people to avoid in the world: the assholes, the asswipes, the ass-kissers, and those that just will shit all over you.”
Anthony Liccione

Jarod Kintz
“There was fried chicken in the litter box, so I helped myself and took a shit. I am a cat lover and a fan of KFC. I always take mine to go.”
Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

Bill Bryson
“What on earth would I do if four bears came into my camp? Why, I would die of course. Literally shit myself lifeless.”
Bill Bryson, A Walk in the Woods: Rediscovering America on the Appalachian Trail

Alison Goodman
“You have less honour than a piece of shit.”
Alison Goodman

Milan Kundera
“Spontaneously, without any theological training, I, a child, grasped the incompatibility of God and shit and thus came to question the basic thesis of Christian anthropology, namely that man was created in God's image. Either/or: either man was created in God's image - and has intestines! - or God lacks intestines and man is not like him.

The ancient Gnostics felt as I did at the age of five. In the second century, the Great Gnostic master Valentinus resolved the damnable dilemma by claiming that Jesus "ate and drank, but did not defecate."

Shit is a more onerous theological problem than is evil. Since God gave man freedom, we can, if need be, accept the idea that He is not responsible for man's crimes. The responsibility for shit, however, rests entirely with Him, the creator of man.”
Milan Kundera, The Unbearable Lightness of Being

Jarod Kintz
“Candy is full of taste. But so is shit, because taste is full of smell.”
Jarod Kintz, This Book Has No Title

Madeleine Urban
“This dudes nuttier than squirrel shit."

-Ty Henderson”
Madeleine Urban

“If you start to smell some of the shit, you start smelling all of the shit”
Doug Stanhope

“hoo-leee shite!”
Joseph Staten, Halo: Contact Harvest
tags: holy, shit, war

“Things are called shit for a reason, dear.”
Chloe Jun

Jarod Kintz
“Life’s like brown sugar sprinkled on shit. Sure it tastes great, if you don’t mind the smell.”
Jarod Kintz, 99 Cents For Some Nonsense

“Shit happens. Doesn't mean you have to step in it. But if you do I would buy a new pair of shoes.”
Kilburn Hall
tags: shit, shoes

M.F. Moonzajer
“I wonder either their God has turned old, sick or died, because even the religious people no more believe in shit.”
M.F. Moonzajer

Jarod Kintz
“If a building were shaped like a body, I’d imagine you’d exit out the rear.”
Jarod Kintz, This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

Jarod Kintz
“I’m so constipated that every time I go to shit, the only thing that comes out is political rhetoric.”
Jarod Kintz, This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

“A young English couple was visiting with me one summer after I had been composting humanure for about six years. One evening, as dinner was being prepared, the couple suddenly understood the horrible reality of their situation: the food they were about to eat was recycled human shit. When this fact abruptly dawned upon them, it seemed to set off an instinctive alarm, possibly inherited directly from Queen Victoria. "We don't want to eat shit!" they informed me, rather distressed (that's an exact quote), as if in preparing dinner I had simply set a steaming turd on a plate in front of them with a knife, fork and napkin.”
Joseph Jenkins, The Humanure Handbook: A Guide to Composting Human Manure

Jarod Kintz
“I hate the phrase “Shit or get off the pot,” because I rarely cook with feces.”
Jarod Kintz, This Book Has No Title

Jarod Kintz
“Yes, ma’am, I will take seconds. Your dinner tastes like excrement. I scream, you scream, we all scream for excrement.”
Jarod Kintz, 99 Cents For Some Nonsense

Jarod Kintz
“Mr. Shit gives politicians a good name. It’s the rest of the politicians who give Mr. Shit a bad name.”
Jarod Kintz, 99 Cents For Some Nonsense

Jarod Kintz
“I could never be a chef, because I could ‘t bare the thought of my art always turning to shit.”
Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

Jarod Kintz
“I’d make a great politician. I’d make it out of pig shit, so it wouldn’t be as foul as it is now.”
Jarod Kintz, This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

« previous 1 3
All Quotes | My Quotes | Add A Quote


Browse By Tag

More...