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Quotes About Sharks

Quotes tagged as "sharks" (showing 1-30 of 48)
Jarod Kintz
“I’ve often wondered why more science textbooks don’t tell teenagers that the only thing sharks like to eat more than fish, are dead prostitutes.”
Jarod Kintz, There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't

Kelley Armstrong
Just stay still, if you stay still it can't find you. That's sharks, you idiot. Sharks and dinosaurs. This isn't Jurassic Park.
Kelley Armstrong, The Summoning

“My wish is to ride the tempest, tame the waves, kill the sharks. I will not resign myself to the usual lot of women who bow their heads and become concubines.”
Trieu Thi Choi

Janette Rallison
“Guys can smell desperation. It triggers an instinct in them to run far and fast so they aren't around when a woman starts peeling apart her heart. They know she'll ask for help in putting it back together the right way - intact and beating correctly - and they dread the thought of puzzling over layers that they can't understand, let alone rebuild. They'd rather just not get blood on their hands.

But sharks are different. They smell the blood of desperation and circle in. They whisper into a girl's ear, "I'll make it better. I'll make you forget all about your pain."

Sharks do this by eating your heart, but they never mention this beforehand. That is the thing about sharks.”
Janette Rallison, My Fair Godmother

Tim Kreider
“My feeling toward Republicans is like my feeling about sharks: of course they're stupid and vicious. It's in their nature to be mindless, ravening killing machines. It's nothing personal. They don't know any better. Pretty much the only thing you can do about them is stay out of their waters and, if you're unlucky enough to meet with one, shoot it through its rudimentary brain with a spear gun.”
Tim Kreider, Twilight of the Assholes

Jarod Kintz
“I floated like driftwood in the ocean. I wasn’t worried about sharks, because my bathtub is much too shallow.”
Jarod Kintz, 99 Cents For Some Nonsense

Peter Benchley
“Sharks have everything a scientist dreams of. They're beautiful―God, how beautiful they are! They're like an impossibly perfect piece of machinery. They're as graceful as any bird. They're as mysterious as any animal on earth. No one knows for sure how long they live or what impulses―except for hunger―they respond to. There are more than two hundred and fifty species of shark, and everyone is different from every other one.”
Peter Benchley, Jaws

Laini Taylor
“Did you know that mako shark fetuses eat each other in the womb?... Its true. Only cannibal fetuses survive to be born. Can you imagine if people were like that?”
Laini Taylor, Daughter of Smoke & Bone

Neil Gaiman
“I do not believe that all books will or should migrate onto screens: as Douglas Adams once pointed out to me, more than 20 years before the Kindle showed up, a physical book is like a shark. Sharks are old: there were sharks in the ocean before the dinosaurs. And the reason there are still sharks around is that sharks are better at being sharks than anything else is. Physical books are tough, hard to destroy, bath-resistant, solar-operated, feel good in your hand: they are good at being books, and there wil always be a place for them.”
Neil Gaiman

Jarod Kintz
“When I’m in the ocean, I swim alone, because I’m a shark-eating man. I’m also a man-eating man, though to be fair I thought that one surfer was a seal when I bit into him.”
Jarod Kintz, How to construct a coffin with six karate chops

Jarod Kintz
“In my dream I was a seal, and I made love to a seagull. Then I got eaten by a shark, because that’s just the way life is. Some fish gets jealous over a bird, and decides to chomp down on his competition. It happens all the time in the real world.”
Jarod Kintz, Seriously delirious, but not at all serious

Jarod Kintz
“Don’t rub noses with a shark. It may be the last dental appointment you ever have.”
Jarod Kintz, $3.33

Laura Hillenbrand
“Louie was furious at the sharks. He had thought that they had an understanding:The men would stay out of the sharks' turf - the water - and the sharks would stay off of theirs - the raft. That the sharks had taken shots at him when he had gone overboard, and when the raft had been mostly submerged after the strafing, had seemed fair enough. But their attempt to poach men from their reinflated raft struck Louie as dirty pool. He stewed all night, scowled hatefully at the sharks all day, and eventually made a decision. if the sharks were going to try to eat him, he was going to try to eat them.”
Laura Hillenbrand, Unbroken: A World War II Story of Survival, Resilience, and Redemption

Jarod Kintz
“Sometimes I put on a black scuba suit and go walking on the beach, to relax. If I could, I’d sleep in a scuba suit—on a waterbed. Not that I actually ever get in the ocean. Too many dangerous things in the water, like barracudas, sharks, and of course there are many lawyers here on the east coast.”
Jarod Kintz, Gosh, I probably shouldn't publish this.

Jarod Kintz
“Sharks are so stupid. They swam right up to the boat, and they couldn’t even tell that I was chumming the water with ketchup, rather than blood.”
Jarod Kintz, This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

Jarod Kintz
“You have to slow down with this woman, because the moment she slows down and stops, she’ll die. She’s like a shark.” That’s what I told Renaldo, but how was I to know his girlfriend was literally a shark?”
Jarod Kintz, This Book Has No Title

Dan Chaon
“Fraj-ile," I say, pronouncing it the way she does - as if it might be a popular tourist destination in the Pacific, beautiful Fraj Isle, with its white sandy beaches and shark-filled coves.”
Dan Chaon, Stay Awake

Jarod Kintz
“If I had a choice between walking along a sidewalk with no rails and a thousand foot drop, or jumping in a tank full of blood and sharks, I’d choose the sharks.”
Jarod Kintz, This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

Jarod Kintz
“I built my ex wife a Castle of Love, and she dug a moat and filled it with sharks and lawyers. Oh well, at least I got to keep the unicorn.”
Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale

Ophelia London
“Why was life so unfair that the one guy she felt uncontrollable chemistry with ---even when they weren't even touching ---was the only guy she had to keep her hands off?”
Ophelia London, Love Bites

Ophelia London
“His lips crashed against hers. If there had been air in her lungs, she wouldn't have known what to do with it. He kissed her fiercely, making her head spin wilder than a whirlpool, knocking every last puff of breath from her body.”
Ophelia London, Love Bites

Ophelia London
“I shouldn't brag, but I'm one of the top experts in my field."
She swallowed. "Of shark sex, you mean."
"Well, that, too. Anything you want to know on the subject, Sharona... anything" --he pulled back a sexy half grin --- "I'd be happy to enlighten you.”
Ophelia London, Love Bites

Ophelia London
“I don't spill my drinks on just any man, you know." She touched his cheek. "only dashing shark lovers with pantydropping accents.”
Ophelia London, Love Bites

Ophelia London
“I want you alone," he whispered, gliding a hand around her hip, "on a slow boat to China. Days together, nights... rocking on the waves.”
Ophelia London, Love Bites

Ophelia London
“In the grand scheme of things, we share a mutual goal, but I'm not a distraction."
He couldn't help laughing, probably loudly enough to scare a school of hammerheads.
"What?"
"Sharona Blaire." He shook his head, keeping his eyes on the smooth ocean surface. "You've been nothing but the sexiest, most desirable distraction of my life." The admission hung in the air, suspended, and for a painful moment, he regretted being so open... trusting.
"I guess that means we have something else in common, Jeff Cruz.”
Ophelia London, Love Bites

Fred Barnett
“Muy Peligroso!” Bernie’s choices had become as limited as the Taco Bell menu. Reason and blood had left the building, heading south, faster than reprobates to Florida." — Shark Fin Soup 2015”
Fred Barnett

Fred Barnett
“Dauna marched her tasty 包子 and 餃 (which were far superior to the dumplings served at the Double Chins Cafe) into the waiting room." — Shark Fin Soup 2015”
Fred Barnett

Fred Barnett
“Dauna drew her lush breasts over Bernie’s cold blue lips. “Yeah. The f*cker’s dead all right." — Shark Fin Soup 2015”
Fred Barnett

Fred Barnett
“It wasn’t kidnapping. She was no kid and she certainly wasn't napping." Shark Fin Soup 2015”
Fred Barnett

Fred Barnett
“Dauna inhaled a deep drag from her happy cigarette. (Yes, her cig was happy. Fuck'n euphoric.) Smoke swirled over her tongue." — Shark Fin Soup 2015”
Fred Barnett

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