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Quotes About Satire

Quotes tagged as "satire" (showing 1-30 of 496)
Ambrose Bierce
“Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.”
Ambrose Bierce, The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary

Voltaire
“I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: Oh Lord, make my enemies ridiculous. And God granted it."

(Letter to Étienne Noël Damilaville, May 16, 1767)”
Voltaire

Edgar Allan Poe
“Invisible things are the only realities.”
Edgar Allan Poe, Loss of Breath

P.G. Wodehouse
“He had the look of one who had drunk the cup of life and found a dead beetle at the bottom.”
P.G. Wodehouse

P.G. Wodehouse
“Freddie experienced the sort of abysmal soul-sadness which afflicts one of Tolstoy's Russian peasants when, after putting in a heavy day's work strangling his father, beating his wife, and dropping the baby into the city's reservoir, he turns to the cupboards, only to find the vodka bottle empty.”
P.G. Wodehouse, The Best of Wodehouse: An Anthology

Anton Chekhov
“When asked, "Why do you always wear black?", he said, "I am mourning for my life.”
Anton Chekhov

Matt Groening
“I know all those words, but that sentence makes no sense to me.”
Matt Groening

Franz Kafka
“Most men are not wicked... They are sleep-walkers, not evil evildoers.”
Franz Kafka

Stephen Colbert
“A father has to be a provider, a teacher, a role model, but most importantly, a distant authority figure who can never be pleased. Otherwise, how will children ever understand the concept of God?”
Stephen Colbert, I Am America

Stephen Colbert
“Here's an easy way to figure out if you're in a cult: If you're wondering whether you're in a cult, the answer is yes.”
Stephen Colbert, I Am America

Voltaire
“If this is the best of possible worlds, what then are the others?”
Voltaire, Candide

William Makepeace Thackeray
“Which of us is happy in this world? Which of us has his desire? or, having it, is satisfied?”
William Makepeace Thackeray, Vanity Fair

Oscar Wilde
“Actors are so fortunate. They can choose whether they will appear in tragedy or in comedy, whether they will suffer or make merry, laugh or shed tears. But in real life it is different. Most men and women are forced to perform parts for which they have no qualifications. Our Guildensterns play Hamlet for us, and our Hamlets have to jest like Prince Hal. The world is a stage, but the play is badly cast.”
Oscar Wilde, Lord Arthur Savile's Crime and Other Stories

Gary Larson
“Welcome to Hell. Here's your accordion.”
Gary Larson, The Complete Far Side, 1980-1994

Stephen Fry
“There were people who believed their opportunities to live a fulfilled life were hampered by the number of Asians in England, by the existance of a royal family, by the volume of traffic that passed by their house, by the malice of trade unions, by the power of callous employers, by the refusal of the health service to take their condition seriously, by communism, by capitalism, by atheism, by anything, in fact, but their own futile, weak-minded failure to get a fucking grip.”
Stephen Fry, Revenge

Edgar Allan Poe
“Mysteries force a man to think, and so injure his health.”
Edgar Allan Poe, Ne Pariez Jamais Votre Tête Au Diable Et Autres Contes Non Traduits Par Baudelaire

Ralph Waldo Emerson
“The end of the human race will be that it will eventually die of civilization.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Gerard Nolst Trenité
“Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.
Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it’s written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.
Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.
Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation’s OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.
Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.
Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.
Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.
Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.
Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.
Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.
Pronunciation (think of Psyche!)
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won’t it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It’s a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.
Finally, which rhymes with enough,
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!!!”
Gerard Nolst Trenité, Drop your Foreign Accent

William S. Burroughs
“Man is an artifact designed for space travel. He is not designed to remain in his present biologic state any more than a tadpole is designed to remain a tadpole.”
William S. Burroughs

Terry Pratchett
“-Oh yes? Can you identify yourself?
-Certainly. I'd know me anywhere.”
Terry Pratchett, Maskerade

Ambrose Bierce
Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.”
Ambrose Bierce, The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary

“Clever is when one is crafty enough to mistake your imagination for intelligence. Smart is when one assumes they are too educated to notice the difference.”
Kerry E. Wagner

L.M. Montgomery
“My pen shall heal, not hurt.”
L.M. Montgomery, Emily Climbs

Chuck Palahniuk
“No, I say, it's fine.
Put a gun to my head and paint the wall with my brains.
Just great, I say. Really.”
Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club

Russell Brand
“Boggle with sex addicts is up there with go-kart racing with junkies.”
Russell Brand, My Booky Wook

Lloyd Alexander
“-"He loved her...It was noble of him. It was beautiful."

-"It was stupid.”
Lloyd Alexander, Westmark

Mercedes Lackey
“If they projected the fact that they are dangerous any harder, there would be little puddles of "danger" on the floor around them. Look, it's "danger", don't step in it!”
Mercedes Lackey, The Eagle & the Nightingales

Aleister Crowley
“Some men are born sodomites, some achieve sodomy, and some have sodomy thrust upon them...”
Aleister Crowley, The Scented Garden Of Abdullah The Satirist Of Shiraz

نجيب محفوظ
“أتحدى اسرائيل ان تفعل بنا مثلما فعلنا بأنفسنا”
نجيب محفوظ, المرايا

Mark Twain
“An honest politician is an oxymoron.”
Mark Twain

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