quote

Quotes About Sandwich

Quotes tagged as "sandwich" (showing 1-30 of 54)
Jarod Kintz
“With faith the size of a mustard seed, you can indeed move a mountain, but you can hardly be expected to garnish your sandwich.”
Jarod Kintz, American Association for the Advancement of Aardvarks Presents: Dear Natalie

Jarod Kintz
“If there are two clones, one good and one evil, I can’t kill on sight alone. It’s the same with love. Some love hurts, and some love elevates, but as to which one is which, they are two sides to the same sandwich.
”
Jarod Kintz, This Book Has No Title

Julia Quinn
“Gregory,” she said, “you cannot leave me here. What if someone finds you and removes you from the house? Who will know I am here? And what if…and what if…and then what if…”
He smiled, enjoying her officiousness too much to actually listen to her words. She was definitely herself again.
“When this is all over,” he said, “I shall bring you a sandwich.”
That stopped her short. “A sandwich? A sandwich?”
Julia Quinn, On the Way to the Wedding

Jarod Kintz
“How do two retards eat a turd sandwich? Well, not by first wiping their ass with wheat bread like I showed them.”
Jarod Kintz, How to construct a coffin with six karate chops

Jarod Kintz
“I had a dream about you. You had a bottle made of smoky glass, which made the contents appear mysterious, and I had the last smoky exhalation of a dead smoker in a Ziploc bag. I offered to trade my sandwich for your drink, but you said, “No thanks, I’m asexual.”
Jarod Kintz, We Had A #Dream About You

Jarod Kintz
“I want a Snuggle Sandwich—hold the pickle. Make it a combo and upsize it.”
Jarod Kintz, 99 Cents For Some Nonsense

Jarod Kintz
“I had a dream about you. You were saving your love for another man, so I gave you a bigger Ziploc bag to save it in, because if you’re going to make that relationship work, you’ve got to give more than what you gave to me. Later I regretted giving you my Ziploc bag, because I was left with no place to store my sandwich so I had to rent a locker at the local YMCA.
”
Jarod Kintz, We Had A #Dream About You

Jarod Kintz
“I had a dream about you. You were hungry, so I made you a binocular sandwich, which is peeping power between two slices of bread. You were a hungry pervert, so I thought it perfect.
”
Jarod Kintz, We Had A #Dream About You

Jarod Kintz
“He looked me right in my eyes and told me he just ate a sandwich, and I had to call him on it. “Baloney,” I said. And I was right.”
Jarod Kintz, At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

Jarod Kintz
“The three of us met to discuss dinner over sandwiches, and I decided I liked them. The sandwiches, not the people. I hated those fucking people.”
Jarod Kintz

Jarod Kintz
“The fog scattered the light and spread it thick like mayonnaise. It was late and I was sandwiched between 2011 and 2012, and all I needed was some tomato slices to fully enjoy it.”
Jarod Kintz, At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

Jarod Kintz
“Anyone want some of my foot long sub? It’s huge! It’s nearly half as long as my penis.”
Jarod Kintz, At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

Jarod Kintz
“I am the egg salad sandwich of love. The only problem is, I’m in the mood for a tuna fish sandwich—hold the mercury.”
Jarod Kintz, 99 Cents For Some Nonsense

Jarod Kintz
“I like wearing gloves made of cheese (Swiss), and then going around asking elderly men if they want a knuckle sandwich.”
Jarod Kintz

Jarod Kintz
“Wherever I go I carry around a clothes iron, a loaf of bread, and a block of cheddar, so no matter where I am I can make myself a grilled cheese sandwich.”
Jarod Kintz, A Zebra is the Piano of the Animal Kingdom

Jarod Kintz
“I had a dream about you. I was trying to dissect love like it was a frog, and you were trying to dissect a frog like it was love. I said we should team up and have sex, and you said, “Sure, I’ll have sex with you—for twenty bucks.” Geez! For half that I can get twice the value, in two twins and a ham sandwich down at the trailer park. Sure, the combined age of the twins is 140, but at least the sandwich will be fresh.”
Jarod Kintz, Dreaming is for lovers

Jarod Kintz
“Don’t be surprised if I try to stab you with a club sandwich sword. I will defend your right to free speech at any cost—including killing you.”
Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale

Jarod Kintz
“The Mayo Clinic came to Jacksonville sometime between 1985 and 1987 (1986, to be precise). At the time the mayor fought the Mayo Clinic’s arrival, because as he put it, “The world doesn’t need more mayo. The world needs more sandwiches.”
Jarod Kintz, I am Jacksonville

Jarod Kintz
“Don’t cry over spilled feces. Just clean it up and continue making your sandwich.
”
Jarod Kintz, Whenever You're Gone, I'm Here For You

Jarod Kintz
“I’ll make birthday to you like turkey on wheat. Hold the mayonnaise—and hold me tightly. My love candle burns bright for you like a black hole.”
Jarod Kintz, Love quotes for the ages. And the ageless sages.

Jarod Kintz
“I made a Lindsey Sandwich out of two Jennifers and a Jessica. Then I ate it like I make love—alone, in the corner, with a box of tissues and lots of tears.
”
Jarod Kintz, My love can only occupy one person at a time

Jarod Kintz
“You can lead a horse you water, but you can’t convert it to a camel. Have you ever made love to an egg-salad sandwich that you named Denise?
”
Jarod Kintz, My love can only occupy one person at a time

Jarod Kintz
“I love ham, grilled cheese, and peanut butter and jelly. Comma, comma, and comma, because otherwise it would read grilled cheese and peanut butter and jelly, grouped together, which would make a weird sandwich.”
Jarod Kintz, My love can only occupy one person at a time

Jarod Kintz
“I want to scrape earwax out of your ears like the last of the chunky peanut butter in a jar. I’d love it if you ate one of my world famous Listening Sandwiches.”
Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale

Jarod Kintz
“If you want walking dolphins and talking sandwiches, you’re lucky to have me buying shoes for you—and selling them to you. I’ll give you the best price (for myself), because business is better when love is the only consideration.”
Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale

Jarod Kintz
“I brought horny in a brown paper bag from home that I’ll break out at lunchtime and put over someone’s ugly head. Tomorrow I’ll bring a Love Sandwich, minus the mayonnaise.”
Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale

Jarod Kintz
“I eat meat. Dinosaur. Does your love resemble a roast beef sandwich? If so, it’s just too so-so for my taste.”
Jarod Kintz, Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

Jarod Kintz
“Networking without caring about other people is like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich minus the jelly and the peanut butter. I’m out of both, but I did write them on my grocery list.”
Jarod Kintz, #Networking is people looking for people looking for people

Jarod Kintz
“If you’re wearing a space suit, I’ll take a unicrescent sandwich; hold the mayonnaise—and the moon. (But don’t hold it in your hands.) Let us dance like the moon is hollow and inhabited by beings of light who give off enough energy so I can be a night nudist.”
Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale

« previous 1
All Quotes | My Quotes | Add A Quote


Browse By Tag

More...