Quotes About Poop

Quotes tagged as "poop" (showing 1-14 of 14)
Oprah Winfrey
“Everybody looks at their poop.”
Oprah Winfrey
tags: poop

Jarod Kintz
“I can hardly be expected to think like Santa. I get three times the letters, I poop burritos, and my penis is two reindeers more plentiful.”
Jarod Kintz, So many chairs, and no time to sit

Jarod Kintz
“Life’s like brown sugar sprinkled on shit. Sure it tastes great, if you don’t mind the smell.”
Jarod Kintz, 99 Cents For Some Nonsense

“This was a true pants-pooping moment.”
Dinah Katt, Once Upon a Time Travel

Jarod Kintz
“I possess an object that reminds me of your stepdad’s bowel movements. It’s brown and squishy and smells like yesterday.”
Jarod Kintz, The Merits of Marthaism, and How Being Named Susan Can Benefit You

“I was still a newlywed and certainly wasn't to the point where I felt comfortable yelling, "I'm going to shit my pants any second!"
But the sweating had started, which was followed by the tears. "I'm not feeling well, and need to get home," I told him.
"Ok, but I have to obey the speed limit because of all the kids in the neighborhood," he replied.
I was pleading with him to hurry up when he came to a complete stop.
I screamed at him, "Why are we stopping?"
He rolled down the window. "Retreat."
I could see the flag lowering in the distance, the beautiful orange sun setting behind it.
In the opposite direction I could see the roof line of our home - so close, yet so far away.
As Retreat played, I surrendered. I pooped my pants. I took one for the flag.
Now that's patriotism.”
Mollie Gross, Confessions of a Military Wife

Josh Stern
“Some people are so positive, that when they slip in dog poop, they pirouette”
Josh Stern, And That's Why I'm Single: What Good Is Having A Lucky Horseshoe Up Your Butt When The Horse Is Still Attached?

Anne Frank
“You are all made of real poop.”
Anne Frank, The Diary of Anne Frank: And Related Readings

“Life is nothin but poop, so eat lots of beans.... And prunes”
Cray jones

Mary Cappello
“Sometimes people swallow things out of devotion or fidelity to a cause, as in the case of strategists and spies who make their way through enemy lines and then poop their war secrets at the foot of Napoleon.”
Mary Cappello, Swallow: Foreign Bodies, Their Ingestion, Inspiration, and the Curious Doctor Who Extracted Them
tags: poop

Jarod Kintz
“My love is like the collision between a falling statue and still bird poop.”
Jarod Kintz, Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

“The reason why women think men should spend a lot of money on an engagement ring is because women are the ones who get to clean up all the poop (stains and toilet bowl swirls included) that is provided by every family member living in the house until they die.”
Heather Chapple, Write like no one is reading

“People die and starve every day, but look on the bright side. Lower population.”
Stephen David McGoughan-Matthews

“Sticking a straw up your butt won't get rid of the constipation.”
Jess H

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