Quotes About Nipple

Quotes tagged as "nipple" (showing 1-10 of 10)
Jarod Kintz
“The truth is like a nipple: the more you twist it, the more somebody is going to get hurt.”
Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

Jarod Kintz
“I rarely drink, but last night, after several hours and several beers at the bar, I found myself face to face with two huge boobs. They weren’t the breasts of a young woman, but those of an old man. Still, the taste of a nipple is genderless.”
Jarod Kintz, So many chairs, and no time to sit

Jarod Kintz
“Both of the items were used in an attempted murder, but hers was a dagger, and mine was a baby’s rubber bottle nipple. That was the last time I took a stab at love.”
Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

Jarod Kintz
“I was hot so I gave myself a haircut. I then saw a bald man sweating, so I offered to tweeze his eyebrows. He accepted and was so grateful that he offered to trade mustaches with me. In remembrance of that special bonding moment, I still wear his mustache over my left nipple.
Jarod Kintz, At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

D.D. Barant
“Deep spirit scanning,” Eisfanger says. His voice has a strange resonance to it, like I’m hearing him through a bad phone connection. “Don’t worry, it’s completely safe. Well, mostly.”


“Side effects have been documented,” he admits. “In a very small percentage of cases. Less than two percent.”

“What kind of side effects?” Suddenly I’m feeling nauseous. Feels like the ants are crawling around inside me now, which is exactly as disturbing as it sounds.

“Memory loss. Synesthesia. And occasionally … vestigial growths.”

“So I could forget my own name, start smelling purple everywhere and have an extra nipple sprout from my forehead?”
D.D. Barant, Back from the Undead

Jarod Kintz
“Everyone owns a piece of democracy. Actually, I own two pieces, and each one has a nipple.”
Jarod Kintz, This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

Jarod Kintz
“Love is a lot like coffee, I once thought as I suckled on a milky nipple. But I was one at the time, so what did I know about coffee?”
Jarod Kintz, I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

Jarod Kintz
“One of the two objects under my shirt is my nipple, and the other is a pepperoni. Taste both to see which is which, and then tell me you don’t love me.”
Jarod Kintz, My love can only occupy one person at a time

Jarod Kintz
“I saw a nipple and I got an erection. It was a man’s nipple, and I was standing alone in front of a mirror.”
Jarod Kintz, The Merits of Marthaism, and How Being Named Susan Can Benefit You

Debra Anastasia
“You’re rocking the full monty? A fur bikini? A wheezing wildebeest? Well, I’ll be your fucking Hairy Plotter. Hold up.” Duke waddled around in his homemade nonsense and returned quickly with a tube of what looked like lotion. “This here? I used it on my face. Seven minutes and I was slippery like a nipple in oil.”
Debra Anastasia, Fire in the Hole

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