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Quotes About Midget

Quotes tagged as "midget" (showing 1-30 of 32)
Jarod Kintz
“Love is like learning to ride a midget, which I’ve never done because I’m afraid of heights.”
Jarod Kintz, Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

Jarod Kintz
“We all long for something. Midgets long to be long, but I long to belong.”
Jarod Kintz, Sleepwalking is restercise

Jarod Kintz
“Would you mind if I used your kitchen sink to take a bath? I have the hygiene of a midget.”
Jarod Kintz, Sleepwalking is restercise

Jarod Kintz
“I long for your love like the length of a midget.”
Jarod Kintz, Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

Jarod Kintz
“I got excited when I saw a midget, and then disappointed when I realized it was just a child. Those things are so common.”
Jarod Kintz, Sleepwalking is restercise

Jarod Kintz
“I am one pair of roses away from the grave,” I told the midget with the twelve-inch erection. It wasn’t his—he was just holding it for a friend (that impressive penis belonged to a much taller man). Ah, but that’s life, no?”
Jarod Kintz, Ah, but that's life, no?

Jarod Kintz
“I loved her as long as a midget. It was gruesome, and then I grew some.”
Jarod Kintz, Write like no one is reading

Jarod Kintz
“I snorted powdered flamingoes while I pondered love. I sat at the bar two hours waiting for my ice on the rocks to melt so I could drink it and leave, but it was like my ex wife’s heart—it was just too frigid to melt. So I called up a midget, buckled myself in on his back, and had him give me a ride home. Ah, but that’s life, no?”
Jarod Kintz, Ah, but that's life, no?

Jarod Kintz
“I had a dream about you. You were 1882, and I was 1982. You said you were older, and I replied that I was taller. Still, for being a midget, you were pretty good at basketball.
”
Jarod Kintz, We Had A #Dream About You

Jarod Kintz
“My penis isn’t big. It just appeared that way because the midget’s hands were so small.”
Jarod Kintz, 99 Cents For Some Nonsense

Jarod Kintz
“I got a small package in the mail today, and I thought it was the midget stripper I bought off eBay. But it was just a pair of shoes I ordered. Didn’t matter, I still made them dance for me.”
Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

Jarod Kintz
“I’m 50% in love. To put that into a visual, I am a 3’ tall midget aspiring to be a 6’ tall man, with the coffee capacity of a narcoleptic camel.”
Jarod Kintz, I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

Jarod Kintz
“How many midgets does it take to take over the world? I’m not sure, but I’d guess twice as many.”
Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

Jarod Kintz
“I am the leprechaun I rainbow into being. Buy me a beer, and get to know my inner midget.”
Jarod Kintz, A Zebra is the Piano of the Animal Kingdom

Jarod Kintz
“I had a dream about you. You told me you liked roller coasters, so I introduced you to a midget who wasn’t tall enough to ride them, so you could feel the shame of living a life of such privilege. 
”
Jarod Kintz, I had a dream about you 2

Jarod Kintz
“February should be Midget History Month. After all, it is the shortest month.”
Jarod Kintz, Sleepwalking is restercise

Jarod Kintz
“My clone will be funny naturally, like a clown getting stabbed by a midget with a sharp carrot. People will love him for him, not because he’s trying to be me.
”
Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

Dan Vyleta
“It takes me a while to drag him out, he's got himself stuck to the axle, and by the time I am done and stand over the body something strange has started to happen. The alley's filled with a half-dozen cats, runty little things with their ribs showing and their tails worn high like they're pointing to the moon. I stand there, breathing froth into the snowflakes and watch them gather round me, soft kitty paws, and now and then a patrol car rolls past in the distance. The cats are circling us, tails cocked at the moon, their muzzles bloodied by the tail lights' glow. They are vicious bastards, let me tell you: frost on their whiskers, eyes like cut glass, a half-dozen pairs, on me and the dead man. And then they start licking. Licking at the snow I mean, the blood in the snow, they lap it up like mother's milk. And all the while from their throats, from their whole bodies, there issues this sound, you hear it with your skin, it's like an engine running under your palm. That's when I realize they are purring, man, purring as they feed on the midget's death.”
Dan Vyleta, Pavel & I

Jarod Kintz
“In my new job, I have big shoes to fill. My predecessor was a midget.
”
Jarod Kintz, Sleepwalking is restercise

Jarod Kintz
“I love with the heart of two men. Well, I would, if that damned neurosurgeon would go ahead and replace my left brain with the heart of a midget.
”
Jarod Kintz, Love quotes for the ages. And the ageless sages.

Jarod Kintz
“I got a little help. From a midget.”
Jarod Kintz, Sleepwalking is restercise

Jarod Kintz
“Love is me plus you. But what’s with the midget in the corner recording all of our interactions? I thought I fired him yesterday.
”
Jarod Kintz, Love Quotes for the Ages. Specifically Ages 19-91.

Jarod Kintz
“Love grows slow, like a midget. My love for you is Goliath.”
Jarod Kintz, Love Quotes for the Ages. Specifically Ages 19-91.

Jarod Kintz
“The best part about making love to a midget is haggling that the price should be discounted by 50% because she’s half as tall.”
Jarod Kintz, Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

Jarod Kintz
“I had a dream about you. You were a midget, only shorter.
But your love for me was tall and handsome and everything you’re not.”
Jarod Kintz, My love can only occupy one person at a time

Jarod Kintz
“Just like wearing black makes you look thinner, wearing a midget makes you look taller.
”
Jarod Kintz, Sleepwalking is restercise

Jarod Kintz
“I had a dream about you. I was tall in years but short in inches. I was 75 years old and 31 inches tall, which is the reverse of what I am in real life. Still, I have to say I enjoyed the ability to look under women’s skirts without having to bend over. 
”
Jarod Kintz, I had a dream about you 2

Jarod Kintz
“Love is a rainbow, a bridge of bright colors. On the scale of love, I can go from Leprechaun to pot of gold in under 38 inches.”
Jarod Kintz, My love can only occupy one person at a time

“I think it would be interesting if NASCAR required a GPS. After all it would say "Turn left.............Turn left........... Turn left.......”
JOHNNY CORN

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